Okay, these are just some ideas as I pretend to be driving to your house. I would be very interested in what the "real" LD's think. There were some very good prior threads on heading folks toward doors, but those were different perspectives and making a decision "up close" to the house, as opposed to back yonder in the drive. First thing is to think whether you have only 2 categories of arrivees--family and folks who KNOW they are supposed to go to carport, and "all other" go to front door. It would be more difficult if you expect significant types of random people to arrive that need to go to carport and don't know it. Until there is more pavement, one concept is to do some low-budget things to make the "correct" fork look a bit more impressive, wider, nicer (connecting to the pavement) and maybe even "straighter"--like it is easier to continue in that direction--and the carport drive angle off more, be clearly more informal, etc. Might include freshening gravel just on that short stretch. Kill the grass in the middle of the drive, because the grass kind of kills "this is my good driveway" effect. Might include some kind of temporary items flanking the cement drive entry to make it look like an "entry" to the main house. Could be some upright posts, or 2 containers of indestructable shrubs or annuals, or low-cost bullet-proof sentinel shrubs planted in ground. Right now, these might be at the edge of the existing concrete, but later on some similar demarcation could be placed at whatever point in the drive decision/diversion is most useful. I would not underestimate the benefit of signage. Sure, you don't want to look like a motel --"this way to registration!" but maybe, Welcome to the Jones's, or something homey, that is just beyond the fork but highly visible so it leads you there. These ideas are more sort of temporary fixes if that is what you had in mind, as opposed to finer solutions involving more pavement, brick edging. BTW, the concrete circle drive is pretty harsh--but in future, you might consider brick trims and/or brick strips across, to connect the home materials with the drive.

Sounds like time to separate Summer_Rose -- Not from Greg, but from your parents. You're now a grown adult with a full share of adult responsibilities. And when your parents ask you for money and it puts you behind on your own bills, that makes it really hard for you in turn not to ask them for money when you're low. A vicious circle that someone has to break. Next time they make some comment about growing up or being more responsible or being more independent or taking money from them or not taking money from Greg -- and that shouldn't be too long -- Take that as your springboard, and tell them "You're right -- From now on, I'm going to be financially independent. Totally! No more of this borrowing back and forth. When you said I shouldn't mix up my finances with anyone else, you were right. No more borrowing and no more lending for me." Refuse to listen to any arguments, repeating only variations on the "You're right -- no more mixing" theme. Then stick to it. Next time they hit you up for a loan, tell them you can't do that and still meet your own commitments, and how much you'd hate to let them down by failing to live up to your responsibilities. I totally agree with Vicky about Greg's apology to your parents. They were both wrong, but between the two sides, he seems to be "the bigger person" -- so lob the ball back into their court. If you want, you could tip your parents off that since Greg is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, they may want to make an effort to mend fences.

Thirties are a hard time.. usually new husbands and babies or young kids take much time away from friends. I don't know what her family situation is, but when I was in my early thirties, I didn't have much time for friends that lived 10 minutes away, much less could I even imagine taking a day off to drive an hour to go shopping. Even if she doesn't have kids, sometimes work obligations or gatherings with the in-laws take over many weekends. You say when you drive in, you're generally coming in town to visit your family... but, honestly, how many times would you drive that far and come in just to visit her? Have you driven in just to see her? Have you guys considered meeting for lunch or dinner half way? That sounds like a plan to me... I don't necessarily think that the friendship isn't special to her; I just think there are times in our lives when we aren't able to invest as much time as we like with all our friends. Some years are better than others. Friends don't need to physically see each other all that much. Keep in touch by phone. And one more thing, it may not seem fair but I have noticed usually the friend or family member that moves away does come back to visit more... I mean, that's home, you're coming back to see many people. So don't keep tabs; it's not really fair. I mean, you may come in town 5 times a year..for a reunion, a funeral, a wedding shower, your mom's b-day, a niece's baptism, etc.... but that doesn't mean your friend should have to visit you five times a year. Get the point; you moved away, not her. And, she doesn't like to drive so you will probably be seeing her on her home turf way more often.

Thank you for your responses. Emma, I can't help but remember that the home my grandparents built in probably the 1930's was sold for the sake of his new wife. But, I in no way harp on the fact of the home it's way in the past. I just brought it up in the post as part of the things that have gone on since he met his wife. It probably bothers me more that she has many of my grandmothers belongings displayed throughout her house & never has bothered to ask me if I would like anything that belonged to my family! The room that she once made her mothers room (she has since passed away) consisted of an antique wood bedroom set that belonged to my father & his brother as children. Justmetoo, I have always given her respect for her continued care of my dad. It's probably one of the main reasons for never disrespecting her besides keeping peace & being able to see my dad. If I had fought with her all these years I would have never been able to build any memories for my daughter. My daughter told me recently that the times I sent her for a few days to stay with my dad when she was younger,he would take her home with him to give me a break i worked full time & was a single mom. his wife would treat her like she was a grow up instead of a little girl. They took her to a water park & told her (at 8 years old) that she didnt need sunblock she was too pale n needed some color! My daughter is an auburn-redhead! very fair skinned. The kids here get summer reading & his wife told my daughter that she always winds up with all the cr*p no one wants to do because she had to write a summary of the books & I would send her with her book to read & if she finished it she would have to write the report. My son is only 3 & will more then likely never know him or remember anything about him. He has only seen him maybe 5 or 6 times since he has been born. I think my dad forgets he exists at times. We call his forgetfulness Chemo-brain as a jest but since the cancer he has never been the same. Aside from his body slowly giving way he is constantly depressed. I spoke to him yesterday a quick call to see how he was doing. I told him I'm just calling to see how you're feeling cause I don't want you talking too much. I would love to go see him next week for Father's Day but I know my daughter will look to see her dad & it's her grandmothers bday as well. I hate to go see him without her so I guess I will make another day to celebrate with him. I'm sure his stepson will be there & it's hard for me to be in the house with his wife. Last time I saw him I drove up & took him to lunch with my kids & drove home again. It was a nice afternoon, just wish I had more time with him. Your right, I would walk over hot coals to be there for him & will continue to do so as much as I can. I'm lucky I still have a tongue I've bitten it or years! Lol. My baby's blood disorder makes it very difficult to go anywhere without fear of him getting sick, he's like the boy in the plastic bubble just not as severe. I know my dad doesn't have many years left & I hope I can hang on to our relationship that i thought was once an unbreakable bond. Thanks again for listening & letting me vent. I don't confide in people or go on like this to anyone I feel it may annoy them & I speak to my daughter as much as I can but don't really get into things that will upset her. She is on to college in sept & need her to focus on getting her career together. The last thing I need is her being more upset then she already is at everything that goes on.