ky la: Thank you for sharing your father's obituary. When I read it it brought back memories of growing up in Boise and visiting my older brother who went to school at ISU in Pocatello. Your father sounds like a terrific man who certainly left this world way too early. I know that I can tell you the obvious, that you should not blame yourself, that there is no reason to feel guilt. You will have many folks telling you this, but the olny thing that will really ease those terrible feelings is time. Know that with time things will become easier. Know that different folks greive in different ways. A person who outwardly appears to be in complete control may just be torn up inside... it's hard to tell. I'm sorry about your dad. If he were anything like a number of the fine folks I grew up with in Southern Idaho, then I know that the world is a lesser place with his passing. --in my thoughts, --John

Viola Sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my dad 10 months ago. He was 68 and I was 34. I think the same way that you are. It will be hard to go through life for the next 30-40 years without dad. My dad helped me out with watching my kids while I worked. He was such a great dad. I miss him horribly. Everything you are feeling is normal. It doesnt seem fair and at times the sorrow cuts like a knife deep inside my heart. Then I get so mad that he died. I guess all these feelings are normal. Your life will never be the same again, something just changes when you lose someone you love. When I lost my dad I felt so alone and realized wow its really time to grow up now because when mom and dad are still here, a part of you stays there little girl. There is no easy answer. Just try to keep yourself busy and cry when you need to. Talking to other people who are going through similiar thing helps me. I dont like going around people who still have there parents. I guess I am jealous, not sure,. In the end we will be reunited again. My prayers are coming your way. Keep posting

I have loved reading all the posts and gives me comfort that there are a lot of people who are experiencing the same thing as me. I too miss both my parents, still. My mom died 9 years ago from ovarian cancer and my Dad died 6 years ago after a long battle with renal failure and being on dialysis as a result. I cared for both my parents for years while they were ill. We had always been close and saw each other almost every day of my life. The last few years we all lived together while I was working full time, married and raising two boys. I was so busy with everything that I did not have time to stop and think about what was going to happen when they were gone. I miss them terribly every day and wish I would have just stopped and talked for hours on end to them while they were ill instead of doing the laundry, cleaning the house or grocery shopping or cooking. I am thankful I was able to provide them a safe home to live in and never had to place either one in a nursing home. Both boys are now grown and away from home, my husband works out of town a lot and recently my Uncle (my Mom's brother) has moved in with us after having several mini strokes and can no longer live alone. This has brought back the memories of caring for my Mom and Dad and makes me miss them more and more. I still work full time and this was a huge adjustment as my husband & I were just getting used to being empty nesters and had begun taking trips. We have adjusted accordingly and I am thankful once again that I am able to give my Uncle the care he needs without going to a nursing home. Grief can only be dealt on a day to day basis. Sometimes I can handle it and sometimes I just need a good cry. I think about all the great times we had and that makes me happy, but then the grief creeps back in because I can no longer talk to, smile at, laugh with, cry with or hug my parents ever again. My only comfort is knowing I will see them again one day in Heaven and that is what keeps me going day to day.

I agree! Its a mighty special Dad to even think of it, much less DO it! None of the guys I know would do that.