I made a mess in my oven the week before escrow closed and we moved out. It was not a self cleaning oven, so a messy job. I kept telling myself that I was cleaning someone else's oven. Put it in perspective.

Cherish the good times you'll remember forever and look forward to the new memories ahead. If your kids are grown will you be closer to grand kids, have more time for travel or hobbies, or be able to downsize to a lifestyle that's easier?

I took pictures of every nook and cranny, down to the different door knobs I found at house demolitions and junk stores over the years. I had the luxury of not having a job to go to so while packing I spent time in each room, sorting, reminiscing, crying. And our realtor had fantastic pro photos done, not all were used in the listing but the photographer sent me all she took, large files and I still go through them from time to time.

I had the same feeling when I sold my Florida home. My father-in-law who passed away spent time with us there and we had many great memories with our kids and grandchildren but like Stan says take the good memories with you and make new ones that will be just as special. We are getting ready to sell our main home (may wait till after winter at this point) and we have 2 dogs and a cat buried here. It is tough but there is so much to look forward to in a new home. Wishing you the best. It is hard but the sadness lessens.

The other thing to do, and I know it can be hard, is to treat the sale of the house like a business decision. Once you've made the decision to move most people want the house to sell for a good price in a reasonable amount of time. One of the often overlooked roles of a realtor is to help you make objective decisions about the house: asking price, accepted price, repairs, staging. We've been very lucky picking realtors and they have generally given us great advice that we've taken with only minor modification.

I moved a lot. Like, a lot. Countries, continents, coasts..

What I learned-it's a process.

You might strangely feel nothing. It's okay. You'll have years to feel something later. Things don't happen exactly like we want them to. Including ourselves. We have our own timing..and it's not supposed to match the timing that would be, say, more convenient or easy.

Or you might be all overcome with sadness, very deep sadness, almost pain.

And still, you'll have years ahead of you. You might experience what DLM wrote. Not right away, as time passes. The sharp pain will morph into sadness, the sadness will morph into something softer, blurred..

Or you might be surprised things are easier for you than you expected. Something new will preoccupy you. Your home will always stay in your heart, it will just move to the background, behind the curtains. Yet it still be a part of you.

No feeling is final (c)

The best thing I did(or rather had to do) was repeating it many many times..and knowing that if I could go through A, B, C, and D-I'll pull through the E too. I stopped expecting that my feelings will match some schedule. They won't. And it's fine.

After the kids left home, we decided to move after 30+ years at our house. We had remodeled it twice, and I did a lot of the work, and our kids lived there from birth to leaving home. I remember how difficult it was to put it on the market. The thing that saved me was we bought a really airy, smaller house with a unique design, and it made the sadness of the transition a lot less painful. Now, a number of years later, when I drive by the old house, I marvel at how attached I was to it at the moment I let it go, and how little nostalgia I now have. Having another place to move on to that you really like, and the passage of a little bit of time, will resolve your feelings.

A house is only an object you live in. The memories are inside of you. You've gotten some excellent advice. I'm going to suggest something for when you move into your new place.

The best thing to do is as you pack, make sure you pack the most important things separately. They aren't your clothes, or even the kitchen stuff. They are your favorite pictures, knick knacks, books etc. Pack these separately and as soon as the furniture is moved into the house, hang those pictures, put out the knick knacks, etc. Then get to work on putting away the kitchen stuff, the clothing, etc.

This way the new place won't feel so barren to you and it will feel as if you've moved part of your past with you.

I have no advice yet but I feel for you as I am currently going through the same thing. We've been packing up much of our personal items as we just listed our home of 16 years and are preparing for our first open house this weekend.

I'm a bit of an emotional mess right now and keep having second thoughts about selling. Good advice above. I wish you well in your journey.

We just sold our house of 18 years last February. I still miss some things about that house (my kitchen, for one thing), but we have been in our new home since May and find that we are just fine. A lot of time spent meeting new neighbors, noticing things about the neighborhood, such as neighbor's gardens, new shops and ways to get places. Yes, the memories will be there, and I keep in touch with old neighbors, but it's like losing a person you love. Start to focus on the best memories and keep them. Then start marking new connections with your new home.

Here's a nice article on how to Bloom Where You Are Planted. I hope it helps.

It helped me "let go" to imagine the new family's happiness walking in to their new home. I made sure the house was clean and welcoming for them, including little things like full rolls of toilet paper in all bathrooms, a vase of flowers on the kitchen counter, sparkling clean windows. Outside, I mowed and trimmed the grass the day before closing. I had worked to get the gardens as pretty and as easy-maintenance as possible. I left a simple diagram of the garden with the major trees and plantings labelled.

Like DLM2000, I took lots of pictures for myself -- views down the hall, across rooms, closeups of little things. I've only looked at them once.

I think some people are more attached to homes than others. For some people, a home is just a huge part of who one is. Such people may also be very sentimental.

Just last week, I discovered that my in law 's house in Westchester County is on the market again. They lived there over 50 years. My MIL died in Feb and my FIL died 13 months later. My own husband died 4 years after that - he was about 6-7 when they moved into it. The main changes that have been done since it was sold in June 2011 are external - a horse barn, a pool house and the pool redone. Inside, all I could see was the redone kitchen and butler's pantry; pictures didn't show the servants wing so I don't know if it was added back into the house or not.

It felt very odd looking at a house I knew so well. It was empty for the most part but I could remember every piece of furniture and where it was. My MIL was very attached to that house - she would never have sold it. Her feelings were like those of an Englishman with a family seat. My son wanted to buy it but his then fiancé, now ex-wife would live no where but CT. I wish it could have stayed in the family. I truly think if I were to win the Lottery, I might buy it. But I wouldn't sell my house. I hope the funeral home does my move - it would be leaving so many memories behind, to say nothing of a graveyard of beloved pets! But then I get very attached to things...people and pets, too!

i would have made a lousy military or corporate wife with constant moves!

Take a picture of your house print it out... then write a check for what the house is worth.

Hold the two of them in your hand... which one do you want more?

If you want the house more, you probably are not making the right decision.

If you can visualize it, you're at least half way there.

I have no advice, but I get it. We moved three years ago from a home we were in for 12 years. I have three boys, and it was the only home they remembered. I had to paint over their growth charts and hand prints on the wall. My saving grace was I always hated the location. We were in a rural community and I had to drive 5 miles to get a gallon of milk.

So maybe move somewhere that is more convenient? Solves a problem?

Sometimes I miss that old house, only because of the memories. My kids miss it like crazy. Where we live now is better in so many ways. The grocery store is two blocks away!

My suggestion is to buy a bottle (or two!) of champagne , and sit with your spouse or children or family or whomever, and toast the house and thank it for so many years of wonderful shelter, loving times, and heartfelt memories. Talk about some of the memories and remember what the house was like when you first you again, any changes you might have made, and tell each other stories. Really feel how grateful you are to have had that house. Then, toast the family that will be living there and loving the house and building their own memories. Finally, drink a toast to yourselves, your future, all things good.

Force your mind to accept that you are going to something, not away. It's a lot easier to look forward than back. It helps. Then, tell yourself about the business decisions and process that needs completion. Activity helps.

This last weekend I was at a long-time friend's lake house. Her now deceased father built the house from foundation up with his own hands. He was an engineer and the house was stout and well built with a lot of effort and thought. She is getting to the point where it's becoming expensive to hold on to the house and it really needs to be sold.

I asked her if she would have already sold it if her parents had bought it rather than built it? She said, of course she would sold it long since. Then I told her to think that selling it would become inevitable. It was just a question of when, not if. Her only decision was when. I think that helped her put it into perspective. She's getting ready for the next phase of her life. She should look forward and not backward. Then it becomes a business process.

Leaving the buried cat behind was the hard part. We'd planted some day lilies to mark the spot, so before moving we dug up some of the tubers to move to the new house.

c t,

Transplanting some of the tubers was a really nice idea!

I moved every 3-4 years for over two decades while in the Navy. We always looked forward to the new home.

We loved our old house but it didn't work for us anymore. We searched long and hard for our new house, love it too, but always missed our first home. Surprised to get an invitation from the present owners to a block party with old neighbours and to see the house. We were delighted to go, and to find a young couple with a new baby, thrilled to have it as their new permanent home. The fact that the old house is still loved and full of life helped us to let it go.

Suzieque, I love that idea! We are talking about moving cross country to be near a DD and her family. There is a possibility of returning. When I think of living in this town but now i the house we designed and had built, it saddens me. I need to rejoice in that fact that this has been a great house for our family.

I remember reading a story of a European noble. As he walked the visiting journalist around his estate, he pointed out the graves of his ancestors dating back seven centuries. Now that might be hard to leave.

What I miss about past homes--22 or so since 1980--is the capital gain foregone!

This is a really interesting thread I'll be following. I'm 53, only child of only children, and have lived in my house with my parents since I was 3. Now Dad is gone, Mom is in a nursing home. Tough to maintain all on my own. It's, as one of you said, inevitable that I'll have to sell it some day, but it's the only home I've ever known. The house is the only "life as I knew it" presence in my life. It's gonna be a very difficult some day.

Meg O'Connor, it must be very hard to leave the house you grew up in, but maybe you can instead think of new adventures you'll be having once you sell the house.

We lived in our home 29 years. It was very hard to leave, but we were moving to our lake house. Noow we've been here 10 years and I still miss the old place, well, mostly the neighborhood. One of the neighbors called me a few years back to tell me, "Your old house is up for sale, now you can move back!"

That's one of the reasons I loved our old neighborhood. Another neighbor has hunting property about 30 miles from us, he and his boys come up and I all ways bring them chocolate chip cookies I bake.

That close bond we all had I miss.

I think being excited about a new home (what memories will you make there? What things can't you wait to do/how to live there), as well as lots of photos of the old home are helpful. Personally, I'd make sure I had photos, but wouldn't want to look at them until the sale is said and done...

We sold our condo in May and are currently renting in the same building. The person who bought our condo made just enough changes that when I went to look, I realized it was no longer my beautiful condo.