Flirting or harassment?
arcy_gw
6 years ago
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Nothing Left to Say
6 years agograywings123
6 years agoRelated Discussions
New Citrus Trees
Comments (3)That's great, Dianne! I bet you'll get GST eggs on yours - they're fairly common butterflies. I saw the strangest thing today! A giant swallowtail - undoubtedly the one who laid the eggs before - was fluttering around my two citrus trees, trying to lay eggs, but a palamedes swallowtail kept fluttering practically right on top of her to the point she couldn't lay her eggs. Then a second palamedes joined in the fluttering, also keeping her from laying more eggs. This went on and on until she finally managed to lay two eggs - I don't know how she did it with these other two swallowtails, who were almost as big as she was, harassing her. She may have laid more eggs after I left. I don't know if the palamedes were trying to flirt with her or drive her away. I've heard of palamedes and spicebush swallowtails flirting and circling, but never palamedes and GSTs! Weird! MissSherry...See MoreI think I like a guy that is engaged!
Comments (15)Sweetheart, technically it IS sexual harrassment whether he is your manager or not and whether you consent or not. As someone in your work organisation in a position of power he should not be hitting on the staff. Your free consent cannot be assumed because it may be that subconsciously you are so flattered by having a superior (and probably older man) flirt with you that you are more likely to consent than if it was, say, Larry the mail boy. While he may not be officially engaged, having given his "promise" to another means he is off the relationship table and by flirting with you he is what could be called "cheating in his heart". You don't have to physically cheat- he is alienating his affections from the person he gave his promise to, and the mother of his child. Now, if they both took off the promise rings, then you could assume the relationship was over and he was single again. But he's not. I've been married for nearly 30 years. In that time I've seen dozens of people I found attractive. I like a fit bod as much as the next girl. BUT, that's as far as it goes. If you are faithful to your partner you just don't say to anyone else, "If I was single I would kiss you,"- when you are not open to other relationships there is no "chemistry". Clearly there is for you because you are single yourself. If it is there for him it is because he thinks of himself as single but knows that you know he isn't. I'm glad you are planning to follow suzieque's suggestions, they are good ones....See MoreI'm not sure what I think. Could future women be hurt?
Comments (73)Was blown away by Selma Hayek's article. To have a meaningful discussion we need to differentiate between rape, sexual assault, and harassment. Hayek DID say no, repeatedly, and did fight against Weinstein. But he continued to bully her in a sexual way, which is harassment. And he got away with it because of the power he wielded in her industry and a lack of an accountability force in his work. Weinstein seems to fit standard psychopath behaviors--charming and charismatic on the surface, good at manipulating people, gets a kick out of pushing boundaries, and has the inability to ever respect them because to respect social boundaries you have to be able to empathize with your fellow humans. The golden rule of how to treat people which is totally logical, makes no sense if you cannot imagine an "other" as being anything outside of an object. And that goes for the way psychopaths treat both men and women. Psychopaths are not all Hannibal Lecter's, many are highly functioning and respected members of our society, due to their charm and for some, intelligence. And many do not "mean" to harm people and can be taught to treat people well, but in a mechanistic way. But by the time someone is in the position of Weinstein, too many people are invested so it will take a "village" so to speak, to hold them accountable. It takes quite a while for enough people to understand how twisted the person is, because if you have never seen it or experienced it in person, based on the person's outside face, you find it unbelievable. They can hold it together for a while and say just the right things to gain sympathy and positive attention. Ask me how I know . . . Years ago I had a very weird boss, who everyone thought was a saint but could be casually cruel just as easily as casually eloquent and charming. He would mouth the words about how we were all one big family and folks would believe him . . . until they experienced his dark side. One of the people who worked with him told me once, "I used to think he was a great guy and my friend, and then I realized he was NOT a great guy, and NOT my friend, and the only person he cared about was himself." But hard to pin anything on him since so many folks practically worshiped him....See MoreFeeder fights!!
Comments (10)Yes, the Anna's are the permanent residents here. We get migrating vistors during the summer months but it is just the Anna's that are here all through winter. There are scads of hummers here. I see and hear them all over and darn near every household has feeders out. I think many claim their own territory/household and it's the same couple (maybe a mated pair) I see everyday and even they do not always show up together. But I'm sure you are correct in that an interloper to the garden caused all that ruckus. Has been quiet out there since I first posted so he was obviously chased off and has gone back to wherever he came from :-) I love listening to them!! All the clicks and trills and chattering!! And sometimes they just perch in the ancient plum tree by my patio and sing their little hearts out :-) ETA: My containerized grevillea has just started to bloom and while I know they will find it where it is currently, I think I will move it so that it is more visible to me and raise the pot so that it is more accessible to the birds....See MoreRita / Bring Back Sophie 4 Real
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