I do think she passed these on deliberately. So, yes, I'll keep them. And hope, that even if my nieces (early 20's now) don't want them now, one or the other will want them later on. Thanks.

I totally "get" a younger generation not wanting to be saddled with the old but well made furniture of bygone generations . . .

I wholeheartedly agree with this statement, whether it be small mementos or a huge piece of furniture. Your not linking their respect for your mom's memory to their accepting that spoon set or anything else your mom may have left for you is so smart. I also think that offering the spoon set to your nieces is a good idea---maybe they are collectors or maybe they feel sentimental about them because they were your mom's. We can't presume to know how someone else will respond, so no harm in asking. And your respecting their choice---whether to keep or not keep the items in question---will be appreciated. (If you've ever had someone try to insist or emotionally blackmail you into taking something you don't want, you know what I mean.)

I am imagining your nieces grandchildren being THRILLED to have them..how one manages to get the to THEM is the question.

I'm doing this right now, as I sort through Dad's basement. I found some things from his folks and their business that I'm packing up and passing on to various cousins. I'm considering relationships, initials, etc! My hope is that they will pass it on to their children. But besides passing on the object and lore, I am passing on the responsibility and sentimentality. They can choose how to manage those themselves.

at the same time, my DMIL is sorting through HER things. She has put great thought into how to dispose of various items, and is giving them as Christmas and birthday gifts. Each item goes to a child, child-in-law, or grandchild, with a note about where the item came from and why she is giving it to that person. Makes it very special, and adds to the "provenance".

Thank you, bpathome. I am hoping my nieces are interested. Once and if they take them, it will be up to them how they are handled. I like your idea of putting in a note about provenance.

And, Arcy, I am trying to figure this out.

I just saw how a younger person decorated with her mother's commemorative spoon collection, but I cannot remember where I saw it...sorry...but they put the display on the wall in the kitchen and then put some of the spoons directly on the wall as if they were flying out of the display.

Artemis, and by provenance it's even little things like " I know you went to Croatia this summer summer, perhaps you would like this ascot your grandad wore on his trip to then Serbo-Croatia, and here's a picture and the program from the event he attended there."

I excavated an old silver key ring of my grandmother's, with her initials on a tiny heart. I'm going to pass it on to one of her great-granddaughters. I don't think I'll polish it first, I think the tarnish is part of the charm and proof of its age, but I hope the recipient will polish it.

I think I would polish up the spoons and take a picture of them at their finest and ask your nieces directly if either think they might be interested in them. They might not be now, so even if they don't, I'd still keep them and maybe by the time you die one of them might change her mind. But maybe one will surprise you and be thrilled even now. I'd write the note about their history and also include a picture of your grandmother if you have one. Oh, and if you know what they were used for (dessert spoons maybe?) include that info, when you write or email them, too.

You just have to hope that they both want them! There will be a dilemma.

Bpathome, that's great. My grandmother was a prolific crocheter, mostly handkerchiefs. I have several, and give them to her great grandchildren to carry on their wedding day. I select based on their wedding colors.

I went through this with my mother's things. My siblings were only interested in things that had some monetary value, and only 2 of my nieces/nephews wanted any memento of their grandmother. I know that when was a teenager I didn't think that such things were of value to me, but in my early twenties I was given a set of 78's that had belonged to my great-grandmother (for whom I was named) and just felt that I ought to keep them. Now since I have spent some time learning about my family history, I am glad that I have them, and wish that I had something of each of my other great-grandparents.

Packaging the spoons with a photo or two, and any story that you can tell about both her and your mother, especially if it relates to the spoons, is a great idea. Don't dispose of them unless you absolutely have to, because in middle age they may regret not having them!

I did have a pretty silver filigree oblong pendant necklace, set with a square of lapis, that also belonged to my great-grandmother -- she had brought it with her from Russia. I wore it for my wedding. Unfortunately, it was stolen the first of the eight times my home was burglarized when I lived in San Diego County. (So, if any of you SoCal residents ever come across something like it at a thrift store or antique market, please let me know!)

I've been surprised by the things my kids want that belonged to my grandmothers. I had a crocheted doily thing that apparently my grandmother had kept on her mantel. It just didn't work for me and I put it away, since it had belonged to her. My DD and I were at a flea market one day and she mentioned she wanted to find something to cover her bedside table and I ended up giving her that doily-she LOVES it.

I had a copy of a photograph of my other grandmother and my son wanted it. That surprised me, but he said he had nothing that tied him to his roots. It's funny what you just don't want, but the generation a couple down from ours might love to have it, especially if it's got some provenance.

When I looked at your spoons, I thought they might be repurposed into jewelry or something fun, perhaps your neices would enjoy that instead? I like to take old things and repurpose them, I've made frames from the backs of my great grandmothers dining chairs and used the legs to make candlesticks. I had no use for the chairs-and they were old and needed repairing, but I was still able to keep them in my home in a new way.

"But besides passing on the object and lore, I am passing on the responsibility and sentimentality. They can choose how to manage those themselves."

No, you are not passing on the sentimentality-that belongs only to the person who made the object his/her talisman, not to anyone else. And I'd say it's not passing on responsibility, it is passing on an order to be responsible to keep somebody else's memories, which is unreasonable and unrealistic.

The fact is, just because (for example) someone went to Croatia doesn't mean they want an elderly relatives souvenirs from the relative's trip to Croatia-for pete's sake that's ridiculous-they have their own souvenirs and memories and almost certainly don't need or want anyone else's! I get that some things are worth keeping but the hard truth is that in an entire household of *stuff*, especially stuff with nothing but sentimental value only to the one who carefully hoarded/collected the stuff, almost all of it will have no meaning to anyone else nor should it. Everyone makes their own memories and everyone has their own talismans. I firmly believe it is unfair and wrong to try to force people to take on those objects of others'. And I will never put a burden on my family to take on mine, when I am gone the meaning is also gone other than what THEY decide they want to keep to remember me or the times we had together.

And I also know this is one of those perpetual differences of viewpoints so the sentimental nut-gatherers aren't going to have their minds swayed. However they are pretty likely to have feelings hurt because most folks, especially today, simply won't tolerate having grandma's 'treasures' foisted on them to keep in perpetuity, nor should they.

Running, just btw and fiy, there was a whole lot more to the ascot than the Croatia connection. The selection of whether to offer something to someone, and to whom, and why, and would that person even want it, are always top considerations.