I honestly believe that it is a woman's thing! Men would never ever do something like that!

I used to bite my tongue, but the internet changed me. I find since I've been online and people always have to be right, I've joined that silly group. Not every single time, but a lot more than I used to. It also depends on who I am talking to and what the subject is.

Surprised I have any TONGUE left! Mods who are NEVER wrong and you're ALWAYS wrong... seems NO space for voicing an OPINION? Have come close to going out in a blaze of glory and a mic drop... BUT, usually enjoy the topics and conversations. It's REALLY hard to walk away from conversations that have DEvolved into "I know you are, but what am I?!?"

Some people enjoy arguing 'just for the joy of it' as Dolly Parton said (she wasn't talking about arguments at the time). There's occasional bait here, it's best not to bite. On the other hand, I love discussions involving either factual issues or people's opinions and preferences, without the drama.

Klseiverd, a lot of what happens is directly related to the venue. Most conversations here in my opinion are civil, although they can get heated. But some places on FB and some chat rooms are almost war zones.

Lucille... can't help but hear Little Richard in my head... you are so right about THIS place! I don't do FB cuz just don't get the ME ME ME attention element?

What are you talking about, "A phrase came up..."?

Kls, have you tried visiting GW Hot Topics? Yes, there's arguing but most people there do their research and aren't talking off the tops of their heads.

Sometimes, keeping one's mouth shut to an outrageous statement is tacit approval...

Kise......there is a "message" option here where you can contact members individually through houzz. However, that message option must be enabled by each member. Just took a quick check of members on this thread and for the most part that feature is not enabled. Members may not be aware of or or not they are enabled for messaging. You can click on names to see if messaging is enabled.

It's easy to misinterpret what people write here.

The hot topics forum probably has 10-15 regular contributors and it isn't long before you get to know the players and the script.

Yes, they do know their stuff but within 10 posts on any one subject the thread deteriorates into insults and boorishness.

I bow out of any thread that begins to verge on poor behaviour. It's not because I'm thin-skinned but rather because I don't see the necessity of it.

And having to have the last word is for 10 year-olds.

What's the phrase?

"Sometimes, keeping one's mouth shut to an outrageous statement is tacit approval."

Sure, but you can reply without insults and not create a war zone where whatever happens, you have to have the last word. One can stand up for ones self and ones ideas decently, without being a troll.

Like blfenton said: same people and they always voice their opinion.

I think on the internet we start to dislike the regulars. Some feel like friends, others just irk you.

blfelton... here goes?!? Know what... changed my mind... not a "troll"!

Huh? It seems I said/wrote something offensive. Certainly not intended so I'm out of here.

blfenton

I saw nothing offensive in what you wrote

Lucille, offering a reply to a stated opinion doesn't mean it has to be nasty at all! I think there's a bit of misunderstanding here.

I already said that.

Do ya ever bite down and hold on to an argument just cuz you KNOW you're right?!?

On the internet? nope. why bother. There are some people who just like to argue, or flog an argument to win, who has the time or energy to deal with that? I don't care if they think they win the argument, hooray for them, I'm not going to get drawn in to some lengthy argument or debate.

It's like that saying about wrestling with a pig, the pig enjoys it and you just get dirty :)

Blfenton... absolutely NOTHING offensive. Lucille... not need to comment for me. Sjerin... know that nail head? You just hit it. And Trancegemini... I'm giving up wrestling;) It becomes WAY too easy for someone to be able to poke a stick in your cage.

Thank you all for listening/reading my minor rant... I needed that! Now can get back to the program in progress!

I like a good debate but I find Hot Topics simply full of those who don't want debate but validation. I occasionally will read something tee and comment but I don't allow energy vampires to draw me into their drama. Basically decided it's like trying to play chess with pigeons. All that entitlement with demanding sources etc. Bunch of control freaks.

Now I will hold my ground when I know someone to be true but even that is pretty pointless on the internet. No matter how many facts one posts about firearms for example will make any difference to emotional thinkers. I think I posted a few times about the "assault" weapon nonsense regarding Orlando here but people want to see only what they think. So why bother to share facts with those who don't want to know them? It's a waste of my time.

I sometimes wish the only purpose of HT wasn't debate; discussions would be productive for many topics. I don't have the answer to every problem and one would think it would be satisfying to the people who post there to actually have someone willing to be swayed towards their POV by convincing points and facts. But no. They have posted they want to argue and debate only with other thick-skinned/headed know-it-alls.

I'm so confused.

I agree with both socks and gyr. I am very confused as to the main point of this thread but, regarding HT, that place is an echo chamber.

No one that posts there regularly (from what I've witnessed) has even a marginally open mind. They don't WANT to hear the other side, it is a (mostly liberal) circle jerk.

I have no interest in conversating or debating someone who has their ears and minds closed to opinions that differ from theirs.

My position HAS been swayed on a variety of topics by discussing with others, but only by those who were willing to listen and try to understand my side as well.

Discussion and debate SHOULD result in a greater understanding and perhaps a few middle ground points on both sides, when it doesn't, it is arguing, which is just childish and petty.

Gyr_falcon - I agree with you except on one point. The posters are anything but thick skinned know it alls. Most are so embryo skinned they would find something to be offended by reading their own exact words elsewhere. LOL. Hot Topics is their "safe place" and debate is not welcome.

Uhhhhh....here's the thing. Yes, HT has more posters with a liberal bent, and KT has more posters with a conservative bent. Saying "the other side won't listen" doesn't mean anything. There are heated arguments when povs are not supported.

watchmelol, to me, the vast majority there appear to be possess a more than adequate thickness of skin. There is evidence of much faux outrage towards one another, but also a twinge of genuine anger and frustration. I agree some would be offended by their own words elsewhere, especially if the words were directed at them! Is the unequal balance of the size of the "sides", and the intolerance of anyone holding a position in any territory that could be referred to as between the extremes, why you think they don't welcome debate? Some debate styles do not even require facts or sources to back up what one says/writes. Two reasons I favor discussions over debates are that I want fact backup noted (which actually does happen quite a bit in HT), and the extremes are what power most debates, and my stands are often not at the extremes.

sjerin posted while I was typing. I haven't been active in KT as long as most. I haven't really considered the liberal/conservative balance here with the typical posts that show up in KT. Was this forum ever a place for frequent threads on controversial issues? I thought Home Decorating & Design Conversations, and some of the other conversation forums that seem to not exist any longer, were the former home of those topics.

Sjerin- are we actually reading the same forums?

The KT has a "conservative slant", where is it? Or are you referring to the more conservative liberal slant that occasionally pops up here, because I haven't personally seen a truly conservative stance since I joined the board.

I'll freely admit to not obsessively reading either forum, HOWEVER, both come across as liberal hippy tree hugging people (no offense meant towards members) by and large.

The point still stands that members of HT, by and large, are not willing to accept, much less listen, to anything but the most hard line liberal stance they can find.

klseiverd, did you mean, "This is the phrase: "Know what... changed my mind... not a "troll"! " "?

My take on HT is that there can be a valid conversation about some topics except the current presidential candidates. In that case it's everyone against 2-3 people, and threads just turn into members taking potshots at each other.

Colleenoz... exactly! I read an extremely RACIST statement at ANOTHER forum (NOT at Houzz), brought it to attention of mod and immediately got ganged up on. Was about ready to qoute the phrase and decided... not worth it. Seems NOT finishing my sentence has stirred up more S than if I had finished it.

HT does have a couple of the middle. Me and Chase. That's it. Everyone else is very left leaning or very right leaning. Both sides pick on each other. There is still way more intelligent conversation on that board and very well informed that is far above the rhetoric, to ignore what they have to say. I have learned loads from what goes on there, from both sides of the aisles. If you can sift through it, and realize both sides use biased links, you'll find the truth that is never stated in real life. My point? Since it's the only place to talk about what shouldn't be said in polite company, it comes out. Very informed, and comes out.

I enjoy Kitchen Table *and* Hot Topics.

As for 'closed minds', I think that we are inclined to find own faults most clearly *in other people*. As long as posters provide valid supporting arguments and background, I'll listen, trying to sort *facts* and *perspectives*. (There's no sorting *beliefs*!)

"I read an extremely RACIST statement at ANOTHER forum (NOT at Houzz), brought it to attention of mod"

Thank you. I think that is one of those instances where silence is tacit approval. I'm glad you said something.

I do read Hot Topics during election cycles. I do think that there are a couple of people who are deliberate rabble-rousing s-disturbers and that can be ok.

(and robb, I know you know this - chase is Canadian and most of us are middle of the road when it comes to politics.)

edited for typing errors

blfenton, I think you are more moderate than many on HT, but truly, for the most part, it is my opinion, most of the group are farther left and farther right than "typical" folks (or maybe as much as people will let show in public).

Lucille... it was, no IS a clearly racist statement that I just could NOT ignore and I got told... putting my own spin on things & then 5-6 "minions" chimed in who didn't even have a "dog in the fight".

I'm sorry you got verbally tore up. But you did the right thing.

Going back to your first post: I think you did the moral thing by standing up for what you believe in. But I do not think you have an obligation to stay in the argument after that and get shredded by a bunch of jerks.

When someone said, "And that picture make him look like he ain't long out of the trees either."... just reacted!