Then there's always the classic, "I told you I was sick!"

Oh socks! You made me laugh out loud!

"Well that sucks!"

Who would have guessed?

"I was hoping for a pyramid"

My family, other than myself is KNOWN to be bad timekeepers. You're always waiting for one or another of them. It's well known that my mother's headstone will be engraved: "The Late Louise ____"..we doubt she'll be on time for the funeral, and there'll be straggler mourners showing up hours after the event.

You all are so, soooo funny!!! I almost fell off the sofa for laughter!

As Halloween decorations I have made several comical headstones. A couple of the epitaphs that I remember are: "Here lies Gus, He was hit by a Bus" or "Here lies Frank, He went for a Swim, He Sank" or my favorite "Dearly Departed brother Dave, He chased a Bear into its Cave"

The Shell Is Here But the Nut Is Gone

Should've Forwarded Those Emails

Here Lies Nate
He brought my daughter home,
Way too late

My father and his wife have a headstone that says "It Was Great While It Lasted".

"This one's on me"

"You should see the other guy"

"My new healthcare deductible was too high"

"Well that was way too short"

Doughnut holes do not have calories.

Cookie crumbs do not have calories because those fell out when the cookie broke.

I never saw that coming, he said, as the snow ball struck him in the face.

It kept getting bigger and bigger and then it hit me.

He was so engrossed in counting the spaces between the boards that he stepped off the end and into the water. That goes to show you that when you are out of slits, you're out of pier.

I wish I were as clever as all of these. They're making me smile.

jem, your last one reminded me of Burma shave signs.

"Past / Schoolhouses / Take it slow / Let the little / Shavers grow / Burma-Shave"

TOO FUNNY!!!!

I was a cemetery sexton of a 4-acre country cemetery for many years and on my business card I had a little poem my dad taught me when I was 3-years old that had a lot of relevance for my volunteer position those many years later.

When I die

Bury me deep

So little red ants

Won't tickle my feet.

I suppose mine should say "I should have brought an air conditioner".