Feeling sad today...
Annie Deighnaugh
6 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (59)
Related Discussions
Kind of sad today
Comments (18)Thanks for all the encouragement and letting me know its ok to feel the way I feel. I don't need a new relationship to be complete, I have lived by myself in the past for many years without someone I know I can do. This relationship just happend. I prayed alot about finding love and it just kind of fell into my lap. I did fight against it for awhile even when I moved in, I still had a bit of a wall up and I did have somewhere else to go. But I opened up my heart and it was the best thing I could have done for myself.. I am moving forward in my life. I will be back in school in Jan (took a semester off) I have 3 classes left (2 semesters) before I will graduate and hopefully get my RN. So even though I went through so much in the last year, I maintained my strength and went on with my life, even though there were many nights I layed there and cried. I have to be strong, noone can be strong for me.. The world will not stop because I am sad or hurt, that is what got me through. I knew that if I didn't take care of myself, whatever happend would be my fault. I can't lay there and let someone else take care of me,I had to do my own thing.. Currently BF and I do maintain seperated money accounts and bills, I pay my own bils, car payment etc, he pays the household bills and his own bills, If either of us is stuck and need money or help with bills, we have each other. I buy groceries and we both treat each other out to dinner, so even though we are together in a strong relationship, we both have our own independance.. One thing this relationship has that I never had before in the last one, is my freedom, he does not tell me I can't do something, he doesn't tell me who I can see or where I can go. I dealt with that, I dealt with money control and I was never allowed to drive far by myself.. As soon as I was seperated I was in my car and I drove all over the place, I drove to downtown atlanta alone, I even Ventured out and I drove all the way to Canada to visit my mom and dad by myself, something I had, was not allowed to attempt. I come and go as I please and so does my bf, but then thing is, because there is no control, we don't go far alone, because we like to be together.. Have a great day, I am off to work.. Collllllld weather here, not happy lol...See MoreSD13 is a good kid
Comments (11)In a normal situation I would agree FD, but we are not in a normal situation. The BM is disordered, there is no point for FDH in trying to talk with her. The more you engage the worse it will get. You have to understand that the level of manipulation that goes on makes it impossible to have a frank conversation. There is a disorder standing in the way of things. And BM is not going to sit down and honestly discuss the best interest of the kids, if she was interested in that we wouldn't be where we are today. FDH does NOT talk to kids about BM's bad habits, I don't either. We both know that this is not good for the skids, even though sometimes we feel like saying things (boy do we!!) we know it's just better not to. But, if the skids bring up certain issues out of their own accord then we will try and be as honest as we can, focusing on the feelings and perceptions of the skids rather than the negative behavior from BM, we learned this frmo the therapist. This is not always easy, but it works really well. FDH and SD13 did have a long talk yesterday and SD13 did tell him that she feels bad when she leaves her mum alone, and also she thinks it's easier at BM's because it's closer to school. SO it's a mixture of reasons. There have been plenty conflicts in the past, but don't forget they started with BM's poisoning their little minds. An awful thing to do, and clearly not something a mentally stable person would do to their own kids. Think about it. The biggest conflict was last year when the skids started to believe that FDH did not pay for anything (because child support was not 'real' money) and that I wanted to spend everything on myself. We tried to deal with this by talking about it, then we tried to just let the snide remarks go, after all we shouldn't have to defend ourselves. And then one night it just went down the wrong way and I got really angry and yelled at them that they should know better and how dare they accuse us of all this b*llshit. Because I'd never gotten that angry before they got a bit of a shock of course, I did not handle it well. But it wasn't the end of the world either if you know what I mean. Anyway, the skids reacted by secretly calling BM from their rooms and BM calling the cops to come rescue her babies. And if you remember right back: even the police told the kids there was no need to run off just because I got angry before. We've always been able to talk about things, this time should not be different. BM even brought an audience along for her grand finale. She poisons the skids, gets to us (or in that case ME) and once I lost it she got exactly what she wanted. I've learned a lot from that night, and now I know that I just don't want to give her the satisfaction. So if I hear the poison come out of their mouths, I just walk away or keep a smile on my face and say "oh I see". And if you wonder whether I'm just painting the BM black, because surely BM is not that nasty, then think about what she did after she got the kids that night. She went to a Fast Food Outlet first, and then over to a friends' place to have a couple of drinks. SD13 was sick from the stress of the night (migraine/nausea) and was left in the car in the friends' garage to sleep it off. What a way to look after your babies. Actually it's not even that BM always has nasty intentions, again this is the disorder. BM does not see how she affects the skids, I'm sure she doesn't realsie what she's really doing. So no, FDH will not try and talk to BM, there is no point. It is good that SD13 opened up to him though, from what I can gather she feels supported and happy when she's with us, and if she feels like she needs to be with BM more then so be it. It will change back again, we know it will....See MoreI'm feeling really sad
Comments (17)georgysmom - I am so sorry for what you are going through. My thoughts are with you all. We had a particularly rough spring. These sudden deaths, unfortunately aren't just the domain of the middle-aged. DS2, who is 24, had a female friend die of a brain aneurysm this spring. She was newly engaged and my son had gone through a university program with her fiance. Another young friend who was 26, died of a massive heart attack. He decided at the last minute to go home for the weekend to see his parents. He died at the dinner table. And, the 30 year old son of a good friend of mine took his own life. As I said, it's been a rough spring and full of questions of Why? My sympathies to all who experience these unexpected passings of friends and family....See MoreI've lost my sister.....
Comments (72)I am so sorry for the lose of your sister. I know how you feel. I lost my sister five years ago on my youngest daughter's birthday. It does get easier as time goes on. The memories are something you will always have for the rest of your life. I will be praying for you in the coming days and months.. Susie...See MoreAnnie Deighnaugh
6 years agoAnnie Deighnaugh
6 years agoAnnie Deighnaugh
6 years agoAnnie Deighnaugh
6 years agoAnnie Deighnaugh
6 years agoAnnie Deighnaugh
6 years agoAnnie Deighnaugh
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoAnnie Deighnaugh
6 years agoAnnie Deighnaugh
6 years agoAnnie Deighnaugh
6 years ago
Related Stories
DECLUTTERING10 Types of Clutter to Toss Today
Clear the decks and give the heave-ho to these unneeded items
Full StoryDECORATING GUIDESPaper Chase: Wallpaper Through the Ages to Today
Get on a decorating roll with a wall covering that's been around for centuries but comes in more exciting designs than ever
Full StoryLANDSCAPE DESIGNHow Brick Fits Into Today’s Gardens
Natural brick is often considered a traditional building material. Here’s how people are using it in contemporary gardens too
Full StoryKITCHEN DESIGN10 Elements of Today's State-of-the-Art Kitchens
New technology, smart kitchen layouts and the hottest new appliances will make you feel like a Top Chef
Full StoryDECORATING GUIDESHouzz Call: What Home Collections Help You Feel Like a Kid Again?
Whether candy dispensers bring back sweet memories or toys take you back to childhood, we'd like to see your youthful collections
Full StoryPRODUCT PICKSGuest Picks: Beautiful Things You Can Feel Good About Buying
Upcycled, ecofriendly or just made responsibly, these home accessories and furniture pieces will keep your conscience clear
Full StoryARCHITECTUREStyle 101: The Birthplace of Today's Rustic Look
A look back to the beginning of cabin and lodge design can help you decide on a rustic look for your home today
Full StoryFIREPLACESHeat Your Space in Style with Today's Wood-Burning Stoves
Cleaner burning and streamlined, new wood-burning stoves warm up the room
Full StoryREMODELING GUIDESToday's Concrete: Warm and Wonderful
7 Things to Like About Using Concrete in Your Home's Interior
Full StoryDECORATING GUIDESVictorian Bedrooms for Today's Homes
Learn how to incorporate Victorian-era staples, from wardrobes to washstands, into your modern lifestyle
Full StoryZanesville's Most Skilled & Knowledgeable Home Improvement Specialists
rob333 (zone 7b)