When it Rains, it Pours (Long Post)

7 years ago

last modified: 7 years ago

Things sure have changed in my life in a quick succession. I posted about the damage the rain storm caused to my house September 27. The contractor sent by my insurance adjuster came in and said what needed to be repaired. I then didn't hear anything from them.

Just after that I was asked if I could take in a rescued 9 year old female lab/Chesapeake Bay retriever because her 2nd owner, a young woman just started a business and would be travelling across the country. I said no at first because I really could not afford a dog at this time but I knew I wanted another dog since my Loki passed away sp I said yes with the condition the young woman would pay for the dog's food and any upcoming vet bills. She agreed to that because she wanted the dog to go to a good home.

Then my sister who is 17 years older than I took a turn for the worse and had to come stay with me temporarily. Her apartment building which is owned by the city is infested with cockroaches, just horrible. She has stage 4 lung cancer and had taken a turn for the worse and was recently put on oxygen. The building was going to be sprayed again and because of her condition we moved her to my house for the time being. We have wonderful Community Health Care. When she was at her apartment she was getting a nurse coming in every day but most of the time she would not answer the door. She would not avail herself of all the services offered. I told her the condition on coming to stay at my house she will access all the services.

So we have a nurse coming every day. a personal support worker to bath her and change her clothes, we have had a nurse practitioner come in and assess her and prescribe other medications she might need like ventalin treatments and a few other things. An Occupation Therapist came in and assessed Marjorie for what equipment she may need. I now have a hospital bed in the middle of my living room, a bath chair, a hospital table, nebulizer, walker, transport wheel chair. Oxygen breathing tech has been here and we have an oxygen generator that runs 24 hours a day, then 2 large safety tanks if the power goes out, numerous small tanks for when she has to go by car or be transported somewhere. My phone never stops ringing, and I have people coming and going. Today at 8:30 am a new high slimline toilet was installed because my other toilet was too short for my 5'10 tall sister to easily use. Then we had the Hospice Doctor and nurses stop by to see what pain medications my sister may need and to assess her for future end of life residency if she chooses not to take the new chemo pill her cancer doctor is prescribing once the funding comes through for it. The care my sister is receiving is wonderful from all these workers and the pharmacies who keep an eye on her medications and who put her prescriptions in blister packs for safety reasons. Why do they make pills so tiny. My sister drops them and i have this dog that I don't want to die from eating dropped medications.

My sister has been here for a few weeks now. Because of the medication she is on she has to go to the washroom every 2 hours. I never got more than 2 hours at a time sleep during the night. She would always call for help. She would forget how to breath so we printed up a paper with big words for her to read "smell the roses, blow out the candles" She would wake me to help her to breath through her nose. She had panic attacks, made me call for an ambulance one night. Then we had to hire private ambulance to bring her home the next day. The other night she had another panic attack and woke me to call an ambulance and I said no, she just had to breath so I sat up with her until she calmed down. I have had no time for myself, waiting on her hand and foot, getting meals, etc. As soon as I would sit down she wanted something despite me asking if she needed anything. I was getting worn out. I finally told her using her walker she can get to the bathroom by herself, she doesn't need me. If she wasn't here she would be by her own in her apartment and would have to get to the bathroom on her own. So the other night I finally was able to get 5 hours of straight sleep and now she is going to the washroom on her own. The nurse said she can be alone, she is not a risk for falling, etc. I was able to get out yesterday to do some banking and take care of some of her affairs and when I came home the dog was outside on her tie up and my sister let her out. She has improved since she has been here and the nurse may not have to come every day now.

So, back to the ceiling repair. I had not heard anything for the 3 weeks after the first contractor was here. I was to busy with my sister and the new dog to think about anything and thought the contractors were too busy and would eventually get to me. Then someone else from the company called and asked me what had been done. I told him his company was the contractor and I had not heard anything from them. He came out to the house and said the first person who took the report after the storm was from an out of town franchise and he said she did not transfer the reports to the local company so he came in and remeasured and took pictures of things. He told me during those 3 weeks before my sister came in the ceiling should have been torn down and dryers brought in and a tarp put on the roof because I had emergency coverage. I wasn't too happy with this business. He came, went and didn't call again until yesterday but he did send someone over to tarp the roof. and collect samples this week to test for asbestos So when he called yesterday I told him my situation has changed. my sister is camped out in my living room and I would have to find a place for her to go for however long it takes for them to fix my ceilings. I put that in motion today and hopefully my sister has a respite place next week. She wants to go back to her apartment but she needs care at this time and we are trying to talk to her about giving up her apartment. I said I would never be my sister's care taker after being one for my Mom all those years but look at me now. I didn't have the help with my Mom like my sister is getting from community health care.

So when my sister gets a bed somewhere I can get this ceiling torn down and replaced. I feel this is all too much for me since everything happened at once but I am trudging along. I am keeping positive and we laugh a lot and I have lost a bit of weight which is always a good thing because I am moving so much between my sister and the dog haha

One good thing that has come out of all this is selling the albatross of a rental house I inherited when my Mom passed away. It is a dump, my brother lived in it and never took care of it and it has sat empty for quite a few years. It needs a new roof, siding and eavetroughs. I was talking to the roofer who came to assess my roof for the tarp last weekend and I asked him what the cost was for a tarp since I might need one for the rental house. I told him I wanted to sell it ASAP and he perked up and he said he flips houses and he wanted to take a look at it. I said maybe there was a reason he showed up in my life that day. I have been after my brother for years to empty that house, but couldn't rock the boat too much because the rent my brother paid me was paying the mortgage. I told him now it was imperative the house be cleared out. he would never let anyone in the house including me but I told him he better not lose me this sale. So he has rented a bin and is clearing the house out. I guess kids had broken in and trashed the house inside. I hadn't been in that house in almost 30 years so I was taking his word everything was all right with the house when I asked about it. I am happy with what the roofer offered me because I told him how bad the house may be, and it may just be a tear down. He also offered to fix my roof. as part of the sale. Then my older brother's SO thought maybe she might buy the rental house for her daughter and wants to have someone go in to tell me what the market price might be. They think the other guys offer is too low but I just want to get rid of it. I told the potential buyer what was going on and he said he would wait for my decision. So once the house is empty my younger brother will let them it to appraise it. My world will be so much happier if that house is gone and the mortgage on it paid off. So I have had a lot on my plate in a short time span. My wonderful Sister in Law is doing a lot of running around for my sister. we got POA's done yesterday. Just this intimidating ceiling repair is the next thing I have to deal with.

The Queen just reminded me I promised I would make chicken salad from left over chicken for her dinner tonight. This after last night when she did not eat the steak or green beans I cooked her supper haha Smell the roses, blow out the candles, deep breaths. Sorry this was long, I needed to vent

Featured Answer

fran1523

7 years ago

Keep in mind that your sister has stage 4 cancer and is probably not long for this world. Later you will be so happy that you did the right thing. I also hope that roofer buys your house. Don't listen to the relatives who might be interested. Good luck.

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Comments (27)

Jasdip
7 years ago
OMG CherryFizz. I can't believe all that you're going thru. You've got the largest heart of gold. Your house is in upheaval, in more ways than one. So you're okay with your sister living with you full-time? Again, you're remarkable. Good for you for taking in a dog, too!

Congratulations on the potential sale of your rental house. I sure hope it sells one way or the other. Are you going to look at it, or will it be too hard emotionally?
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hooked123
7 years ago
CherryFizz- I am sorry that you are dealing with so many stressful things (((hugs))). I hope that everything gets better soon.
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As per usual someone has disagreed with you and you spring to attack. > You've used a tautology. Duh. What truth could be more simple than one which is universally true -- by definition -- irrespective of preconditions or exceptions? Furthermore in your attack you demonstrated that you didn't even fully understand the contents of the post that you viewed as disagreeing with you. If the tradesperson was barely competent they may have recommended replacing both pump and pump motor, simply because that's all they know how to do. However even if the tradesperson were the absolute best anywhere, they still may make the same recommendation for various non-nefarious reasons, even if the pump and/or motor could have been repaired and reinstalled. Since they charge for their labor the cost for installing a 5 dollar part would still be significant, and even if the fix made them last for the remainder of their expected lifetime, they may well need replacing in as little as three years, plus the diagnosis work that might be necessary to determine that it is only requires a 5 dollar part may take enough hours of labor that the cost of removing the pump and motor, and diagnosing the problem, and ordering the 5 dollar part, and installing it, and reinstalling the repaired pump and motor might easily equal or exceed the cost of installing new units. Or as I said even if only one of the components were bad they may still recommend replacing both for the same reason of labor costs, or because of manufacturer warranty considerations. So irrespective of the tradesperson's skill level, or honesty level the recommendation might have been the same -- replace the pump and pump motor -- but even given that I still wouldn't be surprised to learn that one or both of them hadn't in fact really failed. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Years ago we had a well issue where the pipe between the well and the house had started leaking, a simple fix (a backflow prevention valve in the house) worked well as a temporary fix for several years, but as time wore on it needed to be properly fixed. Rather than try to find the location of the leak, which was beneath the roots of a largish tree, and repair that one leak, the well people said given that there was one leak there might be more than one leak -- if not now then perhaps soon, and that the digging might damage or perhaps kill the tree. So based on their recommendation I had them install an entirely new pipe following a different route. After that work was finished the water worked, and everything was fine. Until the first rain when the water would come out of the faucet tinged orangey-red, the color of the local clay soil. I called and complained. they denied any responsibility, I countered that it had never occurred before, even in Hurricane Irene's 10 inches of rain, but now after the worked on the system it was occurring, regularly, therefore they must have been at fault. Grudgingly they agreed to return and investigate, and change the well head from the older cement-pit style to the newer capped PVC pipe wellhead, even though they didn't think that would be of any benefit. In that process they discovered that when the well was originally installed, the installers hadn't sealed the outside of the well casing, and consequentially surface water was seeping/pouring down the outside of the well casing, and entering/contaminating the well. So it turns out that their work installing the new pipe didn't cause the well-problem, it was merely that the disturbed soil caused the existing problem to be more noticeably evident. They "grouted" the well (AKA sealed the outside of the well casing) which was a significant material charge due to how much was needed and after that the orangy-red water problem never re-occurred.
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sjerin
7 years ago
Ohhhhh my. You have a LOT on you plate! I'm glad you're using the respite care services and hope your sister can move to a hospice home soon. May I suggest something about her meds? My mother lives with my sister and has to take various meds. She easily drops the pills due to arthritic fingers and age, so now we place them on her tongue and she takes a drink to swallow them down. Sister has a little doggy who would die if she got hold of one of the pills. I'll say a little prayer for you and your sister.
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adellabedella_usa
7 years ago
I remember you taking care of your mother. You have a really good heart. You've got a lot going on. I hope it goes smoothly and your roof gets done and the house gets sold in short order.
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tami_ohio
7 years ago
Anne, I am so glad things are moving along for your ceilings and roof, finally! Good, too, that your sister is finally willing to utilize the services available to her. Hope you can get her in somewhere quickly so you can get the repairs done. Hope also, that you get the rental sold one way or another, quickly. Hugs. Vent all you need to!
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Fun2BHere
7 years ago
Blessings to you and (((hugs)))!
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lucillle
7 years ago
Cherryfizz

Bless you for taking in the dog

Bless you for taking care of your sister. In my state, there are respite care programs set up and paid for by the state, so that a family member can leave the house to do errands and just have time for themselves and have a state paid respite care worker take care of the ill person, and depending on the diagnosis the respite care can be from 8 to 40 hours or more per week. Maybe your state has something like that?

I hope that by the time the holidays get here your life is calmer.
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Cherryfizz
Original Author
7 years ago
last modified: 7 years ago
sjerin, I have been putting my sister's pills in her mouth but she doesn't like me doing it but I do it anyway haha. She is mad at me because I have taken over the control of her prescriptions. I have been after her for years to get them in blister packs but she would never do it. She sorts through her pills every night and puts them in this bottle and that bottle. And always dropped them or left them on the couch. I started putting them in her pill box for her in the morning but I was uncomfortable doing that because what if I gave her the wrong pills. haha I told her I wanted the blister packs because I didn't want to be accused of killing her by giving her the wrong or too much medications. We had a good laugh about that. The pills are teeny weeny things. Lucille I live in Canada and there is respite care from Hospice I can access when needed. She is able to be left alone right now. I told her if she wasn't able to go back to her apartment she can come back here after the roof is done. I have an extra room that needs clearing out, one I use as a storeroom and is filled with beds and dressers, some that I can get rid of and the rest I can move up into the attic. I may be a terrible person but I told her once she can't get to the bathroom and depends on depends haha she will have to go into a respite home. She is not ready for a nursing home yet but there are assisted living places that would be paid for by the government which would be more suitable. I don't want to go down that rode again of caring for an invalid and my siblings understand that as does she. I started caring for my Mom when I was in my 30's, I am now 60. We would start butting heads anyway as we always do. My sister was living in Toronto before I was born and then went to live with a wealthy Aunt so she thinks she is a little "upper crust" than the rest of us peons. Just kidding haha. Well kind of true. And that other house, I should have sold it when I first inherited it but my brother and his kids needed a place to stay, it is just a shame that it ended up the way it is. My Mom bought that house for my sister and her kids who abandoned it after she was burgled and it was empty when my Mom allowed my brother to move in. I am so glad that roofer came to my house that day and I was able to get things in motion. I told him if the house was appraised at just a few thousand more I would still take his offer. Sorry about the errors in my first post. I am just too darn tired to fix them
kathyg_in_mi
7 years ago
Remind yourself to "smell the roses, blow out the candles"! Hugs, Kathy G in MI
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sheilajoyce_gw
7 years ago
What a wonderful sister you are!
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moonie_57 (8 NC)
7 years ago
Good gosh you're shouldering a lot! it must be some kind of relief just to be able to come here and vent!
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marilyn_c
7 years ago
Bless you, Cherry Fizz. That is an awful lot to deal with all at one time. I took care of my mother for years and then I took care of an elderly friend for 8 year and I know how demanding that is. Hard to get any time for yourself. Don't let it wear you down.....try to get some time for yourself.
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glenda_al
7 years ago
Hugs and loving thoughts, Cherry Fizz!
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Georgysmom
7 years ago
I'm exhausted just reading your post. I don't know how you do it but I do know there's a special place in heaven for you. ((((CherryFixx))))
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ravencajun Zone 8b TX
7 years ago
last modified: 7 years ago
Believe me I know, you take it one step at a time and one day at a time. Just keep breathing! Try to find something to smile about every day.
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OklaMoni
7 years ago
WOW, Anne, bless you for all you are doing.
Marilyn Sue McClintock
7 years ago
Take a deep breath, here's a hug, and also a prayer.

Sue
ont_gal
7 years ago
OMG Cherry-sell to the roofer,asap,take care of the caregiver......and yes,take some time for you-Selfish it is not...long distance hugs to you.....always.
Yayagal
7 years ago
Do your best to have the roofer buy it as it would never pass a home inspection for a mortgage and most buyers need a mortgage. Vent all you want, who wouldn't under all those circumstances but the laughter will get your through. God bless you for all you do for others, know that it doesn't go unnoticed and soon this will all be resolved.
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Jasdip
7 years ago
I love that phrase "smell the roses and blow out the candles"! I'm going to remember that.

I too hope that the roofer buys the house. He knows what he's in for and would be willing to take it on.
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Cherryfizz
Original Author
7 years ago
Thanks. My sister was diagnosed in 1989 with stage 4 inflammatory cancer when there was no real survival rate. After 3 years of chemo and radiation and prayers she did survive. Then in 2009 she was diagnosed with another form of breast cancer and had the breast removed with no chemo or radiation. Since she was born she suffers from Arrhythmia and has a pacemaker. Last November we noticed the metal of her pacemaker showing through her skin and just about falling out. This was just before she was diagnosed with cancer. The area was terribly infected and the skin was showing signs of necrosis. As soon as the tech at the pacemaker clinic saw this my sister was immediately sent out of town to London Health and Science Centre 2 hours away. The Doctors were not sure what they were going to do because the leads were also infected and the skin was in bad shape. She stayed in the hospital for a few weeks then they decided they would try to put the pacemaker on the right side of her chest which they did eventually do. They were unsure they had a vein for the lead to the heart but they did find one. They removed the old pacemaker but left the leads attached and tucked them into her chest wall. She came home from the hospital and was hooked up to 24 hour intravenous antibiotics for a few months. The leads eventually came through her skin so she was sent back to London to have them cut shorter. She has had 2 hip replacements, one of her hips needs to be replaced because it is falling apart but she can't undergo that long of a surgery so is living with the pain, same for her shoulder. My sister has never had 1 peaceful year of good health and I am amazed at the strength and fortitude she has. She wants to live so will do everything including asking for prayers from anyone offering them to her.

Since being at my house her breathing has improved quite a bit and she doesn't look so sick. Today she got approval and a prescription for the oral chemo drug Tarceva. We have been waiting for the government to approve the funding of the medication. 30 pills $2525.00 . I have informed her of the side effects, read her reviews from people taking the drug and she is wanting to give it a go. When she has had chemo before she was never sick. I am worried about the face and body rash but the Dr had the pharmacy deliver 6 jars of cortisone creams.

The Community Care Access manager found my sister a respite bed in a very nice retirement home. She has a 2 week government funded stay and then after the 2 weeks are up my brother and his SO said she can go to their place until the works is done, I talked to the contractor today and work can begin on a days notice so I am hoping for Wednesday.

Marjorie is determined to get well or at least well enough to get up to go to her hair salon to get a wash, dye and cut.

My younger brother handed the keys to the rental house to my older brother the other day after clearing out the house as much as he could. I told my brother they had a week to let their guy valuate the property and if they don't have a buyer I am selling it to the roofer. I just want it gone out of my life.
tami_ohio
7 years ago
Anne, you and your sister are always in my prayers. She sure sounds like a fighter. I pray the new medicine helps, without too many side effects. Good that the work on the ceilings can begin on a days notice. As to the rental house, at this point, I would just sell to the roofer. But that is me. If you have not been allowed in the house in that many years, no telling what condition it is in. And if everything isn't out by the deadline you have given, sell as is, including contents. Family or no, you as the owner, should have the right to inspect with 24 hour notice, to ensure that your property was being cared for as it should be. Hope it isn't as bad as it could be.
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joyfulguy
7 years ago
I'm so sorry that you've had all of these problems to deal with for some time, Anne. Yep - sometimes it doesn't just rain - it pours ... could that be especially when one's roof is in less than ideal condition?

Bless you for your kindness and help for your sister. I hope and pray that things can work our well for her, fighter that she is - and for you.

And pleased that you've kept your sanity ... and good spirits ... through all of the travails.

Give your sister our good wishes and hopes that things go well with her, and that some are offering prayers on her behalf.

ole joyful
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PKponder TX Z7B
7 years ago
I admire your ability to take all of these hurdles in stride and just keep on going! Prayers for your sister's health and your continued strength.
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Sue_va
7 years ago
Anne, I haven't been on the pc much lately and I did read about your problem(s) so now I'm wishing you the best of everything, knowing that you have the will and the love that will get you through this. Keep on keeping on; wish there were something I could do to help.
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User
7 years ago
They say we're never given more than we can handle and it sounds like you're handling it like a champ! Hang in there CherryFizz, you're a good apple, and it will pay off one day. Your sister is lucky you're there for her, being a caretaker is IMO the hardest job of them all. (((Hugs)))
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When it Rains, it Pours (Long Post)

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