I think YOU are ready for a peaceful float in the pool! Well done!

You are a dear . . . I cannot believe people's gall! Glad it basically turned out all right and I don't think your blunt remark to THAT woman was too blunt!

Omg, thank you for posting this hilarious update. It sounds like torture for you, but I couldn't help laughing at the absurdity of it all. Raised by wolves, lol! LOVE this part: " ... do not hold your breath your family will not be receiving any more invitations from us." Too funny! And she had it coming, btw.

You rock!

I've been following this story with interest because it's hard to believe that someone like the pesty mom can be so determined to get their way at all costs. I feel sorry for her children.

I love that I am a grandmother now! If I wasn't I might be in jail for how I would have handled your situation.

You are certainly to be commended for your restraint. I would have a hard time staying pleasant under those circumstances!

Roarah you are a saint! Your post brought back many memories and I'm very glad my neighborhood mom days are in the past. I remember one mom who was so domineering that she actually expected me to check with her first before I settled on a date for a party. She felt if she already had plans I needed to change the date. I have so many unbelievable stories. You handle everything amazingly well and I'm happy for you and your daughter that all was a success.

Ok I gotta ask....how did pushy mom react when you said they won't be invited again? Is she totally clueless and it went right by her? The look on her face?

I totally commend you for speaking up. I probably would have gritted my teeth and fake smiled..... and then be forced to field the phone call a year from now demanding to know why all her precious gems were not invited.

She laughed and than asked if I was kidding. I said no she asked why and I simply stated I did not appreciate her not listening to me nor my party rules and I excused myself from the conversation by saying I wished to give my more gracious guests a goodbye...she left quickly.

It was not my brightest moment but I feed and entertained fifty, sorry her extra made that 51 , kids in the very hot sun for hours and was tired and appalled by her and I did not care to know her any further. I was just done. i will apologize if my DD ever becomes great friends with her son but so far they are just acquaintances.

If the woman has any sense or manners she should call you with a big, heartfelt apology....but don't hold your breath. Kudos to you for being honest and direct with her...maybe she learned something today.

I am exhausted just reading your update. Having no kids, I've never been exposed to presumed adults who act this way. I just can't figure out how people get like this!

Anyway, it sounds like you pulled off a fabulous party, and the kids had a blast. Your responses to the woman were spot-on. It's not like you were rude to some random person in the grocery store. You told her repeatedly and she didn't listen. Don't waste another brain cell on her.

Unbelievable. Having watched parents and children interact for 30+ years in the school setting my guess would be the younger son was being IMPOSSIBLE at home and this parent had no ability to say NO to said sibling. She asked so she could LIVE with her son!!! Many parents are pushier "for their kids" than they would EVER be for themselves. It is people like YOU roarah who keep the world sane and on track. When the rest of us coddle these parents and play "polite" and not stick to our guns the world gets wacked out. She has no standing to ask of you FOUR TIMES for an added guest. You stood firm and I applaud you!!! Often these people are very aware the "polite" world will not push back at their RUDE behavior. This works every time for them!!! The late RSVP's astound me. It was sweet of you to have an alternative cup cake. But I have no patience for the world stopping for one child's allergy. THAT family/child needs to be responsible for their choices. She told you. You needed to tell her what at the party should be off limits for her child. At that point it is up to that child to NOT EAT IT. 50+ people, your schedule should be thrown out for one child's special request?? Sorry that is also out of hand in 'polite society'. I have lost my patience with all these special requests being honored. I was taught my rights/freedom stopped where another's begins. That means if I go anywhere and need EXTRA anything it is MY PROBLEM to deal with...not anyone else's or STAY HOME. Your response to the ball player was on target but I don't think you needed to offer a reason for the NO. I think "I appreciate your son wanting to celebrate with mine but we are not veering from the parties time line at this time., but we will be rooting for your sons game"., would have been fine. We don't really NEED to feel obligated to tell people why we are saying NO. It is possible this won't be over for you and this person if they hear you were around after the official party time ended. You don't need that addition to the rudeness after all your heroic efforts.

Similar to Robo, I almost broke my wrist getting this post to open fast enough to see what happened.

I also have no (human) kids, but was raised long ago, and I cannot picture any parents way back then who would be as obnoxious as that mom. And she's a repeat offender! To picture her asking you to find a swim vest for him is just so far beyond the call of duty. I hate to think what her kids will be like when they grow up.

I think any future photos of you will show a halo and angel wings.

The only thing I can see with the peanut allergy is that I believe some are so severe that just being in the same room could cause problems - but in that case don't RSVP with hours to spare!!!

Having had a kid with a food allergy (thankfully not severe and now outgrown), I am very sympathetic to those issues. Maybe because I am so grateful my son's allergies were not severe, but I really feel for kids who can't safely go places--we have a friend who's kid can have an anaphylactic reaction just from touching peanut anything. (And she would never ask anyone to change their plans for them, she would just adjust herself--i.e. provide safe food or not come.).

But when they RSVP no and change it at the last minute, then that's completely on the food allergy kids' mom to resolve. Honestly, I had a kid at dd's last party do this and it was a mess. I'm still frustrated and not sure I'll be doing anymore all class parties

I cannot believe how pushy that mom with the younger sibling was. And I cannot believe she actually asked why she wouldn't be invited back. That's some nerve. I am really sorry you had to deal with that.

It sounds like a really great event. Kudos for throwing the party for your daughter and her friends!

My daughter has an epipen and multiple food allergies and as an allergy mom I detest food bans. They make everyone complacent and give a false sense of safety and cause many to not carry their meds. Parents of school age allergy patients should not fight for bans but should fight for their children to be allowed to wear their medicine on their person rather than kept with a nearby adult who could be in the bathroom when an attack strikes and attacks will strike bans or no bans.

Less than 10Opeople per year die of all allergies, food, meds and insect and all were without their epipens. Thousands are hospitalized but if you have your meds on you your chances of surviving your food allergy are over 99 percent. I equate my daughter's food allergies to people with cancer. If one class mate has cancer the whole class should not and of coarse does not take chemo! I think many moms enjoy the attention they get from having a kid with allergies, a bit like manchasaun disorder. No one on record has ever died from a contact peanut allergy. The story of the girl who kissed a boy was proven upon autopsy to be false. She had an asthma attack.

Honestly, when all is said and done the baseball mom's request bothered me the most. We need our children to know life is a sequence of choices and contrary to the " women can have it all" propaganda we really can not have it all nor should we strive too. Compromise and sacrifices is what the real world is made of.

edited to add a 1983 study that linked false parent reports of children's allergies to meadow disorder( manchausen by proxi). This is even more prevalent now! http://adc.bmj.com/content/archdischild/59/2/151.full.pdf

Well done! It sounds like it was a lovely, civilized, memorable party despite the few manners-impaired parents.

It was not my brightest moment ... i will apologize if my DD ever becomes great friends with her son.

You did her a favor by calling her out on her BS. And she should have apologized to YOU rather than running out the door.

You are a saint.

My kids went to an elementary school with a lot of international kids. I was subjected to a lot of baffling parental behavior which I tried to chalk up to cultural differences. But for all I know those parents were jerks in their home country too.

Murder, mayhem, blunt responses....your post has it all! Loved hearing the pool party saga. Seven last minute rsvps? These must be on behalf of the kids raised by wolves. I applaud you for being blunt with the mother-of-the-year who finally got her young one into your pool and then invited herself to your next party.

Glad it went well. Now you can enjoy the fact that 50 kids had a blast and will remember the event for years to come.

None of the moms who bothered me are of the same ethnic background nor race but they are all financially well off. Sadly, the belief that our children are entitled to experience no disappointment or sadness is pandemic and color and culturally blind but I do believe economically influenced. As a parent and when I taught I saw it more in affluent and upper middle class people of all creeds though and not as often in the lower economic families. Entitled parents often raise entitled pushy and sadly often very successful children who will continue this horrible social cycle. I can only hope to not raise my kids to believe they deserve to take it all.

We have a family like that it in our midst. The daughter was a quintessential mean girl growing up and made the other kids cry. Unfortunately or fortunately, she, now26, turned out to be a Wall Street hotshot, and seemingly nice. I don't know what's under the surface tho. Hard to forget those nasty years.

We will call you Saint Roarah from now on. The party was a huge success.

Well done, roarah! You handled this entire thing beautifully and I admire you.

Well done roarah. Your restraint was admirable. I still would have said no to the horrible mom and her spoiled snowflake.

When we were house hunting years ago we refused to look at any house with a pool and this is why.

It is true that food allergy deaths are rare. Personally, we never requested a ban or any special accommodations except that ds not be given food he was allergic to (I provided safe food anytime it was appropriate.)

However, I know that in my friend's case, she worked with their allergist to come up with a plan to keep her kid safe at school and she asked for exactly what the doctor recommended. (Which was no nuts in the classroom and an epi nearby at all times for K. I'm sure it will be revisited as her kid gets older and either outgrows his allergies or is able to reliably self-administer an epi pen). I would be very hurt if I had followed a doctor's recommendation and another parent decided to use that as the basis for accusing me of maunchausen by proxy.

Roarah, you did an amazing job and write a compelling short story as well.

There is one request that for me takes the cake:

my kid can not come I will bring him to your house the next day for a swim.

Do they think you're a public facility? That you give out rain checks, refunds, offer reschedule opportunities at their convenience?

I did not mean to imply your friend has meadows. She is not asking for special consideration at others' homes. Your friend's doctor may be wrong as well for every doctor who suggests bans there are an equal,( Actually many more, for both the ACAAAI AND AAAAI are strongly against bans) who say we need allergic patients to learn to live in a contaminated environment because as my doctor says, it is not a matter of if your child will accidentally consume said allergens but when even with the bans.

Peanutbutter saves and improves many poor children's lives. It is an affordable, non perishable protein. It is a very important staple in SNAPs backpack program and without it many impoverished young children could fail to thrive. Is it ok to not allow such an important staple that helps 100 children because less than ten have an allergy? is one child's very treatable allergy more important than feeding many more hungry poor children? my daughter's allergies include peanuts but the other children in my house eat peanut butter regularly we just follow safety procedures and she has her epipen on her. She has been hospitalized for reactions and yes hers are life threatening. All her hospitalization reactions occurred in a class room with food bans not at home where we do not practice bans. everyone is allowed to eat what they are not allergic to but must wash hands and not share.

i left the PTA because two allergy moms insisted on this sign at our school. They failed to see the humor in it. It seems that nut allergies are so prevalent today that squirrels are suffering from them too. The gluten allergy mom had the sense to not push for a due to wheat allergies please do not feed the ducks!

Roarah, you're a saint! You made a wonderful memory for all those kids. And the rude moms' kids still have both parents. Ya done good!!

Go Roarah!!! Well done.

OMG, the gall of some people just floors me! You did good, though, and I'm glad you got through it without slapping any stupid mothers upside their head. Loved your response to the idiots.

You mentioned you had a previous party and some of this behavior was not NEW; but I wondered if so much entitlement, was on display because the party was a celebration of moving on for all. The party was a gift to each guest, a congratulations so the parents felt in order to get their child's gift they were entitled to make special requests???? It is just so SHOCKING to me what some of these families requested of you!!

Glad all went well. You handled it with class.

Wow I had to go back and read the original post - it was worth it! We live in an area that seems to breed a lot of entitlement and drama around this kind of stuff but your story definitely takes the cake. It must have been a massive headache to manage but it's super funny to read, because the parents are just so insane. @roarah you demonstrated far more patience and civility than I would have!

I am sure many kids that day had a super time, and especially yours.

Our kids get out early in June so we had our annual party a few weeks ago. Having now done this since pre-K, with my eldest a junior, I have become more zen about it every year. Especially with these large, sort of community-wide parties (rather than just your friends or your kid's friends), you will get all kinds.

I know that my kids and many other kids really greatly enjoy these parties and look forward to them. I know we are creating memories, and good clean wholesome fun (I remind my DH what friends of ours in other towns, esp. with kids in very large public schools, have happen at their high school parties!)

I just bitch a little under my breath at total strangers who show up (oh, she is so and so's sister .....) and mess up my food count. And I still want to know who left a plate with ketchup on it under the daybed in the dressing room!

All too soon, no one will want to party here at all. I keep telling myself. : )