Random funny stuff

10 years ago

Copied off of Al Tapla over on the Container Gardening forum:

Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese.
FINE, it was a pizza. I ATE A PIZZA!!

How to prepare Tofu:

Throw it in the trash.

Grill some Meat.

I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

I don't mean to brag but... I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school?
Me neither.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented... I forgot where I was going with this.

I love being over 60. I learn something new every day... and forget 5 others.

A thief broke into my house last night... He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like: I KNOW, right?

I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day

Featured Answer

Texas_Gem

10 years ago

I had a salad for dinner. A fruit salad. It had grapes, okay it was all grapes. I had wine okay?!? ;)

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Comments (19)

gadgets
10 years ago
Really loved the "out of order" one.
katlan
10 years ago
Oh man, they were all good! Thanks.
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I think a lot of jar manufacturers changed the threading on their jars to keep people from using them for canning. Maybe liability issues? I have lots of old Classico jars and don't use them in the pressure canner, but do a lot of my HWB canning in them. I love them, but they have a smaller capacity than the standard quart jars. And that's perfectly fine for some things I don't really need a full quart for. I use lemon juice for tomatoes as well. Am satisfied with the taste. If it tastes too sour, you may add sugar safely. It masks the acidity, but supposedly does not affect the acidity of the product at all. I have never been one for electric kitchen gadgets, but the rationale behind the vacuum sealing for freezer products is very valid. If you are using zip lock bags for irregularly shaped products like breads, where you cannot get the bag to fit them without air space, there is no reason you cannot wrap the product in plastic wrap first and then bag them. Freezer burn is such a wasteful thing.
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morz8 - Washington Coast
10 years ago
So funny. And I've done the same cardio routine.
nanny98
10 years ago
Thanks for the many chuckles and LOL's. Loved it!
happy2b…gw
10 years ago
Thanks for the laughs at bedtime.
Amazing Aunt Audrey
10 years ago

Funnies · More Info
stacey_mb
10 years ago
Very very funny! Thank you.
PKponder TX Z7B
10 years ago
I loved them all!
ravencajun Zone 8b TX
10 years ago
I can testify to the cardio workout and spiders Web dance!
happy2b…gw
10 years ago
I read these to Dh this morning.

Favorites: These got more than one laugh.

How to prepare Tofu:

Throw it in the trash.

Grill some Meat.

I don't mean to brag but... I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

A thief broke into my house last night... He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.
chisue
10 years ago
I liked the healthy, weighty women and the shortened lives of men who mentioned the weight.

The New Yorker runs a caption-less cartoon contest. Recently it showed two men at a table in a restaurant. One man is looking above the other's head at a falling block of cement that's about to land on his companion. The winning caption has the about-to-be-hit man saying, "I told my ex I'd take her back if she dumped some weight."
Jasdip
10 years ago
I love these! I see some new taglines for my email!
User
10 years ago
Clever! lol
Yayagal
10 years ago
Lots of fun.
kathi_mdgd
10 years ago
Mase my day,love those..

Thanks

Kathi
pattico_gw
10 years ago
I can't tell you how many times I forget what I'm talking about in the middle of a conversation
bob_cville
10 years ago
This morning a sign in front of a car wash I pass on the way to work read:

Ban pre-shredded cheese

Make America Grate again.
blfenton
10 years ago
Those are funny and bob, so is that sign.

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Random funny stuff

Texas_Gem

Comments (19)

gadgets

katlan

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