Responsible for one's significant other debt?
wkate640
6 years ago
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Elmer J Fudd
6 years agoRelated Discussions
saving significant money?
Comments (21)wow, a lot of info.. on the plans that may not entirely and simplistically answer the question (s) in the first post. First I want to say thank you for your efforts in posting, second I only posted as I thought I found a site based on peoples large sf plans not being punished for needing or wanting that space were able to put their questions without contemptual responses. Those of you who chose to punish me, good luck, the rest of you thank you for your attempts but I guess I have left you with this vaqueness of my issues that I led you to believe I want to change everything. I have been working on these plans for 2 years and if I could have the dream home I would leave it adding some sf to the main floor master to make it a complete master. On the other hand, as of today, i called my architect I took off the porch roughly 30k, I took out atleast 2000 sf upstairs, I moved my rediculous bigass shower to the main floor and one closet, I combined the main bedroom with the study to create a master as I said in an earlier post. I reduced my fam room to 17 X 17. i got rid of the pantry and pushed dining room back and I took the garages and turned them all the same way in a row, since that room was moved. Admittedly the laundry room or mudroom is now too far away from the bedrooms so I am putting one in my master closet. I was looking to cut 100k 70K after the porch. My square foot per a builder is 90 the 75n was a reference from someone who said I had to use their plans. I said no. the house you all are in shock over was quoted at 525k others look at it for a half a second and say 625k I feel I could build it myself for 80k less than anyone. My family is handy one is elec. one is a plummer one is an ac person. I ran a total of 5 business none super successful but all had inventory and the inventory takes up a lot of my house. My dining, current formal liv, 2 car garage and 1/2 my basement are full and i currently live in a 2900 sf home. It is a nightmare, I've been here for 15 years hating every day of it. i just need some peace and ROOM. The space is more important than any finish other than my kitchen and since I like white it happens to be the cheapest of all the cabinets. ROOM ROOm ROOM!!! 3 children 2 dogs and 2 business' will stay but the inventory of 2 others will still take up a garage until it goes to ebay! The other bus will take up another garage and the other will take a room in the house and my current bedroom looks like an office and the office is filled to the ceiling. I can barely walk thru my house and unfortunately im not kidding. Everyone plays sports in the house, people attempt to come here on my day off and get haircuts and I'm too busy helping everyone in the world to get a handle on moving stuff that has no where to go....See MoreWhat did you look for in your significant other?
Comments (17)I am 50 now and have been single my entire adult life, which is about 32 years if you start counting at 18. I've had a few relationships, but only one of any substance even though I was in love a few times. Yes, sense of humor does always seem to be high on the list. I don't know about men, but I don't think women mean they want a comedien or joker for a partner. They want someone who is good natured, doesn't get all bent out of shape at every little thing, can laugh at himself and what life throws at you as a couple. This quality has been invaluable for me in my current dream relationship since I have been midly sick most of the time since we met. I was coughing so bad during our first date that other people I didn't even know in the bookstore cafe were coming up to me and saying, "Are you OK, my you sound terrible!" Did I say he was tenacious?! :) Actually, if you are interested in a long term loving relationship, I would say tenacity is a very important quality. Abject subborness is what has kept my parents together for 51 years. Neither one of them was willing to be the first one to blink, lol! Having dated my share of losers, I would say that what is needed besides what I have already mentioned, is good character. All the standard things we know go into that quality--kindness, concern for others, being a problem solver instead of a whiner, responsibility, integrity, common sense . . . (No wonder I never married, lol!) My honey is very patient, I consider that to be a godsend! He listens and takes my point of view into consideration. I can't abide by smoking for my own health's sake. Having someone who at least supports and encourages healthy habits is pretty important. I wouldn't want to get too fond of someone who smoked and drank, didn't exercise and ate junk food all the time. The piper will need to be paid at some point for those kinds of folks. I'm a very active person, and I'm finding I need someone who understands my need to be out and about and social. The don't always have to go with me, but don't expect me to sit at home too much. I like to nest, but only to a point. But that's just me. You don't have to have the same personality type or interests but you do have to be able to meld and mesh the differences together into something workable. You need some bottom line shared values. And . . . you need some things in common. Not all things, but some things you can enjoy together. As for physical attractiveness, that's a hard one to quanitfy. None of my boyfriends have looked anything alike. I can't say exactly what it is, but it is a combination of a person's physical features but also how they carry themselves and how their personality plays out into their appearance. Some people you don't much notice at first, pro or con, can grow on you as you get to know them. There are a lot of very physically attractive people I have met who have such a jerky or blah personality that I don't really find them all that attractive. On the flip side, there are some men that I have known who have all the great personality qualities I describe but I just haven't clicked with them. That one is always a mystery to me . . . One thing I always advise my male students if they confide in me or ask me for girlfriend advice is do not underestimate the power of desire, and I DON'T mean sexual desire. If a man wants to be with you and is willing to do what it takes to make you happy and make that happen, it is a powerful aphrodisiac. But it's a thin line to walk, because it is easy to do overkill and you look desparate and clingy. Women appreciate a man with a sense of forward momentum, who appear to be going somewhere with their lives. Desire mixed with a modest amount of confidence and sense of self is a potent mix. Not enough or too much of either spells jerk. What's a poor boy to do, lol!...See MoreMonthly Debt vs. Overall Debt (LONG)
Comments (13)What did she "pay" ... well, "agree to pay" for her new car when she bought it two years ago? And how much has she paid over all of those months between then and now? And how much does she still owe? If she goes to buy a new one, how much will the dealer allow her as trade-in on her current car (with the less-than-attractive side) as reduction in price of the new one? She'll be astonished at the amount that the dealer will allow her as trade-in on her car with the caved-in side when she goes to buy her new car. I'll bet that it'll be less than she still owes, probably quite a bit less. So that, if the new car's price may be, say, $18,000. ... ... she may end up owing something like $22,000. on her new loan. On the new car that she paid $18,000. for ... ... but now, even if only a week after she bought it, and without a mark on it, would be worth probably about $14,000. Two thirds of what she owes? Not my idea of a good time! Would she listen if you drew a set of patterns for her, showing (with approximate sizes relative to dollar amounts), of what she paid for her current car, how much she's paid over the 24 months, how much she still owes, how much difference there is between her cost, what she's paid, what it's "worth" now as allowance toward an upgrade, etc. And showing how she's paying so much monthly on her student loan, so much monthly on her car loan, splitting those two payments into principal repayment and interest components, running the interest stream off the edge of the paper, as lost. So - she's working about half of her time monthly for ... ... nothing. But - currently, she's not working, is she? So how does she make car payments? How long before they may repossess it ... ... leaving her walking. Which wouldn't happen if the loan was all liquidated. Working much of her time - to pay someone else rent for the use of their money. And as long as she uses other folks' money ... she'll have to pay rent on it. Which is money that could have stayed in her pocket, had she driven the nearly new car (with the stove-in side) longer ... ... until she's paid off all of the money that she'd borrowed to buy it. Which would mean that the amount that she would be allowed at trade-in would be all hers, instead of mostly (or all - or maybe even more than all) going to pay off the loan that she still owes on the current car. Which would mean that the amount that she would have to borrow on the new car would be much lower. So - if she were paying the same amount per month ... the loan would be paid off in short order. Then she could keep putting that amount away (or most of it) to pay off her student loan faster. Could you draw comparable sized boxes to the amount of value that each item is, with labels, and the proportion of it that's hers, etc.? When we get stuck in a snow bank, we can do a lot of spinning wheels back and forth, with little result. Except burning a lot of gas. Wear and tear on tires. Wasting time. And, if we're not careful, when using an automatic transmission, burning up the transmission. And getting where? Nowhere! And getting not just ourselves, but people sitting in the car with us, more than likely, somewhat bent out of shape with irritability. Smells a lot like this situation, doesn't it? Just some thoughts. Or ... would you call it my whine? ole joyful...See MoreIs your retired'significant other' harder to live with now?
Comments (27)I love the box idea. Must get one soon. DH of 26 years leaves things everywhere. Right now there's a coffee mug on the bedroom nightstand, socks on the chair, newspapers in two locations, TV and computer parts still in boxes in the dining room. I will get that big box, pick up and place everything in it. Then just wait for him to ask "where's the TV satellite tuner that came the other day?" In the box,darling. When we were first married, he'd get home from work and remove and toss his clothing as he walked in and up towards the bedroom. There would be a tie in the living room, shirt on a chair, undershirt in the bathroom, shoes and socks in four different spots. And, being a good little wifey, I would gather everything, launder as needed, then place in the closet or drawer where it came from. He didn't seem to notice,but he did expect the maid service to continue. After a while, I was exhausted from taking care of him AND two kids AND working 52 hours a week. So instead of picking up after him, I went thru the house and stuffed all his clothes under the bed. After about a week, he ran out of socks and underwear. He asked me if I had seen his stuff. Look undewr the bed, dear. That cured him, at least partially. From then on, he'd put all his clothes on one chair. (I tried a hamper,it was too much effort to lift the lid,I guess.) But at least the mess was confined. And when I did laundry all I had to do was take everything off the chair. Now I must get a BIG BOX....See Morewkate640
6 years agoElmer J Fudd
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoUser
6 years agosedona16
6 years agoElmer J Fudd
6 years agowkate640
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6 years agoDanielle Crowley
6 years agosedona16
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