I think you pretty much have to plan out what you want to do to keep from being bored as you say. I'm very close to retirement, in fact considering it as soon as the end of August if I don't go part time then for a few months until the end of the year.

I've had my 'Plan B' in mind for quite some time. Part of it involves cleaning out part of my closets, drawers, and generally minimizing in general. I've done some of it, but like most other people, there is always more I should do.

The rest involves what I want to do in volunteering. DH retired about 5 years ago and he has been involved in several volunteer jobs. I encouraged some of them and surprisingly, those have endured and he has met several friends that way even though a couple of them are seasonal. My hope is that a few of the things I do, he can participate in as well, so we can do more things together. That may not be for everyone, and I'm not saying we will do all things together. I also have some friends I'm going to catch up with for lunch, antique browsing, etc. My list is long, lol!

This is what my dad did, which I think is a great "model" at least for someone like him. He took early retirement at 59, mostly because he hated his (low-paying, high-aggravation) job for most of the 30+ years he was there. The week after he retired, my mother passed away unexpectedly. So he had no one to enjoy his retirement with -- it seemed like a worst case scenario. But he had friends who got him involved almost immediately with volunteer work, including Meals On Wheels. Long story short, within a year he was the area coordinator for MOW, a paid position, about 20 hours a week, with full benefits. He is now 81 and still has that job, and loves it. He also continues his evening volunteer work about 3 nights/week, and goes to the gym every single day. His "retirement" has worked out really well for him! His theme song is "I'm keeping my mind and body active." He mentions that literally every time I talk to him.

DH is taking the first step toward retirement as of this week, so this is a timely discussion. He is 54 and has worked at a fast-paced, high-stress job for 26 years. Rather than have a stroke at his desk, he spent a long time thinking about, then developing with his company, a plan: he is taking the entire summer off, starting tomorrow (!). When he returns to work on Sept. 1, it will be in a different capacity which is too complicated to get into here, but he will be working 3 days a week. And the job will be more project-based rather than the frenetic daily pace of his current job. His move is somewhat groundbreaking for his company because it's a fairly young company (he was one of the first employees) and not many have retired or even cut back on FT hours. It seems like it will be a great job for him to stick with for at least several more years. (At least I hope so, because I am not ready for him to be home 24/7!) He is an avid photographer, so he plans to do more with that on his days off, and maybe even spend some time driving carpools. ;)

I found this book very helpful in thinking through choices. Work less live more the way to semi retirement although after the 2008 downturn choices disappeared for a lot of people. This book is very good because it discusses both the financial and the emotional aspects.

If I was planning on aging in place, I would spend the money on a new roof, paint job, updated carpets, plumbing etc. and have it paid for in full before retiring. Same is true for the toys, if there was some particular toy that I just really had wanted and I had put off buying because I didn't have enough time, and now I would have the time I would definitely buy it and pay for it and then retire (and I would be shopping craigslist constantly to hoefully speed the process up). But I would also be extremely cautious about toys-what sounds great while you are working full-time may look much less attractive when you have ample time to deal with it.

Unless you go really gung ho non-stop at it, cleaning out and decluttering the house will take about a year- which isn't bad because it took a lot longer to get the way it is.

I would definitely start an exercise program right away and really spend that first year getting in my best tiptop shape and planning on staying there. The last thing you want is lots of time and no ability to enjoy it. Interestingly, I find that if I get older the less punishing exercise regimens give more benefit so gentle yoga gives much more benefit than P90X.

I would also begin looking around for places to join or volunteer doing things that interest me. When I was younger I always made friends in school. Even now I am still taking university level classes but I can assure you that while I am making friends, these are not the kind of friendships that you have with your contemporaries. (I am older than most students' mothers)

For men in particular a lot of the local restaurants have a long table where the men gather and have their breakfast together- it seems like they never learned to cook.

Hope this helps.

I have seen many people work until retirement age and on and finally retire only to become sick and/or pass away. I am not retirement age, but several years back went to part-time. For the past few years I have toyed with the idea of completely retiring. My hubby loves his line of work and has a dream job of working in a small (but very successful) company. He works mainly with one other employee that is a good friend. They have a good time! He is in no hurry to retire anytime soon and will probably retire somewhere around 62. He HAS to be busy and truly loves what he does so his plan is to keep a few of his personal customers. He has a shop at home, could do this and work when he wanted. I cannot seem to bite the bullet just yet. I am a very social person and enjoy that aspect of work. I already volunteer, we have friends and activities outside of work, family in the area, etc. so I do not see retirement affecting our social circle. I strongly believe as we age and face declining health, we need our support system. I watched as my mom went through a devastating illness and my dad had hip replacement surgery at that same time. The support, care, help, comfort they received from their circle of friends (and of course family) really made an impact on me. I think for us the hardest thing will be deciding when the time is right to retire. I am thinking for myself within the next year although I would love to find something closer to home for a couple of days a week or to fill-in. Who knows?

Not retired yet and haven't seen a lot of scenarios that I could share. We do know one couple who retired in their mid-50s (actually wife never worked outside the home). They retired to their lake home and were bored and had no social life. They sold the home and are building a home in a new development in Florida. They haven't described it as a retirement community but I imagine that's the status of most people there. When finished the community will have lots of amenities and I think they expect to build a new social circle there. Their preretirement lives revolved around work and kids. Work is over and kids have now moved all over the country for their careers.

I too have thought about the social circle as I've spent a lot of time working and have a smaller number of close friends vs a wide social circle. I'm more on the introverted side so don't feel compelled to join groups or be around a bunch of people all the time. I do like to meet new people and have no problem striking up a conversation, etc. However DH is the social director for us so I do at times wonder if I'd become a hermit if I ended up by myself. I know when I retire I will have to force myself to get involved with things. I see opportunities to do so that I pass up now because I'm too busy with work.

One thing we have done in the last year is move from our somewhat isolated house in the woods to a townhome community. It seems most everyone there is over 50 and so far there seem to be quite a few people we have a lot in common with. There were a variety of reasons we moved but the idea of a closer knit neighborhood was appealing to me with aging in mind. We also bought a different weekend lake home that though in the woods, is in a neighborhood of people much like us.

DH never wants to retire. He has retired from corporate America though and bought his own business. As long as he keeps that going he will work there as long as he's physically and mentally able to do so. He loves it. I will retire when I no longer enjoy my work or the company no longer wants me or I become to daffy to be effective. I do want to move on and let one of the younger people who report to me move up in their career.

I retired at 62, and i'll be 74 in Sept. I 've been very fortunate since i'm able to travel, thanks to DH's savvy investments/retirement savings he started thru a work program which was matched by his employer, and a nice penson check every month. He was in his early 30's when companies seemed to care more than they do today. I have adult children as well as grandchildren in 3 states. I take my 3 dd's on a girls trip every spring, my yougest son and I take a 7 day vacation every summer, I visit my bff for 3 weeks every fall, and fly out my oldest son from NC for 5 days every summer since his idea of a vacation is R&R at my *quiet* house, away from 5 kids. lol Besides all this traveling, i'll fly to Ca to visit my middle DD before GS goes back to school. If not then, it will be for his birthday in June. This year i'Il be flying 3 of the kids out to Tx for my youngest son's 50th birthday in August. We did the same when oldest dd/son turned 50, realizing we ain't gonna be around forever. It goes without saying that the siblings are very close, and never forget each others birthday, Thansgiving, Christmas, New Year's, with at least a text or phone call. My winter season is much more quiet. I'm a vendor in a local antique mall, and love the camaraderie with other vendors and employees. It's a diverse group of men/women, young/old(er), but we all have one thing in common, and can always find out about the latest auctions, estate sales, as well as other sales in the area. It keeps me busy and I get to do a little shopping, a little painting, and decorating my space in the process, which means I get to move things around more than I do at home. I've been doing this for almost 7 years. I haven't really made close friends with anyone since I do spend a lot of time with my family here in Tx, but it could be time.....or look for part time work. ;)

My inlaws are mostly at home and seem to have a great model for healthy, interesting retirement. They have good friends they cultivated throughout the years. They are very social and meet interesting people while travelling, and they are on good terms with their children and spouses. They have an explicit philosophy to cultivate friendships with people of all ages. Their interests include gardening and the theatre and they have a subscription to our local playhouse.

They volunteer and golf and FIL sits on a lot of boards. FIL's dream is to travel extensively: MIL isn't quite there yet although they go on a couple of trips a year. She and my DH are kind of more homebodies. I wish I could get FIL to take me instead as I love to travel but we really aren't that close so it would be weird! I would definitely travel with my own dad were he so inclined.

one thing I would add is they both have good friends based on shared interests and they take time to cultivate those friendships. I think that is so important.

We have just retired and moved across country to be close to our son and his family. So far, my husband has been busy with new-house stuff, and I have always told him that I don't care what he does with his time, it MUST involve talking to other people and being out of the house. I've done a lot of volunteer work over the years, and it will be easy to get back into similar work when we are settled. But DH? He needs to be prodded to get started.

I am curious, sushipup1, as to why you feel your DH must get out of the house and talk to people. Please understand I am not trying to be confrontational - I truly would like to know the reasoning behind this.

I'm not sushipup, I know for us my husband needs to be out and about mostly so I can continue with my routine. Days that he is home, we can waste a whole morning chatting about nothing while sipping coffee. That is fine once in awhile, but I still have things to do and places to go. Luckily, he still does some consulting and also has a hobby that keeps him busy.

(When my husband retired I did tell him that I don't make lunch.)

We love each other and are happy in retirement probably because we are ok doing our own thing as well as a lot of things together.

Thank you all. So many good ideas here. Patty Vinson, I may steal a page from your book and take up antique mall sales one day when I am not working full time. I love auctions and setting up displays. I have been an active volunteer for the past 20 years and will likely continue as long as I'm able to be helpful.

Littlebug, I think I have considered what my parents wanted vs. what they ended up with. Neither were ever as social or involved in activities as some other people I know, but they each had their own levels of wanting to be busy and do things with other people. I'd say that a person who wants two friends and two social outings per month and doesn't have those may be just as lonely as the person who wants 20 friends and 30 social engagements per month and only has half of them.

I tend toward being a "hermit" myself and at least in my imagination I would love a year of silence and decluttering, and I really look forward to traveling alone. I just don't want to look up one day when I'm 75 and realize that repairmen and cashiers are my only social interactions, because I know that would be too much alone time even for me.

Because he would sit at the computer 16 hours a day and not interact with anyone except me. His only social interactions back in California were the people at the office (and he was the manager) and my friends. If something happens to me, he would be incapable of calling to get service on a broken appliance. Or at least, he tries to act helpless. I refuse to allow him to withdraw from normal human life.

I am reading these with interest.

I stopped paid work when my parents' health issues became critical and DH's work began to require more travel. My job became primary caregiver & "keeping homefires burning" at their home & ours.

But DH! I am getting very concerned about his retirement. He turns 60 soon and a number of people near his age have begun or are planning to retire. I cannot imagine DH without full time work to occupy him. His job is demanding and often requires long commutes and travel but he loves the work and the people. He is youthful and energetic, still plays sports, heads a volunteer board, sits on others (boards, not people..) and still does home and woodworking projects. He doesn't require much sleep. He is the human version of an Australian Sheepdog - he needs challenging meaningful work to be happy.

I love him to pieces but I think I'll go bonkers if he retires. I don't have his boundless energy and I'm not nearly as social as he is. I think without work he'll be at loose ends and drive me crazy.

Here is my case for cultivating friendships: frail old people can be very lonely. So desperately lonely. When you are 85 and your health is failing and your spouse is dead and mortality is staring you in the face and your kids don't live close...you NEED those friendships. More than that, you need the habit and ability to make and keep friends. Whether it's someone to drive you to get groceries or merely seeing another face during the course of the day to talk about how scandalous jeaopardy was last night, human interaction is so essential and such a primal urge and for old people, especially if health starts to go, it is very easy to get stuck in your house 24/7. Add to that losing a spouse at advanced age and social contacts become even that much more important. It is all too easy to let the spouse meet 100% of the social needs but one day that spouse may not be there. Plus it's good to have someone besides the spouse to let off steam with.

i was fortunate to have four grandparents live into their 90s (one was a stepparent) and social ties added a lot of richness to their lives and really endured for many decades.

Somewhat related to this topic of retirement: I'm on vacation, a total of 7 days off work including the holiday. I'm at our weekend/future retirement lake place - call this a 7 day retirement pilot test. Today was day 1. DH is working at his company and will probably just be here over the long weekend. Neighbor friends are in Europe. After one day of grocery shopping (a four hour round trip event), initial planning for a family gathering on Saturday, a couple of hours of tending the yard and garden and a nap I'm already wondering what I'm going to do all next week. I am going to contact a friend to see about lunch or coffee. I looked briefly at work email and thought about a couple work related things I could do while I'm out. Yikes!! Sometimes I'm anxious to retire (60 next year) and other times I wonder why I would choose to do that. I like my job and the people I work with, good pay and benefits and a lot of vacation. I don't think I will electively walk away from it. Something will have to cause me to leave.

I told my husband that I married him for better and for worse but not for lunch. I need my alone time. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to be listening.

I'm planning to pull the plug in 3 years. We've crunched the numbers and it's doable, so I'm going to do it. DH has a home business and I'll help take it to the next level-I just don't have time to do stuff while I work full time. I'm also planning to do volunteer work and continue to stay active in my community. I'm actually flirting with the idea of running for a local office-there are always openings on the weed control board, for example.

I know I'm not going to follow in my mother & her DH's footsteps. When he retired, he started dying, more and more every day. He's now practically an invalid (my mother has aided him in his decline) but he's physically fine. My FIL was the same way-my late MIL let him turn in to a potted plant while she did everything for him. Just before she died she was having to help him out of his easy chair and guide him to the bathroom because his muscle tone was GONE. Medically there was nothing wrong with him, he just quit doing anything once he retired and sat around in a chair all day long. My Mom's DH is pretty much there now too.

My mom, who can still get around just fine, refuses to do anything because she's afraid to leave him alone. My MIL did the same-and she died young with so many of her easily achieved dreams unfulfilled.

So I've decided that even if we're both in wheelchairs because our wild youth caught up with us, we'll go play in a wheelchair basketball league, but we are not going to just turn into hideouts and die a slow death.

My mom retired a few years ago...and her social engagement have increased! Now, she has time to be involved with a lot more clubs and luncheons than she ever did, when she was working.

We live a few miles from a small town, so it's easy for her to drive to the meetings and be involved. She started a garden club this year and she belongs other groups, as well.

She tells me every day that she loves retirement! She taught before she got married, then took some time off with kids...then went back to work for many years at the city library. Moving to a smaller town before she retired meant a longer commute for a few years, but a lot more involvement now. When you live in the city, it seems everything is across town. Our little town is about a mile across, so not a big deal : )

I retired at 55 and I am now 66. I never regretted it. DH is 68 and still works full time.....he is self employed. I am extremely busy with volunteer work. It did get the point where I was way too busy, so I have given up some of my " jobs" ....partially because we went from 0 to 3 grandkids in 15 months.

I try to make sure that some of my jobs require moving around and the others require thinking! My house still needs a good cleaning out, but I am afraid to let my head get fuzzy!

Wow, what a timely conversation!

I'm retiring at the end of July, a few years early. I'm not planning on stagnating. I'm building my retirement home near friends in a part of the country I love, and intend to farm, keep culturally and intellectually active, and re-involve myself in creative endeavors such as stained glass and writing. I also plan to travel - both to visit with friends and family, and to enjoy new places.

I'm certain NOT to get bored!!

Although my husband retired from his "day" job, he keeps extremely busy with our real estate properties. Along with the usual maintenance, there is always an issue that needs to be addressed. Every so often, DH will say he is tired of it all.

DH would love to spend winters in Florida. We just saw property at a retirement community. Finding the right place will not be easy.

I have a part-time job that I really like and can keep doing. It concerns me to think of what my days would be without this bit of structure.

Another thing for us to consider is where we want to live. Our neighborhood has changed in both house size (houses are being torn down for ones triple in size) and with that young families. We are the odd ones out. DH and I can't agree, so we are doing nothing for now.

"I told my husband that I married him for better and for worse but not for lunch. I need my alone time. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to be listening."

This sentiment from several SAH folks always makes me think: what about the spouse who has been out working and enabling (the collective) you to be home to enjoy all that alone time, doesn't he deserve to be able to stop and enjoy life at home too?

My SIL used to say this all the time about her husband and I always thought, sheesh the poor guy gets up pre dawn and fights traffic every day, deals with workplace politics, fights traffic to come home, jams weekends with chores he doesn't have time for in the week while she sleeps in every morning, hits the gym for an hour or two, chats almost daily with their adult daughter, ambles about doing any errands at her leisure. All while insisting, as above, she doesn't want him interrupting her time at home.

I dunno, just seems really selfish to me.

"This sentiment from several SAH folks always makes me think: what about the spouse who has been out working and enabling (the collective) you to be home to enjoy all that alone time, doesn't he deserve to be able to stop and enjoy life at home too?"

Sure, but he can make his own lunch when he retires. Not expecting to be served shouldn't make him enjoy life less.

The Stay at Home ladies that I know did the majority of the work with the day to day job of raising the children, feeding the family and running the household. They are the ones who made it possible for the 'breadwinner' to go to work and not have to worry about what was happening at home. All the SAHs contribute to the community in some form. (Many SAHs also work part time, but are still called 'stay at home moms'.)

I understand with what you're saying, RIP, but I take that sentiment to mean the newly retired husband needs to find his own activities to keep busy and not expect the wife to completely change her schedule to entertain him. He is responsible for finding his own volunteer gigs, hobbies, daytime social engagements, and personal feeding and care. I've never taken it mean Retired Joe has to be out of the house and out of the way Monday through Friday from 8 to 5.

My neighbor delayed retirement by a year since her husband took a buy-out retirement deal at the same time. She knew he would be too dependent on her for, well, everything, so she gave him the year to find his own rhythm. He's happily settled into a new routine that suits him and doesn't depend on her. Nor does he try to manage/monitor her time to replace the employees he no longer manages.

Hhireno, thank you for giving me that perspective--you have literally enlightened me to something that's bothered me for quite awhile :).

Maddielee, I don't mean to suggest that being the at home partner doesn't mean one works, far from it!

However I'm going to put it out there that once the kids are grown and launched, life at home is QUITE a bit less stressful and harried.

I have always worked and the past few years of only having myself and my husband at home have been incredibly easier--once there isn't the need to manage kids' lives, everything else seems much simpler and less stressful.

Guess I have a bit of 'grass is greener' envy if you will because I sorta kinda not so secretly think if I wasn't going to work every day and only had to do SAH stuff, every day would be a holiday!

I really am not a monster.

If I am making lunch and my husband happens to be here, of course I make lunch for both of us. (He does the same for me .)

My point is that I don't want to be somewhere and be worried about his lunch.

LOL Maddielee! Aside from my jaundiced envy of SAH life, I hope I'm not a monster either :).

My DH and I were fortunate enough to retire in our 40s. This gave us both a great wealth of time to spend with our young children, and for that I am grateful. We have been very involved in their schools, and enjoyed family dinners every night.

A few years ago I started working one day a week. I always feel energized and satisfied by that work. I am planning to work even more as the kids grow up an out. Even this fall, one will go away to high school, and the eldest drives, so our duties are far less. I may go up to two days a week come January, but eventually I'd like to work at least 3 days a week. DH Is on charity boards and it really is demanding and he loves it.

My general observations.

1. How to live fulfilling lives. I've written about this before, but some elderly are in their bathrobes in assisted living and some are Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Supreme Court Justice, elegantly dressed, coiffed and entertaining reporters. For me, the key to being more like the latter is to stay active and useful through meaningful and satisfying work. It keeps you sharp, it gives you some excitement and ups and downs and stress (I think we need some stress) and keeps you involved with different types of people and ages.

2. Money. When I was planing our early retirement,I was the queen of spreadsheets. My tax guy and broker thought I was crazy because I assumed that bond yields would be 2% and that my company stock would fall to zero. Guess what, yields are even lower and the stock fell 75% from its peak, although it rebounded some.

Based on family, DH and I could live past 90. We enjoy a very nice lifestyle and as time goes on I can see our costs going up as the family grows via marriage and grands. Helping kids with school, weddings, down payments, grands tuition... And traveling with them. If rates stay this low, that requires a large estate to throw off enough cash. IF rates go up, inflation probably will too so we will need a large estate in that case too. Factor in health care, perhaps aids, life is pricey. And who wants to live one's last years pinching pennies? For me, this is another good reason to work.

3. Volunteerism... My experience is that volunteer organizations can involve a lot of the politics and frustrations as paid work, without the pay of course. For me they are not a panacea. Plus, at the end if the day, , most causes need money more than anything else. We are generous now, but I often think I should just work more paid days and send them a check rather than show up and try to figure out how to get donors or somesuch!

Anyway, to me, if you enjoy work and can curtail your schedule, I think one should do it indefinitely.

I think it's really important for both spouses to cultivate interests and friends-- well, hopefully even before retirement, but definitely after. It's especially important when one of you dies, for the other not to feel isolated.

By way of example, I look at my mother and MIL. Both are 86 and both are widowed. My mother volunteers, goes to language classes, meets friends for opera and theater. My MIL sits and waits at home for family to call or stop by. My mother still gets lonely, but she is thriving while my MIL is kind of depressing. I hope I am more like my mother if I reach 86.

And, along with that Sas, the way one deals with infirmities can go across the board. My sister's MIL had a stroke. It didnt' stop her. She was driving and back to activities in no time. My other sister's MIL had a stroke and it was a nightmare. She would not listen to how important the rehab process was and as a result needed an aid.

I would think being retired in your 40s would be quite different than your 60s or beyond. Your life is full of family activities you just don't have to work for a living. You probably don't feel any physical signs of aging and all your friends are still alive. I think the challenges of inactivity or loneliness become a risk when it gets harder to do the activities you previously enjoyed and the people you spent time with are gone. Some who have more limited retirement income may also shy away from spending money on things they might have enjoyed when they were working. However I imagine having a can do vs can't do attitude is a big factor as well.

In a few weeks my husband and I turn, respectively, 63 and 59 and retirement is a topic of frequent discussion between us. Financially either or both of us could retire tomorrow; the real decision point is when we will leave. Husband is doing IT work that is boring and repetitive, which he despises. I've been passionately dedicated to my job for 20+ years, yet I find myself increasingly tired of the stresses and the work load. And yet.....we both make very good salaries, have great benefits and are in positions that allow us reasonable flexibility and autonomy in our schedules. He has a volunteer commitment in which he has served for decades with great distinction. It provides him with a lot of gratification and the sense of providing value not only due to what he does but because he works extensively with young adults--both of us enjoy mentoring this age cohort and I do it through my job. He takes one day a week to do that, and when he retires he has a standing offer to work as much or as little as he wishes.

I struggle with what retirement will mean for me. To 3katz' point, I do know very clearly that at 60 and beyond I will NOT want to continue to work forever. In hopes of finding a future role for myself post-retirement, I accepted a role in a mentoring program this past year that gives underrepresented high school girls guidance about life and education skills. However, it turned out that the work was almost entirely organizing monthly presentations, with no individual interaction. Frankly, the part of my job I hate most is event planning and all the volunteer role brought me was 10 more events to plan, which I had to do around my normal day job! So, no more of that. I responded to another request for volunteers which seems meant as more of a one-to-one commitment....and although I called and emailed several times and spoke to an enthusiastic coordinator nobody has let me know about actually getting involved.

At this age/stage what I'm trying to do is disengage enough at work to let go of doing a lot of the things that stress me (event planning!) and consciously enjoy the part of my work I do love which is advising students while I try to figure out what the great unknown of Retirement will be. I do anecdotally seem to see that people who I know who have retired are enjoying life, and I do have a sense that I can correct my course if what I first do doesn't turn out to be enough to keep me busy and engaged in life. We both feel we are in holding patterns, as we each have an elderly parent living locally, our son just got married and we foresee in the next few years responsibilities ramping up. As husband says, we'll probably keep working until 'something happens'. Could be a good something like a grandchild. Could be a not so good something like a health crisis with a parent, or a work situation that gets more stressful. We'll see. I don't foresee me staying more than 2-3 years, husband....who knows?

And finally I strongly agree temperament and attitude are incredibly important in aging happily and healthfully. Those elderly parents--my MIL is now in assisted living at 92 YO and basically has always been unhappy, solitary and stubborn to the point of hurting herself. She never had friends or a social circle, counted on 'my boys' to be her entire social world and sank into dementia as once my FIL died 18 years ago she quite literally lived a life of sitting alone in her house every. single. day. Seeing no one, talking to no one except her sons and DILs, and gradually losing complete touch with life. Very sad. My father, OTOH, is 82 and this February lost his wife-who was #3-very suddenly in an accident. His first wife (my mother) died of cancer, wife 2 left him after 20 years and now he is a widower again. And yet, he greets each day with a big smile, he faces the world with enthusiasm and grace and he is the most resilient person I've ever seen. So striking to see the two of them age in their own ways and I sure hope I take my father's path and not my mother in law's!

Although I am not officially retired (DH would beg to differ), I resigned from my job of seven years at the end of February due to my parents' failing health and time spent in assisting them. I was a member of the executive team at a non-profit and loved my job and my coworkers, but I was starting to have some stress-related health issues and something had to give. I thought long and hard about it before I did it, as I am in my fifties and I know it can be difficult to get back into the workforce at this age if I so desire. However, I was a SAHM for 13 years and have a graduate degree and also kept my skills up by volunteering and had no problem re-entering the workforce.

Our income has dropped by about a third and some expenses have increased-like health insurance for me. However, our children are young adults and almost financially independent. Someday, I might consider part-time work, but I don't see that happening while my parents are alive. In-laws are 91 and 93, still in good health and living independently but that could also change very quickly. DH is 55, and is talking more and more about retirement. His goal right now is around 60 and then to do some consulting work. He will have a nice pension with health insurance for us both, so that figures strongly into the plan to check out early.

Things I have learned/done:

1. For about the first month, I slept a lot. I was mentally and physically exhausted, and that is what I needed. I gave myself permission to do that and tried to limit outside obligations.

2. After that, I launched into some clean out and painting projects around the house and I probably should have gone at a slower pace. I think partially it was a distraction to fill my time that used to be spent working, and it also had been neglected and did need to be done. However, I set a goal of a year to complete everything and am now about 75% done after 4 months.

3. Once you stop working, many people assume you just sit around all day twiddling your thumbs. I have had to say 'no' to several activities/people who just assume I can drive them to an appointment or have lunch with them twice a week. I have had to be very selective about how I spend my time. Part of this is protecting myself from a couple of extremely needy friends when my well has been pumped dry by my also very needy mom.

4. I love getting up in the morning and drinking my coffee outside on my deck and starting the day at a slow pace. I love being the master of my own time. I like being able to drive places when it's not rush hour. I have liked reconnecting with friends who I have not seen in a long time. I like spending so much time with our 15.5 year old dog, because I have a feeling her time on earth is drawing to a close.

Like any other life transition, it is an adjustment and takes time.

"I love getting up in the morning and drinking my coffee outside on my deck and starting the day at a slow pace. I love being the master of my own time. I like being able to drive places when it's not rush hour. I have liked reconnecting with friends who I have not seen in a long time."

This is what I find myself longing for! As my dad said when he retired 'it's a wonderful feeling to get up in the morning and know the day is yours to do with as you decide.'

I dislike more and more having to live my life around being at work every day, every week. It just isn't as much fun or as rewarding as it used to be; I'm feeling bored but also uninterested in doing anything else work related. I suppose this is part of the adult developmental stage of being ready to retire. I hope I get to transition easily, and that I have those days like you describe texanjana.

runninginplace, I have discovered the joys of lingering over coffee in the mornings. I can sit on my screened-in porch and drink my coffee while listening to local news on the radio station every day if I want. And take AN HOUR to do it. OMG. What bliss.

And in the summertime when the sunrise comes early, I wake up with the sun. I don't HAVE to get up, but I do. Because that time of day is beautiful. And if I'm tired after lunch, I take a short nap. Like maybe right now. :)

Me too, Running! I really identified with your prior post about how you feel about your job now and then the tone of texasjana, now that she has retired. I also have a lot in common with littlebug. I know that one of the things I will enjoy about retirement is less interaction with people that drain me and tax my reserves. It is required of me at work and most people would never guess that I am a true introvert. I love my job and I believe in our Mission which drives me to improve our performance in the changing landscape of healthcare. But some evenings and weekends, I only 'talk' on here.

Cattyles-I am also an introvert and you are so right about being drained and taxed by some people. Most people would not guess that I'm an introvert, but being "on" all the time is very exhausting for me.

Introverts of the world, unite! Well, not in person, of course. Ha!

For me, it's not necessarily that I'm a classic introvert, it is more that working means I MUST be 'on' and interacting with others every day, regardless of whether or not I'm in the mood.

OTOH, I do think about how contrast makes life worthwhile; if I didn't have the work-forced socializing would I allow myself to sink into living without much human contact and would that make me unhappy? Hmmmm seems to me this is where the discussion began :).

I'm really enjoying this thread. We're 64 and (almost) 51, so the age gap makes things a bit challenging. DH is retired military/civil service, but continued to work in IT until about a year ago as a contractor. The last 18 months he worked from home, which was a nice sort of transition for him to actual retirement. Of course, things don't always go as planned. A year ago we bought a small business back in Alabama for my middle stepson to run. DH was going to run the back-office part from here and Stepson would run the store. But much personal drama ensued in stepson's life that let to him being removed entirely from the business, pending him getting his act together. We have a manager in place, but DH has been back and forth from NM to AL every few months. So much for true retirement!

That being said, he has always had a routine. He is up very early to go to the gym and has his buddies there who also do things outside the gym - lunch, concerts, etc. He's also active in music, playing in to big/swing bands and one concert band we're in together. I do wish I knew how much he HATED yard work. There's always some to be done, but he just detests it. I always did the bulk of the yard work in the past, but figured he would pick up the slack once he retired, Not so much. So I wind up doing a good bit of it on my weekends, or else we just hire someone for the tedious parts (clearing weeds). I think once our existing dogs are gone, we may look at moving to a place that has very little yard at all, and mostly hardscaping.

I struggle with how much longer to work. I enjoy what I do most of the time, but the politics and typical issues of working in state government will take their toll. This particular administration is draining, and we're all counting the months. Near-term goal is to get the house paid off, and then my income isn't as important. That will be when I'm 55-56. Work after that point will be either for satisfaction or money, or a combination of the two. The very rough "plan" at this point is for me to work until age 60, or thereabouts, at a minimum.

I also struggle with wanting to spend "young" retirement years with my 13-years-older husband, but also wanting to continue to work (fearing once I'm "out" of the work sector, there's no getting back in). For so many years, retirement was something that was out there "someday", but now suddenly, it's here! (for DH at least). We haven't even really talked seriously about what we would want to do with our time once I retire. You've all given me food for thought -- start planning!