You also know those children never get dirty because it is not allowed. When they become adults most that I know of whose parents insisted on everything being in the toy box etc. when not playing with it almost always rebelled. Having to plan on what toy you are going to play with first because it is the only toy that you can play with at one time is just sad.

With my girls, we have had Lego/ Playmobil or Polly Pocket cities set up for at least a week at a time. In the middle of the living room no less. It took days to build everything and set it up just right. They are grown up now and far as I can tell turned out very well.

Too much HGTV. Don't some people realize that "reality tv" isn't?

Who even knows if those pictures people post are really how the room looks or taken at the best time? I wouldn't dwell on it because after all who knows and there is nothing you can do about it anyway!

I put up Do Not Enter signs until they were grown and left the house. Worked fine for us. They did have to bring out dirty clothes and dirty dishes a couple of times a week.

And to add. I would tell them, if you have ever lost a child, you'll discover how far down the list of importance is a little dirt or mess.

Totally agree. In addition to too much HGTV, I would throw in there that they read too many bloggers and too much Instagram. It seems everyone these days is decorating as if they are preparing to be in a magazine spread or Pottery Barn catalog shoot.

Although I will say I know someone who doesn’t care how the house is decorated as long as it's as neat as a pin and her kids are tidy and clean. They’re not even allowed to get dirty having good clean fun. If we give them sidewalk chalk, it goes into the trash when they get home. They cannot eat popsicles at the Independence Day parade with their cousins because their hands might get sticky. Decorate cookies at Christmas time? Nope, too messy. This is my sister-in-law and it makes me sad for my niece (3) and nephew (4), because we were raised by an artsy/craftsy/baking mom who spent a lot of time making things as well as memories.

Bluebell, that is so sad. I'm a firm believer that "hands on" learning is a necessary part of normal brain development. I hope these kids get to visit you often.

Bluebelle - That is so sad. Hopefully when the kids get older you and other family members can spend some alone time with them to enrich their lives.

DD has a sister-in-law who is not that bad but their little boy is being raised in a comparatively adult centered home. My grands are in a more child centered home and you can really see the difference in their maturity (where it counts), behavior and social skills as well as academic ones.

When my grandchildren were young my husband loved to send them lots of presents for Christmas. The one time that I could go with him at another time of the year I realized there was something wrong. The oldest supposedly loved Barbie dolls. We had sent several but there was only one on display in her bedroom. Found out that the mother sorted through the toys as the child opened them and made her decide which three things that she would be able to keep. The rest went into a trash sack and was set out with the rest of the weekly trash. This was when the child was only about four. She graduated from college this past year and I have no idea if she still does this. The father was from my husband's first marriage. It was very hard to tell my husband to stop sending all of the things he wanted to shower them with. There were other odd things,

When I was a kid, we had a neighbor and her home was always spotless; nothing was ever out of place. She had two little girls. After breakfast, they had to go outside to play and were not allowed back inside until dinner time. After dinner they had their bath and changed into jammies. They were allowed an hour of reading or tv and then they were put to bed. The only time they were allowed in during the day was to use the bathroom. They ate their lunch and snacks on the porch and used the hose if they were thirsty.

As they got older they turned into difficult, rebellious teenagers and as adults had nothing to do with their mother. She used to call my mom from time to time crying about how she didnt understand why they had cut her out of their lives and wondering why she wasn't allowed to see her grandchildren.

In our first house our next door neighbor was like that. The mom always looked like she was dressed to go to a country club no matter the time of day. The son was a strange little dude. The kid was only 4, but if he was outside and got his pants dirty he would cry until he had a clean pair put on. He would straighten out the rug after he wiped his feet. Heck my kids weren't even aware we had a rug to wipe feet. Found out as he grew up he was under ongoing psychiatry care.

Wasn't it Erma Bombeck who said, "There'll be time to clean the house when the kids leave for college"? I don't recall who said it, but I think it's a great saying. Words to live by.

Erma Bombeck! I had some of the books back in Germany, loved them even more when I came to the US and got the other ones in English.

I will take a pic of Kali's room later and post. A kid definitely lives in there!

Maifleur, that is just hideous! I've never heard of anything so cruel. I could understand perhaps keeping the accumulation down by getting the child to go through his/her older toys and cull them with a view to donating the unwanted ones for charity, but not getting to keep your Christmas presents?

I have heard of other people like her but at the time I thought it was just her. My stepson is just as flaky as she was. They are divorced now but not until the children were entering their teens. Not on topic so will shut up.

I've seen houses like this. Some parents do their own cleaning and are simply so anal they can't handle anything being messy. The families don't have pets because pets are messy. They have the children who can't be kids so they go over to other people's houses and mess it up.

Other people have house cleaners who come over at least one or two times a week.

I said in another thread that disorganization in my house emotionally bothers me...lego building and other toys being used are not what I consider disorganization. My boys have a fairly large board set up on the family room floor for legos...its a work in progress. .I just slide it out of my way when I'm cleaning. Card table often has a board game set up on it.. life interrupted game. Always books sitting somewhere. The boys get plenty dirty with outdoor play that's why they shower. Craft stuff is usually confined to the dining room table that I cover with old sheets and will remain there until the project is done than the boys and I will clean it up and put everything where it belongs. Baking cookies and other yummys is fine..of course I supervise and we all clean up. Bedrooms are clean...even organized...sometimes...the boys know when they are done with something to put it back where it belongs. I'm an old lady I don't need to walk on a truck besides picking up after yourself is a skill to many kids arnt taught.

Dirty laundry, towels, ect have a place..the boys never leave them on the floor. They carry their dishes from the table to the kitchen and drop their napkin in the wicker hamper in laundry room. They do wipe their feet before entering the house and even remove them on the patio if they are muddy.

I read this thread and went in to the boys room looking around, studying. ..several books on Tims night stand, matchbox cars lined up and color coded under Chips bed just out of reach of my feet. football under Chips pillow (I have no idea why) LOL, backpacks opened with papers falling out under the desks, down comforters half on half off the beds, the beds match the dressers don't, the duvet covers don't match nor are they coordinating, but they do their job of protecting the comforters. No picture perfect room in this house, but its clean, comfortable and happy.

I don't think I'm raising the boys to be overly messy or OCD about picture perfect. ..but if I am..Oh well they are happy, well adjusted boys.

Then whatever you are doing, you are doing it right mampinkyO. Happy and well adjusted is what we strive for.

"Don't play with toys" begs the question what do they do with their time? My guess is what they do has to do with spending a lot of screen time. I got similar vibes when I watched Sara Richards designing her "family" home. Kids were not going to acclimate to the environments she was creating!! Kids need real life manipulatives, creative time, books, imagination-sparking, ACTIVITY!! Without these learning will be stifled. IMHO engaged parents of healthy active kiddos don't have the energy or time to decorate--like the cleaning, there will be time for that later!!! I so agree with Terilyn, TOO MUCH isn't much better. The Christmas gifts---makes me ill cast offs weren't donated!! I had many toys put away and we rotated. "New" does spark interest. Kids get bored easily. TOO MUCH is paralyzing for them too. The work of parenthood does not leave time for matchy matchy, for most.

Kali's room looks like she organized it. Her bed is made. All her stuff has a place.

I belong to two "clutter free" groups to help me get on the ball with my own home. I agree that childrens bedrooms should have organization. I had a spotless room growing up. My toys were always in a cardboard box in the closet. I could empty that box and make a disaster of my bedroom, but it all had to be cleaned up and put away before I went to bed. Everything had a place and there was a place for everything. I was more lenient with my own kids. You could rarely ever see their floor and I gave up yelling at them. I just closed the door. They're all adults now and they all suck at cleaning and keeping things in their place. There is no win-win situation. I grew up in a spotless house. I'm a slob. My kids grew up in a cluttered house. They're slobs.

I don't take what people post too seriously. I don't think it's necessarily a reflection of everyday life, but maybe photos taken after redecorating when everything is still perfect. Of course people who post photos of their home on sites like that are going to make it perfect for the picture, but there's no way to know what it looks like a week later.

I grew up in a fairly neat but not perfect home and I am definitely not neat. I don't pick up after myself well and it truly doesn't bother me to be around mess. By mess I mean clutter, not filth. I do draw a line there! I think childhood habits can have a small impact on adulthood habits but I believe some people are just messier than others by design, regardless of upbringing.

My children always had attractive rooms but they were most definitely not "decorated". And they actually did live in and play in those rooms. Two of my grandchildren have had a similar room (they share a huge room), and "decorated" would not describe it, although it has nice custom roman blinds (that are now 18 yrs old!), dust ruffles, nice quilts and nice sheets. But my daughter and I did this together. The rug has been replaced once - always a remnant that we had bound. They boys love their room and at one time, shared it with millions of pieces of Lego (yes, I said millions - they were given the large collection of their babysitter's brother and had their own as well - they filled two huge rolling drawer units). When the cleaning woman came weekly, the Lego had to be picked up so she could vacuum in there.

My other two grandchildren have VERY decorated bedrooms - their nursery had Stark carpet on the floors (you don't even want to know how awful it looked very quickly). They have never done anything but sleep in those rooms. Their toys were in a playroom, but they rarely played with them. They had a nanny for the first few years, and part of her job was to "entertain" them; at nearly 13 and 14, they still need to be "entertained" - they truly do not know how to entertain themselves other than with electronic devices. My DS has tried, but he has been divorced long enough that only seeing them weekly for dinner and every other weekend (typical child visitation in CT), he can only do so much.

I find that today very few children know how to entertain themselves. They have either had a caregiver who did this, or their mother quickly turned them over to the "electronic nanny" to keep them out of her hair. It's very, very sad. I'm very proud that DD and her husband allowed their children opportunities for "free range playing". At nearly 16 and 18, it has served them very, very well.

I think you're making assumptions without knowing the whole story on the appearance of the rooms. I've actually known children that enjoyed and thought it was play to pick up their rooms.

I didn't grow up with the massive amounts of toys that many adults assume children want. Fewer toys made the ones I had special and not just thrown in a corner. Gotta laugh, the above photos my mom would have labeled "pig-stye".

Wow, your mom must have been a neat-as-a-pin type person, Raye. If my kid's rooms had looked like that I'd have been pleased as punch! The bed is even made up.

I'm not a naturally neat person and had a heck of a time keeping the house a little presentable when my kids were around. The youngest left stuff in her wake, constantly. I do appreciate organization but don't care to live in an overly organized home. Friend across the street thrives on organization and neatness, but as her kids get older (and she gets older!) that's not happening so easily as it used to in her home.

My children were required to make their beds before coming down for breakfast - I did not provide "maid service" for them. Toys kept in the bedroom had to be picked up each night; in the playroom, they did not. Clothes were to be put either back in the chest if they could be worn again, or down the clothes chute. I don't do well in chaos and as I said, I was not the live-in maid. They managed just fine. But at no time were their rooms "designer perfection".

Just as an addendum: As elementary age children my three were to make their beds and pick up bedrooms every day. Clothes where they belong--not flopped ole place. As teens I back off a tish on how straightened their rooms had to be but they had to vacuum once a week so floors were clear for the most part. Now as young adults--the carryover for one of the three is not what I had hoped. How once lives when the dust is visible across the room and the rug appears crawling is beyond me. The other two don't necessarily make their beds each day but one can stand to be in their apartments. Actually, the other two are rather neat freaks. Not sure the purpose a parent has for clean bedrooms..but if it is carry over into adulthood, just know there are no guarantees!!

Cleaning your bedroom, if the child has to be prompted and not all do is a life lesson. That teaches the child that there are things in life that are necessary even though they don't enjoy them. I learned to fold laundry at a young age because I enjoyed doing it. It's not fun now but it still must be done.

The other thought I had has somewhat been addresses above. These children may have all their toys in a playroom or they may be children of divorce that rarely use their rooms.

My mother was typical in her cleaning and organization habits. From her I learned long ago that one hour a day of cleaning is more effective than spending all day once a week cleaning.

When my daughters were teenagers they knew how to clean a room. But--they were also teens! We had a rule that whatever untidiness developed during the week I ignored it, BUT rooms had to be thoroughly cleaned on weekends. Worked for us!