I don't normally chime in on threads like these. I'm involved with multiple animal rescue groups and highly advocate for adoption where possible. However, if your daughter has emotional and sensory issues, you may want to look into getting a trained therapy dog. This way, the dog you bring into your home is fully grown and trained to deal with your daughter's issues. You may have to work with a group for some time in order to get one but it sounds like you're looking for more of a therapy dog than just a companion. Bringing a young, untrained dog (or even an untrained adult dog) into a situation where there could be high emotional swings is just not fair to anyone.

And please think of your cat. If the cat doesn't like kids, she may not appreciate a dog.

How about a pug?

Pugs shed no nobody's business.

I'd consider a Miniature Poodle. We had them in our family when growing up and then DH and I got one for our family as well. The 3 that I've had in my life over the years were all intelligent, (easy to train in all areas) very good with kids, and non shedding. Toy poodles are not as reliable with young children and Standard poodles grow quite large. The Miniature was just perfect for us!

dees-Along similar lines, I think it's more important to pick the right person to connect you to a dog, than it is to pick a specific dog breed, then buy a puppy.

(be it a rescue professional or a breeder)

The best dogs we ever had were mutts. Trixie was a cocker beagle mix and she was terrific.

My DDIL runs an animal adoption shelter in Philadelphia and she has found homes for many, many wonderful dogs and cats. And while I think adopting an unwanted dog is highly commendable I'm not sure I would recommend this for you. I can tell you that many of the puppies they get have come from unknown backgrounds - and unknown genetic backgrounds too. They assess each dog for health, personality and adoptability. But many times they can only guess what breeds these puppies are which means that they can't be 100% what size the dog will become.

I like Dees advice about getting a dog that's already trained - you might not need a therapy dog. Or you might want to make an appointment with your local vet - the one that you think you might want to care for your pet. Talk to the vet about your daughter and ask what breed would work for you. Your vet might even have a reputable client or two who breeds dogs that would fit your requirements.

My first suggestion is a poodle - they come in different sizes and a miniature might be the size for you. They are highly intelligent, trainable and like to please their owners. You will have to brush them or have them groomed regularly but many people who are allergic to dogs seem to be OK around poodles.

You can have a trainer come to your house, take dog training classes or even send your dog to boarding school for training. We've had 7 dogs in 44 years and we trained 6 of them ourselves. However I had to have my knees replaced when our current dog was 10 months old and since I was going to be in the hospital for 6 days and then a physical rehab facility for another week we took that opportunity to board her at our kennel. The owners are retired K9 officers from the military and they offer various training programs from simple obedience to specialized training for local police departments. We had already begun obedience training but she learned so much more at the kennel. It was a great experience and one that I wouldn't hesitate to repeat.

Having had dogs for all of my 64 years, I would agree that you should engage a good trainer or take your pup to classes. I would not use a training collar, especially since you have little to no experience with dogs.

Wheaten terriers also do not shed, but may be larger than 35 pounds. They are adorable, but I have never had one. I going to a shelter might be a good option. They work very hard to match you with a dog that will be a good fit for your family.

One very important factor for you that no one seems to be mentioning is your daughter's special needs. If she has difficulty regulating her emotions, it could be very scary for a dog. I work with students with autism and emotional disabilities and have first hand knowledge of how some pets are mistreated. I hope you will be completely sure that she would understand how to treat, touch, and play with any dog before bringing one home. Dogs need to be thought of as family members and they are not discardable or disposable because they don't meet your expectations after a few months or years. Perhaps asking friends with calm dogs to let her interact with their pets for several (many) visits would be a good idea.

Also, understand that without a fenced yard, you will be walking in cold, heat rain, snow, early morning, late evening, etc. A dog is much more work than a cat and they need much more attention. They are "pack" animals and need you to be their pack! They will love you unconditionally and they deserve the same in return.

dess_1 has given you excellent advise re: looking into a trained therapy dog as an option that may best suit your daughter's needs.

("Due to my daughters sensory processing difficulties I want to ensure that we find the right dog for us. We can’t have a yapper or barker because the noise through her off balance. We’d like a dog who will be able to pick up on moods and sense that a little affection or a cuddle is needed.")

The breed, the shedding, the size, etc. can all be a factor when choosing a therapy dog. I have worked with two breed-specific rescue groups. My current group affiliation is with Cavalier King Charles Spaniels. This is just one of several breeds that make excellent therapy/companion dogs.

http://www.ckcsc.org/ckcsc/ckcsc_inc.nsf/Founded-1954/therapy.html

Wow, thank-you everyone for chiming in. I love hearing from so many people.

Cyn427: My daughter has never mistreated our cat or any other animals our friends have brought over. We've had her visit friends with dogs also and she adores them. Obviously we will keep a watchful eye and ensure she treats our dog kindly. If I had any notions that she would mistreat an animal we wouldn't be looking at adding a dog to our family. I am putting a lot of effort into doing the research now to make an educated decision because I am aware that an animal is not disposable. We are looking to add to our family and want to make sure we make the best match for all parties involved.

jennifer- it's great you're doing your due diligence. It's a big decision and one which can be incredibly enriching for all involved.

I think dog people tend to be ferociously loyal to our canine kids, and just want you to be aware of how much work it can be.

Worth it, though!

We were waiting for a Wheaten Terrier from a breeder, when we came across an add for a Golden retriever. We got the golden.

Yes, she sheds, but IMHO not awful and not all year. Yes, she is big.So why am I mentioning it?

Because she is the nicest, sweetest, easiest, non barking est, non biting dog in the world. She doesn't yap or jump or run away or chew things either. And though she is very special to us, I know that most of her wonderfulness is simply because she is a golden. Ask any vet; they are the best family dogs.

Even so I would not mention it but for your daughter. We have a relative with a little boy with similar struggles. They got him a specially trained golden that is actually able to go to school with him. The dog has done wonders for the boy. Perhaps you may want to inquire with your child's treatment provider to see if a specially trained dog may help her? If so I think that would trump everything else.

best of luck!

We have a labrador (second one) who is the sweetest dog on the planet, LOVES kids and is very sensitive to our emotional state. She almost never barks...which I love. She would make an exceptional therapy dog. We recently welcomed a mixed breed puppy to our home and...wow...I forgot how much energy and chaos come with a puppy. It may be best for you to consider an older dog (maybe one trained as an assistance dog). I am not coping well with the disruption to my life that this puppy brings to our home. But as an adult I know it will be short lived and I am doing the hard work of training this very smart but rambunctious puppy so she will be a good companion someday. Our 9yo lab is not amused...but is growing more tolerant of the interloper.

Good luck!

My experience is with mutts. Most dogs shed. It seems short haired dogs shed and it scatters, long haired dogs shed hair that forms clumps. And then there are poodles and such that may not shed, but need grooming.

I have never had a bassett hound, but have been around some, and they seem pretty mellow, kid friendly, gentle and like attention. You can often find them as rescues also. Something to think about.

Maltese dogs are very sweet calm and non-shedding. They are like a cat and dog all in one. However, like most small dogs can be yippy barky, not all are but most. Their hair is high maintenance. Your daughter may enjoy relaxing and combing the dog out. Supply ribbons. Or, keep a shorter puppy cut for easier care. Maltese love to cuddle and are very kissy and will live on your lap. Maltese picture below.

The Bichon has already been mentioned and is another good choice. Lots of people around me have these dogs and I have never met one who wasn't laid back and sweet.

Pound puppies is another idea. I have had many pound puppies as well as pure breeds. I think with your daughter though there maybe more risk in going this route. My latest pup is a Yorkie Brussels mix. Due to his traumatic start he has/had a lot of issues. Sometimes you need a bit more experience with dogs and dog training for pound pups...sometimes not, but they do have history.

Looks like I am going to be googling some dog breeds tomorrow. On my list to check out are Havanese, Poodles, Maltese, Bichon as I don't know much about these breeds.

Jenn, I didn't ask before my recommendations but what is your zone. If very very cold a Maltese might not work . They can do somewhat cold with a jacket but this breed does not have an undercoat . Just one layer. Not like the coat of a retriever or lab or many other hardy cold weather dogs.

Or, a Multipoo might work, they do have a bit more energy but are also a tic smarter. Maltese Poodle mix. Kissy huggy but can do tricks. Non-shedding. In my opinion a pure poodle might have too much energy for your daughter. I love them though.

Jennifer I can't say enough about what great dogs poodles are.... and I don't believe the breed is improved by mixing it with a lab, golden or anything else. Possibly the other breed is improved by adding poodle, but not the other way around. Most poodles are sensitive, smart, clean, absolutely no shedding, and love people. You do have to commit to regular grooming, but I admit to going weeks without brushing sometimes. All dogs are individuals, some more high strung than others, so you may want to research breeders who do temperament testing or adopt an adult dog who is proven to be reliable in the areas important to you.

Of course I'm biased!

One thing that wasn't mentioned is making absolutely sure you get the dog spayed or neutered as soon as they're old enough. With a yard that is not enclosed, an intact dog WILL run away.

We have had many different types of dogs over the years, we currently have 2 labs (who's personalities are like night and day and it's a breed I will never have again) and an Alaskan Eskimo/Border Collie mix (definitely a HIGH maintenance dog). We've had or fostered a German Shepard, a Rhottweiler, Shar Peis, labs, mutts, and a schnauzer. Of all the dogs, ever, we'd get another schnauzer in a heart beat. We've already decided that will be our last dog, once we're down to one.

But I'd second the poodle recommendation. I was also going to suggest a pug-my DD has one, and every pug I've ever known has been an absolute joy. They also tend to be more mellow and don't need as much exercise. Although my grandpug does love to play disc golf with his papa.

Forget the mini-doodle-as mentioned before, they're a designer dog and usually those are prone to such horrible problems. A mini would be even more of an anomoly.

This article provides a good overview of service dogs and how to choose the right dog for you. It's actually a great article for anyone considering getting a dog.

http://www.psychdogpartners.org/resources/getting-a-dog/choosing-the-right-dog

As jck and mtn mentioned above Labrador Retrievers and Golden Retrievers make excellent companion and family dogs. They are also frequently trained as service dogs. I would have mentioned them when I suggested a poodle but they do weigh significantly more than 35 pounds

Every standard poodle I've met has been a love. I'd consider one in a heartbeat.

We've got a lovely yellow lab girl now, but the shedding is beyond. Absolutely no more high-shed dogs after her, though.

Honestly, I would just go down to the shelter and pick out a nice pit bull puppy. The pits that I have known have been snuggle muffins. Getting a puppy means that you won't have to deal with the potential aftereffects of mistreatment (something to think about with a dog from a rescue group). Purebreds can have significant health issues = $$$$ and heartbreak. Also recommend spay/neuter, pet insurance, and training. A training class might be a good thing for your daughter and the dog to do together.

And some pit bull eye candy for you all! Feel free to fire back with eye candy from other breeds! : )

Good morning, I've been online reading about the different breeds suggested. They are all coming up too small for our liking. The Havanese, Maltese and Bichon are smaller than what we are looking for. I would prefer a dog that is more on the medium size range.

Thanks maire_cate for the article. I just finished reading it - interesting.

And yes, we will spray/neuter the dog as soon as they are old enough.

Having a wonderful yellow lab for the last 8 years, I know our next dog will have some poodle in her. The shedding is the only negative I can think of. (And the fact that one granddaughter is allergic to her.) A mix of most anything with miniature poodle might be a good fit for your home.

I am not recommending this breed for you, but I LOVE the size of my beagle. He is 21 pounds, so he is very sturdy, not a delicate type dog, but so easy to pick up and...cuddle. My next dog someday will be in the same size range.

Easy to transport, groom, bathe, move around, snuggle.

Beautiful dogs Stratfordroad!

Bumblebeez SC Zone 7

I am not recommending this breed for you, but I LOVE the size of my beagle. He is 21 pounds, so he is very sturdy, not a delicate type dog, but so easy to pick up and...cuddle. My next dog someday will be in the same size range.

Easy to transport, groom, bathe, move around, snuggle.

*****

After our bichon died, it wasn't long before my arms were just aching for another (which we got about 6 months later). I think I'll always need a small dog to pick up and cuddle.

I've had dogs virtually all my life (and I'm near senior citizen age), and they all have different personalities. The breed may be a guide, but is NOT absolute..whatever you do, spend some time with the dog before adoption, and also realize that the personality when in a household may differ. Some breeds (and some individuals) may not be suitable for your household (potty training, aggression, timidity, etc).

I absolutely positively, 100%, without doubt, agree that dogs should not be considered disposable. Having no real experience with dogs yourselves (from your post), start reading books about dog training, and pack behaviors. It's up to you to lead the dog and guide it to be the dog you want it to be. Most behaviors (not all) are the fault of the owner. Often because the owners are not leaders of the pack, and the poor dog has to try to guide and protect his pack. If you've ever watching any of the more recent dog shows (like Cesar 911, It's Me or the Dog, etc) you will realize that this is a very very common issue. A dog is NOT a cat, and your relationship with the dog must be different. If you impress the dog with your leadership and dominance, he/she will do their best to do what you want (if you manage to communicate it correctly)...dogs are very eager to please the pack leader. Given this, you probably DO need an experienced trainer to help you.

Dogs will run up substantial vet bills (and supplies like heartwormer, flea meds, etc). Also (just my opinion here) the more pure bred line dog you get..the more inbred medical problems you'll have to deal with. I've had several pure breds, and had issues like cancer, insanity (if that's what you want to call mental imbalance issues), various things requiring surgical correction (like eyelids). Your mileage with a "mutt" may be best for a first time owner (just my opinion again).

I personally love the herding breed of dogs as pets. They're intelligent and anxious to please...and often have some independent action ability. I literally despise almost any toy breed, they're frail (and see medical issues on last paragraph) and often short lived.

IF all this sounds too much, get another cat, or a goldfish. There's no doubt that a dog is much more work than either of those.

i have only met one miniature golden doodle and it was relatively recently... he was an adorable, sweet dog and his owners said he was a great dog! he was probably between 35-40 lbs- i didn't ask how much he weighed... one of the 'problems' with golden doodles is some tend to be rambunctious/energetic AND big and sometimes dog owners or the kids have trouble controlling them, especially if they are busy and/or inexperienced and don't train him consistently. a smaller dog is easier to work with!

a fenced yard makes dog ownership easier, but we have lived in a house that didn't have a fenced yard and had a dog and were ok, tho you have to be committed to walk it! the most important command you will have to teach him is 'come' ... and practice that command really for the rest of his life so that he comes all the time.

dogs can be taught not to bark (as much at least!)

the unconditional love a dog can add to a child's (or anyone's!) life is priceless!! they can help a child learn responsibility and compassion and just enrich their lives so much! good luck!!

Bichon Frise or Toy Poodle. I researched this thoroughly when we were looking for a dog. Ended up with a Toy Poodle because one was available and we fell in love with her. Bichons and Poodles do not shed. I have had Gracie for quite a number of years and every now and then see a tuft of hair, but no real shedding like other dogs. Toy Poodles are so adorable and so very smart, easy to pick up, and extremely lovable.

Jennifer, you asked me what breed I would recommend if the dog's size and shedding were not issues. I don't feel I can recommend a breed. I have learned over the years that dogs within a breed are such individuals that you can't rely on the breed to give you what you want. My experience is with Golden Retrievers, which have a wonderful reputation for loyalty and patience. But I have seen many Goldens that would not be the right dog for your daughter.

Personally, I love having a smaller dog (even if the one I have is a nut). He is light, less than the cat, 92 year old mom can pick him up and let him snuggle in her lap no problem. He can fly with out issue in a carrier. Eats less. Less out put. A shorter walk is fine.

We have a giant dog and a small mutt. Both are beyond therapeutic for my son who has a few issues, especially anxiety. Calming and better than drugs.

post pics of your new family member.

I have a miniature poodle (15 lbs) and my family had one when I was growing up. Wonderful dogs --when they come from a reputable breeder..

They are:

non-shedders (professional grooming every 5-6 weeks)

people dogs and will bond easily with family members who respond positively toward the dog. They "read" people. Brie knows what I'm about to do before I know! :-)

clowns! truly funny!

snuggly, cuddly

they can be protective of their family when a stranger comes to the door (my dog requires an introduction to friends and she barks at strangers---I pick her up so she can see their face; I tell her their name. From that point on, I can mention that person and she'll run to the window to see if they're outside)

Brie helped me rescue a senior man today (in his 90s) who had gone out on his own -- no ID, no phone, didn't know his daughter's phone number, didn't know his address.

He fell and I had to lift him up and hold onto him to walk him 1/2 mile to his home (he knew the way, thankfully).

Brie was fabulous! She didn't bark at him and she wasn't fearful. She didn't pull on the leash. She went along and was very sweet.

Three years ago, the 2nd day we had Brie, we took her to meet my late DH's 94 yo mother in memory care. Brie was 4 months old. She sat on my MIL's lap and was patted extensively for an hour without moving.

I have a friend who trains therapy dogs and, even though Brie barks at strangers who come to my door, she's fine meeting people outside her territory, so my friend is trying to get me to have Brie trained as a therapy dog.

I couldn't have gotten through my husband's caregiving and passing without her. She is my constant companion.

Brie is beautiful.

when they come from a reputable breeder..

This. I would never have known that poodles could be "real" dogs if we hadn't had a friend who always had a very highly bred miniature. What a total contrast to the sad pet shop variety that is so common around here.

Poodles are "real" dogs. Brie loves to play, fetch, run, walk--anything I'm willing to do with her, she's game. Her favorite thing is to get me to chase her around the house!

I loved reading about Brie! Then the photo sealed the deal; those eyes.

Poodles are "real" dogs. Brie loves to play, fetch, run, walk

Right, healthy, genetically sound dogs like Brie are, for sure. But in my neck of the woods most small/popular breeds are tragic, shivering little creatures that are not only overbred (lots of breeding back or brother to sister in the hope of getting a smaller dog, and/or were taken away from their mother and semi-starved as infants in the hope of getting a good size for a purse dog).

Not just poodles--bichons, maltese, yorkies, griffons etc.

OP, I'd also recommend looking for an AKC breeder of merit, and know ALL the questions to ask about soundness for the breed you choose.

Very exciting.

Jennifer, welcome!

my advice would be to find a dog training facility. If you have trouble finding one, call Dogwood Dog Training in Houston, Tx. They will know someone in your area.

Go observe some classes. This will give you a great idea of the dog breeds temperment. Meet the teachers there, and they can help you one on one with recommendations.

Good luck!

Here is a blog that is not being kept up but has wonderful posts of the process of training 2 puppies by an experienced trainer whose dogs are also service dogs. There is also a link on the home page to a group that may or may not be helpful to you. I don't know how active it is now because I have not followed it for sometime. The blog is at: http://sue-eh.ca/

Another good online blog about dogs is this one: http://www.patriciamcconnell.com/reading-room

As a long time owner of wonderful standard poodles I would be hesitant to recommend them for a 6-year old. Our daughter was 10 when we got our first standard poodle (family dog) and she was 12 when she got her own standard poodle puppy. It was that 2nd puppy that was her companion through the pre-teen and teen years. A match made in heaven. At 6 she would have been overwhelmed. I think that would be true no matter the size of the dog. She simply was not ready. Just something to think about.

If you do decide on a poodle there is a simple fix to the grooming dilemma - ours look like labs - coat kept short all over - no puffy hair at all. We have all the joys of poodle companions and avoid the major draw back.

Short cuts are good! No "show cut" for our bichon. He'll be in puppy cuts forever.

when they come from a reputable breeder... dyhgarden, this is so very true. I would never purchase an animal from a puppy mill (and believe me, there are a lot in personal homes of "reputable" people - I know one and she makes me sick the way she breeds her little dogs constantly - they are cash flow for her, but everyone thinks she is sooooo nice). I did a lot of research and found a very good breeder who bred her dogs only once every two years and was very selective of the bloodlines of the papa dogs to assure there was no interbreeding. She shows her poodles, has won many awards for toy poodles, and sells only a few; mine was trained to be a show dog, but she didn't make it because she was too much of a dancer and whirler. So I got to purchase her when she was one year old to my great luck. She is an absolute delight. Even people who don't care for dogs warm up to Gracie very quickly. She weighs 6 pounds and, because of that, everyone always views her as a wonderful, cuddly puppy, even when they know she is way past being a puppy. I always have a problem posting pictures on Houzz and have been trying to post a picture of Gracie, but have not been successful.

A good trainer can help in selecting the appropriate dog for your family, and in evaluating your cat to see if it can get along with a dog.

I was raised with standard poodles (from toddler age on) and currently own two large golden doodles. I think either (of the right size) could be a good fit for your family. Yet, I agree the dog should probably be a trained therapy dog for your situation... or, at least be very carefully selected. Of my sister doodles, only one would be a good therapy dog, yet they were raised together.

Well I think we have narrowed it down to either a poodle or a golden doodle. We would be looking for one of the smaller varieties no matter which type of dog we land on - something under 40lbs.

We have found one breeder of golden doodles and checked references and know that they have a littler being born on or around May 18th.

I am continuing our research for a poodle breeder that we like.

I agree that a trainer sounds like it might be worth the investment.

Brie came from eClassic/Eaglehill-South Poodles near Charleston, SC. The location in the north is Connecticut.

Debbie's daughter shows agility poodles (and border collies). There are videos on the website. Athletic poodles!

Here's a webpage of poodles sold to families (Brie is on the page).

My late DH had Brie in our swimming pool (salt pool with steps, not ladder) with him all the time her first summer with us. He was always with her to make sure she retrieved her Frisbee without swallowing too much water. She would DIVE under the water, but we decided not to allow it.