Hi Tisha, I don't think there is any problem having a wedding of 16 people that include only close family members and friends. This is your wedding and you can do what ever you want. If anyone has a problem with that, that is just tough. My first wedding had 12 people in it. Grandmothers, parents, brothers and sisters, and one good friend were the only people present at my first wedding. Aunts, uncles and cousins were not invited. Neither were any other of our friends. Sure, there were a few people who felt a little left out, but it was explained to them what we wanted and again if they didn't like it, that was too bad. I had an uncle in particular who was really put off, but then I just consider the source. My second wedding was also small and intimate. It was at the houses of my best friend. She had a big house. Another friend of mine married us. It included about 27 people. It also included a small reception. It was a little different though. We timed the wedding to correspond with having our honeymoon include a 75th birthday party of my wife's mother. So as not to burden my wife's family with having to make two trips (one to the family reunion and one to our wedding), we suggested that people not come out to our wedding and make it a 75th birthday party and wedding reception. Nobody who was not invited to the wedding made any comment at all about being left out. People understand that not everyone can be invited to an intimate wedding. The people at the wedding thought it was very nice. I have been to several small weddings. Some of the people had small weddings and a larger reception afterwards. I have been both invited to a wedding and reception afterwards and only invited to the reception afterwards. I never thought anything about it. I also never heard of anybody saying that it was weird. Again, some people will feel that it is their business to voice an opinion and that opinion may not be very pleasant. I believe that one cannot satisfy everyone. No matter how big your wedding is going to be, someone will feel left out. That's just the way it is. As far as invitations work. People invited to the wedding will get wedding invitations and an invitation to the reception. People invited to the reception only get an invitation to the reception. It would not be very kind to to use the same invitation and then say to some people that they were invited to the reception only. A separate invitation should be made for those people. That makes it a little more complicated but that is what I would do. Weddings are for the bride and groom. It is their day. Weddings are stressful enough. It should not be a day where everybody else determines what one should and should not do on their special day. I hope this helps, Larry

I agree with ljpother - I think you'll always get a person asking off topic questions. I don't mind when people come to the WS forum with off-topic questions. I think it's a great chance to inform them about wintersowing and increase our numbers. I don't think anyone should ever respond to an off topic question in a mean way. We definitley won't get people to convert to WS'ing that way! :) As for the reasons one might ask an off topic question on this forum: I personally would prefer to ask an off topic question to those that I speak with often on GW. I myself have had some nasty experiences on other forums (where my question was absolutely on topic) and will never visit those forums again for that very reason. It seems that some people get so into their passion that they forget that others are still learning and will often "bite their head off" for not knowing something or asking it in the wrong way. I understand seedmama's approach in moving it to the convo side, but I still doubt that will work in the long term simply because you'll always have new people coming to the thread that don't have a full understanding of wintersowing or the true purpose of this forum. There are off topic posts here all the time anyway. It wasn't on topic when I posted the story about drilling a hole in my hand just because I was wintersowing at the time. That had nothing to do with my containers, seeds, etc. - it was just a tragic/funny story to share with my fellow wintersowers. I guess that should have been placed on the convo side too, but do we really want to regulate everything that way? My two cents....Diana

I wouldn't exclude her either. Like gellchom said, consider the 85 yr old father's feelings. It does sound like she's in a depression, or maybe bipolar. There's a big difference in BEING depressed and being IN a depression. Plus the fact that you all know how she's like anyways. So take her "outbursts" with a grain of salt. IMO, just being invited would mean so much to her and the father. If she doesn't show up, then that's her decision. She is FAMILY! There's nothing worst that feeling totally abandoned by your own family, especially when you are not yourself or are in need of family support... even though you won't tell any of them. My BIL is bipolar and in denial, been several years. We've experienced many "outbursts", etc. There came a point where the family didn't want anything to do with him. He got so depressed and "pushed" everyone away from him by getting mad at them or getting them mad at him. It was his way of thinking that when he killed himself, it would be easier for the family if they totally disowned him. Well, it didn't work. My DH called the police with his suspensions of suicide. They showed up just in time! Now, the family makes a point in including him in the family either by dropping in now and then (his house and yard is a total pig sty!), or by calling him. They just "touch" base.

Countertops: Had we been able to add on to our inherited house and build a whole new kitchen, we would have gone with granite for sure, and maybe some butcher block. For some reason we live in granite yard heaven and can see at least 10 granite yards within 40 minutes of our house. I didn't know I'd like it so much until we actually spent time looking. Of course the ones I liked best were not ones I might have put down for counters. Think sunrise pale blue & pink, rainforest in the brown version, etc. I don't much care for the slab out front at Lowe's on special or many I see put in by builders. Quartz: I've seen some installed. My sister has a sparkly midnight blue counter that is spectacular, but I don't think I'd go so dark. My friend has one that looks kind of like the on-special granite at Lowe's. I have a hard time visualizing what a 4 inch sample square would look like as a full counter. Marble: I don't think it qualifies as "low maintenance." On the other hand, it's great for baking. You might just do a piece in your baking area anyway and live with its "patina." Formica/laminate: Don't cross it out just because it's not especially fashionable at the moment. As I've said before, the white laminate countertops that were here when we bought our house 37 years ago are still in place. It's only this past year that I've thought maybe we should change them out. Unless someone is looking with a super-critical eye, they're still next to perfect. Considering their hard use for anything requiring a large flat surface in our house (I recently was doing a carving project there), they're the most cost effective thing going. And they look good. Butcher block: cost effective, looks way cool, practical. If you keep them oiled or sealed or whatever, they should remain sanitary and looking good for a long time. I'm not so sure about around the sink though. If you are serious about it, you should search for discussions and see what people who've done it advise. Are you going to build in the spring and summer? Do I remember that you have a canning kitchen separate from this kitchen area? Those fruit and veggies just keep coming whether you're busy on something else or not! I always struggle with the ollieberries getting ripe just in time for our big Memorial Day camping trip. It's not like they kindly wait a couple of days.