Deep purge of my BFF's home

6 years ago

I spent the weekend with my best friend and we cleared out two truck loads of stuff. I was shocked at how eager she was to purge things-she just threw things away with abandon! A lot of stuff she was getting rid of I told her I could sell for her on some auction sites I'm familiar with-she was a beauty products consultant and had a huge box of new plastic containers, labels, organza gift bags...other crafters or people who sell at shows would love to gain that stuff at a bargain.

She had a dozen pieces of never worn LuLaRoe clothing she bought because her daughter hosted a party. That stuff sells like hot cakes.

Dozens of bottles of high end lotions, nail polish, small bottles of perfumes-all unused and never opened.

We literally filled a 33 gallon tub full of just desk supplies. I told her to go thru a hug pile of journals and date books and keep 6. The rest we're donating-there were over 20 that went to the donation site.

We went through her dresser drawers-she couldn't fit clothing in them because they were filled with empty watch boxes or other types of boxes. Cleared the top of her closet of empty boxes (iphone, ipad, all types of small electronics boxes-all empty!) and suddenly she had enough room in the top of her closet to store all her handbags, and even out of season clothing.

She would just put things where ever, in a storage ottoman we found a throw blanket, an umbrella, a large cat toy, paper, paper, paper and I can't even recall what else. In the now emptied space we put a sleeping bag, an inflatable bed and a pillow-for if a grandchild spends the night. She admitted she never thought to do that-she stuffed those things into a coat closet-that was bursting at the seams due to just being disorganized.

I literally went through boxes and boxes and bag of things she'd just throw in there because she didn't know what to do with them. We sorted by category and I had her then go through and do a fast sort of what she knew for a fact she wanted to get rid of-that resulted in 5 giant plastic garbage bags full of purged items.

DH and his employee came over and hauled it all downstairs and helped move her furniture around. We hung some pictures she's wanted to hang for 8 years!

This morning she was walking around with a huge grin on her face-she's beyond thrilled and she told me she feels like a giant weight has been lifted. There is still a lot to sort through and finish organizing/purging, but she can walk thru her place and see clear spaces. She can now walk into the second bedroom-and she LOVES her new desk space in her former dining room.

I ended up coming down with a cold, other wise I think I could have done a lot more, but it's a huge step and to see my best friend happy and relaxed was worth it.

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seagrass_gw Cape Cod

6 years ago

Will you be my BFF??

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Comments (25)

chispa
6 years ago
That sounds great. Glad that she is ready to declutter and organize her life and that you are there to help her get it done.
neetsiepie thanked chispa
nini804
6 years ago
What a great friend you are to help her with that daunting task!
neetsiepie thanked nini804
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Bethpen
6 years ago
YAY Neetsie! Such a gift you've given your friend.
neetsiepie thanked Bethpen
nutsaboutplants
6 years ago
This is the best gift I can think of. I’m going to put it out in the universe, in case one of my BFFs wants to spend time together this way.
neetsiepie thanked nutsaboutplants
just_terrilynn
6 years ago
Neetsie, you are such a good person to love in such an unconditional way! I hope your friend continues on happily and healthfully with her newly decluttered life.
neetsiepie thanked just_terrilynn
cooper8828
6 years ago
You are a wonderful person!
neetsiepie thanked cooper8828
OutsidePlaying
6 years ago
Ditto what justerrilynn said. The fact your BFF had a big grin on her face gives me hope she really wanted this, just didn’t know how to get started without you.
neetsiepie thanked OutsidePlaying
dedtired
6 years ago
It’s wonderful that she was willing to part with so much stuff. Often that’s not the case. You are a good BFF
neetsiepie thanked dedtired
gsciencechick
6 years ago
I'm so happy to hear this is going well. Feel better soon, Neetseepie.
neetsiepie thanked gsciencechick
neetsiepie
Original Author
6 years ago
Gee, thank you all for the kind words! My sweet friend kept saying it was too much to ask of me but I told her it was purely selfish-I want her to be happy and feel up to going out and hanging out with me. Too often she just collapses on her couch and feels so over whelmed. Plus I really, really do love organizing!
mtnrdredux_gw
6 years ago
that is downright inspirational!
blfenton
6 years ago
You are such a good friend and congrats to your friend for jumping in with both feet and taking on this project.
neetsiepie thanked blfenton
amykath
6 years ago
You are a fabulous friend! I have a friend who is similar to yours. Another fried and I have gone in to her house and we did the same thing. Sadly, it went back to how it was originally. I have to admit I am not good at organizing. I need someone to come and help me! lol

Good for you for lifting that weight from her mind and body! Your DH and his employee are so thoughtful as well!

Hope you get over your cold soon.
neetsiepie thanked amykath
robo (z6a)
6 years ago
Sounds like wonderful progress neetsie! I second seagrass, if you have another position open...I need it!
neetsiepie thanked robo (z6a)
Oakley
6 years ago
Neetsie, I'm not at all surprised you did this after "knowing" you for years. Sure wish we lived closer! I bet it's such a relief for your friend not to feel so overwhelmed anymore and hopefully she can really start organizing.

Truth time. Did you bring anything home with you? ;)
neetsiepie thanked Oakley
Yayagal
6 years ago
I'm another who likes to organize, I'm itching to do my granddaughter's bedroom, she asked for help lol.
graywings123
6 years ago
Wow, good for you. It amazes me that the basic organizing concept of keeping like things together is a foreign concept to many people.
LynnNM
6 years ago
OMG, what a great friend you are! How you’re feeling better quickly!
neetsiepie thanked LynnNM
l pinkmountain
6 years ago
I would also encourage your friend to keep going to psychological counseling. Sounds like she has some issues that are contributing, like impulsiveness, not being able to say no, depression, etc. No way could I afford to go out and buy that much stuff. My issue is I accumulate undone projects, like mending, jewelry repair, shoe repair, broken or marginally functioning audio equipment, craft supplies (that one is tough, the minute I throw something out, a craft use for it comes up, and I have saved my own butt a lot of times by having craft project supplies ready to go when I need them for work). But my worst enemy is paperwork!
Allison0704
6 years ago
What a great post! You are such a good friend, and I know she will enjoy her "new" place. Hopefully it will inspire her to keep organized.
neetsiepie thanked Allison0704
3katz4me
6 years ago
What a dear friend you are. I'm sure that was a gratifying experience for you. I think it would be and I would enjoy a project like that if the person was willing to get rid of stuff like your friend is.
runninginplace
6 years ago
This makes me think of one of the phrases I use with my students 'prove me wrong!' I say it when they come up with something I'm sure isn't going to work....and to be honest in your original post I was smugly confident that your organizing help was not going to touch a problem that sounded like a deep psychological issue.

Neetsie you proved me wrong :). What an amazing weekend's worth of work and congratulations on helping someone move past a huge (literally!) obstacle to her happiness.
neetsiepie thanked runninginplace
neetsiepie
Original Author
6 years ago
She emailed me this evening to say how happy she was. I know that this is going to be a work in progress-I can't expect her to change over night, but I think she really felt a lot better when she looked at what we'd accomplished.

Oakley-I only came home with a purse eyeglass cleaning kit! A lot came to my house to be rehomed/donated/sold for her, but I'm just keeping that one thing. LoL.

I think her biggest issue, also, is paperwork. She literally had paper stashed in every corner of her home. I think it overwhelmed her so much that everything just fell off course after that. I had been working with her how to handle paper and it was good to see her follow thru with my instruction. She's a very good pupil-she'll do what she's told. My DD commented that she's the exactly the type of consumer that ad agencies love: the kind who believes what an 'authority' tells them.

She also mentioned to me that she wants to tell her counsellor about what we did and how good that felt for her. She's quite proud of what we accomplished and I really hope we can keep that momentum going.
l pinkmountain
6 years ago
last modified: 6 years ago
If she has the money to spend on endless office supplies, she has the money to pay someone to help her sort paper and file. That's the only way I was able to get ahead of it. It costs, but considering how much faster things go with help, the overall cost would be minimal compared to the benefits of the end result.

As a teacher, I can say that we tend to accumulate paper and other stuff. It's not an unusual situation for an academic to hire someone to assist them with home office tasks on a temporary basis. There are agencies that will help you with this, even perhaps a temp. I have also hired friends who do this kind of thing and on one occasion, a student.

Deep purge of my BFF's home

seagrass_gw Cape Cod

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