This doesn't answer your question, but I agree its very hard, especially at holidays like this, to work around different (I don't know what the right word is, values?) expressing themselves at the holidays. I am happy with less; others don't feel "right" unless they are giving...things.

It sounds like we have the exact same SIL. She pretty much dictates our family Xmas. It actually worked out great this year. We had it last weekend & we all just said we would do our "own thing". I made them all metal ornaments of our state with vinyl hearts when each of us live with our last name on it. Nothing much, but everyone seemed to like them. She bought us all gift cards & went way overboard for my kids. I try not to let her stress me anymore. We had a great time & now it's over so I don't have to stress. I think having our family Xmas early was a total win!

As for traditions we bake cookies with the kids on Dec 23 & have a girls night in (family ladies) on Xmas Eve Eve (that night). Such a fun night!! Xmas Eve is our big family Xmas party on my moms side of the family. She has 6 bros & sisters, so lots of family & kids. Santa always makes a special visit there to give each kid a gift. Xmas morning is spent at my parents house. My kids love going there & we will continue to do that as long as they want to. My grandpa (90 years old) will come for lunch & will we relax all day playing, building, watching tv, eating & drinking. I love Xmas time!! :)

I think a better question would have been, what is your holiday tradition? This is a worldwide site and not everyone celebrates Christmas. :)

My "Christmas" tradition is to go see the latest movie in the theater and then go out for sushi. This year, i have no idea what it will be because we'll be on a cruise. That was our Hanukkah gift to one another.

One of my family's traditions, that died out with my mother's parents, was to have a poker game after Christmas dinner -- adults and children. I do believe my mother detested this, it wasn't elegant!

Another seasonal tradition (again from my childhood) was to go into downtown Cincinnati to a kosher deli there and load up on tongue, pastrami, salamis and corned beef; pastries (like bear claws and rugelach); and chocolate coins. This stemmed from my dad's Jewish background, and it seemed to be the only time of the year, every year, that he made this effort.

Now, since I usually work Christmas day, my DD & I get together, play Christmas music, and make an appetizer feast for the two of us.

As a child, the big deal was Christmas breakfast after mass and presents. I could spend the rest of the day reading the new book either I or my older brother got- he wasn't big on the books, but I was. One year he would only let me read his new Johnny Tremain if I agreed to write his book report on it. Deal!

A few years ago one of our adult sons was stranded in a dim and dreary city 1200 miles from home after a break up with his then financé. We went there to celebrate Christmas with him. As he was renting a room in a dreadful house full of passing-through roomates, we first went to the aquarium and then to a lovely dinner at a hotel. The hotel was totally Christmas-ed up with soft music and a special menu. This was such a hit, that we have continued to do that, first in our home city when he moved back, and now in another city that he, we, and our DD have all moved to. DD now has young children of her own, so we have Christmas Eve dinner here with them, but on Christmas, we go out with our son and his girlfriend. It's fun researching who might have the best Christmas dinner options and making a reservation well ahead of time.

DH and I go to his parents' house for Christmas eve dinner and gift exchange with his sisters and their families (only consumable gifts for the adults, like homemade hot sauce or local honey). It's intimate and enjoyable.

When I first became part of DH's family (my own is far away), we spent Christmas day skiing with anyone in the family who wanted to ski. This changed about 15 years ago, when each family implemented their own "tradition" over the past 15 years. This has led to a total of 3 events, each at a different family's house and featuring a totally different (and expansive) meal. We were initially expected to attend each one in succession, starting at 10 am and going until after dinner.

Several years ago, after I starting thinking of it as the "parade-of-Christmas-homes-from-hell", DH suggested we start a tradition of our own: we drive home (2 hours away) and go skiing. That way we don't play favorites, and everyone is equally aware that we probably won't stick around Christmas day. Bah humbug! ;)

@cpartist my apologies. I was actually at the dentist typing the topic on Novocaine. I did mean holiday but was really rushed and the mobile does not allow me to edit the topic until I can get home later and on a desktop.

I'm home now but the Houzz system does not allow me to edit my original post in any way. This is new. I've messed up before and been able to edit on my phone. I thought it was just a mobile issue. Darn.

Nah it only gives you 1/2 hour to edit. All is good. :)

Growing up, before any of us were married, we would go to midnight mass, then come home and open gifts until 3 am. As we each were married, this tradition continued until the next generation came along. We changed it up abit with opening gifts first, then going to mass. Eventually midnight mass fell by the wayside and the the evening commenced with dinner, then gifts.

There was a point that we bought for everyone. All 18–my parents, siblings and spouses, and our children. Along the way that got narrowed down to just our parents and kids that were high school age and under.

My parents have been gone for 9 and 17 years, but we still always get together for dinner and gifts on Christmas Eve. I can’t imagine it any other way.

How about a new tradition with my first grandchild.

Miss Q and I made gingerbread houses today. She will be 3 on Valentine's Day.