My dad is in comfort care now
8 years ago
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Kylie's Dad is with the angels now.
Comments (30)Thanks You all so much for all of your thoughts and Prayers.. I got home yesterday and will be headed back in the morning for services on Monday.. After watching him lie in a hospital bed.. unable to speak, swallow or breathe.. His passing is a Blessing... Still not easy but my Dad would kick my butt if we were to just leave him there like that.. So Please Do a Dance or Hoist one for Fred!..LOL I know he would appreciate it!!! He Loved to Party!!! "You don't Have a Good Time You Create One"..One of his Fav lines!!!..... Thanks again ya'll.. Hopefully I will be back soon..⺠Kylie...See MoreUpdate... now I know my dad has lost it
Comments (7)My heart aches for you. My Mom has been in nursing care for over 3 years. Didn't plan on it but things happen. There was no way I could continue to care for her, my handicapped brother and my own dd who was 9 at the time. I've watched her get worse mentally even though the issue was always physical before. She has been in a wheelchair for over 7 years and relied on it for 3 years before that to a degree. She has no hip to speak of etc. She is now convinced that I can take her home if she can walk. She has had several falls trying to get out of her chair. Many times when I visit she tries to scoot out of bed. Amazing what they can do when the desire overrides their ability. My oldest brother has been oblivious but in the last couple of months he too has been there more to see more of what actually goes on. I hear similar things like aides being unkind, not eating etc. I know she isn't being mistreated but we all know it's nothing like home. She's 86 now and I've watched the changes. She can't talk well because of a stroke like illness, she can't see because of detached retinas and she can't hear well, is incontinent, the whole nine yards. Up until about 4-6 months ago she got pleasure and peace from her prayers, saying her rosary and watching the news. Now, I don't know that she does any of that. I've rambled on but it's somewhat comforting to know that we aren't alone in our situations and whatever guilt, unhappiness or sadness we feel is normal. Still struggle with it but hopefully it makes us stronger in the end. I hope your family continues their support of you and I wish you peace. Sis...See MoreI have concerns in caring for Dad
Comments (6)I know this is an incredibly difficult time for you. Both of my parents were diagnosed with cancer about a year apart. My mother is still fighting lung cancer and my father passed in Sept. He, like your dad seems to be, was very independent and very very stubborn...LOL. They just get worse when they get older. He refused to let me go with him to doctors appointments and discuss his care AND his health issues. He had difficulty eating and meds really didn't help. Your dad sounds like he might be more amenable to something like Meals on Wheels where they bring a meal a day. There are all sorts of programs available. There is a program here were a person(nurse?) will stop by and check on a shut-in to see if they've eaten, see how they are feeling, etc. My mother was involved in it when she was still working. There might be something like that in your area? It is so frustrating to get them to eat enough. And to eat food that hasn't been in the cabinet since before Clinton took office. My parents did NOT like it when I cleaned out their cabinets and chucked all the old canned food. They didn't realized canned food expired. Oh, they can be too much sometimes. Visiting everyday and bringing something to eat or cooking a meal while I'm there is what I have done for about three years now. I also cook a few meals and stick them in the freezer to eat later in the week. They loved having the company and having someone to eat with seemed to help. It seems to work best in my situation. An assisted living situation might be a good place but many people fight that tooth and nail. There are probably some great support groups at hospitals around the area where you live. There are social workers that might be able to offer some helpful information. Good luck and don't feel overwhelmed. There are some great books out there too that offer some help with dealing with these changes in your life. Just a thought. Again, good luck....See MoreA comforting sign from my dad
Comments (10)yeah.... Losing my little brother a month ago has been the hardest thing I've ever had to face. I wanted to kill myself, so I could avoid the pain and maybe even be with my brothers again. Within the first hours, driving over here, my mom asleep exhausted from crying all night, I myself crying and driving on the freeway with no sleep, I thought how likely and easy it would be to end it for us both. One movement of my hands into the opposite lane... And then I heard his voice in my head. You know how you narrate to yourself... well Dan and I were full siblings and we had similar tonal qualities in our voices. His voice was like the masculine version of my own. It may have been my own ego trying to cope, but I don't think so. Because he had some very definite things to say. Perhaps I was crazy, but a very clear conversation took place in my head. I was very close to losing it when I heard his voice, crystal clear, "Cari, just chill. Chill and relax. You can't change what happened, and I'm *so sorry*. You need to be strong for mom right now". And I thought to him, "Dan? Is this real? Are you really speaking to me or am I imagining what i want to hear"? "You and I had a special connection, Cari, and that's why you can hear me". "Will I always be able to hear you? Will you always be with me like this"? "I'll always be with you". "Where are you"? I got the impression of a smile, and the last clear words he spoke in my head. "I can't answer that". And if I try to make it happen again, to imagine his voice, it's not the same, or he just says those same things over and over. Now, his death rattled my already weak faith to the core. Since then I have been searching with all my heart for Jesus. I never felt spirituality in religion before, but now it is different. I have begged and prayed for the faith I need to believe that my brothers are together in Heaven, that Jesus saved them. I believe I have been given it through three strong signs. That was one of them. The second one happened the next day, and it was so powerful that it erased all doubt about the continuity of the human soul. I received a... a vision, a halluciantion, whatever you want to call it. After the mortifying experience of identifying his body and seeing him like that, my mother and I were driving to the family's house, going out of our minds, and I began to scream at God. How could you take his young body, so healthy, and let it die? I can't believe I'll never see him alive again; no more smiling, no more sweating, no more hard muscles, no more beautiful brown eyes. How could you call yourself compassionate and/or loving? How can I even survive without seeing him again??????? And when we got out of the car, the door to the house was open... we were no more than 15 ft away. What we saw made the two of us stagger and practically drop to our knees. I remember having time to say "WTF???!!! Who IS that?" Because there before us, it looked as if he was walking down the hallway in front of the open door. It didn't just look to be, I tell you, it WAS him, in the flesh. He had just gotten out of the shower. We saw one stride in that long legged lean way he had.... then he turned and faced us. He stood in the doorway for a good five seconds, sporting the biggest grin I'd ever seen, and waving at us. Smiling and waving. Then my uncle snapped into focus. Now, if Dan had lived to middle age, he would have looked like my uncle. Both had dark hair and dark eyes. But when Ray snapped into focus for my mother and I, he wasn't smiling like that. Now way. Less than 48 hours since the accident, you people know that no one was smiling. He saw us staggering and immediately knew we had mistaken him for Danny. He came to us and said "If he can live through me in any way, I am honored". Without a word from us, he knew we had thought he was Dan. He was Dan. We weren't that far away, and I know what I saw. The drops of water glistening on his white torso. The smile. My uncle is tan, and he wasn't smiling. It must be hard tp bridge the gap between life and death, so I think this was... the only way, the only time that God could let us know that Dan continues on. He made sure that both me and my mom had the same hallucination or the same vision, whatever you want to call it, so we would know it's real and not just our grieving imaginations. They continue on, and they are happy....See More
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