My dad is in comfort care now
8 years ago
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Brought home dad's cacti now dying? Help
Comments (4)Your cactus is not a cactus, it is a euphorbia, the well known crown of thorns. It will not withstand frost, and being a succulent, will not tolerate overwatering. On the other hand, underwatering can cause leaf drop, which is not fatal to the plant. I have seen beautiful specimens in Florida, and during my last visit 2 months ago, took a few cuttings which appear to have rooted successfully, one of the cuttings even flowered a few weeks after I took it. It needs well drained soil. Christopher...See MoreUpdate... now I know my dad has lost it
Comments (7)My heart aches for you. My Mom has been in nursing care for over 3 years. Didn't plan on it but things happen. There was no way I could continue to care for her, my handicapped brother and my own dd who was 9 at the time. I've watched her get worse mentally even though the issue was always physical before. She has been in a wheelchair for over 7 years and relied on it for 3 years before that to a degree. She has no hip to speak of etc. She is now convinced that I can take her home if she can walk. She has had several falls trying to get out of her chair. Many times when I visit she tries to scoot out of bed. Amazing what they can do when the desire overrides their ability. My oldest brother has been oblivious but in the last couple of months he too has been there more to see more of what actually goes on. I hear similar things like aides being unkind, not eating etc. I know she isn't being mistreated but we all know it's nothing like home. She's 86 now and I've watched the changes. She can't talk well because of a stroke like illness, she can't see because of detached retinas and she can't hear well, is incontinent, the whole nine yards. Up until about 4-6 months ago she got pleasure and peace from her prayers, saying her rosary and watching the news. Now, I don't know that she does any of that. I've rambled on but it's somewhat comforting to know that we aren't alone in our situations and whatever guilt, unhappiness or sadness we feel is normal. Still struggle with it but hopefully it makes us stronger in the end. I hope your family continues their support of you and I wish you peace. Sis...See MorePutting dad into memory care center
Comments (15)Over two years ago Dad put me on his main account that his SS goes into and it will be used just for medicine, clothes, toiletries and whatever he needs. If it was up to my sister she'd taken every dome he has and left him at the door step of some home instead of at least getting him into a good home. Although homes are not like being able to live in your own home till the end but in his case there's nothing I can do, he needs the help that I cannot give him. I cannot believe that let my dad call me the first day he was there, as soon as he heard my voice he started crying and this really upset me to hear him so torn up, I called them back and complained, letting them know this was wrong cause he's not going to settle down until he gets use to being there. Then the next day they called telling me that dad wanted to talk to me and I told them that he's only going to get upset and start crying again and asked if this was normal protocol, upsetting both my dad and I. Today was better I called them and asked how he was doing and of course they say he's doing fine but in my heart I know not all is fine or he wouldn't be there. Being fine is living a normal life. Thank you for your support it means a lot to have someone to talk to about this. I'm all alone in this...See MoreMy husband just lost his dad
Comments (4)I have been trying to help my husband. He hasn't shown any grief since the day he had to see his father's body at the funeral home. At the funeral he was the only dry-eyed person. I have been doing everything around the house, and anything I can think of to make things easier on him. But I am about ready to snap. NOt at him but at the insensitivity of other people. It is crazy. First, the my FIL's sister (in her 50's) posted an invite to his funeral on facebook. It was supposed to be a private family graveside service because my husband's mother is in a very fragile state right now. It was such a shock and she is not doing well. So two days before the funeral it is found out that his family now has to get together enough food to feed about 50 ppl because my FIL's sister invited all these people to the service and get together afterward. They did NOT need the extra stress of having to do this!! And a simple thing- my parents decided to send flowers my MIL's house even though they really don't know her. My mother asked ME to send them (because I could pick out something she'd like I guess) so I called a local florist and asked that the flowers be delivered to the house on the day of the funeral. The florist calls me back the day of the funeral to say they couldn't get the flowers I wanted in that day so they would be delivered the next day. I didn't want to argue so I said ok. There are more important things. But then I get another call that evening saying the flowers wouldnt' be delivered until TWO days after the funeral. I spoke with the owner who was VERY rude. When I said the flowers were for a funeral he corrected me and said "No they are not for a funeral, they are being delivered to a home address." Yes, dumbass but they have a sympathy card with them. He then asked what the address was even though I'd already given it to the person who took the order previously. He went on to say it wasn't his fault (I wasn't even upset at this point) that his supplier was late and all he could do was have me select another arrangement and he "Might" be able to deliver it by the next day. I found another florist and called him back and asked him to cancel the order. He said he'd already made arrangements to get the flowers I needed (still two days late) and I told him I just wanted to cancel the order please and he said whatever and hung up on me!! Stupid, but I just broke down crying. And at the service, the strangest thing was that my MIL did not want to watch her husband's urn be buried in the dirt (her kids and grandkids wanted to watch) and I definately don't blame her. She is still thinking of him as a person who is alive or has characteristics of being alive and to see that would just kill me. She started bawling and told everyone she had to get out of there and NOT one of her kids escorted her away. MY FIL's sister who posted the thing on facebook took her away. It also seems that my MIL does not want to hear any good things about her husband from anyone. SHe is very angry toward him (probably for leaving her alone) and if anything nice is said she gets mad. So I say nothing. I just don't know what to do....See More
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