Please - all you Mamma Bears (said with great respect - I'm a mom too) take a deep breath, stand back, and calm down. I have no doubt that that phone call was upsetting and frightening. Your daughter was smart to call you, and I think you were smart to investigate and also for Dad to call back and make himself abundantly clear. If the caller had bad intentions, he now knows that your daughter has a pissed-off no-nonsense male for protection. That can't hurt. But please do consider that the caller may not have had bad intentions. As you noted Bethpen, your daughter was kind to several young men with poor social skills, any one of whom might have made that call without understanding at all how it might have seemed to her... He may genuinely have considered her a friend, and have wanted to reestablish contact and see how her new job was going, and had no idea how creepy it would have seemed. But your daughter's creeped-out reaction may have alerted him to the fact that the phone call wasn't going well, so he declined to give his name for that reason - not thinking how that would make it all even worse... This type of action and lack of insight would be very typical of a young man with autism. This call was a single action, not a series, that was perceived as creepy because it did not conform to social norms. There was nothing threatening in what was said, but the social inappropriateness (that's the nature of the autism disability) created a perceived problem. A mountain out of what could truly be a molehill. At this point there has been one phone call with a message that was inappropriate and yes, creepy, but not actually threatening. Please try and keep that in perspective, and carefully consider the option that it may not have been meant to provoke fear. That said, I do agree with the suggestions to inform HR where your daughter works, and to ask for specific training about how to handle threatening calls. Given the nature of her work, that can only be of benefit. This post was edited by sweeby on Sun, Aug 10, 14 at 14:24

Thaimommy, I think maybe I did not express myself adequately if you some how got the idea that I think sex is more important than the love of a child. My parents are divorced. There are times even now, I wish I could talk to my dad with out having to go through my sm, so I do try to put myself in her shoes. She comes to our house eow and once during the week. I try to make sure she feels like she is getting "quality" time with her dad, just her and dad, as well as trying to make sure that she knows I care about her and very much include her in our lives. My sd parents have been divorced since she was 5. She is 12. Her dad has always been involved in her life. Thats why I could not really understand the insecure behavior. Which now is more like obs. com. behavior. Her mom is somewhat compulsive obsessive and the phone calling seems to be similar. I am not trying to cut her off from her dad and I realize she is at an awkward time in her life, thats why I wanted to try to get some feed back as to how to handle it. It just did not make sense to me that anyone would call anyone every hour and half from 5:00 to 10:00 every night unless there was a problem.

wimom, I think you are a very caring person toward your stepkid, and I think you only want the best for her. BUt try to think about how I , and probably other people read your story. Your daughter is thirteen. She is at the age where she is faced with pressure every day, from all kinds of sources. Her mom has , in your words, been pressuring her . Her mom has two phone calls a week, and I think it is probably a testimony to how difficult things must be between the two households, that the calls are court ordered. In most houses , kids of divorce at 13 can freely talk to either parent, as long as they want, as often as they want. Now, the situation. You were out. Daughter was on phone with her mother, for twice the usual time. When you came home, your other children ratted her out and told you. She didnt. That says to me she wasnt particulary bothered about it at the time. The first thing your husband did was fly to the computer and complain to the ex. NOw, what I read from this is ( please dont be offended) a) your husband, and maybe you, are as easy to annoy as th emom is b) your daughter feels caught in the middle because she either is too weak to set any boundaries ( which is dangerous as a teenager), OR , she feels very strongly that you disapprove of her talking to her mother, and she feels compelled to either hide it from you, or act indifferent in front of you because she senses your disapproval. In my opinion, she really does feel caught between a rock and a hard place. You arent doing yoru stepdaughter any favours to be flying to her supposed defence at her age. You are perpetuating the problem with mom, and not allowing your stepchild to grow by letting her handle it herself. She will never learn to have the self confidence to handle a tough situation if you dont let her. I really think its time for you and your husband to stop the war...there will be no fight if one side just doesnt play. Let the mom be an idiot if she wants to , but you and your husband dont have to fall into it as well. Your daughter is the one who is suffering here, because she loves BOTH her parents, and she doesnt want to displease either of them. You will probably find that your stepdaughter will , after floundering a bit, learn to handle this all on her own. Let her grow, and do the thing that is appropriate for her age. She isnt a baby. Trust her enough to let her figure it out on her own. Hands off the phone communication, thats between your daughter and her mother. BUt make sure you dont show your disapproval in an attempt to influence the stepkid. THats just as bad as what her mom does by pressuring her...its still pressure, albeit a different kind. Good luck

Yes, so do I.....but you are giving this app permission to use the camera that came with your phone to take pictures & videos......it can do this any time it wants & it does not have to let you know..... I was pointing out the permissions as just something to be aware of.....all apps have different levels of permissions & its always a good idea to read through them..... Glad to hear that you are enjoying the free calling..... It sure beats a long distance bill.... ; )) Kanooka