I wanted to add that by not much work I mean when we get there. Don't want to take up the ovens, etc. They can be labor intensive on my end.

Interesting.... I don't think I know any $400/bottle wine drinkers. lol!

I'd opt for bringing/making something they aren't likely to have or make for themselves... how about two or three different spiced nuts and/or fudge? Or is there a popular food item that is specific to your area? e.g., there is a very unique candy made locally that's always an option for me to bring somewhere. A smoked meat? (e.g., smoked kielbasa) Or a box of good assorted chocolates?

You could also bring something meant as a hostess gift (rather than appetizer). One option is to bring fresh flowers or a potted plant... perhaps something like
a rosemary 'tree' if you can find one -- that's what I brought for my
sister last year. Or homemade jam/jelly, maple syrup or honey (local products for me), any specialty cheeses made in your area, etc. Maybe even fill a little basket with items like that.

PS: I'm envious that your 4 hour drive has an 'equivalent' 2 hour train ride
plus 1 hour drive to/from station. I go to my sister's house for T-Day
and it's a 4+ hour drive (always longer on T-Day due to traffic
backups) vs an 8 hour train ride plus 1 hour drive to/from station! :(

here's my spiced pecan recipe. Always a hit.

spicy Bourbon pecans

1/2 cup good bourbon
1 lb pecan halves
1 T.
corn oil
1 T. Worcestershire sauce
1/2 teaspoon angostura bitters
1/2
cup sugar

Preheat oven to 350.
1) in small saucepan, simmer bouron
over medium heat until reduced by
1/4. Blanch pecans in boiling water for 1
minute, then drain.

2) In large bowl, combine bourbon, oil, Worcestershire, bitters,
sugar. Add hot pecans and toss well. Let stand for
10 minutes.

3) spread pecans in single layer on rimmed baking sheet. Bake
for
30-40 minutes, turning every 10 minutes, or until they are crisp
and
liquid has evaporated.

4) Transfer to large clean bowl and toss
with spices (as follows),
about 1-1/2 teaspoon spices, 1/2 t. salt, 1/4 t.
pepper.

Spices---Emeril's "Essence" (This makes a lot more than this
recipe
needs, but I use it for a lot of other things. You can just reduce

the recipe proportionally, if you like)
2-1/2 T. paprika
2 T.
salt
1 T. garlic powder
1 T. black pepper
1 T. onion powder
1 T.
cayenne pepper
1 T. dried leaf oregano
1 T. dried thyme.

Store in
airtight container.

Hints: the recipe does not seem to work with Splenda.
And make sure
the pecans are crisp... better slightly overdone than
underdone.

A Rosemary tree is a good idea but I think they mostly order gourmet carry out. They are the only ones I know who do that kind of wine. Maybe Berger cookies.....they are pure sugar but you can only get the real thing in Baltimore. I live close enough to go pick some up. Spiced nuts are a great idea. Can't believe I didn't think of that. I could do a few kinds and they travel well.

Living in the 'burbs is kinda a pain as far as travel but rest of the time we have the views and stars.

sushi....I will be doing that! Thank you and party for the suggestion!

The spiced pecans are a great idea. Otherwise, I would bring something that you can present and say "don't feel you have to put this out now, but wanted you to have something to enjoy in the aftermath.." People who tell their guests not to bring anything (to a meal like Thanksgiving) are usually very particular about their menus and presentation. They do appreciate nice food gifts that can be savored at at a time of THEIR choosing. My mother still talks about having to put out potato chips and dip that a niece brought one year. Never mind that they were devoured! By the way, don't feel you are shirking by not contributing to the meal. We hosts appreciate you guests who travel so far. We know it is as costly and time consuming as preparing the meal and house. Your presence is what makes it special and we love to lavish you as best we can.

I don't know who originally posted the recipe here, but these Honey Chipotle Pecans are excellent:

Honey Chipotle Pecans

Recipe
makes 2 cups of nuts and can be prepared up to a week ahead of time.
Store in a sealed container.

2 Tablespoons honey
1 1/2 teaspoons chipotle powder
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 cups pecan halves

2 Tablespoons granulated sugar
1 teaspoon sea salt

Preheat the oven to 325°. In a medium microwave safe mixing bowl,
combine the honey, chipotle powder, and ground cinnamon. Warm through.
(You can also do this on the stove over low heat.)

Stir nuts into warmed honey mixture. Still well to coat. On a
parchment paper-lined baking sheet, spread honey-coated nuts in a single
layer. Bake until toasted and fragrant, about 15 minutes. Meanwhile
combine the sugar and salt in a small bowl.

Remove from oven and allow to cool only slightly (no more than a minute or two-- you want them to still be sticky.)

In a medium sized mixing bowl dump the hot nuts and add the
sugar/salt mix tossing to combine. Spread nuts on cold waxed paper or
parchment paper and let dry. It's best if they don't touch each other.

Serve or store covered until ready to eat.

-----------------------------

Another that's different and I really like are these cashews:

Toasted Spiced Cashews

4 cups unsalted cashews (about 1-1/4 lb.)

1 large egg white, beaten slightly

1/4 cup granulated sugar

4 tsp. garam masala

1-1/2 tsp. kosher salt

1/2 to 1 tsp. cayenne pepper

Position a rack in the center of the oven and heat the oven to 325°F.

In a large bowl, toss the cashews with the egg white, coating the
nuts evenly. Add the sugar, garam masala, salt, and cayenne. Toss again
to combine.

Line a large rimmed baking sheet with parchment. Spread the nuts
on the baking sheet and roast, stirring every 5 to 10 minutes and
breaking up clumps if they form, until nicely browned, 25 to 35 minutes.
Break up any clumps again while the nuts are still warm. When the nuts
have cooled, put them in a serving bowl, and cover if making ahead.
Makes 4 cups.

As I said, I could do multiple nuts and I might make all three.

Thanks for your suggestions....I am gonna be making several types of spiced nuts. You all are incredible.

And shop for a pretty holiday storage tin to present the nuts in. I love the idea.

I am hoping to get to either Ikea or maybe Homegoods for some glass jars. Three or four different types of nuts should be great. My Thanks for for the recipes

Candied walnuts, peanuts, and almonds! They are easy to make a are always gone the first day in our house! They only needs assorted nuts and sugar, and a little bit of water.

You could give them cookie butter as a present too. Put it on top of toast, add in to baked goods, rice crispies. You could bring puppy chow (for humans, NOT for dogs!), also called muddy buddies, in a jar too. They are delicous.

My suggestion is that you should bring a hostess gift that they can enjoy later. Don't bring anything to eat then and there, to be served or put in a vase. You asked and they decline, and you should respect that.

The hosts most likely have everything planned out, and then you come and they need to fit your food into their food, plate it, store leftovers etc.

The thought is very nice, but they declined.

I just wanna second what mimipadv said! When people say to bring "just yourselves," they mean it!

I was thinking more for something for the day before or after. We will be there for a few days but I understand what you are saying. The nut recipes seem perfect. In pretty jars they can be put out then or the family can enjoy them later.

That's a very nice gift. I just made a batch of cashews for a dinner party.

Melted butter, fresh rosemary, pimenton, granulated garlic and brown sugar. They are positively addictive.

I'm thinking about giving them at gifts for the holiday, too.

My BIL sounds like you hosts. They are very wealthy and have a wine cellar which he shares generously when they entertain. MIL kept telling us to bring wine to the gatherings, because we travel there and have limited food options to share.

Last Christmas, our bottles of Port and Prosecco sat untouched, and I finally told her NO MORE! I can't compete with his collection, which he curates with love, no doubt.

So, nuts it will be, and his family can enjoy whenever.

I served nut recipes like these last year at my big holiday party and I was impressed with how long the few leftovers lasted in airtight containers. It's the perfect idea for make before you go that they can enjoy after you leave. And they'll have the pretty jars to remember your gift by.

If you want to mix it up, you could do pumpkin seeds. Also, people go wild for macadamia nuts, straight from the bag. :)

Please PLEASE don't bring a rosemary tree. It will have to be watered and put into a sunny window.
I second an assortment of spiced nuts....or another gift I sometimes take is a decorative ( but cheap!) jar full of my home made hazelnut biscotti. I have frequently had the jar returned with a note saying "hint!"
Home made jams or chutneys...jelly...I make a raspberry/cranberry habanero preserves that is dinomite on some goat cheese, or even just cream cheese and it's "canned" so it can go into the closet....and I'll guarantee you won't find that in the grocery store!

These are all great and yummy ideas! It sounds like you have time to make the nuts, but if a person is short on time, a box of nice chocolates (like Godiva) is always a treat. they make some lovely small/medium size assortments with holiday themes. Just another idea on the topic of food gifts ...

I think your spiced nuts idea is perfect. They can serve or save for using over the holidays. You could look for a nice holiday tea towel to wrap them all in.

Make or buy red pepper jam, pour it over a large block of cream cheese and serve with Triscuts.

One ear I took sweet potato chips and cranberry salsa. Was a bit hit.

I agree, the mixture of nuts or other "snacky" things is a very nice hostess gift. When I have people travelling several hours to visit, I know they are limited as to what they can bring or keep while travelling. I really just want to see them, and will happily feed and house them if I just get to visit!

So, those nuts would be nice, or homemade candy, biscotti, an assortment of small cookies are all good. Enjoy your time together and send a thank you gift later, if that works better.

Annie

I second the nut mixes. A few varieties maybe if you do some trials. Easy to travel with and the hostess can decide to put them out or not. I make a few savory crackers every holiday and seem to be welcome especially the cheesy ones.

Our wealthy friends can buy anything, but homemade can be eye opening like my granola and a salsa i make they beg me for. My Fall batch of granola i pack in cellophane flat bottomed bags with a sticker label i make. It is more savory than sugary sweet like most. A lawyer friend hides it from her family of five so i bring 2 or 3 bags now so she can save one for herself. (i make a couple big batches for a holiday charity event and an extra dozen for gifting).

Anything perishable like roll-ups with deli slices would be frowned upon only because most meals are planned ahead. A hostess that entertains often has a plan and enjoys all the fuss and prepping.

Something special and regional in your area is also welcome but i usually get requests. Like NY bagels. We live near RocklandBakery where you grab a paper bag and plastic food prep glove on the way into the back factory and help yourself to fresh loaves of bread, 25+ varieties, and bagels right off the belt so hot they can burn. I've taken a couple dozen on a plane and the 4hour drive to my parents baked that morning. (we are so sick of bagels i think i've had just one this entire year). As common as fallen leaves in my yard right now. But relatives in SCarolina squeal when we bring them.

Why i like the seasoned nut idea. Non-perishable, keeps well through the holidays, can even be frozen. And next year you might even get a request to bring your 'famous seasoned nuts'.

My sister, last Christmas, gifted us mixed nuts in a thrift store pottery bowl. The gift was the nuts and the pottery just a container. She doesn't cook or eat really with an unfortunate eating disorder. So the nuts were rancid beyond stale, i'm guessing a re-gift, but the pottery is a vintage classic i adore. So just make sure your purchased nuts are fresh!. lol.

I'll throw in a little different idea. I'd make a pumpkin bread. It is incredibly dense and moist and very durable and will travel very well. Once there, it can be sliced and served as an appetizer, with the meal, for dessert or it makes a great breakfast bread. Or it can be just a gift for the family for them to enjoy at some future date. It stays fresh for a long time and it freezes well.

(fervently praying for pumpkin season to be over and done with, some of us hate pumpkins for anything but jack-o--lanterns.)

This is one of the main reasons I can, I am usually able to pull out a nice and unique hostess gift fairly easily.

sus, Cannot agree more, I also hate Turkey, having it once a year is just too much.

Aww, you guys just don't know what you're missing out on!

Love pumpkin, turkey and all the fall foods...they're so comforting and warm.

I also like pumpkin and turkey, but I understand that not everyone does. Some people are allergic to nuts too. I don't think there's a "safe" food option anymore. (sigh)

Whatever you decide, have a nice visit and enjoy the time spent with friends.

Annie

I like pumpkin bread so long as it's not overfull of nutmeg, but mine, while it would travel fine in the car, is moist, but not dense at all! It's almost fluffy! It's definitely a wrap gently and put on the floor in a cardboard box kind of thing. But now I want some and I have no idea where I put the recipe. It's not in the computer. Sigh.

I digress. Annie D. reminded me that I'm making pumpkin empanadas tomorrow unless the plumber comes for the annual drains cleaning. I still think the spiced nuts sound perfect, but while they take a little time and care, pumpkin empanadas are easy, and reheat well, and, Anne, if you really want a well travelling appetizer, they'd be great. Just make 'em a little smaller and really cut back on the sugar (most recipes call for enough sugar to give me a headache, and it's not needed, especially if your pumpkin isn't sour).

If someone tells you not to bring anything for the event, then don't bring anything for the event. Instead, bring a really nice host/ess gift. Nuts and dried fruits or keeping cookies like shortbread as mentioned are great. People have brought me baskets with lotions or teas or nice beeswax candles or fun cocktail napkins -- all of which I like and can use eventually and don't require anything from me while I'm trying be a good host and get that meal on the table. Or, order flowers and have them delivered ahead.