Did you know that those little night-light bulbs that are used in the candles in the window smash into a thousand pieces when the candle falls off the window sill? I know it the hard way and refresh my memory of it at least once every year. I can't understand how a bulb that small breaks into so many pieces. I swear I swept up the equivalent of a full sized light bulb from one tiny 4 watt candle bulb - and still found a piece glistening on my yoga mat when I unrolled it. Some people around here (eastern PA) keep them up all year and I can understand why. It's so pretty and welcoming. My house seems to dark & dreary once they are down. I've known people who have electric outlets placed below each window so they don't have to run extension cords. I've also seen, at a store but never IRL, an electric dock like system that is built into the window and then the candle slides into it. For the truly hard-core candle fan I guess. I limit myself to candles, with their magical exploding and expanded bulbs, from the Saturday after Thx until whenever I get around to taking them down in January.

Well, from my 45 years of experience being single, there are several "marriage waves" that a person can ride. One is the high school one. Virtually everyone in high school is single and so lots of people meet and pair up then. After that comes the college wave, ditto. Then comes the first years out of college/career establishment phase. A lot of people who meet during this time meet as they are both starting out work. This phase is a little more difficult, because some careers are going to take a lot of time and energy to establish. There are issues that can arise in a woman's life at each of those stages that makes it hard for her to ride the wave to matrimony. After that, the pickings get slim, because a large proportion of the people in your age/social marriage class have gotten married. I think there is a fourth wave, the divorce wave starting in the 40's, and then finally a widowed wave. I'm not sure which wave you rode Mary, but after 35, things get really difficult on the dating scene, no way to sugar coat it. Men who want and are able to accomodate committed relationships tend to get into them by the time they reach 35 or so. Notice I said TEND, this is just a generalization and there are exceptions. And therein lies the challenge, you are looking for the exception in the haystack. They are there, but you have to root around, which is an emotionally trying and time consuming process. If your friends are really serious about the hunt for a good relationship, they will have to do some rather "unpleasant" marketing of themselves, and they will need all the support they can get from you. You are the perfect one to give it, since you're not the "competition." My best friends have been absolute gems this year supporting me trying to find someone decent to date and have a relationship with. It is just unbelievably hard but I won't go on and on about it here because that isn't the subject of this post. I just wanted to tell you Mary that your friends are lucky that they have you. I would have curled up and died long ago had it not been for my wonderful friends. BTW, a book that I have been using to assist me is called "How to Find a Husband After 35, Using What I Learned in Harvard Business School." It is one of the most "out there" books you will ever find on the subject of dating, but I don't mind it so much, you don't have to agree with everything the author writes about. Basically the author's premise is that you can use the same guerilla marketing techniques someone might use to get a new project or business going to get a marriage going. Having worked in a situation where I reviewed lots of resumes, interviewed and hired lots of people, I can say that I do believe that the two processes are similar. I've had to market myself in order to get a job, and I've used my techniques to help friends get jobs. So tell your friends if they can get a job, they can get a man, and if they can make a good "hire" they can choose the right partner. That approach sounds cold and calculating, and to some exent it is, but the book also has lots of suggestions on how to reach out to your friends and neighbors to assist them in your "quest" which for me has actually been kind of spiritually uplifting. My friends now all know I am looking to get married and they are being very supportive. Another book I found helpful that I picked up in the bargin book bin was "The Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments" and it is written by a rabbi who used the spiritual guides of the Ten Commandments as starting points for a series of essays on male/female relationships. See, that book really isn't about "dating" as much as relationships, but which would sell better, "The DATING Secrets of the Ten Commandments" or "The RELATIONSHIP Secrets of the Ten Commandments." One is a racy anomaly, one sounds preachy. It's all about marketing! :-) Anyway, the rabbi doesn't take himself too seriously, there are a lot of funny bits in the book with some of the serious ideas. It is a little on the schmaltzy side, a little overdone, but there are a few pearls in there.

Msmarion, what an uplifting day you had! Finding that tape from a church in your hometown is weird. An omen I think, of further good things to come. You deserve some breaks, I am pleased that you got some.

I wouldn't have used sand in the mix. I would transplant it into a fast draining soil such as "Miracle-Gro Cactus, Palm and Citrus" potting mix. This has excellent drainage and works great for Pachiras. I would also give it more sunlight. Perhaps a shaded porch at first, then gradually moving it out into brighter light when you see new growth budding out. This would give it time to adjust to the brighter sunlight without getting sunburned. Any new growth will already be used to the more intense sunlight. I grow mine outside in full, direct sunlight all summer long and keep it well watered during that time. But it has been used to these conditions for many years now. Pachiras love as much sunlight as you can possibly give them, but they'll need time to adjust to it. Especially in such a weakened state. Be patient and don't give up hope. Pachiras are quite hardy and can pull through.