Maybe have some hearty, meat-y appetizers like chicken or meatballs?

My Christmas Eve dinner starts with a grapefruit/avocado salad with poppy seed dressing and red currants if I can find them. Then comes the lobster stew! It's very rich as it has a lot of cream in it. I serve it with popovers and butter. The popovers fly off the table! Dessert is 2-3 mini-cream puffs that one can find in the freezer case at the grocery. Set them on the plates before sitting down to dinner and they will have thawed perfectly. I dust them with a bit of powdered sugar, really just for looks. They are served with a nice scoop of raspberry sorbet. I then pass one bowl of lemon curd and one of hot fudge - some choose one, some both, some none.

We start the meal with oysters on the half shell in the LR.

No one goes home hungry!

I would do a smoked mozzarella and tomato ciabatta broiled/pannied/grilled sandwich. Just something to heat and toast your homemade version. Starbucks has these and I love them but they would be great with a chowder.

In New England, we would serve oyster crackers with the chowder. Perhaps a side of coleslaw, and some baked beans.

That sort of thing was my traditiona s well....I found that a chub of beef filet either on the grill or in the oven, done rare to medium and sliced thin with a loaf of French bread fills the gaps for those who must have their meat.

Several years ago I did a soup and sandwich buffet for a 50th birthday party.

I did a "make your own sandwich bar " beside the soup. Several breads and rolls, sliced meatballs in a crock pot, sliced ham , sliced turkey and several cheeses on platters . Two mustards and a mayo.

Somehow any sandwich works with any soup but giving people a choice on how to build their sandwich seems to be appreciated

ETA Just recalled I was a at a get together recently where a clam chowder was served and the hostess prepared a selection of mini sandwiches on slider buns, biscuits and mini croissants and mini bagels. They were pretty much two or three biters but they were easy to eat with the soup

I would be happy with the chowder and corn bread/oyster crackers with maybe a salad on the side. You didn't mention what dessert might be, but a cake or tort should fill them up. Any appetizers before dinner?

When I try something new and am afraid family won't care for it, or if I feel the meal is skimpy possibly, I like to make a plate of deviled eggs. They love them and they disappear fast. A salad would be good too--greens, citrus, and pomegranate seeds for color would be festive. You can add nuts too.

I grew up with oyster soup/chowder, etc. for Christmas eve, but changed traditions when my own children were young. We now have grands and still do the same. We get a Honey Baked ham and have nice hoagie rolls, several types of good sliced cheese, red leaf lettuce, condiments, veggie and fruit tray, chips and quick breads and set it up on the island as a "make it yourself sandwich" bar. We do most presents that night, so this was started to allow the "too excited" kids to eat more later. It's worked well for us and doesn't put such a burden on the cook. All this to suggest you might consider ham; it's easy.

I would either get a spiral-sliced ham or do a mixed cold-cuts & cheeses platter and have various rolls/breads, condiments, yada yada, for everyone to make whatever sandwich sounds good to them. Another alternative would be to make a big tray of Hawaiian sandwiches (like these: Baked Ham & Cheese Party Sandwiches).

ETA: and welcome to the group!

I think your menu sounds fine as it is. I can't imagine (unless someone doesn't eat seafood) being left hungry with chowder and cornbread - both pretty filling dishes. Maybe a veggie or fruit salad for balance, but I wouldn't mess with your children's traditions - I'll bet they'd be happy to have their new loved ones embrace the chowder/cornbread meal.

I probably wouldn't do sandwiches if you are still serving cornbread. Instead, I'd probably just add an appetizer and dessert. For the appetizer, I'd do slice-it-yourself cheese blocks (three different kinds should be sufficient) and nuts and grapes. People usually love those kinds of nibbles. Then add a nice dessert. No one will go home hungry.

Just want to thank each and every
one of you for being so generous with your advice and fabulous suggestions -- I
love all of your ideas and you’ve helped me gain my confidence back!!

@Embothrium, There is always
room at our table!

I might add a Caesar salad as an extra dish but seafood chowder and cornbread sounds wonderful.

We do Lobster Bisque with popovers for Christmas Eve. Followed by fruitcake, cookies and eggnog after the candlelight church service.

How about Shrimp Toast...not really in the same cuisine as the chowder but very tasty and easy to make.

I'm guessing if your children are with partners, spouses, (?), they should be filling in what to expect for the meal?

I can relate with a BIL and SIL who both grew up land-locked and have different traditions. SIL is of Swedish decent. So not much seafood.

My family is EasternShore ChesapeakeBay area so all seafood all week x-mas through the NewYear.

I'm the designated holiday chef and tradition is a chowder, fish stew, or Bouillabaisse x-mas eve. Casual, as most are off wrapping, yacking, grazing/snacking, and last minute shopping...so I make lots of prepped ahead charcuterie plates...cheeses, olives, nuts and nibbles. etc.

I like to make some nice big toasted croutons from a fresh boule, then some un-toasted slices, cornbread, a crusty French loaf sliced, and packaged oyster crackers at the table. And a couple small bowls of rouille sauces, one spicy, one not. So another bread choice or two might be nice.

As long as you have some nibbles, maybe including something meat and cheese, all should be satisfied with a hearty soup.

I made ahead last month baby meatballs and porcini risotto balls now in the freezer for a pre-chowder snack as well as all the other treats I'll prep.

The nice thing about prepping ahead easy snacks like cheeses and fruit, sliced meats, is that nothing goes to waste. Any leftovers are good through the holiday.

I think I know what we are having for Christmas Eve. Seafood Chowder sounds great!