Mike, You pointed it out to me, but it wasn't you who convinced me to not trust manufacturer data, it was the data. In addition to the Sequence mistake I saw one in the Danner data too. That was a pretty small survey and I didn't look that close at the remaining material. So, yeah, looked pretty untrustworthy to me. I don't think manufacturers are doing this intentionally, just lack of caring on their part and also on the part of customers. Apparently few people are checking the data or care enough to complain. Most manufacturers don't even bother to provide any data and that sure doesn't seem to hurt sales. Seems like most people just go by the max watts and call it a day. If I had a way of knowing a manufacturer was understating or accurately stating performance I'd go with them too. And the way you figure which are and which aren't? Can only be from experience of using lots of pumps from lots of manufacturers and performing exact tests yourself on each, keeping careful records and then hope they don't change something the next time you buy a pump. Listen to some opinions online? I haven't been that impressed with opinions over the course of my life no matter the source so I have to pass on that. For me it can't really be both ways. Manufacturer data can't be suspect and also be used to make decisions. I'd feel like I'd be kidding myself. That's just me. I think I'll just go with the crowd and use the max watt and GPH too. Maybe at some point I'll test pumps myself and return pumps that don't perform as expected.

I think this is fairly typical behavior for some gtandparents. The older child is ignored because the new baby is here. It doesn't always have a thing to do with whether or not the older child is blood or step kin. They may not be aware of what the older child may feel. Perhaps you do need to say something like, "you don't seem to be paying as much attention to _______ as you once did. She is puzzled and can't understand it. Can you help make it easier for her?" Perhaps they would be willing to take her to a movie from time to time. If they ignore your request, then you need to try to make things a little easier for her with a little extra attention when they come to visit. Explain that many adults go nuts over new babies.

"but verbally I am finding he can be mean and yells at them unnecessarily" Remember this. He can be mean, and he yells at people he loves. With you, he may still be on his 'good behavior' -- but you can be sure he will revert to THIS behavior with you if you stay with him long enough. "So my question is, would I be wrong in speaking to him about this?" Wrong? No - But I'd suspect it would be pretty pointless if affecting a change is what you're after, and you'd be likely to get a pretty nasty response for your trouble. Might be worth a try, just to see if he's capable of recognizing the error of his ways. "I am starting to lose respect for him the more I see him overreact and I would hate to walk away from a great relationship because of that. " The first part of this sentence is so clear -- but the second part sucks! If he's verbally mean, the relationship is unlikely to stay 'great'. He's showing you a very valid reason for walking away. "One more thought about BF... his childhood was kinda lousy, mom died young, has an unemotional father and had to grow up fast having a kid when he was 18 in high school (among many other things)." I get it -- It's not his fault... Actually, my Ex had an almost identical back-story, and I cut him a lot of slack for that reason. But at the end of the day, the *reasons* for Ex's jerk-hood don't matter -- it's the unchanging, continued existence of the abusive behavior that's the problem. My current (wonderful) husband didn't have a decent father either -- but instead of repeating his own father's bad behavior, he set a higher standard for himself -- an idealized one, but one he constantly strives for. You've seen a *very valuable* glimpse into your BF's character. Please DON'T rationalize it away or excuse it into insignificance. If your goal is to 'get This Guy to marry you' -- then fine -- leave it alone. (Repent at leisure...) But if your goal is to someday enjoy a happy and loving marriage to a wonderful guy, then *remember* what you've seen, make a mental note that This Guy has 'Strike One' against being that Mr Wonderful, suggest a need for a change, and watch carefully for signs of *real* change before moving forward with this relationship.

Iam going though the same thing. He complains about everything my daughters do. My 2 daughters 20 and 30 and my 7 Grandbaby. He does not talk to them for days. Every night when we go to bed he starts to bitch about them from they eat all the food, they r lazy and wht doesn’t my oldest get child support I tell him that is her business not ours. Well a couple week ago he told them to start paying rent 300.00 a each. They only make 9.00 my 20 pays To own car payment insurance and credit cards, my 30 old pays her bills and the day care bill of 400 a month. I told him they can’t afford that he don’t care and if they don’t like it they move out. He get mad if I buy anything for them. He says u always get defensive I tell I don’t I just don’t know why u treat them like that. They don’t disrespect you. In the other hand they stay in there rooms to not bother you. If they come to talk to me he starts asking wht do they want. He like making fun of my granddaughter( calling a cry baby) and my 20 (making fun of her weight)I tell him to stop and plays it off like I am kidding. Well two weeks ago my daughter told me she can afford the 300 she said I can afford 150. I thought buy telling her to go speak to her step dad he would listen and respect that she came to him and. It to me. I was listening to her explain the situation well he said that’s not my problem and just kept repeating it. Well she started crying and she told him. Why do u treat us like dirt. W you hve never like us and I hate the way u treat mom. Yes she did get load then I stepped in. He lost it and told to pack her stuff and get out. Then told me it’s them or me in front of her. She apologized to me saying she does not what to ruin my marriage. Well my girls r moving out at the end of the month but that is still not good enough. Now he is saying I don’t want them to come over. I was really. Now my son came to visit and he is telling me he is not staying here. I told him he is staying this week to help her sister with daycare. He was who gave him permission I was what. It turn into a huge fight. He said they do what ever they want to do. Mind me he has not spoken one work to him cause he is still mad at my youngest for the fight they had. He told if u don’t tell him to leave buy Sunday Iam going to. I was wtf. Those r my kids and this is my house. He said again Iam tried we should separate i was like look if that’s why u want go ahead. I know u hate my kids. He stayed quite and goes into the room and sulks. Iam i wrong for defending my kids. They have never disrespected him. Iam so over this fight with him.