Must be more than one HH around. There was not a single Paph to be seen in their greenhouse. John Leathers and Gary Meyer focus on Dracula and Masdevallias. John may have one of the better coccinea collection in the country. Gary and John together probably know more about Dracula than anyone in America. (J&L are pretty much up to speed on these also). The third partner, Bob Hamilton's special interest is Odontoglosums and their hybrids. At this time of the year, when they are in bloom, it is not safe to go there, a spectacular display. Brought a few these home, another reason to stock up on dog food. The only safe way to go there is to leave your cash, check book and plastic at home. Nick

"but verbally I am finding he can be mean and yells at them unnecessarily" Remember this. He can be mean, and he yells at people he loves. With you, he may still be on his 'good behavior' -- but you can be sure he will revert to THIS behavior with you if you stay with him long enough. "So my question is, would I be wrong in speaking to him about this?" Wrong? No - But I'd suspect it would be pretty pointless if affecting a change is what you're after, and you'd be likely to get a pretty nasty response for your trouble. Might be worth a try, just to see if he's capable of recognizing the error of his ways. "I am starting to lose respect for him the more I see him overreact and I would hate to walk away from a great relationship because of that. " The first part of this sentence is so clear -- but the second part sucks! If he's verbally mean, the relationship is unlikely to stay 'great'. He's showing you a very valid reason for walking away. "One more thought about BF... his childhood was kinda lousy, mom died young, has an unemotional father and had to grow up fast having a kid when he was 18 in high school (among many other things)." I get it -- It's not his fault... Actually, my Ex had an almost identical back-story, and I cut him a lot of slack for that reason. But at the end of the day, the *reasons* for Ex's jerk-hood don't matter -- it's the unchanging, continued existence of the abusive behavior that's the problem. My current (wonderful) husband didn't have a decent father either -- but instead of repeating his own father's bad behavior, he set a higher standard for himself -- an idealized one, but one he constantly strives for. You've seen a *very valuable* glimpse into your BF's character. Please DON'T rationalize it away or excuse it into insignificance. If your goal is to 'get This Guy to marry you' -- then fine -- leave it alone. (Repent at leisure...) But if your goal is to someday enjoy a happy and loving marriage to a wonderful guy, then *remember* what you've seen, make a mental note that This Guy has 'Strike One' against being that Mr Wonderful, suggest a need for a change, and watch carefully for signs of *real* change before moving forward with this relationship.

Iam going though the same thing. He complains about everything my daughters do. My 2 daughters 20 and 30 and my 7 Grandbaby. He does not talk to them for days. Every night when we go to bed he starts to bitch about them from they eat all the food, they r lazy and wht doesn’t my oldest get child support I tell him that is her business not ours. Well a couple week ago he told them to start paying rent 300.00 a each. They only make 9.00 my 20 pays To own car payment insurance and credit cards, my 30 old pays her bills and the day care bill of 400 a month. I told him they can’t afford that he don’t care and if they don’t like it they move out. He get mad if I buy anything for them. He says u always get defensive I tell I don’t I just don’t know why u treat them like that. They don’t disrespect you. In the other hand they stay in there rooms to not bother you. If they come to talk to me he starts asking wht do they want. He like making fun of my granddaughter( calling a cry baby) and my 20 (making fun of her weight)I tell him to stop and plays it off like I am kidding. Well two weeks ago my daughter told me she can afford the 300 she said I can afford 150. I thought buy telling her to go speak to her step dad he would listen and respect that she came to him and. It to me. I was listening to her explain the situation well he said that’s not my problem and just kept repeating it. Well she started crying and she told him. Why do u treat us like dirt. W you hve never like us and I hate the way u treat mom. Yes she did get load then I stepped in. He lost it and told to pack her stuff and get out. Then told me it’s them or me in front of her. She apologized to me saying she does not what to ruin my marriage. Well my girls r moving out at the end of the month but that is still not good enough. Now he is saying I don’t want them to come over. I was really. Now my son came to visit and he is telling me he is not staying here. I told him he is staying this week to help her sister with daycare. He was who gave him permission I was what. It turn into a huge fight. He said they do what ever they want to do. Mind me he has not spoken one work to him cause he is still mad at my youngest for the fight they had. He told if u don’t tell him to leave buy Sunday Iam going to. I was wtf. Those r my kids and this is my house. He said again Iam tried we should separate i was like look if that’s why u want go ahead. I know u hate my kids. He stayed quite and goes into the room and sulks. Iam i wrong for defending my kids. They have never disrespected him. Iam so over this fight with him.

kkny - I agree that these things should be discussed beforehand. Too many people jump into remarriage without sorting out the details, and expensive tuition payments are one HUGE detail. Before I married DH, we talked about tuition and all expenses associated with his children. I do not mind contributing to his daughter's braces, education or enhanced lifestyle, and I know that my feelings stem from the fact that I had a choice in the matter. Not sure about CS... I think it varies depending on location, but where I am, the lifestyle of the children (and thus support) is based only on the income of the paying parent and not on household income. But there again, I knew how much CS he was paying before I married him; I knew he was planning to increase CS on a yearly basis (he is now paying much more than the order stipulates, there is no way his ex would want to involve the law -- she'll end up oweing him a lot), and again, because we discussed it beforehand, I felt like I had a choice.