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Arnold's Betrayal???

15 years ago

Arnold wasn't the only one who cheated...what about that women...no one is mentioning her betrayal to her 13 year old son, her ex-husband, her other three children...What about her???...I believe she pursued Arnold and like a man he fell for it....BOTH were wrong and to carried on for ten years in the same house???Absolutely betrayal!

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Comments (26)

suzieque
15 years ago
Of course. But she's not famous (well, maybe NOW she is!). So he gets the attention from it. And the ex wasn't her ex when it happened - she cheated on her husband the same way he cheated on his wife.

I don't know who pursued whom; To believe he she pursued him, as you've said, kind of takes the blame from him - as though you're saying that it's not his fault that he gave in to a loose woman who was chasing him. And I don't believe that for a second.
lynn_d
15 years ago
It takes two and no matter who pursued whom, I consider it to be equally wrong. It doesn't hurt any less to know that one's spouse cheated because he wasn't the instigator. There is no innocent party in this, other than the cheated on spouse and the children.
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> If that were true, why haven't you spoken with the spouses of all those other people you know how are being deceitful with their families (thinking maybe you need a different group of friends)? They're mostly family I couldn't control, and they already have children and thus I would potentially be hurting innocent victims (which isn't to say the kids wouldn't be better off if their parents split, only that I don't want to be the instigator. And really, in the most egregrious example, I'm pretty sure the cheatee is fairly close to figuring it out by now without my help. It's up to them to decide how to proceed. And in all of these cases, it just doesn't involve me, and there are shades of grey I didn't see in the first one. If I really was as obsessed with seeking revenge as you want to think, I would used those email messages to get *him* fired, rather than inform his wife but take no action directly against him. If I really was after him, I could have easily exposed him and made him look terrible to his clients and to the company. I didn't. > In addition, you said you did have an opportunity to talk to the wife face-to-face at the party, but chose not to do so. Will you now say that you just didn't want to ruin the party for her? That is correct. Causing a scene at a party wouldn't be tactful, could humiliate her in front of a crowd, and obviously would implicate me as the whistleblower which for reasons previously mentioned I wanted to avoid. I wasn't out to ruin the party for her. I wasn't out to ruin anything or anyone. I wanted her to know the truth, and I did so in a way that didn't embarrass Bob in front of his colleagues, much less cost him his job, both of which I could have done if I was as mean-spirited as some of you want to think I am. I didn't. Bob got to keep his job - I didn't divulge his beliefs and writings to his company or his clients. I didn't divulge anything about his personal life to anyone at work either. I chose to inform only one person who was being hurt, and did so quietly. I'm not attempting to put you to my defense - I feel more than able to defend myself. There's not much more I can say and I know many of you will never agree with my reasoning or support how I responded. I'm not sure I wouldn't support what I did either if it were a hypothetical case that someone mentioned on an internet web forum. But for me it wasn't a hypothetical case, and real people I knew were involved, and I had to make decisions in real time, and I had to do things that I don't normally like to do to achieve what I thought to be an acceptable outcome. I understand why many of you find my actions to have been unethical or wrongheaded - I understand, but don't happen to agree. Maybe I should track this woman down and get her take, online if not in person. I am confident she'd be very glad I decided it was ethically correct not to keep mum, but rather to save her from unwittingly living a lie. As far as I'm concerned, that would be all the vindication and good karma I would ever need.
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socks - that's what I've been wondering. Maria and her children have my full sympathy but Arnold is not the most subtle man around. The local news played a video of Arnold and a beautiful young woman who were being interviewed. The way he reached over and patted her upper thigh made me cringe- yet he did it several more times while being filmed. During his election campaign there were several reports of his behavior but he seemed to be able to 'charm' the criticism away with the support of his wife. I think his 'womanizing' is second nature to him and I doubt that he'd be able to totally conceal it from someone who is as sharp as Maria. With her political background I almost wonder if she decided to keep quiet until Arnold's term was over. It's a terrible situation and I hope she and her children are able to handle it.
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cynic
15 years ago
You sure hit it on the head. It's interesting how so many here have the belief that only men cheat and it's always "the poor woman". Women never cheat, so what was this maid? LOL It's all the "man's" fault. I laughed also at how "vows" are brought up, but only for some, often excluding the critics' indiscretions when female, of course. Arnold breaking his vows were sacrilegious, but the maid breaking hers, well, guess they're just another "poor woman" victimized by a man. So that's OK. "Feel sorry for me, don't hold me responsible" seems to be the popular motto around here at times. And isn't it also entertaining that birth control is now only the man's responsibility? Yep, it's a changing world.

A marriage used to be for better or worse... till death... but now it's whatever's most convenient and profitable, both for men *and* women. And of course, always the man's fault. That's right, only men have loose morals. Yep, I forgot.
cynic
15 years ago
Oh and as for things coming out in public? Well folks it's well known to everyone that in this day and age it's hard to keep these things secret. You go into the public eye for money you know what you're in for so it's hard to feel sorry for them. And yes, you also subject your family and friends to scrutiny. There is no private life to public people. That's not a secret either.
socks
15 years ago
I agree, she is at fault too. And then to sneak around for 10 years knowing what they knew, unforgivable.
jannie
15 years ago
Once again, i'll say what I believe: It's not my business what happened. Only the people involved know the truth.
susie53_gw
15 years ago
Sadly, now a days a lot of people don't care. And I am talking about men and women.. How could this woman work for the family knowing what she ( they ) had done. Being pregnant at the same time as the wife. Disgusting.. Women ( men ) like this are NOT much. To do this to another family is so wrong.. Did they care about any of their children? Hell no they didn't. I would bet this is the the only woman Ole Arnold has taken to bed...

All in all I think Maria is doing the best she can in this situation. She is trying to do what's best for her children. She will move on and do wonderful things. She is a strong woman..

Marriage is a lot of work. Both sides have to work at it. I remember my sweet FIL and I having a long talk about marriage and having children. He did not believe in divorce. He said no matter if you are married 5 or 35 years and divorce, your child will still come from a broken home. I know he truly felt this way because my MIL was a very difficult woman.. A dear friend whose parents had divorced told me one time that for children divorce is the worst thing parents can do to their children. It ruins holidays, birthdays, get togethers, weddings and on and on.. It is for a lifetime..
SunnyDJ
15 years ago
In the news this morning, there are others that dear Arnold had fun with, disgusting! And they said, this maid "pretended" she was Maria, even going as far as trying on her clothes when she wasn't home....Looking at her picture, she sure was no Maria.....
User
15 years ago
I think Cynic nailed it. The woman in these cases is every bit as guilty as the man, no matter WHO instigated it in the first place. Years ago something very similar happened to me... I was betrayed by my then-husband and someone very close to me, and it was an ongoing thing for months and months till I found out. That experience forever changed my attitude about cheating spouses. There is never an excuse good enough for this level of betrayal, such as what Arnold did. It's not cute and it's not ok, in spite of what's portrayed on tv nowadays. He's now a dirtbag in my opinion and so is the maid.
linda_in_iowa
15 years ago
I can't figure out why guys like Arnold and John Edwards don't use condoms to protect themselves and their wives from STDs. Condoms would also protect them from scandals.
arcy_gw
15 years ago
Really, you don't know why? Arnold was is always has been a womanizer. He was portrayed as a good guy. He has fallen so we are outraged. She we don't know, why would we care? Stay tuned folks we have just scratched the surface of the "Arnold is a creep because" list.
dotmom
15 years ago
I agree, it took two to tango and both are just as much in the wrong...equally. As for it being the man's responsibility for birth control, well it is, for a smart man, who doesn't want to be a daddy. Only a stupid man would take a woman's word she is on some kind of birth control. If he takes her word, or is foolish not to put on a raincoat...don't be surprised if he has 18 years of child support
sue36
15 years ago
I find it hard to believe that woman tried on Maria's clothes. Maria is a size 2-4, the mistress is about a 16. Maybe she held the clothes up to herself, no way she got into them.
doteroo
15 years ago
There was a picture of the woman on yahoo and she is horrible looking.
sleeperblues
15 years ago
I blame the man, almost always. (I still blame Angelina Jolie, lol) I had a much more succinct reply but was banned from posting it due to possibly the s word, I don't know. But when a man is rich and powerful, he feels he can take what he wants. The housekeeper is collateral damage. A perfect example of this is the case in NYC involving the French IMF dude. While the housekeeper obviously participated in the affair and aftermath, I would bet my life on it that Arnold pursued her and coerced her.
susie53_gw
15 years ago
The deed would have never happened if the woman wasn't willing!!!!!!!!! Come on, even if he pursued her she didn't have to join in!!! It takes two to do the deed! She is as quilty as he is!!!! She worked for Arnold AND Maria!!!! She should have though about this before jumping into bed with the man of the house... Don't feel sorry for either of them.. Feel sorry for Maria and her children as well as the maid's son.. They didn't ask for any of this...

Look at what is happening now, Arnold and the maid are in hiding.. This ought to tell you something..
User
15 years ago
Both are equally wrong, but I have always held to the thought that when it comes to an available woman, men think with their smaller head instead of the head that has brains! PERIOD!
lisa_fla
15 years ago
As bad as the affair was, I think its worse that Arnold and the housekeeper have lived this lie right in front of Maria for 10 years. How can they have a child and act like nothing happened for 10 YEARS! She still worked in the house until this January.
wantoretire_did
15 years ago
Chiming in here..... Can't wait to read this week's Time magazine cover story: "Sex. Lies. Arrogance. What Makes Powerful Men Act Like Pigs". Maybe it will provide some insight into the arrogant and untouchable attitudes they have.
arcy_gw
15 years ago
I think some of those who post here need to do some research. Arnold is a pig, for sure, but these powerful men have women throwing themselves at them. They are not "collateral damage" they are making a play, trying to improve their place in life through the bedroom. Women hang out where these men stay when away from home. There isn't one or two there are CROWDS all hoping to get into his pants, make an ever lasting impression and win the prize, HIS LIFE. I am sure the acute pain comes from 10 years, inside her house, her bed, with someone who was supposed to be "safe" with her husband. Oh ya and there is the child they conceived too.
sleeperblues
15 years ago
"Research" shows that the more powerful a man is, the more likely it is that he will commit adultery due to his sense of entitlement. Collateral damage is seen as unavoidable. That doesn't mean the woman didn't participate--that would be a foolish statement. It obviously takes two. I have no doubt that people throw themselves at powerful people, both male and female. You need to do your own research, Arcy. There's no "right answer" to this one, sorry.
wantoretire_did
15 years ago
I was married to a man who was in a profession that has women humming all around, so am no stranger to that. And, the whole Tiger Woods debacle laid it all out (no pun intended) in disgusting detail, but there is always more to learn about certain behaviors and their cause and effect/affect.
susie53_gw
15 years ago
Come on people both Arnold and the housekeeper are creeps. They "both" knew it was wrong.. Neither cared.. Just because the bait in thrown out in front of you doesn't mean you take it.. We are not taking about young people here. Put the blame where it belongs, on both of them.. I don't feel one bit sorry for Arnold or the housekeeper. My heart goes out to Maria and her children and the housekeeper's child.. They are the ones that will get hurt in all of this and they didn't ask for any of it..
They were just simply living their lives as kids are suppose to do and look at what the adults in their lives did to them.. Shameful!!!!!

Sadly, women are coming out of the woodwork now and what is this going to do to their children? These crazy women should have spoke up when it happened if it did, not now!!!!!!!!! Money to be made for them.. I have no respect for men or women like this. Leave someone else's spouse alone if you don't want trouble..
ruthieg__tx
15 years ago
The problem is that we don't know the "other" woman and we know Arnold and more importantly we know Maria.
samkaren
15 years ago
When you step back and take a second look....does it really matter? I mean...who really cares about Arnold anyway? Whatever actions he decides to take in his private life have no bearing on mine. Same for other celebritites and their problems.

Sorry...I'm just in a cranky mood today....having my own issues at the moment.
I'm going to go take a nap and they will go away for a few hours.

SamKaren
your resident DJ
petaloid
15 years ago
Feel better, SamKaren.

A friend and I were discussing this yesterday. She faulted the housekeeper more, saying she had betrayed our "sisterhood." That women are supposed to look out for each other, not sleep with each others' husbands.
I see her point, but think Arnold shares equal responsibility for this mess.

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