I try to accept some weight gain as part of aging (64), however I know in my heart that I am not working out as often as I used to and that I am eating more than I need. When I retire in June I will devote more time to myself. It's hard to do that when working 5 days a week and bringing work home. I know a more disciplined person would not use that as an excuse, but I'm sticking to it as mine!

OMG, it is a struggle. I suppose if I were exercising and eating properly and the weight still crept on due to age, I would be able to accept it. But since I am up 15 pounds because I have allowed myself to not exercise and eat too much, I am not fine with it.

My excuse is that I am not at home and in an uber-stressful period of my life (of course how it helps with stress to allow yourself to gain weight which makes you unhappy with yourself is a bit of a quandary for any rational person :-(

Do you truly accept your body shape and size

I could except it if my body wasn't so argumentative and downright disagreeable. First of all it gets tired so easy and second it has the habit of attacking its self and or becoming painful or inflamed. I kinda look at it like having a roommate that I like sometime and sometimes not. The roomie doesn't see me as perfect either and completely disagrees with the amount and types of food I put in by grumbling and exploding or puffing out with attitude.

The older I get the more division there is. There is "me" and there is "the body". Sometimes I look in the mirror and do not recognize that older body. This wasn't supposed to happen to "me".

Keeping the two in harmony is all a great balance of just the right amount of exercise and eating in a way that doesn't suck all enjoyment out of life.

I do think I would look better at least ten pounds lighter, so, the answer is no, not truly happy. But, I'll keep plugging on...

Its better than the alternative_ _ _

Do you truly accept your body shape and size - in a word, no. I'm also struggling with age related weight gain, pity party weight gain, too much time on my hands weight gain, when all else fails, cookies weight gain - you get the drift. Beating myself up is one of my specialties ;-) Seriously, I really try to focus on the upside - I'm healthy, all my parts work, I'm not dealing with injuries, not on any meds so not dealing with side effects...... all good stuff, right? But I don't like the way I look anymore, don't like the way clothes fit. I feel thick, not fit, jiggly, not firm. I could absolutely stand to lose 20#, 25/30# if I wanted to be really thin but last time I was there I didn't feel healthy. Our move to a new state meant giving up a spectacular fitness center and classes that I've yet to come close to replacing - 2 cardio classes/week is not cutting it here. It also meant giving up my walk-to every location and my walking friends which I've also yet to replace here. See? Pity party. Now where are those cookies......

No. Few people (women?) are. Roarah, that is a great mantra. I need to try that.

I'm okay with my size and shape - my size is good but my shape ends above my right knee so not the usual two legged shape. It's my aging body that I haven't quite come to accept yet.

I took medication for four years that caused me to gain weight because of its appetite stimulant side effect. No amount of exercise or logging of my intake could stop the weight gain and I was obsessed with doing both in an effort to control it. After I gained ten pounds and most of my clothes didn't fit I wondered if I would have to accept that this was inevitable (and just buy some bigger clothes). Fortunately I was able to quit taking the medication and lost the weight. Now I have the smallest appetite I've ever had and for the first time in my life don't have to constantly fight the battle of weight gain. I'm not under the illusion this won't change at some point.

I think you have to be happy. If a constant battle with weight ruins each day you have to deal with it, then I think I would try to accept myself and enjoy life.

More and more at least part of the medical community seems to be seeing most of the now far too common banes (dementia, diabetes, heart disease and so on) as very often resulting from what people are eating. Including problems long associated instead with aging, as though inevitable. With it now being thought instead by aging specialists that falling apart as we grow old is not the natural condition - so much of it, again, being due rather to crap eating habits.

Meanwhile Big Food continues to push garbage foods everywhere and all the time, including ones often specifically crafted to cause snacking. And cooking shows - even on the same PBS stations that carry all of the doctor segments promoting modern thinking about personal health, including what we are talking about here - continue to feature comfort foods that nobody should eat much of.

Saw this one at Cost Co this week, bought a copy.

The vast majority of premature deaths can be prevented through simple changes in diet and lifestyle. In How Not to Die, Dr. Michael Greger, the internationally-recognized lecturer, physician, and founder of NutritionFacts.org, examines the fifteen top causes of death in America—heart disease, various cancers, diabetes, Parkinson’s, high blood pressure, and more—and explains how nutritional and lifestyle interventions can sometimes trump prescription pills and other pharmaceutical and surgical approaches, freeing us to live healthier lives.

https://nutritionfacts.org/book/

I try, but I'm up and down with -- "I'm okay" to "What happened?" I tend to go by how my clothes fit, rather than the scales.

I have to have a thyroid ultrasound every year due to a lump that was biopsied four years ago (benign then), but has to continue to be watched because it's still there.

Last year, my endocrinologist told me that, with my metabolism, if I sat in a chair and did nothing, I'd burn 1300 calories a day. If I ate 1400 calories -- yes, only 100 more per day -- I'd easily gain weight. It's a fine margin at my age (64).

I am not sure I agree with your endocrinologist. If you do some weight exercises (free weights or machines) you can build muscle, which increases the metabolism. There's a good book, Strong Women Stay Young. That is why I am convinced that more gym workouts will be something I will resume when I retire in June.

Yes. I like it when I'm slimmer but don't really stress about it too much. Recently retired, I am able to fit more exercise in my schedule and have been doing so. LIke bonnie suggested, being really busy with work was probably an excuse to not prioritize exercise, but I'm also finding it was a valid excuse now that I am better able to control my schedule. As a former gymnast, I have retained a fair amount of muscle tone despite my slacker ways. Health and happiness are the primary goals now at 62!

When I read the title of the post I thought it was about things you can't change, like height, general shape, broad/not broad shoulders, hand size, etc., not weight, fitness or things within our control. Not sure what that means, just making an observation, but we, as women, do keep a handy inventory of our perceived flaws. My bemoaning of my body type doesn't include weight, I'm tall and slender like my dad and his entire family, but I have no butt, chicken legs, no hips, barrel chest (without the boobs to match), a thick waist, broadish shoulders and huge, manly hands. And I can't change a damn thing about those, so I don't think about it, well, except when I try to buy dress pants, my hip/waist/butt proportions are not made for women's pants, so I mostly wear skirts when dressed up, or pull on ankle pants, they have been a savoir for me, when the style was high waisted and pleated, ugh, I could never find a thing that fit properly.

Do I accept it? Absolutely not - at least not currently.......I am about to be 65, got my Medicare card yesterday :( I was a "Twiggy" in my youth and now am still may be "slender" but prefer to be 10 pounds less than I currently am......I have a body that is quite unlike all the female relatives in my family and unless less I am totally toned up and thin, I have a lot of excess in the torso and not in proportion. The women in my family are very short and very round and no one else exercises. I never get "round" - at 5'7" with small bones, short body with very long legs, I get "dumpy" with a few extra pounds - I hate it. But I do build muscle with serious workouts, particularly barre and ballet.......and am getting back. Had an ankle injury a couple of years ago and surgery last March. I go to classes and work out a lot but still eat a bit too much - who said there are no "special events"?!? I have an enormous fear of all the infirmities that come with inactivity......and I see in all my family members.....I am the middle of 3 sisters and my mother, though an only child, had many aunts. Anyone remember the fitness thread? the one with the Hula Hooper? she was inspiring........bought one, still not good at it, lol.

I did....last month.....for about 10 seconds, and it was wonderful!

My personal ideal weight is always, always, always a struggle. But, I was looking at vacations picture of a few years ago and am glad I don't look that way now.

As we age, we shrink. I know I have lost an inch. For a short person, this is a lot. This means that weight that I could pull off at 5'2'' I can't at 5'1''.

Medical conditions aside, for most of us, if we are truthful and diligent and really count the calories, we can lose weight. Being diligent, we can try to keep our weight within a certain range.

Sigh. Sometimes it feels like a part-time job. I am a lifetime WW member and I think the pep talk keep me on the straight and narrow.

For me, it is always the calories I take in. Exercise is for stamina, and muscle tone, not for weight loss. I can walk miles with the dog, take a weight lifting class, go on the stair machine and climb 30 flights in one day, and still get on the scale and see that my weight has gone up. You have to know yourself.

Noooo. I feel like I’ve been on a diet for 20 years :(

^^^ Only 20 years? I've been on a diet for about 65! I think being fat shamed as a child leaves such an imprint that is difficult, if not impossible to overcome. I honestly don't really care about what anyone else thinks now (and haven't for about 30 years) but I still have nagging voice that being fat (cottage cheese thighs, wattle, etc. is just not ok). I don't judge other women about anything like that, but I am hard on myself sometimes.

However, after most of a lifetime of avoiding swimming suits and missing out on swimming (which I love), I decided that I just don't care what others think, that I love swimming more than I hate my thighs! So I go to the pool now, any pool and swim as if I love how I look in a bathing suit. I don't, but I do it anyway and honestly it's changed my life.

No, it is a constant struggle. I'm small on the top, larger in the hips, and now menopausal weight gain has settled on my once-flat belly. In order to look good in clothes I have to stay slender to "balance" out my lower half with the small upper! Yet that's where the weight gain has happened. I've also found my cravings for sweets, etc are worse now. Trying my best to limit carbs and increase protein and good fats. It helps quite a bit, but then I have days when I just want to eat everything in sight. Last year I was 20 lbs overweight; now I'm down 10 lbs but that last 10 lbs is so stubborn! These long, cold, dark winter don't help at all.

I don't know. I guess there's a difference between accepting it for what it is and trying to change it for the better. I think I do both. I have a harder time accepting the signs of aging though more than my size. Maybe because I have more control over the latter...but then again, the latter affects the former. My goal is to age healthfully. But it's a never-ending battle to remind myself of that.

Re weight gain, if you eat 50 calories a day more than you burn, you will gain 5 lbs. in a year and then level off. 100 calories a day = 10 lbs and so on. So to lose 5 lbs, it means cutting only 50 calories a day, but you have to be consistent with it, but it's doable.

In general, yes. This last year, no. I have always been lean, and super active. I work in lawn care, and am a runner. Last year, I had an injury that kept me pretty sedentary for several months. That, combined with some menopausal weight gain, had my clothes fitting really tight. I rarely weigh myself, but when my jeans get tight, I get worried.

I healed, and started running again in November. The few extra pounds are coming off, although I still feel lumpy. Hopefully a season of pushing lawnmowers in NC summer heat will take care of that.

My Dad died from a rare auto-immune disease that causes muscle wasting. He was diagnosed too late to do much about it, but they said that muscle building exercise is the best defense. I don't know if there is a genetic component, but I intend to fight it off as long as I can.

I had a very rough time due to hypothyroid and peri-menopause/menopause combined with job stress and I gained weight--a lot of it in my midsection, that has been very stubborn. I've lost about 10 lbs. but I really need to lose about 25 more. I don't see myself being at a really low weight again but I can be much better than what I am now. But the reality is the health effects of the excess weight are very real, and I read this every day. I go to the Y, etc., use a Fitbit, have a treadmill workstation at home, but even I need to do more. My sister has gone back to Weight Watchers, and I am also a LT member, but I have no desire to do their program again and I definitely don't want to go to meetings to weigh in. DH and I did well when we tracked on the LoseIt app.

I totally understand why people undergo cosmetic or weight loss procedures.

"Recently retired, I am able to fit more exercise in my schedule and have been doing so. LIke bonnie suggested, being really busy with work was probably an excuse to not prioritize exercise, but I'm also finding it was a valid excuse now that I am better able to control my schedule. "

That's where I am-and the answer to the question posed in this topic is no I'm not happy with my body now. I have never had to worry about weight gain and that gave me an false sense of confidence that slim=fit/healthy. At 60 I"m realizing that is most definitely Not True.

I know I have to make time for fitness and one simple easy option is walking more which is embarrassingly easy for me since I live 1/2 mile from work, and it's the nicest weather of the year here in subtropical South Florida! Instead of riding my bike in, I need to lace up those shoes and power in every morning, then go for a walk the last half of lunch break etc....at least to get started. I eagerly anticipate retirement giving me time to make *me* my ongoing project rather than the job I get paid to do every day right now.

No

I’ve always been heavy and likely always will be. I have the advantage of not having a “slim” heyday so came to accept my body shape long ago. In fact things are getting better now that everyone else is joining me in middle aged paunch! That said, I wish I had a better relationship with exercise then be hate/hate one I do now. I would love to be fitter without putting the work in as I find it tedious and torturous. I do enjoy my body more in those periods of time when I am more fit. That said, from the outside you would not know my fittest from my worst as I don’t fluctuate very much in size.

I really enjoyed my body in pregnancy. I was a glower and felt fulfilled, enjoyed the changes.

JTL, yes. I have that model, too. Sure wish I could trade up to a model that didn't attack itself. ugh. Gotta laugh!

Thank you everyone for your candor! I appreciate you're honest words.

It is difficult isn't it? Balancing your true body with your perception.

I don't mentally beat myself up often but I do caution myself. I didn't have many verbal assaults towards me from other people as I was slim throughout most of my youth and young adulthood and only gained the weight when the migraines caused their damage. I was too sick to care what size or shape or us when a migraine attacks were main stage in my life!

I am hearing everyone on weight lifting. I have not done enough of that. However I have always had to watch what I eat and I don't eat most processed foods. In fact my diet is excellent because I react too strongly to everything. My problem is my blood sugar causes me to become dizzy if I don't eat frequently and often with some kind of healthy fat.

The only thing that I can do is exercise more than the calories I put in. I managed to do that with the work I do.

I'm not sure if age affects me but I'm 60 now and I live farther away from where I work. That combination had me rearrange my schedule so that instead of driving into town for 45 minutes and 45 minutes back every day I now go into town for 3 8 to 14 hour days. Although at home here I clean house and walk my dogs it is not the same as running around after kids and walking dogs and cleaning house and gardening everyday. The frustrating part is I still have to eat exactly the same no matter my exercise level!

As said I very much appreciate your open mindedness to this conversation. I would like to stay healthy and have really enjoyed my body without the excess weight. My fat cells don't always appreciate my efforts though. They think they are doing their job in sucking up future life saving fat. I've got to give them credit they do a good job. :/. Thanks again:-)

I'm 68 and very happy with my body shape, size and overall appearance. I'm fortunate to be in good health and to have the time and desire to devote to fitness. I also benefit from "intermittent fasting" which keeps my weight in check as well as other health benefits.

Yes, for the most part. I will turn 70 in about 6 months and am very grateful for my health and well being. My skin looks great, my hair is only partly gray, I am in good physical shape. I have gained about 5 lbs due to plantar fasciitis flare ups since I retired. I was really looking forward to getting back some long running miles, but haven’t been able to put in the miles I had hoped for due to that. I always put on a few In the winter but have been disappointed in the creep this year. I have been walking a lot with my neighbors which I really enjoy, plus devoting time to volunteer activities. I need to amp up some other activities like my weight routine and get moving more.

Yes, because it is the size that I am today. I can't change what I was yesterday, and I can only do things to perhaps change the way it is tomorrow. But, I am what I am today, and that's all that I can handle.

Outside, have you tried something like Spinning? I have been doing Spin for 20 years, though, again, you would not know it to look at me! But it has kept my heart healthy and legs strong. Only downside is that I don't ride outside as much, but there is a new greenway opening near my home later this year. And our campus is likely getting a bike share.

I'm going to start putting swimming into my rotation soon. I don't have a heater but the water is nearly bearable. That always kicks things up a notch for me. I have been doing alternate days of 30 to 40 minutes Pilates and weight lifting. I'm also using light ankle weights with my little portable bike peddle thingy. I do a 9 to 11 mile bike ride once a week. I'll probably mix it up with a dreaded day or two at the gym.

Since menopause my belly just doesn't seem to make any drastic changes for the better. I'm also doing around 50 rolls with my abb roller which I need to increase.

Sheesh, sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it.

ETA: I just did 90 with my abb roller by breaking it up into six sets of fifteen.

I can do this I can do this I can do this!

I have more or less been the same my whole life and at its best my body still had areas I disliked and couldn't change so now, I don't care. I still take care of myself but I don't worry or stress about it.

I don't think my body represents who I am. So freeing.

I struggle with my weight, started low carb again a while back hopefully to remain a lifestyle not a 'diet'. To me it is worth the struggle because of how much better I feel when I lose weight and exercise regularly. There are exercises like resistance bands, bicycling, and even walking that don't seem like exercise, they are fun to do.

I didn’t want to insert my standard “no”, which is the truth. Then I could bitch about my thyroid, which seems to think I shouldn’t eat more than 900 calories + exercise to loose weight, which is true.

So I’ll say that the good news is that when I gain weight, I gain it all over and now that my middle has grown, I don’t have as pronounced a pear shape.

But my favorite clothes don’t zip right now. That makes me sad.

yes..when I'm dressed lol. I keep a pretty steady weight (which is about 110 pounds..plus minus 2 is ok..when I'm very stressed I don't eat and start loosing more, and it doesn't look pretty..if I, say, am very happy..which happens less often..the clothes start fitting differently, and I'm not into buying new clothes)

but I can't exercize, i loose my muscle bulk, I've no control over it, and it frustrates me tremendously. I exercized until I could. It's been 4 years since then. Maybe more. And I did really basic stuff..

so at this point, I just dream of feeling better, being able to do this very basic stuff again.

I'm thinking of light procedures like Exilis but I somehow have that feeling that it'll just burn my skin. And I'll spend couple grands for nothing.

And heavy procedures-they'll laugh in my face, and they'll be right.

I can't eat lots of stuff (gluten, lots of milk products, some vegetables, some oils..almost all chocolates..fruits, unfortunately..I could and loved them but now I can't)..but I still eat lots of yummy stuff:) Again, when I'm not stressed.

In short my struggle is more with how I can't function per my age. And of course the change comes more drastically than if I could exercize and all you know. I always looked very young, and I'm kinda used to that, and it would be easier if the ageing would come at a normal pace. I still look young enough I suppose-but it's not real. It doesn't correspond. And to be frank it's humiliating and I feel very ashamed. I understand it's not my fault, yet I still am.

Thank you for this thread, I'm kinda not telling it to people, usually...

April, I had to look up Exilis, I want that lol. Why can't you exercise? What's wrong? Tell aunt Terri ( if you don't want to that's okay). Hope you feel better.

Yes. I am petite and a very active runner. I have maintained the same weight as I was in middle school. It's just distributed differently and I am in far better shape than I was then, and I am in my mid 40's! That being said, I realize this takes a lot of self motivation, discipline and time.

Thank you justerrilynn:) Sounds neat, right? My DH is almost on board..I begged him and bugged him for several years already, since I've heard of that Exilis, but he thinks I'm just mad (and I think he needs glasses). I don't know though whether worth it. If it's imaginary difference I'm fine with it btw:) Illusions are healthy to have sometimes. I just don't want to get burned or to make things worse, so it's a bit intimidating.

(it's TMI..some rare neurological blahblah. I had no idea it existed until they were able to diagnoze me. I'm sorry even talking about that. But it's been years, and I slowly get more infuriated lol, especially as there are many people I love that go though quite bad things, different but bad you know. And I need to be strong for their sake, I want to be of some use, at least to them if not to humanity. so I think it's getting more and more..bad timing))

April, I'm not sure what TMI is, maybe Transverse Myelitis? Anyway, I'm am very sorry someone as sweet as you should experience any neurological problems. The "N" word scares the daylights out of me. It is very common in the women of my family in one form or another, it's a rare thing not to develop some sort of a neurological disease at some point if female. This is not to say all the males in my family are exempt, they are not but the stats aren't as high. My leg muscles are always sore and I'm always tired so I get paranoid because my mom had ALS. I'm going to try and stay strong regardless of all my other ailments with the hope I don't get something with terminal in the definition.

no no..TMI is Too Much Information))

you're very kind thank you so much

yes, please, you stay strong and healthy. who knows how this puzzle works. all we know it's a puzzle. they research it all..takes time. well. at least they know more of what to research..already a huge thing

my DD's very excited right now to work with cholera strains(I am, somehow, less excited lol)...I don't quite understand it, but apparently, when there's certain amount of these cholera..bakteria, or what are these..they start to "communicate"... and group together..

so many worlds we know so little of

Thank you! So much support and food for thought here. So appreciated. We all struggle in our own ways towards one type or another of self-acceptance. I wish our bodies would behave as our heads and minds dictated but our illnesses and ages sometimes are in control...

I don't think I accept anything, in any sphere. I think everything could be at least a smidge better.

That said, I try to like myself and appreciate what I do have.

First off, congratulations on the weight loss and maintenance success.

I think that sometimes people become overly focussed on a very narrow definition of success. The perfect being the enemy of the good.

Rather than having a scale dictate your ideal weight, why not have decide on what you think an ideal lifestyle is, and try to accept the resulting weight. Maybe that means that 5x a week of exercise is not ideal to you, and you would be happier overall with 3x even if it means you are 5lb heavier?

My main point is, find your healthy lifestyle that is sustainable and enjoyable for you. And then try to accept the outcome.