Angelina files for Divorce
9 years ago
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Help! Getting divorced :(
Comments (31)It does suck. My wife cheated on me, but I was no day at the beach either. I compartmentalized my marriage as I do with many aspects of my life. I focused on the woman I first married and minimized the mess. It's hard and took a while (6 months was about right for me). I learned to laugh about the cheating because it beats crying. I don't mean laugh to cover up sadness, but to really see how silly it all is. To compartmentalize the mess part I created one catch phase that I could tell friends if needed, but mostly to tell myself. "She's 300 lbs and living in a trailer." I don't really know what happened to my x and I have no interest because in my head she's 300 lbs and living in a trailer. Pain is the brain dwelling on an event trying to make sense out of something that makes no sense. So I gave my brain an answer...she was dumb and is now 300 lbs and living in a trailer. Visually she's sitting at a kitchen table in a moo-moo smoking and drinking disgusting coffee. Took some training but brain seems pretty happy having an answer and after a while I had no desire to stalk her to see what she was doing, no desire to connect again and try one more time. I have the memory of marrying a great woman, super hot (I even make her more hot in my head), but then she changed into a moron, 300 lbs, and living in a trailer. The appeal faded. The catch phrase also help cut short talking about the mess. The mess is the mess, nothing to be done about that. No amount of talking is going to provide any insight. Cheating is just plain dumb for all parties. Your husband is now with someone who wants to live with a cheater. So lucky her. He will again and he gets to relive this nightmare over and over, so lucky him. That's their mess. Your mess is over, no reason to dwell on that silly crap so I never really wanted to rehash it for friends and family. I'd say the catch phrase, friends did their duty to ask, and we moved on to a more interesting subject. Therapists...if you really need to. I've been to therapists with partners. Some are good, some not. They can be a crutch too. It can be just one more place to dwell and vent. Use caution. Lawyers are there to make money. Use caution trusting what they say. You are the only one responsible for your best interests. Never turn that over to anyone else because it's an illusion. Once again brain trying to trick you. Dumb old brain. Stay away from booze and other drugs. This isn't the time to get dumb. I didn't date for 6 months from the time the divorce was final, no matter who came along. Figured anyone who would date someone in that state wasn't someone I'd be interested anyways. At one point I was considering ending it all...but then I kind of reviewed things and thought "anything I should do first?" I always wanted to going fishing on Great Bear lake...so I should do that first. At that moment a switch flipped...how silly this whole drama was. Many people do go do lots of new stuff, and whatever works is great. But it may be dreaming of stuff is enough to fill your mind with new adventure. I never went to Great Bear lake. Didn't need to. I learned a lot from my failed marriage. Worked on myself (I needed it, not saying you do, but who can't stand with a little improvement) and became a much better husband. I did marry again and have had a great marriage for 15 years. I'm so thankful my x cheated on me. I'd send her a carton of cigarettes and a box of Ding Dongs if I knew what trailer park she was living in....See MoreHow sad! Divorce for Dog Whisperer and wife
Comments (12)I am not surprised really..Cesar has become quite the celebrity as of late. I am sure his new fame and fortune has changed him somewhat and he is an attractive guy.Next we will see him on the pages of the supermarket tabloids with some hot young thing on his arm,,, I'll be waiting....See MoreEva Longoria Divorcing.
Comments (10)I am sad to hear it. She reportedly said something to the effect...I still love my husband and this just makes me so sad......Evidently it wasn't something that just happened but has been going on for nearly a year...I hope she kicks his butt to the curb.........and moves on....If a many can't be faithful, then I say you are better off without him....kick his butt to the curb....See MoreHelp and advice needed - to divorce or not to divorce?
Comments (7)"he continues to have personality conflict issues. He has no filter, and further fails to take responsibility for the problems he thinks isn't his fault." Without a strong will and a concerted effort on hos part to change this, it will always be the same. Does he want to change? Is he willing to go to counselling? If not, I can predict with a large degree of certitude that this cycle of getting a job, then being unemployed will continue until he retires. " I do everything around the house (cleaning and yardwork) in addition to my full time job." Even now that he is unemployed? IMO when you are both working, jobs should be divided equitably (not necessarily equally, but according to who likes and is good at doing particular jobs and how you _both_ feel happy with the division). A non-working partner's contribution to the partnership is, IMO the lion's share of the household chores. This is as valuable as the other partner's monetary contribution. " I don't want to kiss someone I have to tell to brush their teeth and take a shower." Yuck. While not exactly physically abusive, it's not the act of a caring partner. Yes, he may have let his personal hygiene slip due to depression caused by being unemployed, yada yada, but if he's depressed he needs to get counselling and _fix_ the depression. How will he get a new job if he's dirty and smelly? " But there is still a fear that I will be alone forever" And if you were, would that be worse than continuing in your current situation? You probably won't be, though I wouldn't rush into another relationship for its own sake though- you already know how that plays out. I guess your decision will hinge largely on counselling. You need it for yourself to work through your own thoughts and decide what you want out of life. He needs it to work on his depression and other issues. If you want to save the relationship, you need it together to work out how you're going to do that. I wish you luck....See More- 9 years ago
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