Must be more than one HH around. There was not a single Paph to be seen in their greenhouse. John Leathers and Gary Meyer focus on Dracula and Masdevallias. John may have one of the better coccinea collection in the country. Gary and John together probably know more about Dracula than anyone in America. (J&L are pretty much up to speed on these also). The third partner, Bob Hamilton's special interest is Odontoglosums and their hybrids. At this time of the year, when they are in bloom, it is not safe to go there, a spectacular display. Brought a few these home, another reason to stock up on dog food. The only safe way to go there is to leave your cash, check book and plastic at home. Nick

Mike, You pointed it out to me, but it wasn't you who convinced me to not trust manufacturer data, it was the data. In addition to the Sequence mistake I saw one in the Danner data too. That was a pretty small survey and I didn't look that close at the remaining material. So, yeah, looked pretty untrustworthy to me. I don't think manufacturers are doing this intentionally, just lack of caring on their part and also on the part of customers. Apparently few people are checking the data or care enough to complain. Most manufacturers don't even bother to provide any data and that sure doesn't seem to hurt sales. Seems like most people just go by the max watts and call it a day. If I had a way of knowing a manufacturer was understating or accurately stating performance I'd go with them too. And the way you figure which are and which aren't? Can only be from experience of using lots of pumps from lots of manufacturers and performing exact tests yourself on each, keeping careful records and then hope they don't change something the next time you buy a pump. Listen to some opinions online? I haven't been that impressed with opinions over the course of my life no matter the source so I have to pass on that. For me it can't really be both ways. Manufacturer data can't be suspect and also be used to make decisions. I'd feel like I'd be kidding myself. That's just me. I think I'll just go with the crowd and use the max watt and GPH too. Maybe at some point I'll test pumps myself and return pumps that don't perform as expected.

I think this is fairly typical behavior for some gtandparents. The older child is ignored because the new baby is here. It doesn't always have a thing to do with whether or not the older child is blood or step kin. They may not be aware of what the older child may feel. Perhaps you do need to say something like, "you don't seem to be paying as much attention to _______ as you once did. She is puzzled and can't understand it. Can you help make it easier for her?" Perhaps they would be willing to take her to a movie from time to time. If they ignore your request, then you need to try to make things a little easier for her with a little extra attention when they come to visit. Explain that many adults go nuts over new babies.

Since both girls are the same age, it seems reasonable that they should have the same rules and limits, and if the rules and limits are to be truly effective, they have to be enforced all the time, consistently. Obvious, huh? Stating this may be a way to broach the topic of discipline in a general way that helps resolve things constructively. If you can then discuss parenting and discipline strategies unemotionally -- without alleging favoritism -- then you may be able to make some improvements. Alleging favoritism is a hot button. You may be right -- but it'll shut down a productive discussion before it can even start. Your husband will be offended and angry if you accuse him of being unfair -- So don't do it! Avoid putting him on the defensive and remain calm at all costs. You may even want to admit that you know it's your daughter that's more of a handful, but state that you're looking for discipline strategies that you can both agree on and both implement consistently. This may be a case when talking with a child therapist can help. You do have two girls with very different temperaments, so finding an effective, loving, consistent discipline strategy that works for both will be a challenge. But they do exist. And if you both can get on the same page about what the rules will be in your household, and how rule enforcement will be handled for both girls, then things will begin get better. In general, I tend to agree with the "each parent disciplines his/her own child" camp, but since your kids were infants when you two married, I think this may call for an exception. ASSUMPTION -- I just realized - I'm assuming both girls are living with you two full-time? If his daughter is "just visiting", then I'd go back into the "each parent disciplines his/her own child" camp. Because if his daughter lives with her mom most of the time, he could very easily be starting from a "guest mentality," which has a totally different dynamic. If he has limited time with his daughter, he's not going to want to "spoil" that precious time by disciplining her. And you'd need to acknowledge the reasonableness of his feelings about not making his daughter's time there unpleasant. You could then use that as a springboard into a discussion about the difficult position that puts your own daughter in. But given that this issue has already become contentious, I'd have the discussions with a child psychologist. Your DH needs to reach his own conclusions about disciplining his own "visiting" daughter appropriately. Once he's on the way there, then it's time to work in a way to make it 'fair' to both girls.