PM, Jas's book is amazing! It has so much humor, love and pain shared. I loved reading how much all of his family means to him. Must say it touched me in more ways than I could of imagined. What a strong lovin' family to make it through all of this. I'm on chapter 17 now so won't be long before I'm done. Guess you know I don't want to work, I'd rather read! I don't dare take it with me tho.lol Hope the sales continue to roll df. I've been through laughter and tears reading Jas's story. His book was worth the wait! He found a great author. You are a 'Proud Momma' and deserve your title!!! Jane gave 'PM' a whole new meaning and it's perfect. Punk

What a great opportunity you had to give her the snow globe! Even though we lived fairly close to both sets of grandparents and I loved them all, I didn't interact with them much in elementary years or as a teen; but had "snow globe moments" with them from time to time. My mom occasionally mentioned my maternal grandma wondered if I didn't like her because I usually went off to read a book. I just didn't know what to say to her. When I was 12 we moved next door to my paternal grandma to be where we could help her. I never felt close to her really. She tended to be critical and to compare me to, well, pretty much everyone, but she meant well. In college I moved into my mat. grandparents basement apartment to be closer to campus. In my whole life they had never tried to correct me (something I feel is always best left to the parents!). While I lived there they just visited with me, asked me about school and work, told me amusing stories, etc. Never once did I use the kitchen downstairs. I always ate with Gramm and Gramp and they always acted amazed that I would do all the dishes when I "should be studying" or that I could carry my book bag with so many big textbooks. They were delightful and brilliant and the least judgemental people I know! They met my husband long before the rest of my family did and made him feel welcome, too. He feels as close to them as I do. Gramm's been gone nearly 20 yrs now, Gramp has been gone for 11. I still miss them both with all my heart! I think you're wonderful for wanting a close relationship with your family! Just keep loving your little one and be patient. Don't push the relationship. Love her mom, too. Grandparents can be a safe haven when the time is right! Wishing you all the best! Kay

I'm so sad for you, Shey. You are NOT a failure; I'm amazed you keep trying in the face of such a lack of support. It is not failing to not be able to achieve the unachievable...would you consider yourself a failure if you tried to fly by jumping off the roof, and didn't fly? You should also show your BF this post, it is so articulate and sums up the disconnect between your attitudes well. But I was thinking of some answers you could give to BF's accusations as well. I've regrouped them a little as some pretty well fall into the same territory. You don't hug the kids enough, you're not affectionate with them. Why don't you treat my kids like I treat yours!?! You were really quiet with them today, what's wrong with you? - Because they don't care to be hugged by me, talk to me or even to spend time with me. This is evidenced by the fact that they never initiate conversation with me, ask me not to be at their events, and ask to be alone with you. I would love to be more affectionate with them but since they don't like it I try not to irritate them by offering unwanted hugs or chit chat. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells in my own home, but I do it because I know you want to stay close to your children. But they're picky eaters you know that, I don't want them to go hungry! -Well, I don't want them to go hungry either. If you have a better idea of what they'd like to eat, why don't you cook while they are here? I'm trying my best to make meals they will like, but clearly it's not working. Let's try a different tack. I'm going to have 'family time' with the kids separate as that is what they have asked for... You always wait for me to suggest something, don't you want to see us? Let's spend less time together because they need me. -I would dearly love for us all to spend time together but if your children prefer not to then I am content that they should spend time alone with you, since I don't want to upset them. It's hard to suggest things to do when I know they would prefer I was out of the picture altogether. Well, I can't do anything about what she says or does can i! -No, you can't, but it would be nice if you were more sympathetic to how it makes me feel so that I felt you were on my side. They're struggling with their mother, what am I supposed to do, lose my kids?!? -Of course not, but I feel this issue is driving a wedge between us that is going deeper and deeper. I feel you think I've failed somehow and I don't know what else I could do to encourage your children to like me. What would you suggest? If this situation doesn't improve, I feel it's going to eventually turn into our discussing whether our relationship is worth continuing with. I am very unhappy with things as they are and would dearly love for things to improve but for this to happen we both need to be on the same side and working together toward the same goal.

OP and ev, I was not being facetious when I suggested doggie diapers. This situation is EXACTLY what this product is made for, and keeping pee and poop from fouling the home is exactly why people buy them. A lower cost alternative is to use baby diapers with a hole cut for the tail. Will people laugh? Im sure they will - so what, let them laugh. I get that you dont want your house stunk up from poop and pee - no one wants that. But what baffles me is why you seem to be insisting that the only options are getting rid of the dog or just letting poop and pee fall wherever they land. The reality is you could surrender him to any shelter but given his issues - the odds are very much stacked against him - sorry, but there is no sugar-coating that. From how you describe the injury and what the vet has said - sounds like a pretty dmn good chance its the injury causing the problems. What does your boyfriend say about how the dog was before his accident - was he toilet trained then? Even if it is just anxiety about suddenly being left alone in a room all day and no one having time for him anymore --- its NOT THE DOGS FAULT and he deserves more careful consideration and creative thinking before he's sent packing . You asked for "unbiased advice" on what to do about your dog - that's mine! I honestly think, if you can alleviate the major stressor for you (ie the poop and pee issue) you may find yourself having a more positive regard for this crazy dog who survived such a serious injury. And btw - IMHO, having kids is actually a good reason to either a) make it work - or b) if all else fails finding him a good home yourself via your network of friends and relations (not just dumping off at a shelter). Either of those 2 options - what a great lesson for kids to see you modeling how we care for the animals we've taken responsibility for.