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Loss my father

5 years ago

I'm still shelled shock over his death. On Oct 30th I took him to the Er for Shortness of breath. I thought he had pneumonia. Two days later the doctors gave me and my mother the worst news. He had stage 4 lung cancer that spread to his media sternum. After two weeks in the hospital he came home on hospice care but was over all feeling ok and being his normal self.

Then on Thanksgiving day my dad begged my mom to call an ambulance to take him to the hospital. He was in so much pain and couldn't breath. He stayed in the hospital for 5 days. While he was there they pulled 2 litters of fluid off of his right lung. The doctors inserted a drain tube so we could drain the fluid off his lung and make him more comfortable.

My father passed away on 12/2 between 10:30pm and 11:30 pm. My mom was sleeping on the couch in the living room when he passed. When I got to the house he was already gone. I was lucky to have spent the day with him earlier. I even got to feed him soap for lunch (his final meal). My mom started to blame herself because she was asleep. I re-assured her that it wasn't her fault.

I feel so bad for her because she is so lost without him. We buried him on 12/9. I begged my mother to stay with me and my family and she did for one night. Then she went back to her home alone (well she and her dog). I feel awful that she is living alone but she assures me that she is ok but I keep visioning her breaking down every night. How do I know she is okay? I've been going over everyday trying to help her with my dads affairs. I just hate the thought of her being home alone at night.

What should I do to help her. What actually helps? I don't want to be pushy with her but I don't want to not be there for her either. I just don't know what to do.

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