I did not read from your message that he was doing anything inappropriate with your sister, it sounded like she was married... If this is the case then it sounds like it would help our your sister.

And is there a reason you need to have phone conversations with your Ex?

Not really. I'm going through a separation after 20 years and after him begging to maintain casual communication, I finally relented. I guess it was easier for me to accept his calls than harbor the pain and anger. Yes, she is married, however, I personally feel that they do not have to be doing anything 'inappropriate' for the situation to be inappropriate. As a sister or friend, I could never see myself taking in my sibling's or even my friend's ex-spouse into my home, especially knowing that they are going through a divorce and I do not know the circumstances around that divorce. That, to me, is inappropriate. I would definitely contact my sibling/friend before even considering to take that person in.

Well, you are not your sister, and she obviously doesn't think the same way that you do. And you can't change that. Make yourself miserable by dwelling on it, or move on with your life.

Didn't you post elsewhere about another sister mooching off you? Do you get the idea that you'd be better off to keep your sisters, all of them, at a distant arm's reach?

'Do you get the idea that you'd be better off to keep your sisters, all of them, at a distant arm's reach?

Sushipup, do you mean judge all by a few?

By the way, I did take one of the poster's advice in my post elsewhere and spoke to my other sister about the mooching and it actually went quite well. Her/His suggestions really helped. So I'm happy that I finally put aside my pride and came to this site to ask for assistance with my personal issues.

Leave them to each other. Sounds like they have similar values - or lack of. And why would you help a 50 year old man find an apartment? Say goodbye, walk away and don't get sucked back into this game.

I got divorced after 22 years of marriage and I also kept the house because the ex couldn't afford it. He has lived with friends, renting a room off them. Honestly if my sister had taken him in, I wouldn't have cared. At least now he's not begging you to let him live with you!

In your case though, if you've let your sister know how much it bothers you, then it would be better for her to not have him live there. Hopefully you've let her know how you feel before you cut off communication.

Good luck moving forward with your divorce. For me, it was the best decision of my life!

I agree with most. Divorce him. Move on. Forget him. Not your problem.

I can understand your feelings of being hurt because your sister did not tell you this was being discussed, but to insinuate it was inappropriate is a stretch. Did you explicitly ask your sister to cease all communication with your soon to be ex?

Considering you were married for 20 years it's likely your sister, her husband, and your soon to be ex have become friendly over the years so on surface there is nothing inappropriate about them renting out a room to your ex considering there financial situation.

On the other hand, if you did ask your sister to cease all involvement with the ex and she betrayed your request then that would be a violation, in my opinion.

I agree with you completely. I do think its inappropriate. You are trying to rid yourself of your ex husband and your sister is perpetuating the relationship. He needs to move on, away from you and your family. As far as your sister goes, I probably wouldnt talk to her or visit her until that situation changed. She is only thinking about herself in this situation, thats unfair to you.

Your sister needed the money - it was a financial situation with someone she knew. Sounds reasonable to me.

When you put someone down, it is absolutely none of your business whom they pick up and when. Dude gets every man's fantasy, a guilt-free shot at nailing his ex-sister-in-law. I think that's what's bugging you.