Weight hasn't changed so much, but my energy levels have taken a nosedive. My "back in the day" equivalent is that I used to swear I'd never stop working out consistently. I was fit as a fiddle and proud of my body. I had energy to burn. When I heard older women talk about not being able get themselves to exercise, I thought they lacked willpower. I looked down on their flab. . . . What an ignorant young woman I was. I'm still a good weight, but don't have the tone I used to. The thing is, I know I'd feel a lot better if I was exercising regularly, but my lack of activity seems to have made it even harder to get going. A vicious cycle. I have an appt. next Wed. to meet with my dr. to review my hormone test results. This is for bloodwork -- est, prog, DHEA, thyroid, ferretin (iron). I'm curious to to see what my levels are. Next week I'm also meeting with an allergist for a series of skin tests. Never had food allergies before, but something new I'm dealing with along with perimenopause. I've heard that folks with thyroid problems can have allergies. It's such an issue because I can't tolerate allergy and cold medicines. They just make me feel awful -- something I don't need in addition to hormonal stuff. So, I'm hopingl to find out what foods I need to avoid. I don't care if it's my favorite, I'll drop it like a hot potato. Tina

Ok, I'm looking at this differently.. Sometimes mature adults do need someone to 'help them' This is not a teenager who is going to do the opposite that mom or dad tells them. At least I hope not. I have a guy friend who is in a mess with a woman and I am absolutely shocked that no one in his family "cares" enough to tell him how they feel. My friend is in his late 20's and I think he thinks what he is doing must be ok because his family never says antyhing. I think a little comment or discussion from them would works wonders. Even if he wants to act like it's not their business, I think he needs, and in the long run, would appreciate their concern and guidance. A 24 year old is mature enough in some ways.. but maybe not be so mature and worldly in many things. I find no fault into talking to your son about this. Now, there's a difference between talking/discussing and sermonizing. But if his relationship gets serious, pointing out the fact that he may possibly be responsible for the daughter if the mother's gets sick or killed, etc.. (I don't know wher the father is but I would guess at that young age that he's maynot be around at all). Explaining that children always come first and that braces trump trips, etc may not be a bad idea too. I can't imagine a 24 year old has any idea what he is getting into. I really think some guidance/education from his parents would be ok. And I think them staying totally out of it is the wrong route. If he's not mature to have a discussion with his parents about this, then he's difinately not mature enought to be a parent figure to a teenager. And, that's a huge problem for everyone involved.

I heard a doctor on the radio the other day talking about mothers and sons. She said that the son learns by the age of 12, all the good things his mother can pass onto him. That is how to live his life, how to be a good, kind, compassionate human etc etc. The doctor went on to say that from around 12 onwards, until about 21 (or even older, can't really remember) the son just doesn't "need" his mother. He needs her for practical things but emotionally he is finding his own way. Basically a mother has to tread very carefully around those years, otherwise her son will totally shut down and not speak to her ! It is a nature thing where the son is learning to be a man. Mind you this is where the father comes in, and the "man" teaching goes on for those years. I thought this was really interesting as I tip toe around my own 17 year old son. It explained a lot, to me. I thought this information might be useful to you, in your situation, as you are tortured by the antics of your son. Is his father around ? Really I am not sure there is much you can do. The worst you can do is lecture him, or tell him what to do. I really think you just have to work really hard at keeping the communication channels open, so he will come and talk to you about anything that could be bothering him. You just do not want to shut him down, by criticizing him or getting all upset in front of him. I think you have to think about putting your, very valid, concerns aside and trust him. You know how you have brought him up, you know he won't let you down. He is testing the waters, at this point, and he will come to realize it is a very murky water he is wading into. I know this is not easy - as I am in a similar situation with my DD - but you have this forum to vent. There are people here who will listen and sympathise. So try not to worry.... All the best to you. Popi

i am so sorry to hear, i know i am late, but i have had problems with my boy for years. i use the stuff you put on the paws, it works great. i have had numerous non cat vets up here tell me my kids won't survive. i nurse their nondrinking problems with the special water for babies - sorry brain burp. and kitten formula. use chicken broth sometimes too. also, butter and eggs, make my little girl very happy. my boy is now 16. he lost his twin sister. oh yes, going outside is far better for them. my boy only gets sick on the weekend. I first discovered the outside with my cat years ago. he kept getting ill. it was very expensive and the food was ungodly expensive and not helping. i finally was going to take him in and have him put down. he ran out and i was exhausted after my 2nd job and my child, to do anything. cane back the next morning like nothing was wrong. my little house now has a 6 foot fence outside the chidren happily lay out all summer, 40 ft porch for when it rains. oh and shazbut - cat from 20 years ago, lived in tampa with no fence on normal food for another 9 years making him 18 when some nasty person ran him over. true it was a horrible end, but if he had not gone out, he would have died at 9.