I totally understand your situation, but I do want to ask about his "growing up" time. Was he raised in a family without a lot of stable conditions? By that, I mean "of the same" or "not normal conditions, should I say? My husband too was brought up in a "not so good environment, and he's #4 of 8 children, and it was a rough up-bringing for them all to some degree. Some areas affected some more than others, but this being said, does help to know the basis of the stem. Most of the 7 children (as 1 did die at the age of 18 in 1990) are on anti-depression medication, and have been diagnogsed as bi-polar, or something of similair. I've been married to the love of my life for 27 yrs this Oct. and let me tell you the last 3 haven't been fun at all. Most of the marriage has had it's times, but, it's like in full force now with the anger. In fact we've really fallen apart bad a few times lately, but we're starting counseling and marriage classes with a christian church this Friday. It's going to be ongoing. I just know it will. But I see you're stuggle, and you're doing the right thing by researching, and reaching out for advise or anything that may work. I've been there for quite some time, and you may want to google....Passive Aggressive. It sounds like you're really in a relationship with a husband with that condition. There's no cure, but it helps by you understanding. And not calling him out on it, as I knew I couldn't either as I don't have a degree to do so, but maybe even baby steps to help him see what he's actually doing. That's been my husband's problerm, and a passive agressive person always blames YOU! for everything. Even if it's black and white plain as day, and you had nothing to do with it, but it's you're fault and it will come down on your shoulders. Look it up, and not just one site, but many to fully understand, and let me know your thoughts. I'm the type that I believe I can fix anything, and i've been scared on this, even though i'm giving my best effort, but I can't throw this away until I know I've tried and down all that I can do. Sex, was getting scarce for a couple years, but i've even got that back to a couple times a week now. Awesome on that, until we argue, and then it just seems that he must take it to the extreme, and it doesn't stop until I take the larger part of the blame and reconcile. Just not what I intend to do for the rest of my life. I am 46 and he is 49, and we've just got to make this work, or else. 3 children, all grown and moved out, so that's a struggle also I'm thjinking, but it stems from his passive aggressive behavior and upbringing in such a passive household. Good Luck, and keep me posted

It does not matter if it were a stick of gum tucked in the night stand...stealing is still stealing. Stealing is exactly what these two are doing. Do they go into stores and help themselves? I'd hope not. Go into their friends house/apartments and help themselves? Of course not because their friends would simply kick the friendship to the curb. The kids are doing this behavior not only because of their father, but their mother too. The parents here have failed these young adults. And they will not stay young for long. Another 10 yrs and if nothing changes these ladies will be in their 30s and still acting like entitled brats going on 13. You DH has said he sees no reason for them to change--"My husband told me that he knows they are spoiled rotten but he isn't going to change anything in the way he treats them and they aren't going to change because their is no call for it".-- While he may think it's 'ok' now, their young blah blah, he will certainly not think it is acceptable in 10, 15, 20 yrs. But nothing will have changed because their mother/father did not bother to do their parenting duties while there was still time to intervene. Think about it. These two brats have it pretty good right now. They don't have to work, don't need to earn money and need for anything because they just steal from others. They get spending money, clothing money, cars, gas, make-up, money to 'enhance' their youthful whims (tats, hair, piercings)...there is no incentive here to be any different. Nothing that says they must behave any different, worry about continued education and productive futures. Who needs all that, they have Mom and Dad. Is this really the future you husband wants for his daughters? Realistically I'm sure not...but now that he is surrounded by full grown brats that he has trained to be this way he does not have a clue as to what to do about it and fears anything he tries will push the brats away and they'll despise him. Talk to your husband about counseling for himself. He must deal with his own issues of his past, his actions, and his future before he can begin to take a productive stand with his adult offspring. He needs to learn the way he is allowing his marriage and home to be affected by his actions/lack of actions is going to end up looking like those 10, 15, 20 yrs from now and whether or not this is the track he really wants to continue down and/or how to get off it and on to a different path... for himself, you, his daughters. In the short timeframe, you could always go into one of those specialty shops and purchase a tee with a big arrow that reads 'their with him' and wear it when going out in public with these brats. LOL. You can also not fret over having to go out to eat. Do you really want to cook for them? Don't want to go out, cook yourself a meal and let the other three (DH, daughters) fend for themselves. Get yourself a nice pair of fashion earplugs to block out the daughters little hissy fits. Set yourself up with a mini apartment in your home like 'Kalunas private den'...one with locks on it...and tuck yourself away in peace and quiet along with a hot bath and a good book for the evenings the brats intrude with their ill behavior. Better yet, join a female group of exercise, reading clubs, charity volunteers...whatever your interest is. Why sit home and be miserable along with your DH and his daughters? You're not just Mrs.______, you're a working woman with friends and interest of your own...don't forget to lock the door to your private den on your way out the door. While you can't force your husband to change or to take a stand with the daughters, you can control how and when you deal with it. Time to liberate yourself from their drama

In defense of the dissing of photo portraits, we were standing near a couple that looked very much like a senior picture. Picture a photo of a pleasant-looking young woman, from the shoulders up, with some trees in the background. Not dramatic trees, not "forest at midnight & mysterious mood lighting". Just person in front of some trees, and a person who looks to be dressed in something you could buy today. The composition was about as interesting as the "sample picture" that is in a lot of frames at Target. Not bad ... but not something I really understood. I can understand feeling a connection with a portrait of someone with an interesting face or a cultural significance. And I've seen some antique photo portraits used in homes that were pretty interesting & worked with the space. I still don't know that I want to buy a photo that has a person looking at me, though. I wonder if it goes back to having those pictures of "little girls with BIG eyes" around when I was a kid? It's hard to explain, but these looked like someone walked into a high school in AnyTown, USA & chose one of the pretty girls with attractive (but not stunning) features and said, "Hey, can you stand over here in front of these trees? I'm going to take a few black & white shots ..." At least, that's what it looked like to me. But then again, many critics denounced Impressionistic paintings when that style first started because they just didn't get it. I might be like one of them ;)

I have never requested updates to any of my threads.....but then I don't start many :-) However, if you go into 'Your Houzz' under your profile and then 'activity' you will see recent updates to any threads you have either started or contributed to. Although I participate in a lot of forums, it is not a big deal for me to remember which ones I have posted to and/or are interested in with regards to others' responses. I review them daily until I get bored or a new topic comes up :-) Does that not work for you?