Is there such a thing as a mother of the bride shower/party?

9 years ago

My best friend's oldest daughter is getting married at the end of the year, we've been best friends since we were 12 and we're 49 now. I want to do something for her & just wondered if this was a thing?

Featured Answer

Amber Winborn
Original Author

9 years ago

Ha ha! Oh God no, not giving gifts, she'd die! There's nothing to gift the MOB anyway, unless it's your extra xanax prescription. I was just thinking more along the lines of a lunch with her as special guest...maybe some fun games like choosing her future grandmother name, etc.

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (10)

gellchom
9 years ago
It's not a thing as far as I know; have you ever heard of it?

I don't think that a shower would be appropriate -- assuming you mean a real shower, at which the guests would give her gifts.

I would suggest instead to offer to help with the wedding somehow: host/cohost a shower for her daughter or an engagement party; host some other event the weekend of the wedding; host out of town guests; prepare hospitality bags for guests staying in hotels; bake for the reception or hospitality room; etc. -- there is usually a lot to do. That's what my close friends and I have always done for each other when our children get engaged. We've never held any kind of party for the MOB or MOG herself as guest of honor; it would seem kind of strange, especially if gifts were expected.

But I think it would be really nice to take her out to lunch or something to celebrate, perhaps with a few other close friends or just the two of you.
littlebug zone 5 Missouri
9 years ago
I sincerely hope not. I get invited to enough showers already.
Related Discussions
Appropriate for bridal shower at the mother of the bride's house?
Q
Comments (28)
Perhaps the difference between "couple shower" and "couples shower" is a matter of the ear.....they sound very much the same.....actually it's a lot more difficult to say "couples shower"....so the error was likely mine. And also men are invited....both men who are part of a "couple" and single men friends....with or without a date. Anyhow I think it's a lovely custom....the party given fro my daughter at a friends house on a lovely summer evening, featured jugs of wine set in ice filled copper boilers around the yard and the deck, and similar onef filled with beer. Dinner was a chicken casserole...probably a salad and rolls....don't remember dessert but if I know the friends who gave the shower, probably wedding cake. There were about 80 people invited and each couple was asked to contribute a small amount and the hostesses bought a lovely Wallace silver coffee service. tray coffee pot, tea pot, cream and sugar. It sits on my daughter's buffet server and is used for Christmas Easter, Birthdays and other occasions I am sure. I don't know how the custom got started but it's been the custom among my circle of friends. I have given several, one time it was a back yard hamburger cook out and the gift was a very nice grill, another time it was a fancy cocktail buffet for 80 people ( my house was bursting!) and the gift was the bride's china...not all of it but a couple of place settings of Lenox, another time we did a garden party with oven fried chicken potato salad, beans slaw and strawberry shortcake and the gift was a piece of antique oak furniture. All the parties were given by 2 ior 3 couples and we did all the cooking. We had lots of fun! Linda C
...See More
Newest Mother of the Bride Thread Update
Q
Comments (7)
It's funny, I grew up with a mom who always had her clothing altered but somehow I have never thought of it. Quite a few of the dresses were close but no cigar........ and this one I kept coming back to (and other than the no jacket ).. as I said the neckline was really ok but I am well endowed and just didn't want any cleavage to show. When I took it to the dressmaker, she at first just suggested raising the shoulders. Then we looked a bit more and she ended up doing a lot more (as I said, the armhole tweaking and the bra snaps so the cap sleeves can be more extended over the shoulders).... but I know it will look like perfection. The dress was quite reasonable, so even adding on quite a bit for the alterations it is still palatable. for shoes, I am at this point going to try for a strappy sort of wedge (for comfort, and for the lawn)... in either silver, navy, or some other metallic....... it will have a lot to do with comfort. I don't really expect to wear a purse much, but I am leaning towards using a really pretty beaded evening purse from my mom which is white with some pastel flowers. I know it's not a perfect match, but I think it will feel nice for me to have her purse at the wedding. ( She' passed in 2004). At least that is what I think for now.
...See More
What does 'support and love' on the bride's big day REALLY mean?
Q
Comments (18)
Hi dana gardener - I am wondering, what do you want to do? Do you really want to go or do you feel that it is an obligation? Even if it is an obligation it doesn't matter as long as you strongly desire to be there for someone you Love and want to support and share in the person's special day. This is what counts. However, if you cannot afford this trip with all the expenses involved, even if you want to be there, then I would express that in a note to the Bride with a gift that you can afford. No one should feel "forced" to attend when it will be so costly to do so. You may feel bad for not going if you truly desire to share in this Blessed event but you should also feel free and not guilty if you decide not to go because of the financial, emotional, etc. stress that it will cause you. No matter what decision you make it is your right to do so whether you go or not.
...See More
Shower for out of town bride
Q
Comments (49)
I had the same dilemma. My daughter moved from NJ to California in January and we needed to get creative as far as planning her shower. Because she had to fly in from California the shower was brunch style on Saturday and her bridesmaids and friends had her bachelorette party that night. When I was researching proper etiquette on showers and how to handle the gifts, I found this board. I started to panic when I read some of the responses about not having a shower if the guests can't bring their gifts, or the pay $100 of dollars to ship. The best one was to return all the gifts and re-buy them. Well we didn't do any of that and the guests loved what we did... so here it goes. I wanted to post so anyone else who reads this board can have a good option. On the invitation we wrote: To make _______'s flight home easier, if purchasing a gift, please ship directly to: >>>>> and we put the brides address. For fun!! Wrap a photo or token of the gift you sent to open at the shower. Note: Most stores that would be on a registry offer free shipping. A lot of people teamed up and put their orders together to qualify for free shipping . The bride then set all the packages aside as they got delivered before the shower and she promised not to open. At the shower, when it came time to open presents, it was so much fun to see how creative people were. My sister in-law bought the silverware and wrapped up a set of silver plastic ware and had photos of the actual set. Everyone got to see all the beautiful gifts, and it was fun. At the end of the shower so many people commented that it was the best shower they have been too. They got to see the surprised look on the brides face when opening the gifts. When the shower was over, we were able to pack up all the tokens and smaller gifts into her luggage and I gave her a shopping tote to carry onto the airplane for what wouldn't fit. Something else we did: the groom was not able to fly out that weekend...so we had video clips of him with a welcome and then answering questions about the bride. After each question the bride would give her answer and then we would play his. This was a hit. It took about 12-15 minutes and everyone was laughing at the funny stories. Don't be afraid to throw a shower for an out of state bride. If you only invite close family and friends, they will not mind shipping their gifts. I know if I went through the trouble of shipping a gift to myself, bringing it to a shower, to find out that it was returned, I think I would be upset that the bride and mother had to go through all that trouble, when most times it is free shipping. Those people that did not want to ship a gift ahead of time, purchased gift cards or gave a check. It was a beautiful shower and the bride beamed from beginning to end... She is now back home and just started opening all of the gifts with her husband to be. This worked out perfect and we did not offend anyone. Good luck!!
...See More
gellchom
9 years ago
Oh, good. You said "shower," not "party," so I assumed you meant gifts. A "shower" is a party where you shower the guest of honor with gifts. People are starting to use the term more broadly, but be sure not to call this party (if you give one) a "shower," because there will surely be some if not most who think you are telling them to bring a gift.

A party with games still seems over the top to me for a MOB. It's fun to do things like talk about grandmother names and becoming a mother-in-law, but making an organized game out of it would be too shower-like. I'd be embarrassed if I were her, and frankly I'd be a bit embarrassed for her if I were a guest. Just go out for a nice lunch, brunch, or dinner together with her and maybe just a couple other very close friends and toast the family's good fortune and the new couple's happiness.

As I wrote above, the things a MOB/G's friends typically do for her is to give a shower or party for the bride/couple, not for the mom, or offer to help in some other way with the wedding. I.e., you help her in her role as host, not try to make her a guest of honor. I know you mean it well, but I'm afraid that the effect would be kind of pathetic, as if she needed bride-like attention.
sheilajoyce_gw
9 years ago
The closest I have heard of is an engagement party. DD married a boy from the South, and in his home town, friends of the parents host an engagement party. They have been doing that for each other's engaged kids forever. They even have a bride and groom ice sculpture that they use for all the young couples. Her engagement party was hosted by 13 couples, and it took place 2 days after Christmas while all the younger generation were still in town for the family holiday. That way the "groom's" friends would be able to attend the party. It was lovely, fancy and welcoming for our daughter.
Amber Winborn
Original Author
9 years ago
Thanks all for the feedback!
hounds_x_two
9 years ago
It is always nice to offer help/support when one of your oldest/dearest friends is a MOB or MOG! As others have said, a specific party for her isn't typical. Sometimes family or close friends host a breakfast for out-of-town guests on the morning after the wedding.

A fun thing some of my friends and I have put together is a Mother of the Bride survival kit. It consists of a bunch of mother of the bride necessities, such as... her adult beverage of choice, Kleenex, aspirin, scotch tape, mini-sewing kit, bandaids, panty hose, nail glue, you get the idea! Essentially, it consists of anything that might possibly be needed "at the last minute or for enjoyment/stress-relief" before the wedding.

Enjoy your time with your friend. I know how special those friendships are! I just returned from an annual "getaway weekend" with ten "girls" who have been friends since early elementary school....and we all turn 68 by the end of summer, 2017!
PRO
Anglophilia
9 years ago
Give a bridesmaid luncheon for her daughter. You, MOB, MOG, grandmothers, aunts and god others will all be there. It's a lovely multigenerational gathering, usually given the day before the wedding.
Christine Bonnell
8 years ago
I seriously just got invited to one and as a MOB myself, I am horrified. And, yes, it is a gift thing.
Kathy Cooper
5 months ago
Oh we always do a Mother-in-law / MOB / MOG shower at work for a co-worker. We have lunch and bring "silly" gag gifts, that have a punch ine on them. ie. "Duct tape" - to keep your mouth shut, "Rubberbands" - to help you remain flexible, a jar of "advice" to be a good mother-in-law, etc....

Is there such a thing as a mother of the bride shower/party?

Amber Winborn
Original Author

Comments (10)

gellchom

littlebug zone 5 Missouri

Related Discussions

gellchom

sheilajoyce_gw

Amber Winborn
Original Author

hounds_x_two

Anglophilia

Christine Bonnell

Kathy Cooper

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

Is there such a thing as a mother of the bride shower/party?

Amber WinbornOriginal Author

Comments (10)

Related Discussions

Amber WinbornOriginal Author

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

Amber Winborn
Original Author

Amber Winborn
Original Author