We eat all meals in ours, as we don't have room to eat in our kitchen. The kids also do homework at the table sometimes, and it's the cat's favorite place to take a walk (not allowed, but cats are gonna cat). We don't have a ton of dinner guests or parties, but we had 13 for Thanksgiving this year. We put all the leaves in the table and added a card table, and the whole thing had to be turned sideways to fit. It extended into the living room. Not the best "look," but of course no one cared.

A formal dining room is a separate dining room, but the style can be anything from casual to formal. The term “formal” only indicates that the room is a dining space separate from the kitchen. If I could only have one dining space, it would be a designated dining room. I like having my guests eat in a room free of cooking clutter and appliances. I may even close the door between the dining room and the kitchen. This Christmas Eve I had 12 seated in the dining room, eight at a table in the living room and five at a table in the den. Two little boys sat in little chairs at the glass coffee table in the living room. Nobody had to see the kitchen.

My eat-in kitchen seats 5 comfortably. It's just the two of us and we eat most meals there.

I have a formal dining room and can extend the table to 14. We use that also, although not daily like the kitchen table. I can't imagine a kitchen seating as many as I occasionally have in my dining room. So if the question is still which would you rather have, I'd have to say both! I don't want to eat daily in my dining room. There are times when I do need the space. And, my dining room table and chairs once belonged to a woman I admired and cared very much about. When her son offered them to me, I was thrilled and think of her every time I use them.

In my last house I wanted encourage using the dining room so we had only a place for 2 in the kitchen. I did the same thing here, the only reason I did do a kitchen table for two is most of the wildlife is in back. I don't understand counter family dining especially in a row.

Definitely a formal dining room. I had one in my 1902 two story home where we lived for 42 years. When we retired we built a one story ( no stairs for our smaller retirement home) that has an open floor plan, no separate kitchen and dining room. I Miss the separate dining room a lot, especially during holidays with all the kids and Their family over, but that’s only a few times a year and we have plenty of room for everyone around the dining area.

Definitely cannot live without a dining room. It does not have to be very formal (ie conservative looking). I can eat every day in a dining room from breakfast to dinner - but I cannot not entertain 10-15 people for dinner in a kitchen. I am not sure what kind of kitchen could accommodate that many people and why, in such a house, I would not have a dining room.

stillpitpat, you asked me what position in life or conformity had to do with it.

If you have a life or an occupation where you entertain strangers or business associates in your home, you would probably want to have a more formal area that is dedicated to that task. You would be less inclined to entertain a business prospect in your private family space. I could see reserving a part of your home to meet and greet those that are not a part of your private life The same if, maybe, you are an elected politician or the president of a university or any position where you had cause to host those who are not personal friends. You might also have an office place to do business and to meet and greet associates if you were in this position.

As to conformity----some people just do not have the inclination. to break away from tradition and would not want to host any event in their personal space. Many would consider any large and well appointed house to be incomplete without a formal area.

The original post was about an eat in kitchen vs a formal dining room. A separate adjoining dining space does not have to be a formal dining room.

If your life is a more casual one and you feel no need to impress strangers or associates or political contributors or any of the like, a casual dining area may be just what suits you. Or, your idea of inviting someone into your home to share a meal may be one of complete acceptance of inviting them to sit in your kitchen with you, complete with all the kids art work covering the fridge and the cat wandering around and maybe a few unwashed dishes.

Some people have more formal relationships with others and they might feel a need to have a more formal area to greet them.

Personally, I think that a well appointed dining area that serves the needs of the family and can also double duty as a place to invite strangers is the best. The best arrangement, it seems, would be one that has the dining area adjacent to the kitchen that maybe has some doors that can be closed off when desired. You don't have be sitting butt to butt squeezed in between the door of the fridge and the dishwasher.

I have some friends who have a Swedish house (yes, he is Swedish). It is a lovely arrangement with the dining area adjacent to the kitchen with double doors that can be closed off.. It is, otherwise, an open floor plan and the whole house just flows nicely. But, there is no real formal area that is closed off. The whole house just flows one room into another. it is beautiful and quite simple.

My husband's family were one of those immigrant families who, after WWII, moved from he city out to the new suburbs into one of those little bungalows. It was quite small by modern standards and all parts of the house had to be utilized to raise five kids there. Back then it was not uncommon for two or three kids to share a bedroom, and a small one, at that.

The kitchen was tiny and the extended Italian family was large. Having a holiday meal there did mean that people were seated in the tiny kitchen butt to butt, elbow to elbow. The "back door" of the house was right there in the kitchen. When the whole family was crammed in to the table and the pasta and Sunday "gravy" was set on the table, one could not come and go from the door. Neither the oven door, nor the fridge could be opened without someone getting up from their chair and balancing themselves awkwardly until the door closed.

And, there was only one bathroom that was right on the other side of the kitchen wall.

Still, they managed to spend hours and days of quality family time around that tiny kitchen and squeezed around that tiny table.

A friend of mine who grew up in an Italian family in much the same way recently rescued the kitchen table from her grandmother's house and refinished it to place in her own very nice home. It was full of sentimental good times. But, she remembers it as being much bigger! It is really a tiny little table that fit into a tiny little kitchen and they had such big memories around it.

Just a thought. We have such big living spaces now days by comparison. We have so much more of just about everything. We have bigger bodies, bigger closets, bigger pantries, bigger bathrooms, and a whole lot more "stuff" that most did just a few decades ago.

We have so much more and yet many of us spend so much less time in our homes and even less time in them with friends and family. My congratulations to those who continue weekly/monthly extended family meals despite a culture pulling us in so many different busy directions!. Sadly, no family in my circle today does that. My four kids are ages 14 to 8 years. We eat most dinners around our dining table in our dining room - we have a kitchen island that sits four, but no eat in kitchen table. None of my children's friends have regular extended family meals (ie aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents for Sunday dinner). Nor do we. Simply doesn't fit in our overscheduled culture. And then we wonder why we feel so disconnected. My husband and I are trying to purposefully schedule "hospitality" in our calendar: set aside one dinner a month to invite someone over, share a meal, play a game, visit, connect. When we realized such interactions didn't happen naturally in our lives anymore, we decided we needed to be more intentional with it - and make good use of our dining table that can seat 10 people.

Just yesterday I was with my brothers looking at old photos from the 60's on of our parents and extended family around the dining room table on Sundays and holidays. The best times happened around that table and were some of the best memories from our childhood. I will always have a big table whether it is in a kitchen or dining room. All that matters is having the ones that you love around the table with no TV, cell phones or iPads.

dallasannie, the term "formal dining room" simply means a separate dining room. It has nothing to do with who you have in your house or what your social/business expectations are. Or at least it has nothing to do with that where I live (Chicago suburb). All the houses by me are 100 years old and they all have formal dining rooms. My house is not large. It's a 4-square with 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms (the 2nd being in the basement). Kitchen is relatively small. Even so, we have a "formal dining room." It's where we eat. When we did our reno, we had the opportunity and floor plans to tear down the wall and have a "great room," but we decided against it. We like having rooms and walls and doors, especially because we have pets and kids. Those doors come in very handy when one kid is doing homework or the pets aren't getting along or something.

Ha! I was just going to say that we have never hosted anyone notable at our house, but we did have a Hamilton cast member at our table at Thanksgiving, so I guess I can't say that. But we used our dining room for the 19 years before this occasion, and this guest was an exception (friend of my brother, who is a musician).

We had 12or13 for Christmas and ate in the dining room, it was fun and exciting! I used to serve more when all the family was around! So I have changed my mind we eat big meals at the dining room, and the rest of the time in front of the tv!

Stillpitpat, if Chicago is like Pittsburgh your home was considered large for the time. Kitchens were a utility room. You only worked in them, you didn't eat in them. Our last neighborhood half of the homes were built in the 20s. They were considered large homes for the time. They are still a nice size for the average family. They were built for the prominent business men from the steel mill town below. All the kitchens were small and the dining and living room was large for the size of the homes. If lucky you could squeeze in a small table to sit for some of the tedious cooking jobs. Now the steel workers homes had larger eat in kitchens where you could put a table. But the homes were row houses with 2 rooms on the first floor, 2 rooms up stairs and the bathroom in the cellar. Even the mansions kitchens were smaller with a table for the servants to eat.

I've always lived in homes with a separate dining room and we aren't fancy people. I just don't like looking at a dirty kitchen while entertaining friends or family. Our present house (70s) took us 9 months to find. We are now in an area that didn't start building up until the 60s. We had a heck of a time finding a home that wasn't 2 stories that had a seperate dining room. I even took out the table area in the kitchen and added more cabinets and a small island that sits 2. We eat in the dining room or in front of the TV.

Day in, day out an eat in kitchen would due me just fine, BUT if you didn't have the other dining room--where would you eat when you have more than four? That's the issue, for me. I was taught to tidy the kitchen, dishes washed, mess cleaned up before you sit down to eat--must have been by someone who had an eat in kitchen? These days "eat in" does not mean what it did in say my grandmother's home where we often ate lunch at an old metal and enamel table that was also her work surface. These days it means a table in front of sliding glass doors, on a table that could easily accommodate 6 or more, and often there is room to expand it. BUT it sits close to a peninsula that is part of the kitchen. A friend has this set up and they took the space for the "formal dining room" and put a pool table in it. They would never need more space than they have so that makes perfect economy of space sense. For me it isn't about where the kitchen is in relationship to the eating table it is how many can the eating area accommodate. For large family gatherings one is beg borrowing or stealing a spot to sit and the formality of a table is the last issue of concern, in my world. Actually having both is the best of both worlds. The 'kids' table (that this year sat 7 20/30 somethings,) is the kitchen table and the old folks get the formal dining room. Everyone is happy and well served.

For myself an eat in kitchen would suffice but most of our clients, if not all of them, prefer a formal dining room.

When we remodeled, we did a large open kitchen/dining area divided by a bar with 4 seats. We had a table built to seat 10 people, as we enjoy hosting large casual family gatherings. This works much better for us than our previous homes with separate dining rooms.

Seems that people and lifestyles are very different, so if you can choose the option that suits you best, that's definitely the "right" choice.

functionthenlook, in another town, my house may have been "large" when it was built, but I live on the wrong side of the tracks in a town with money and old mansions in Frank Lloyd Wright country, so it was probably pretty average when built. I love old homes though, even with their quirks. I grew up in a much larger house, and living here reminds me that it IS in fact enough room for a family of four.

I wrote on this 2 years ago, but we have since moved so I will update my response. Back then we lived in a more modest 2400 sq ft 1 1/2 story house built in the 1940s. Though per the discussion above it was a little larger than most on the street, and larger than the average house in the city. When it was built it had both an eat in kitchen and a formal dining room, but previous kitchen remodels had filled up the full kitchen with workspace leaving the dining room as the only eating area in the house, and where we had all meals. I didn't mind, but it could sometimes feel to formal, especially when eating alone at a table with six chairs and capacity for 10.

Our new house was definitely once one of the "mansions" of the city when it was built in the 1920s, once lived in by a local business owner, but at 3000+ sq ft it would be right around average in many subdivisions today. Now we have both a formal dining room and a breakfast nook (a distinct room off immediately off the kitchen that once had a door). The breakfast room is 8x9 making it just big enough to fit a round table for 4 using a bench against the wall on one side,. We have all of our meals in there, saving the dining room just for anytime that we have company.

This setup works really well, since we get both the cozy place for a meal for 2-4 and the special room for company. The breakfast room gets wonderful south light and is a nice place to do work or other activities solo as well. If there were anything that we would want different, it would be that this little room had a more direct view into the kitchen, for meal prep socialization, and a connection to the TV room, rather than being off the foyer, but neither of those were part of the 1920s lifestyle.

I live in Chicago and have a 1950s-built 1300 sq ft house, not including the basement. Three small bedrooms and one bathroom upstairs. Small eat-in kitchen, no formal dining room. We're just the two of us but spend a ton of time in the kitchen so I *love* that it's an eat-in, I can carry things to where we eat in a few strides.

The previous owner raised two kids in this home. It's a modest working class neighborhood, some of the older homes are larger with formal dining rooms, but not all. Many people in the area who have similarly small homes to mind also had/have an alternate dining table setup in their basement for hosting a larger gathering. Our house was setup that way when we were first looking at houses, as was our friends' in the neighborhood over. It's not uncommon. People make do with what they have and get creative. Personally we use our small house as an excuse not to host large family gatherings, lol.

Ironically, we had my SIL and BIL and their two kids over once. We have an extension for our table that can fit a tight 6 people, but hadn't put it in since we were just hanging out. One of the kids was standing, and we pulled up a chair or stool from somewhere else so the other 5 of us were seated around our table that fits 4. The conversation somehow turned to my spouse + SIL's parents' house, and them talking about how cramped their parents' kitchen feels. I had to laugh internally since that kitchen is 3 or 4 times the size of ours, with a formal dining room that's now open to the kitchen after a remodel and a big island with plenty of stools... and here they were talking about how much more comfortable our little tiny kitchen was, as we were all relatively smooshed in together! What I learned from that conversation is that perceived comfort is definitely *not* only about the actual size of the space. :)

T, my partner's grandparents have a small 3 bedroom ranch with just an eat-in kitchen and a partially finished basement that they similarly set up for dining during big family gatherings like Easter and Thanksgiving.

The definition I found said..." Formal dining rooms are typically a room of their own, while an informal dining room sometimes shares space with the kitchen or living room. The formal dining area may have a door that closes it off from the kitchen and the rest of the house. "

Since I last posted, I removed the wall between my small kitchen and small, separate dining room. "Family" is just two of us now. I created a peninsula with seating where the wall once stood and there's a small table for four and a buffet in the dining area now open to the kitchen. It's an amazing improvement. At Thanksgiving, we socialized in the kitchen but used the large dining table in the greatroom for the meal, because that has always been what works when the extended family shows up. I must say that I am delighted to have both an eat-in kitchen for every day use and also a big table and spacious dining area where there's plenty of space for guests to circulate. However, if I had the money and the opportunity, I would have one very large farmhouse kitchen with a huge, deep sink to hide the dirty dishes, a small eating bar for two or three and just one large table for a crowd, homework and hobbies. I once saw the kitchen of my dreams in a Southern 4-square. But much to my amazement, it also had a huge dining room exactly the same size. In this case, it is likely the occupants made a distinction between having gramma and their six kids eat in the kitchen and hosting extended family and friends in the dining room for Sunday dinner and special occasions.

If you look at real estate blurbs for new large houses around where I live you will find that they distinguish between the formal dining area and the family area. I used to do some business in the homes of people with big houses and money and they always had a formal dining area that was furnished with quite formal furniture and accessories, maybe had a fancy hanging light of some kind and was rarely ever used. They also had less formal areas where they actually lived and ate.

It seems that the larger distinction is between a formal area or an informal area.

Well, the question I have is, what are buyers looking for? I have a 3700 sqft home, the kitchen, family room and “breakfast room” is open, the dining room is separate, through a doorway off the kitchen. The dining room is open to a very small formal living room, the dining room feels closed in, the 1 window overlooks the pool which is nice but not fancy. The breakfast room has windows on all 3 sides, one side being French doors to the back yard, it has a cathedral ceiling, in my opinion this room is way more stunning than the “formal” dining room. I was thinking of extending the kitchen into the dining room and adding maybe a round table between it and the small “formal” living room. But I don’t want the value of my home to decrease for lack of a formal dining room. Off the formal living room there are French doors to a sun room, with cedar wood ceiling and floor to ceiling windows on 3 sides, if needed that could possibly be a dining room. The kitchen does have an island with 2 chairs and 2 chairs off the counter near the sink. I do Christmas and Thanksgiving with 14 adults at the “breakfast room” table and 2 kids at the counter and 2 kids at the island. We are all in the same room. We would not all fit in the dining room. We never use the formal living and rarely use the formal dining and the grandkids use the sun room as a play room when they’re here. If anyone reads this, I’d love your opinion. Extend the kitchen into the dining and do away with a formal dining room or not? Thanks!

I would almost always cast a vote to eliminate the formal dining room. Or, at least, remove the "formal" from the dining room and just make it a regular dining room. Unless you have some reason to impress others and you think that type of decor is impressive, I can't see where a formal one is of much relevance to our changing values.

Comfy clothes, comfy food and comfy homes is the theme of our new world. Thank goodness!

@Barb are you selling soon (next 3-4 years)? If so a local realtor can best advise you!

If not my advice would be to use your house in the way that best suits your own lifestyle and don’t get hung up on room labels. Use the dining and living rooms together as a more casual space, or expand your kitchen if you need a bigger one, or just leave everything as is if it’s working for you, etc.

I have six children so I like to eat dinner in the formal dining room as many nights a week as possible. I prefer to use my kitchen counter for things like the kids doing homework, kids doing crafts or kids having a snack. As a child, we went to my grandparents house for dinner every Sunday with my aunts, uncles and cousins (Italian family). They lived 5 minutes from us. It was the best.

Unless you have some reason to impress others and you think that type of decor is impressive, I can't see where a formal one is of much relevance to our changing values.

I hope the new comfy everything leaves room for those of us who are more comfortable with formality. I find the comfort-uber-alles -aesthetic a snooze fest.

Barb, a realtor can best advise you if you plan on selling soon. I would consider turning your formal dining room into a library, keeping the table there, maybe painting the room a deep, rich color. This way you keep the room, but open up the space to be more useful since it sounds like your great room works very well.

I dont need a formal dining room, but this is because we have a casual life. I remember my parents having a formal dining room that was rarely used (may be a couple of times a year), but it was normal for them not to receive people (including family) in the kitchen. My great-grand mother had a large kitchen, but not formal living/dining room. This was normal for her time and way of living, and ironically, looked a lot like those open plan kitchen (nothing new under the sun).

But I can totally imagine that people would want a formal dining room. I find all these discussions so futile. Different people live differently.

Build/decorate your home how ever is comfortable and fits your family. If your looking to sell within a few years consult a top selling realtor to advise where best to upgrade to maximize resale value for that area. In the end most new owners will renovate something because everyone has different comfort levels.

I think the word "formal" is a stumbling block in the discussion. Perhaps the word "separate" might be more accurate. "Formal" sort of stirs up images of stiff furnishings with a lot of silver, crystal, ironed linen, etc. I really like a separate dining room, with a door, if possible to bring about a separation between a work space like the kitchen and a relaxing place for imbibing and eating.

Our current home, a mid-century, has a really big dining room that we keep sort of between formal and informal. I normally have a tablecloth on the table and seasonal decor on the table and the other furnishings. As we are now retired and we are both a little fussy this space remains neat and tidy. When we eat there we put place mats on the table cloth making clean up quick and easy. The table cloth only gets changed out about once a month, when I change out the centerpiece and other decor.

The interesting thing (to me, anyway) is that I ALWAYS take my breakfast, lunch, and afternoon tea in the dining room, often alone. I like the peacefulness of the room and the stunning views. Basically, it makes me happy. My husband joins me sometimes, sometimes takes his lunch up to his study. In the evenings we often eat in the dining room but at least as often we take a simple meal into the TV room and watch a movie while we eat our crackers and cheese or sandwiches. We have used the dining room (with additional tables and chairs) for dinner parties of 16 to 20, but anymore I prefer small groups when we entertain. We entertain a lot less than we used to, and not at all since the pandemic began.

I think that, in general, we are less inclined toward the traditional ideas of formality, though I do occasionally enjoy having a few female friends over for a tea in which we indulge ourselves in a simulation of a toned-down Downton Abby repast, sans servants. It is a bit of fun. I think that is the real essence of a modern approach to life: to do what we want, where we want and give ourselves permission to have a bit of fun with our homes and our friends. I want my home to be a place of peace, repose, and enjoyment for both those who live here and those who come to visit. For me, that is easier in rooms whose functions are both fairly well-defined but also flexible.

No need for a dining room in my home. I have room for it, and there was one in my apartment when I bought it, but I've never used it that way. It's my office space.

It is my considered opinion that one should live in and do in their houses what ever suits them.

If that means putting a darned bed in the front/living/family room......do it. What ever makes you happy.

Except for a few major missteps that you could inflict on yourself, I think resell value be dammed. I have been in my house for almost 40 years and have never let that be my first priority.

Make it how you like it.

I, persoanally, love a comfortable, not cluttered and casual life in my house. I have no place in my life for frou-frou or doodle diddles of any sort. I want it all to be as low maintenance as possible. Also, I favor flexibility in the use of rooms and space. I just want simple and easy.

I think that, given the sad and disgraceful state of affairs that we are in, a good number of those formal areas have become offices and ad hoc school rooms, which is probably a good use for them.

"Formal" never. Separate over in kitchen, for sure. I am not a fan of open concept where one has to eat in the cooking mess of a kitchen.

I lean towards formal--I really don't like folks seeing all my pots/pans etc when I am having a dinner party.

I think the word "formal" is a stumbling block in the discussion.

Yes, formal means separate here, not fancy.

I’ve had homes where there was only an eat-in kitchen and another that had only the dining room as an option (small 1920’s kitchen). Now I have a larger eat-in kitchen and a separate dining area. I enjoy leaving the kitchen with visiting friends and family just for the variety. Having two places to eat is a luxury (none is “formal”) and we use both.

Thank you, Alice and Zalco. It has been stated more than once in this thread, but oh well. People are either not reading or they are very attached to their own definition of "formal."

I love the look of formal dining spaces but they are not practical for us. Our formal dining room is our piano wine tasting room but I wish it were bigger to accommodate a lovely formal dining table for four that might double as a place to have a game of mahjong with lady friends or bridge once in a while ....that could be nice.......but not in the time of Covid of course. Large formal dinner parties ......not interested even for holidays ....even if we had family that would visit but we don’t .....they put the D in dysfunctional. Just the two of us now and I could never get my husband to sit at a table to dine unless we go to a restaurant. He likes to be entertained and being confined to an area with his wife to simply enjoy a meal and chat would be too much to ask of him as long as he could be watching television or listening to a podcast. After the first 30 years, there is very little that most men would want to hear even if I was sharing the news that aliens are playing golf in the backyard. He does like having a person in the room to watch him watch his television but if it were just me I might sit at a table with puppy by my feet and turn on lovely soothing music to uplift me I think. But what suits our lifestyle is a great room which we have that has a large island with seating which we don’t use and a small dining area at one end that we don’t use .....but where do we eat? On the sofa reclined watching tv. He can’t hear or pretends he can’t and if I speak he makes up a stupid sentence and repeats it back to shut me up. He doesn’t want to know what I actually said so he has figured out a way to irritate me that gives him complete peace and quiet. I don’t think I would actually tell him if the house was on fire. I would just pick up the dog and let him figure it out on his own. Sometimes I say silly stuff just to confirm that he is not listening and I am entertained by his obvious (he was not listening) comeback. I have considered buying funny masks to wear while I eat to see if he would notice but I am sure he wouldn’t. I am content however.........there is always another poem or story or novel to write......I am very content actually. There is so much noise in the world theses days.......a lot to be said for peace and quiet. I will consider buying some masks......or dressing up like a vampire. One day I asked a waitress dressed up for Halloween to go sit at our table at a restaurant when I went to the restroom and watched from afar........took him a few minutes to figure it out and I had a very fun time.

Our small builder home had a few layout options. We choose to enlarge the living room to be able to fit a dining table (6 - 12 seating) v. a separate dining room. Our kitchen has a table with seats for 4-6. I enjoy both dining areas. But - I wish that I had the twenty-twenty hindsight of living in this space. We swapped the living room and dining furniture to opposite sides of the room. Now our electrical switches and outlets don't compliment the purpose. No big deal - but we don't have a light over the dining table or one switch to light the lamps on the couch end-tables. Also, our heating registers are not in the most optimum spots for our LR furniture. If you are undecided you may want to think of the dining room as a bonus room to serve your current lifestyle and wiring and heating placement for other furniture possibilities down the road.

I have cherished memories of having holiday dinners in a cramped kitchens and in dining rooms with special tableware. I think living experiences with a variety of kitchen/dining layouts really helps to inform ones preferences. I imagine that had lived in a kitchen with an island I may have opted for an island v. a kitchen table when we upgraded last year. But knowing how much I love my kitchen table seating/view and never having known the convenience of an island I stuck with my kitchen table. When we bought this house we thought we would be here for 5 years -not 30+. Not regret but amazement of how the years flew - those early choices didn't feel that consequential.

We would not buy a house which had no separate dining room. We have always had a breakfast room, too. And we have always used both. The breakfast room is for everyday family meals. The dining room is for parties, special occasions and any large gathering. We do have a second house, now, too. It has a dining area adjacent to the kitchen, but it is furnished with a table which extends to seat nine. You can make a dining room seem casual, but can’t make a kitchen island or a breakfast table in the kitchen feel special unless you clean up everything before you serve the meal. When we host Thanksgiving, I set up the buffet on the kitchen island and decorate the dining table for the holiday. We can seat 14 with three leaves in the dining table in the main house. The breakfast table can seat another six.

You can have both! With an open plan you can have a kitchen dining room open wall and have several bar chairs or dining chair height chairs at an island. The two rooms can be open!

We use our separate dining room, also.

It is formal and my grand daughters LOVE that we use the "good plates, grandma". We try to have Sunday Dinners. And they are really learning about conversations, which utensil and why, waiting for your turn to speak, that grandma will fix them anything they want if they don't like what is fixed (!!!), and more.

They are also fascinated with "tea parties" in the "nice room"!! I get out a set of china and we shop for sweets and treats and special things to drink. They have started "dressing up" for the tea parties and I bought them Kentucky Derby hats called fascinators and scarves and sparkly girly dresses!!!

So, I am glad we have our "formal" dining room and I will surely miss it when we downsize.

felizlady.

I know exactly what you mean.

Our dining rooms opens into our living room. We had 20 for Thanksgiving last year. 2 large tables. It was so fun!!

I have enough serving dishes and dinnerware and silver and crystal and table cloths and napkins. I have the table set before everyone comes and I have all the serving pieces labeled for what food and I have the serving silver in the proper pieces. So, when the food is ready, everyone pitches in, fills a serving piece and gets their drink. It works out great!!!

We have 4 children under the age of 5 in the family now, so we have high chairs and booster seats and junior chairs. We have them all at the "big table" for now. Maybe in a few years we will entertain the idea of a children's table.

We bought a camp this year. The table is open to the kitchen. Even though it is just a camp I dislike seeing the kitchen. It doesn't help that there isn't any dishwasher and there is always a dirty glass or bowl on the counter. So I solved that problem. I sit with my back to the kitchen. Lol

We have a 1920's craftsman style home with a closed small kitchen but the dining room is separate but opens up to the living room extending the room out from 13ft to 26ft if necessary. We like the idea of having the separate space as to not be distracted by tv or people sitting in the living room. I personally need more space between my furniture. If I can touch my couch while sitting at the table that would drive me nuts.

These answers are interesting -- I'd rather have my dining room open to my kitchen than open to my living room. It looks like most choose the opposite. Neither wrong nor right, just interesting perspectives.

It all depends on the size of the home and the life style. Eating in a kitchen (I have a large French farm table for 10 and I am German) can be pretty informal. If you are into serious entertaining of clients etc you probably won't be living in my 1900 sq ft beach house to begin with. It all depends on what you are comfortable with. Families vs no children couples or singles. Honestly, I love sitting at a beautiful table together regardless where. Balancing plates on my knees because of no table seating available isn't for me unless some casual BBQ etc affair.

For me, it’s less about the location than the number of people it can accommodate. I want to be able to host 8-10 people for a sit-down dinner. Most eat-in kitchens are far too small for that, so I’d opt for a dining room. But if the kitchen has room for a large table, that would work for me.