Hooks definitely couldn't hurt, worst case scenario you can use it for yourself or place your keys on it. As for the kitchen counter issue perhaps you can both have a chat and find a better place he can place his items besides the counter you both agree on. Good luck!

I had to laugh when I read your posts title..I feel your irritation..my hubs has a serious problem and no amount of reasoning, problem solving, chats, rewards, or threats have helped in 39 years...he puts hooks up on the outside of closet doors in his bedroom (notice I said his bedroom) and hangs his dirty clothes up. He does put underwear and socks in the hamper, but that's it. I might find 6 shirts and 4 pair of jeans on the hooks, his response is they arnt really dirty I can wear them again....well why haven't you worn them again instead of the ones you've got on now..no answer..I never get a answer..its maddening. For years I've just removed all the clothes when he was at work, washed them and rehung on the hooks. I've removed the hooks and the next day they are back, bigger and uglier than ever. A few days ago I mentioned needing a bigger coat rack in the mud room....he went out to the shed and returned with a bag full of ugly metal screw in hooks..he must stockpile these things..I told him if I find even one of these in my walls or doors he will wake up with them in his ♧♣♧♣.

I wish I had good advice for you but obviously I don't...but if you find a cure please let me know.

HA! Mamapinky, I feel your frustration and pain. We've been married 43 years and you just can't teach an old dog . . . well, you know the rest. I don't make a big deal of this, he's just too good a guy. But the previous poster gave me two great products to consider for his counter stuff, but no answer to the jackets that he uses to decorate our home.

Arlandria -- love the over-the-door bins and the Container Store item. I must visit both ideas and see if they might work. Hanging up his jackets is a totally different matter.

Thanks for the suggestions

LOL! I did finally buy a basket for the end table on DH's end of the couch. He came home, took one look, and says "Oh, an organizing basket." It is, of course, overflowing. Maybe I should have just put a big laundry basket there.

OMG, I've been reading dozens of posts on the same issue. It's a guy thing! As someone said, the male species has to mark his territory. Now here's the other thing -- he's always losing his "stuff." You would think that would be the hammer-blow to the head that keeping everything together means he could find his stuff.

Like yours, my husband's system of organizing papers is to spread them out on our breakfast room table. Lots of little piles that occasionally are pushed to one end of the table if we decide to eat there.

One day I realized that although he was comfortable having all his paperwork on view, he wasn't actually seeing it. It would just pile up, unsorted. Occasionally he would dig out a bill, but credit card offers, receipts and outdated coupons remained. I sort the mail the moment it comes through the door and have tried to assist him to adopt a similar habit, but it's not natural for him. He's a happy procrastinator.

When we'd have company, I'd combine the piles into one big one and put it in a basket in a cupboard. Eventually, I proposed to him that we keep his paperwork there on a regular basis. He was a little resistant to change but agreed to try it for awhile.

That was a few years ago and so far so good. If he's looking for something, he has only one pile in a basket to sort through. Occasionally his little piles grow on the table, but they end up in the designated spot and he knows where they are.

It seems there are many of us out there trying to find some balance with organizing these guys without turning it into a thing. As they say, pick your battles. If we downsize, and we are thinking about it, he's going to have to have his own room because we'll never have the kitchen counter space we have now.

Have a "point of use" place: the "launch pad"or entry cubbies with hooks so there are no closet doors to open and hangars to find just to hang up a jacket that will be put back on in an hour. If there are no hooks, the doorknob will do. It's efficiency in action.

With papers, if a person is in the "out of sight, out of mind" category, they NEED to see things to remember they are there and that they need dealing with - that's why they spread them out. I's a neurology thing, not just a habit. Filing them or putting them in cute baskets in cubbies is permanent entombment. Open-fronted, labelled cubbies often work, because it's like piles except going up the wall.

Likewise ... have the wastebasket out in plain sight, so there is a visible place to discard things.

Maureen, my guy is always losing his "stuff" as well and gets frustrated, but like I said earlier, it's not a natural inclination for him to find an organizing solution. I want to help him, but he's simply not interested in accordion files, labeled boxes or any organizing tips I've tried to give him. You can't make people go on a diet that was successful for you and you can't make people be organized if they aren't in that mind frame.

I can, however, set an example. I have plenty of my own stuff to keep me busy with decluttering without nagging him about his collections. He used to get a bit panicky when I'd head to the car with boxes for Goodwill. "You're always throwing away stuff!" he would exclaim. He's an artist, so he sees value in practically everything. He likes to save things, but rarely does he ever go back through it. Yet he does appreciate a (somewhat) organized lifestyle and trusts that I am trying to view our belongings with mindfulness.

We don't have kids and we talk about random relatives who will end up having to cull through our accumulation. We agree that we don't want to leave a mess behind and occasionally he gets motivated and goes on a clean-out jag. We are different with our approaches. I declutter "bit by bit", cleaning out a drawer here, a shelf there, and he likes to tackle a big project "all at once." Of course, since it's a giant project, he has to put it off for awhile. So I am patient because when he does tackle the barn, or the basement, or his tool collection, he does it well.

The other night we watched a documentary on Netflix called "The Minimalists" about a movement of folks who are choosy about their belongings and question the "American Dream" that success is defined by owning more stuff. That opened a discussion about our own household and he declared he wants to cull through his t-shirt collection which is so large, he has piles of them on the floor in his closet. His intention is there so I try to be encouraging without it being an issue.

Lazy gardens, I understand the need for seeing things laid out, but in my husband's case, he wasn't really seeing it. He was just setting mail aside without going through it until he knew a bill was due or he needed a receipt. He didn't look at laid out papers at all until he needed something and then he couldn't find it, because the piles were all over the house, depending on where he set something down. So the spread-out piles would just sit there and take up a lot of room, but in the long run did not help him keep up with things. Consolidating into one area has been quite helpful. Plus, whenever he wants to, he can get out the basket and leave it out when he wants to "see" it (say, tax time). It's still one tidy pile instead of a lot of small ones in no particular order. We don't have any open shelving in our kitchen area so I don't have the option of leaving it labelled and in view.

We are seriously thinking of downsizing from a 9-room house to a 6-room. So the cleaning out has started. I hope this starts a real organizing process. We have 44 years of stuff to get rid of, but fortunately, we have charities who will pick up stuff that you leave at the door and I've been taking advantage of them for the past few months.

I too have a slob-like DH. On the coat and hat thing: hooks help a lot ONLY IF they are right where he enters the house and he doesn't have to go out of his way to use them. And I mean RIGHT there - not even one step out of the way.

On all his other stuff, I assert that he has a real problem seeing a clean, bare spot. His genetic make-up demands that he pile stuff on it. LOL.

He likes to pile stuff, and when I put it away, he says, "don't move that! I know right where to find it!" No, you won't. Because you will pile stuff in that same spot every day till the pile falls in the floor and then make another pile on the floor and you won't be able to find ANYTHING there! *sigh*

That is great advice about having hooks right at the door. Looks like a lot of us are living with guys who don't like to be organized. But, you should see our basement--that he has organized so much so he can tell one of our sons exactly where to find a tool.

" Consolidating into one area has been quite helpful."

Yes ... we call that "surrounding chaos with order" here, because of a SF series about magic that was powerful chaos that had to be surrounded and embedded in order to make it useful.

Having ONE bin where all his mail ends up is a definite improvement, as is having ONE bin where you can drop all the strays you find.

Skywatcher, I have an idea for you. You said: "Occasionally he would dig out a bill, but credit card offers, receipts
and outdated coupons remained. I sort the mail the moment it comes
through the door." May I suggest that your mail sort should include throwing out the junk mail? Shred the credit card offers and toss other junk mail. File receipts. If there's something you think he might really want or need to see, hand it to him.

OMG I'm laughing because mine leaves droppings all over the house. Nothing works. Each night he empties out his pockets and leaves the receipts on his dresser, the counter of the breakfast bar, etc. Coats are "hung" on the back of a chair. His desk looks like a bomb hit it. Include the 3 used coffee cups.

On the living room side table are his reading material, his napkin from his snack, a 3 day old water bottle, wrappers from the mints he took from the restaurant 3 days ago and 2 pair of sneakers by the sofa. The third pair is outside the front door.

However if I leave a magazine on the counter, then he accuses me of being a slob. LMAO.

Granted this place is worse than our last place because we are only renting here and there isn't enough storage. But even when I had places for everything, the droppings still materialized all over the house.

We are building a new house and I insisted on separate closets this time. My clothes are lined up by color, style, etc. His are thrown in. What did work was I gave him a basket to throw in his receipts, pennies etc in the closet.

Oh and each night I beg him to close the closet doors. NOPE.

In our apartment in NY, I put a hook up to hang the dog's leash so it would be right there. Does he hang the leash there? No he walks 3 more steps to leave it on the dining room table (we're in an apartment).

No advice but good luck. LOL.

Thank you for reminding me why I NEVER want to remarry! It took me 28 years to properly train my late husband; at age 73, I don't have that much time to do it again with another one.

I hear you. But I have two friends who are married to guys who are just the opposite. One can spot a crumb on the floor from 30 ft. away, and the other sits on the front lawn and picks weeds by hand, washes all the windows (including storms) twice a year. I'd be happy to get my windows washed every few years.

I just want you all to know that you're making me appreciate my husband. He may not be organizing his stuff in the basement, but everything in the main parts of the house are organized and neat--even his desk. (Granted--he only gets the mail I hand off to him--I open and handle everything and he gets what I think he'll find worthwhile)

His garage is also super neat, but that's because I did it with him. He wanted to put stuff back and I insisted on going through every single box and sorting and organizing (and then labeling). It's been a couple of years and the garage is still organized.

Be glad you still have your old guys. Mine would have been 76 today - died at 64 1/2. I still miss him very much. But I must say, he WAS trainable with time and effort!

I purchased a chrome restaurant/check spindle at Staples a year or two ago and this has become the place for receipts... A super easy and practical solution to slips of paper littering every flat surface in the house. Husband is happy to finally have one place for receipts. I clean out my purse, and stick my reciepts there as well, practically daily. At the end of the month, most receipts go in the garbage (unless we are saving a receipt to return an item), and we also reconcile bank accounts with the receipts from time to time.

Re: the hooks right by the door--the biggest thing, I would think, is to have the hook right where he takes his coat off.

And for some people, that's seven or 12 steps into the house, not just by the door. Still, it could be worth it.

And I like the "put all his papers in one place so when he *does* need to go through them, he has one pile.

If he's going to ignore them, he might as well ignore them in one spot instead of 70. That's different from having a pile you see and do.

My DH has an entire shelf in his armoire for his misc. stuff. He even has a little wooden valet tray. He's supposed to put his keys, wallet, change, etc. there. Where does he usually put that stuff? On his nightstand. We have laundry baskets in the closet for dirty clothes and hooks on the back of the bathroom for pjs and his robe. We have a coat closet in the hall just outside our bedroom. Where does all that usually go? Draped over the arm of the chair in the bedroom. When I ask him, his answer is like mamapinky0's DH - "It's not dirty; I'm going to wear it again." But by the end of the week there's often a week's worth of clothes there. If I'm home when he gets home from work I'll just tell him to put his things away. And if he wants to wear them again, fine. They need to be folded or hung and put back in their original spot. It's definitely a challenge.

I think it's a case of "territory." My husband's car is pristine, everything has a place, a very organized trunk and nothing in the car's interior.

Putting hooks behind doors is a great idea to hang up jackets.

Kittiemom, my DH keeps his wood tray on the nightstand for his wallet, keys, glasses, phone. We moved the chargers to his nightstand, too, just to keep it all in one place. Don't worry, there's still room for a clock and a lamp! His books see on the shelf beneath.

My hubby is the same way.

I figure what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Try putting your girly things on his nightstand or his sink area if he has a separate one.

Don't wash things that are dirty and haven't been put in the hamper to be washed.

Perhaps they'll get the message? Maybe, maybe not.

I knew someone who got tired of the toilet seat being left up. One night she put plastic wrap over the toilet and closed the lid. You can imagine the splatter that night. Problem is, who cleans it up? :-/

My husband keeps his pants on the sofa in the living room. I have no idea why he does this, and he sees nothing wrong with it. He also spreads his papers and odds and ends on counter tops and tables, pushing the messes aside when needed. The only solution was to designate our extra bedroom as "his room" where he can make all the messes he wants. He has made that room a disaster zone, but at least the rest of the house (except his pants on the sofa) is free of his stuff. I keep my own papers and such organized in my desk and cabinets where they belong. Maybe your husband can take over an extra room in your house too?

Unfortunatelly nothing will help unless he realizes himself. He reminds me a friend of mine who is a very nice guy but really messy. We used to rent a house and his stuff would be all over the house. I have asked him many times and helped him to organize but all of it was a waste of time.