I have bought those cards in the past for my brother and his wife. I thought it was kind of special, I address the card with both their names and write both their names inside the card with my greeting to them. I don't think my sister in law thinks badly of it though.

I sometimes don't know how to address envelopes to married friends who still have an older or adult child at home. I usually say, "John and Mary Doe, and family" or sometimes "....and John Jr.". Maybe the son doesn't live at home anymore I wouldn't really know for sure.

Or, to a couple where I know the wife better. Do I do the "Mr. and Mrs" or "Mary and John Doe", or to a couple that is not married: "Mary Doe and John Smith." or "Mary Doe and John" ????

Is this symptomatic of a broken relationship with other manifestations or is this your only gripe? Either possibility suggests you should let it drop, there either isn't a that big a problem to worry about or this isn't what the problem is.

...Maybe she’s the one who is forgetful? ;)

Eld, is this a special category card purchased as a single card from a display? If so, she thinks enough of you and her brother to buy a special card. I feel quite confident that her intentions are only the best.

I have bought these cards in the past at the greeting card rack but I do find the "and wife" to be somewhat dismissive. I often make my own at home with the Hallmark software and card stock. Given the right graphics and printer settings, they come out beautifully.

This makes me smile as I just sent what I thought was a special Christmas card to a very good friend from high school and her husband. I picked it because of the verse and on the front it said ASpecial Christmas Wish For The Both Of You." Looking at it just before sealing it, I thought, will he wonder if previous cards did not include him? I put it out of my mind and chalked it up to over-thinking it! The verse inside was special I thought as I know them both quite well. I have done the same for my brother and his family. It shows a little more thought went into it than just sending a random card IMO.

I would at least call you "my sister by marriage"

Eld6161,. If your names were on the inside of the card, there would certainly be nothing wrong with that type of card. I always put the names inside above the verse regardless what the outside says. That would make it more personal.

I put everyone’s names on the inside of the card, but the envelope only has so much room to write the addresses (return and recipient) so it’s “and family” after ‘Mr. & Mrs.” (or whoever).

I'm smiling because we always got a stock card from my SIL and inside it would be just signed Mary and Bill. Not Merry Christmas, Mary and Bill, Not Love, Mary and Bill, just Mary and Bill. I found it comical, in keeping with her personality, but a bit annoying. If I received no card at all, I wouldn't notice, so I guess I would have preferred no card.

I don't particularly like those type cards either. Having said that, I may have sent one or two a long time ago. For me, it does sound a little dismissive. Now I'm trying to think who I may have sent one to years ago. :(

Like MarylMi's "solution."

Eld, I too think it's intended to be a special card.....some brothers are special. Now, if the card excluded the wife part, I would be upset.

Mary, I would not mind "To the both of you."

Getting a card that is directed to one person with the others as the add along is what annoys me.

Obviously, in the scheme of things, this really isn't important. But, I received this card today and was wondering what others thought of these type of cards, in general.

Hey, why is everyone picking on the name "Mary" LOL. JK

Eld, I admit it's not very personal, but I think you are right to consider that in the whole scheme of life, this isn't something that needs to stand out. Now- that's from someone who doesn't particularly enjoy the greeting card part of the holidays, although I always do some and I faithfully write letters to the eldest making sure to type and use a large font to make them easy to read. Not just at holidays but year around, too many I know are so pleased to get actual mail, something they can pick up and reread.

If you want to talk 'in-law slights' other than cards at some point, you and I could probably have a real conversation. I have one sister, one brother, and married a man with 9 brothers and sisters - all of them lived closed enough to call and see us often. The stories I could tell...... ;0)

I don't get it. Is the card a PREPRINTED card that says "To my brother and his wife" on the front? Why would you be bothered by that? I'm sure it would be impossible to find a preprinted card that said "To my brother Bob and his wife Susie."

I buy preprinted cards that say "To my Son on his birthday," or "To my Dear Friend in sympathy." Or even "To my sister and her husband." How is this different? It's just Hallmark marketing.

Edited to add: I guess if the card said, "To my brother" without mentioning me - his wife - at all, then I might be offended.

We got one from DH sister and I didn't mind it at all. Even after we got the same one as last year. I just laughed when I opened it .

Littlebug, it's just how I personally feel about it. Yes, of course, it's a preprinted card.

I’m a little confused and don’t really get what is irking you, isn’t it the thought that really counts? I don’t send cards, I’d much rather pick up the phone to say Happy Happy or Merry Merry and then be done with it. Even when I have, they’ve typically arrived late (like an after thought?) or I’ve misspell the pretty but unusual name of my niece. Oh well, since I see nothing wrong with the way you say your card is addressed, maybe it’s for the best as I’d just offend someone anyways.

How is the envelope addressed? To both of you or only to your husband?

i have a nephew (husband's side) who's wife only addresses the card to my husband, never to both of us. I send their children small gifts every Christmas from "Jack and Jill"..

Looks like this is my individual quirk. Most of you feel it's fine so maybe I have to reexamine my attitude towards it.

i think the card is fine... that's how come. how would you like it to be addressed on the envelope "John Doe and family"??? that's how we get our card from DH's sister. talk about insulting!!!

for me, when its just a married couple, i write Mr & Mrs. Doe

with kids at home, The Doe Family

i always write first names in the card.

Maybe next time you see her, don't say "HI ______ <- insert her name", just say, "hello my husbands sister" to see what her reaction is. Don't call her by her name anymore. LOL

And to add: when I address an envelope to a family I address it "Mr & Mrs Smith". If they have children: Mr & Mrs Smith and family", but when I write the card, I'll write "Tom, Mary, Johnny and Suzie"

“Hello lady my brother married...and family” ;)

That would not bother me at all. At least they thought of your family. Life is too short to be bothered by such small things, that is the way I feel.

Sue

For the next holiday that you send cards (Easter?) do the same with her card. Get one that says "To My Sister And Family" . Show it to your husband and say you thought it was nice. Of course the sister will most likely think it is special and her husband probably could care less! :-)

Forgot to say that " you are part of his family and you are his wife so either way, you were included! It wouldn't be a problem to me at all.

I have a family member who writes on Facebook to "family, friends, and relatives."

I thought relatives were family.

It's hard to find one that says "to my brother and sister in law", I've yet to find one so I write above the word "wife" and put in "sister in love" as she and I have been friends since we were 17.

Mary, SIL doesn't have a family. She is widowed, no kids. She has a BF though.

I think I will accept that this is a quirk of mine.

I've bought and sent that kind of card numerous times. We have also gotten them numerous times. I think they are quite special. After all, the sender did go to the trouble to pick out a certain card rather than just grabbing a generic one out of a box. And so what if my SIL holds her brother in higher esteem than she does me. That's the natural way of things, "blood is thicker than water".

I never address a card "To the Doe Family" or to "Mr. & Mrs. Doe", that is way too impersonal and generic. It is to "Mr. & Mrs. John Doe", or to "Mr. & Mrs. John Doe and family. Or even "John & Mary Doe and Family". I feel there should be at least one first name on the envelope so the receiver knows that you know you sent the card to the right Doe family.

I seriously doubt any slight is intended. And I'm quite sure we all have our picky little quirks, but life is far too short, the whole meaning of Christmas is far too wonderful and enjoyable to let a little thing like words on a card steal our joy.

Rusty