I witnessed a horrible accident today :(
8 years ago
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- 8 years ago
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at my wit's end, don't know what to do...
Comments (8)I have to agree - helping others should not come at such a cost to you and your well-being. For your own sanity, literally, you should talk to a therapist yourself who can explain what is going on, it is some sort of codependency thing when your dad defends your mother's reprehensible behaviour etc. Clearly something needs to be done, but you need to look after yourself. There is nothing wrong with approaching their doctor and discussing the situation with them, it happens all the time. I would say it's clear that your dad isn't coping and has some mental issues himself. My mum is herself very self-centred and somewhat verbally abusive of my dad, it took me a long time to see him through my own eyes and not hers, and work out he's a pretty cool guy. It was a shock to me to realise my first wife was very much like my mother, and my role very much like my dad's, although I didn't resign myself quite like he did, and eventually got out. I had to ask him one day why he put up with it, and he sheepishly replied since he'd put up with it for so long he couldn't do anything now. I know this sounds callous, but I sort of hope she'll pass first and he'll remain reasonably healthy so he can enjoy some of his time a little more, and maybe come and visit with us (overseas) a bit, she's been too unwell to travel for some time. I hope you can find the strength to do what needs to be done and distance yourself a little, if that's what it takes. Make sure your kids understand all this, again, talking to a therapist would help....See Moreat my wit's end - puppy potty training
Comments (18)First of all you need to rule out a UTI. This could be part of the problem. It does not matter that she can hold it over night, she is not stimulated when she is sleeping. You need to realize that not all dogs are the same in this category. Some get it within a week or less, others take longer. *Pick a system, any system so you and pup wont get confused. This one has a good success record, and it will give you a good start. System. *EVERY SECOND (donÂt argue)! supervision is a must when pup is not crated. Have a leash on her so you can easily grab her and take her out when you need to. Set a timer so you can take her out about every 30-40 minutes, then GRADUALLY (over the course of a few weeks) increase the time you take her out by about 20-30 minutes. Increasing the time by to much confuses the dog. This is a MAJOR mistake lots of humans make when trying to house train a dog. *Immediately after she comes out of the crate, take her out. Stopping to put on your shoes is a major mistake. Get pup used to the commands "go poo" and "go pee". These commands should be a must, they are incredibly helpful when the weather is bad. *If dog doesn't do anything, that's fine, if it does, give tons of praise and give a "quality" treat, preferably one used just for training purposes. Consistency is the key. Dogs are creatures of habit and depend on a repetitive schedule. This is no time to skimp on excessive praise and treats when you are house training. Pup needs to associate being let out of the crate with yummy treats doing itÂs thing and huge amounts of praise. Boiled or baked chicken liver is a great training tool, dogs crave it and you really have their attention when you use it. *Daily walks at least twice a day (about 20-30 minutes each in the same area) are essential for dogs and getting them house trained. Walking gets things moving, dogs love it and it gives them something to look forward to. Try and feed a pup prior to the walks. Never free feed unless your vet says to. Pups have a high metabolism. Soon after it eats or drinks, it will need to go out. *Pups drink huge amounts of water. In theory yours should be able to hold it for (one hour for each month) up to about 9 months. In reality, if a young pup has been playing, it will gulp down lots of water, and just won't be able to hold it for that long. After pup drinks, keep an eye on it. Take it out in about 5-10 minutes and offer it relief. *You are making a very bad mistake being mad at your pup. When dogs do something wrong, itÂs the fault of the human in charge, not the dogÂs. You are going to traumatize her, make things worse and never get this under control. She simply does not know why you are mad. If you cannot catch her in the act, scold her and take her out, you might as well clean it up. Just a few seconds after the deed, she will not retain why you are scolding her. Using the crate for punishment is another mistake, it will confuse pup because this is supposed to be her safe sanctuary. You need to dig in and decide that you are going to get this under control, and do what ever it takes. Lest, your life will become very difficult. *Your pup won't be considered house trained unless it has no accidents for at least 9months! Also, there is a HUGE difference in a dog that is 4-6 months old and one that is 9-10 months old. They grow inside and out. Once they reach 9-10 months, their bladders are larger and able to hold it longer. Good luck! SG...See MoreHorrible, horrible night
Comments (22)"I'm just incredulous that the police didn't think getting punched in the nose is not assault simply because the victim avoided a broken nose" YEP. I am actually more pissed about it, the more time that goes by. I don't really know what BM said to the police because they talked to me inside and she was out in the driveway. I know she was claiming I HIT HER first which pisses me off because I didn't hit her AT ALL. I covered my face with my hands and ran! LOL. Even SS saw everything that happened and was screaming/crying at his mom to not hurt me. TRUST ME, as loyal as he is to her, if I had hit her, he would have been yelling at ME. But according the cops--it's a "domestic issue" and they told me it's always he said/she said. It also made me angry because one of the cops (there were, like 6 or 7 of them) said "well, if she is so drunk, why'd you let her in the house?" UGH. I let her in and didn't call the police to avoid a SCENE like the one we had! Granted, in hindsight, I shouldn't have let her in--but she was sobbing at the backdoor and then SS SAW her. :( It all worked out really badly. I did the best I could under the circumstances. That one cop was kind of rude to me, I thought, but the others were all pretty nice. The last one to leave did tell me that I have 6 months to press charges. He didn't really say I should or shouldn't, but just said it was an option but that in domestic situations, it is hard to get anything to stick. I am angry the police were not more helpful to ME. MY house, MY driveway, MY yard--she's DRUNK, and I'm SOBER, taking care of two children. Let's see.....who is in the wrong here?...See MoreAt wits end with bullying!!!
Comments (27)I tend to tell my children that it is never okay to fight unless you cant walk away.... I especially stress this because these days (in our school system at least) it doesnt matter who started the fight and it doesnt matter why it happened. If you get caught fighting, you are suspended if not worse. There is a zero toleration policy in school. Although I realize we are talking about on the way to school here, I just dont want to get them confused as to when and where you would be allowed to do it. For me, if you can walk away then you need to. But, here is thought for you.... When I was younger (cant really remember how young elem/middle school age) there was this boy. He was bigger than most of the other kids and just plain mean. He pushed, he hit, he said mean things. No one wanted to go near this kid because he was such a bully. My mom was picking us up from school and saw the boy and said (outloud actually) "enough is enough" She told all of us kids (there are four of us) to follow her. She walked right up to the kid and asked him if it was fun for him to have no one to play with because he was so mean to people. I think he mumbled something to her along the lines of no or something. So she told him we are going to play a game and all of these kids are going to play with you... but there will be no name calling hitting etc... So very very begrudingly all of us kids started playing hide and seek I think it was. After a while we were all having fun and the bully wasnt being a bully any more. When we got home my mom told us that sometimes some kids just dont know how to play nice with other people until you show them how. And we should never assume a bully is being mean just because he can. She told us sometimes just being nice to someone can change them for the better so we should always try to be nice and make friends... maybe they are just desperately looking for someone to like them. After that day we never had a problem with the bully and I have to say it was one of the greatest lessens she ever taught me. It was amazing to me at the time to watch this mean hateful kid turn into someone who was laughing and playing with us with no problems.... and someone who would say hi and be nice from that day forward. ..... Ofcourse she also taught us how to defend ourselves if the time came for that as well....See More- 8 years ago
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