WWYD - Vacation Home Hosting Request

6 years ago

As the poster who is always brave about telling folks how to stand up and say no, it's now my turn to ask a shrinking violet question :)

I got a text earlier today from my technically-cousin; she's actually my adult son/DIL's age, the daughter of my first cuz. We aren't super close, although she and her husband live ~ 2 hours north and brought their sailboat down for our holiday gathering at our vacation house for Christmas. They stayed on the boat and came over daily to hang out with the family, take a shower, wash clothes etc. It was a nice visit, they are a cute couple, both veterinarians so very responsible etc.

The cousin asked if we will be down there this weekend and when I responded yes she said she, her husband and their friend-best man at their wedding-were coming to the Keys Saturday, staying overnight. Recognizing a hint when I read one ;), I then checked with my husband and with his immediate assent invited her and her husband to stay in our downstairs apartment which will be empty. And then (cue thunderclap of hostess etiquette doom) the text response came back asking if best man can stay too.

Oh dear. I will state unequivocally I do NOT want to host a stranger; not only does that bother me in terms of having someone I don't know in my house the invitation has now turned into having family and someone I don't know who are basically using us as a free AirBnb...at least that's how I feel. OTOH it's a family member, albeit not a close one, asking. OTOOH if I say no I doubt they will come back, but if I say yes my husband has already said 'I don't want to see them again ever.'

So, what's the concensus? I'm leaning toward texting back the truth which will be a simple response along the line of 'that won't work for us, as we only host friends and family at the vacation house.' It's simple and the truth. Second choice is a white lie that Son/DIL may come down after all so we want to keep the apartment open--but that really doesn't sit right with me. Distant third option is to allow them to come with their friend and then never invite them or allow them to invite themselves again.

What say you, etiquette-family politics-vacation house owners?

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Comments (3)

yeonassky
6 years ago
For me it's one night yes two nights yes three nights or more nights.. hmm. I like the idea of having guests, I like the guests while they're here but I don't like them here for very long. Ymmv. I have found some of my most enjoyable times are when it's more than just family. It does add an extra Dimension which often brings more enjoyment.
Bluebell66
6 years ago
So all three would stay in the downstairs apartment? If it were me, I guess I would probably let them, including the best man. The guy is obviously very close with them, and it sounds like you enjoy spending time with this couple, so I would imagine he is a decent guy - otherwise they probably wouldn’t be vacationing with him. If they prove to be awful guests I wouldn’t allow them back again.

if you really aren’t comfortable with him being there, I would CALL her to explain that you simply aren’t comfortable hosting people you don’t know well. I think if you try to do it via text, it could go south on you.
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Blue Onblue
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They are travelling together and it is nice that they want to make sure the best man is well taken care of. If it was me I would not have an issue with it. And honestly- your comment about using your downstairs empty apartment as free AirBnb strikes me as odd. It's nice to have family and friends to rely on- not everything is about money.

WWYD - Vacation Home Hosting Request

Comments (3)

yeonassky

Bluebell66

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