calwhiteknight54

The nightmares of death.

calwhiteknight54
3 years ago

I lost my wife to cancer 3 months ago. It happened so fast it still doesn’t seem real; I was blindsided. I can't believe she's gone. We had the most incredible marriage and love story. I miss hearing her voice, her presence, her smile, her laughter. It’s unbearable at times. I can function just fine during the day and interact with other people, but the nights are a torment. I cared for her daily before she died, and held her hand as she passed away. But, the pain and torture she endured haunts me. Some of the things were so horrible; it's like a nightmare. To see the one you love so dearly going through the agony of death and yet you're helpless. I’m sure there are others who’ve gone through the same thing. How do you deal with guilt and torment? Does it every get better?

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