Thanks so much for the help! See .. I thought feeding all of those cats out of one big feeder is very wrong too. Thanks for validating one of my concerns. We have the five dogs and there is no way I'd feed them out of one big dish, they all have their own dishes and a few their own eating areas due to when they were strays it caused food aggression issues with other dogs ( not people ). If left to their own being fed out of a large dish, the food aggression dogs would drive the others out and fights would ensue to regain the bowl .. basically everything that's happening to this cat. So, I do blame the people for not getting involved on her behalf. She's an adult cat, my DH ( who had cats as a child ) thinks she's maybe 6 - 8 years old ?? I think right now I'm going to try to get her back into shape, she's eating for me and she seems very content to hang out down here now. As we sat on the porch last night, she hung out on my DH's lap and soaked up the attention. We live in NC and it's been one of the hardest states hit by unemployment, the papers are filled with people giving away their animals. The rescues and humane socities are also filled .. we went through the whole thing with trying to find Daisy ( the Basset my DHbrought home last year ) a home or into rescue and never could, so we just kept her. I'm also going to call and talk to our vet about a dewormer for her, they'll be able to give me an idea how much it would run and if they need to see her first. They are pretty good about giving us a break when the animal is a stray, they did with Daisy and her whole heart worm treatment. Thanks again everyone, hopefully we can get her looking a little better soon :)

"his ex hates my husband she is not sad they they are not together. She likes to cause trouble though." I didn't mean that she is pining away for him, but you said, "My husband was fooling around with the mother of his other child for years on top of everything to start off. I stayed with my husband because I believe in love and 2nd chances." & I thought you are saying that he was fooling around with the mother of this 8 year old & if he was doing that while he was seeing you, then yes this child saw his parents 'together' at least in some way, unless they were so sly that they hid it from their own child. And even if the mother hates him & is not sad, that does not mean she does not let her son know how angry she is (anger is also a feeling that is much easier to express than hurt, so who knows if she truly hates him or is hurt he finally ended it with her and married you) but I'm sure the child picks up on those feelings because children are little sponges & know more than most people give them credit for. If mommy is angry all the time at daddy, of course it's going to affect how he feels about daddy's house & the new wife, baby, etc. "I think that it's good to be proactive and encourage my stepson to be nice to my son. I don't try to force it upon him. To me to encourage him to love his brother should be a good thing. I agree that yes he is eight and may be frustrated which is understandable. I just don't think that it should be ok that he takes it out on my 2 year old son. If their our any mothers out there you know how you are protective over your children no matter who it might be. If it was my neice , my friend son. I would not stand them to be nasty to my children." If you want to protect your 2 year old, then never allow the 8 year old to be alone with him. It's THAT simple. If dad refuses to acknowledge the problem, then it rests with YOU to protect the baby & make sure he's always in your sight when big brother is around. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a happy little family, but if he (the 8 year old) does not want that, it is going to backfire to force it. I believe he does know right from wrong & he has anger, resentment issues... maybe from how his mother expresses, directly or inadvertently. He is manipulative if he changes face when dad comes around the corner & I agree with Sylvia that is a dangerous child that does that. (reminiscent of "the good son") Lovehadley has a great point that leaving is probably not the best idea since the child only comes over every other weekend and leaving could place the younger child in jeopardy when he would visit. The bottom line is that unless mom & dad are willing to work together to find out why their son is so aggressive & deal with it, then the only solution is to never allow your baby to alone with him. Yes, he was part of the package as you & your kids were part of a package, but YOU and your DH accepted each other's package... the kids don't get a choice. He didn't choose the package so how can you expect him to accept you as you've accepted him. You are the adult.

Seems to just be a random post with no return? Scrub it!. We have all lived, well at least i have, in rentals when young. Scrub and scrub. A degreaser with lots of rinsing with water and scrub again. Your friends are hanging in the kitchen because that is where the booze is, lol. A nice thrift store bar cart parked just outside the kitchen in the living room might help social flow. Does your landlord know about the ceiling? Is another tenant upstairs? Or is your bathroom upstairs? A slow leak needs to be fixed. A scrape and paint is just a 'bandaid' solution hiding the festering disease. It could be a simple tub caulking with a bad shower curtain above. And like mentioned could be a serious heath hazard. I would not spend much money. Some landlords will chip in with paint purchase if you do the work. Just ask. It does need scrubbing first. Even the best primer might struggle with all the grease buildup. Visit sites like retro-renovation and apartment therapy for easy low cost ideas. You do not need to spend lots of cash to have an adorable kitchen. Clean, un-cluttered, a fresh batch of solid towels, pale blue, red, orange. Maybe your rent is low but don't be afraid to ask. Or let them know about a leak. If they don't care, just scrape the ceiling and make do with cleaning. Save your money to move on...asap. Move the microwave to the booze counter next to the fridge. Invest in a few things that you can take with you. A nice big cutting board, next to stove. Bon Ami and Bar Keepers Friend are good powder cleaners that do not scratch surfaces. It is such a cute kitchen and tons of storage. And the fridge opens in the correct direction! (so rare, lol) Take a very wet sponge and soak the wallpaper border a few times over a few hours. (in a small test spot). It might just peal off easy, especially if the paint is an old hard glossy oil. And do not paint without telling your landlord. He just might have paint from other projects that he is willing to give for nothing. If your cabinets and walls are greasy and old oil paint, they need proper prep. Primer before an inexperienced latex application. It will peel and be a bigger mess. Relationships and friends are so much more important. Embrace what you have...but at least scrub it! (should take about 4-6 hours.)

Interesting. OK - P TW,,I wonder if there isn't a good deal more to pruning hydrangeas in general to maintain upright strong stems. Maybe others have something to add to this too. I remember having a bit of a chat about Bobo hydrangeas on another thread last year and someone saying they wanted to prune to "create a supportive framework". I had noticed some regular Bobos at some stores stood upright, while at other stores they flopped. It seemed to me that those that had been pruned while young, had branched into twice as many stems, and were far more self supporting. The overall look was a much more upright plant. I purchased two that were more branched on the bottom 1/3 of the plant and left the floppy ones at the store last year. This year I purchased my third bobo and it was a floppy mess, but judging by what I'd seen with the two I have purchased the year before I wasn't put off. The nicely branched ones from last year are perfectly self supporting now, and any stems that were not pre-branched low I had cut back to encourage branching and they have grown stronger. I figured I'd just cut these floppy stems of my new one back to half and that would encourage them to grow into twice or three times as many stems next spring. Perhaps this sort of post purchase surgery is necessary even if we buy a "pre-trained, pre-pruned" standard as well.