Interesting article re gossip!

7 years ago

I absolutely abhor a gossip!

There are two women I avoid like the plague because of the venomous and malicious personal attacks on others. And anyone seems to be fair game. Family, friends, acquaintances, someone/something they heard/read about online.

My (almost former) boss is one of the worst! For at least the last ten, out of 26, I have to keep anything, and everything, personal very "close to the vest" or it will be good fodder for gossip at his local bar on Friday night. I have heard things I allegedly said, or did, that just make me shake my head in disbelief.

There are a couple of websites I go to when I start feeling fear or uncertainty creeping up in me about the upcoming changes in my life.

One of the recent topics was "15 Habits of Irresistible People"

1. They treat everyone with dignity and respect.

2. They don't gossip.

(One Phrase To Stop Gossip Immediately:

When someone is trying to involve you in an offensive diatribe relating to someone else, the best thing to ask is: "Why are you telling me this?")

https://www.powerofpositivity.com/psychologists-reveal-the-one-phrase-to-stop-gossiping-immediately-still-in-progress/

I don't know why this hit me so profoundly this morning. I must have needed to see it. I hope I have the courage to actually say it the next time someone approaches me with, "Did you hear about ..." in a mean-spirited way.

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marilyn_c

7 years ago

You know if they talk about another person, they will talk about you just the same.

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User
7 years ago
Bless you, Angel!

I, too, abhor gossip and I wish the world were more populated with people like you. You're very special!

I often wonder what it would be like if we lived in a world without gossip...and how far reaching the destructive properties of gossip go. It wouldn't surprise me one iota if it were discovered that all our wars began because of a strategically placed piece of gossip. I've certainly observed that on a local level.

Merry Christmas, Angel.
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amicus
7 years ago
I agree that asking "Why are you telling me this?" either shocks the speaker into silence, or causes them to respond something like "Oh, I thought you'd be interested..." to which one can reply "No, actually I'm not interested..." or "No, it just sounds like gossip to me" or something similar.

There's also the great one liner, to anyone asking something you consider personal. "Why do you ask?" is a perfect way of letting someone know that if you're questioning why they asked you whatever they just asked you, it clearly isn't something you're comfortable with them asking!
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nanny98
7 years ago
Just asking????? Is there a fine line between "gossip" and "Letting your-------know that .......is failing, or ill, or needing assistance and the list goes on. When does 'passing information' become un-wanted, un-needed? Just asking?
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Elizabeth
7 years ago
I think the difference is the speakers intention. Is it to inform you of news of an illness, new home etc? Or is it clearly something that is none of their business? Gossip is often thinly disguised as concern. Preceded by patronizing phrases such as, " I feel so badly that...." and ended with "Bless her heart....". Truly repulsive.
nanny98
7 years ago
Elizabeth, I love that.. "thinly disguised concern".
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Elizabeth
7 years ago
As you can tell, I know one of these. :-)
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blfenton
7 years ago
My MIL is a horrible mean-spirited gossip. I figured that if she was gossiping to me about friends/family then she was also gossiping about me and our children. My line to her was "If so-and-so wanted me to know that, then they would call me and tell me that otherwise it's none of my business" She finally got the message.

But, she also knows very little about her grandchildren because they figured out the same thing for themselves. One of my kids came home after having dinner with her and wanted to know why Nana was so mean about other people.
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marilyn_c
7 years ago
My mother loved to get you to say something mean about someone, so she could go tell them, and she loved it if they said something mean back so she could run tell you. I refused to play her game and it caused a major rift between us until she got old and got dementia....then she became a lot nicer, probably because she didn't know anyone any more.
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socks
7 years ago
I cut this out of the newspaper years ago. Not sure who wrote it.
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Georgysmom
7 years ago
I think we all know someone like that. When I was in the hospital this Spring, a neighbor called several of my friends to get the scoop. Bless them, they just said they didn't really know the particulars. Funny thing, she never called me, never sent a card or even an E-mail. Now if she really cared........I actually feel sorry for people like this. Their world is so small, they have to be the first to know everything and share it with everybody.
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Interesting article re gossip!

marilyn_c

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