Mythical critters we'd love to see in our rose gardens

8 years ago

Hi folks

This weekend I found not only TONS of roses that were shredded by what I suspect to be squirrels in my yard, but also an apple tree and the friggin' shed DOOR that they'd been chewing on (6' up so it's probably not mice or voles). I ask you, how much nutrition do they expect to find from a DOOR. The little varmints also love to dig up my blooming flower bulbs at will and take a bite. Oh, not more than one bite, since daffodils are poisonous to squirrels, but it doesn't stop them from moving all the way down the row digging up more daffodils and tulips. "Duhhhh, Ralphie, dat round thing tasted awful! Let's see if this one that looks and smells exactly the same tastes any different. Nope! Let's try them all just in case..." Sadly, daffodils don't seem to be lethal to squirrels - not that I'd remotely poison any creature on purpose (even mice) but if they're dumb enough to KEEP digging them up...

Combine this with my biweekly dandelion hunt in what's left of my lawn (and the neighbors' lawns) to dig up those never-ending floral pests. I got to thinking - what if we could combine these pests? What if there were squirrels that ate and dug up dandelions rather than freshly planted roses or (ahem) rows of blooming flower bulbs? We might actually encourage the little tree rats to hang out in our yards then! Or how about tame (quiet) chickens that only ate Japanese beetles and pooped straight into your compost pile? Voles that only burrowed under and ate the roots of bindweed and bermuda grass? Hey, if they're going to go for food that's plentiful and never-ending, it's possible!

I've been working to entice the rare and fleeting wild teenager into my own yard, but sadly the only incentives I've been able to manage hover between extreme boredom and cold hard cash (neither incentive do I want to encourage). Too bad, as I have two likely suspects with considerable potential, but I have high hopes once the strawberries and blueberries start bearing that I can come up with more context-appropriate incentives. Even the snow peas will have the desired effect at a pinch.

What about you? What mythical creatures can you invent that you'd gleefully invite into your rose garden?

Cynthia

Featured Answer

jim1961 / Central Pennsylvania / Zone 6

8 years ago

I have a couple of these running around the garden they take care of the Voles, squirrels, and the like... :-) he he

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Comments (44)

nummykitchen
8 years ago
last modified: 8 years ago
I love this post! When I first read the title I have to admit that I envisioned unicorns posing for pictures with the roses, hehehe!

You have some amazing ideas, and I do wonder why they feel the need to dig up multiple of the same bulb just to dump it! Something dug up one of my lily bulbs and just left it on the ground, not even a nibble gone, thank goodness! I will replant it although I'm not sure which one it is so it will possibly mess up my color scheme. Also hate those that dig around my lily bulbs and nibble the red new growth! Boo!

How about some snails with ornate shells that would only eat aphids and thrips!

Giant frogs that would gobble up Japanese beetles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner! And then delight us with their musical ribbits!

Andrea :)

ETA: Okay I just google image searched for roses and unicorns and had to share these!
BethC in 8a Forney, TX
8 years ago
Rabbits, I'd love rabbits that hopped around being cute as they can be that would think roses taste terrible and leave them alone. Right now all I'm contending with are some cotton tails but that darn Jack Rabbit that comes around can devour a whole bush. Maybe if he'd keep a basket full of bright colored eggs with chocolate in them and was always on call. If I want some chocolate with wine in the evening I could just go to the door and call him and he'd hop right up and let me take my pick of his pretty eggs then hop back off to collect some more.
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nanadollZ7 SWIdaho
8 years ago
Cynthia, that is just terrible about all the chewing and damage inflicted by squirrels, but you have such a good sense of humor about the little thieves and vandals.

You don't have a deer problem do you? They are the supreme wasters of roses, dianthus, and tomatoes. Deer must know, after tasting many a sour unripe tomato, that green tomatoes are not what they're after, yet they yank them off the plants repeatedly, only to drop them on the ground. Just like the wastrels who devastate your bulbs, deer grab perfectly beautiful ripe tomatoes, eat a small bite, then let them drop. Or worse, just leave some teeth marks in the tomato, without even taking a bite. I think those "stomachs on stilts" just like to see the tomatoes bounce down the hill. Anyway, I am proposing a carnivorous squirrel devouring deer. This creature isn't interested in roses or tulip bulbs, but sinking its long carnivore teeth into voles and squirrels. The Carnodeer are deathly afraid of humans, so we don't have to fear this beast, but it strikes terror into the craven hearts of all squirrels and voles. The rodents quickly leave your yard upon sighting the ravenous deer and depart to your neighbors' trees post haste.

OK, how's that for a little cold revenge on those squirrels, voles, and, I hope, in my case, gophers? And maybe the carnodeer strike some fear into the hearts of their cousins, the vegan deer, so those pests leave the area, too. Diane
springrosemama
8 years ago
I caught squirrels in the act of chewing the buds off my roses. I have one old, lazy dog who is no longer interested in chasing them. I need a squirrel-eating unicorn, lol.
User
8 years ago
This thread is THE BEST. I will be back. I love the carnodeer...am thinking, unicorns that eat badgers, maybe? or just excrete something that totally repels them? and I love, love, love the "rare and fleeting wild teenagers", beyond words...best post EVER!!!
nummykitchen
8 years ago
Oh my goodness, a Unikitty!!! Love it! This thread is too much fun ;)

Next I need some giant turtles to carry around a garden caddy with gloves and pruners and follow me around the garden! They could eat the spent blooms.
mad_gallica (z5 Eastern NY)
8 years ago
I have had groundhogs that go through the yard eating dandelions.

There are the monstrous, fire breathing beasts that roam the neighborhood picking off unwary squirrels, chipmunks, and the occasional deer. Unfortunately, they stay on their time worn paths, and the deer seem to know this.
nippstress - zone 5 Nebraska
Original Author
8 years ago
Oh Andrea, it never occurred to me that mythical meant, well, mythical like unicorns! How lovely that you found us such entirely appropriate unicorns for our rose gardens! Those two would be absolutely welcome in my yard, and I'll bet they come already trained to poop in the compost pile too! And yes, springrosemama - squirrel eating unicorns would be just the epitome of high class combined with wildness to get the job done!

Beth - I am so down with the concept of an adult Easter Garden bunny that brings chocolate, wine, and back massages to deserving gardeners. Hey, what are those big padded feet for anyway? Those are bunnies I'd welcome as the sun goes down instead of dreading that they're going to undo all my hard work of the day.

Diane - I snorted loud enough to wake my husband napping in the other room at the idea of your carnodeer! Absolutely priceless! That's a perfect way to blend two of the more vicious garden pests and make them do head-to-head (or teeth to fur) with each other. I'd give the advantage to the deer if they were a little more mobile, but my mind boggles at the thought of a deer climbing into a tree to get at the vicious squirrel that's running away from it. I'm wondering if we might need carnodeer predators (and what on earth THAT might look like).

Ooh, ooh, I know - Unikitty! The Unikitties scare away the carnodeer and prevent them climbing trees to eat the squirrels - but what do they eat then? They're sure not getting any of the chocolate the Garden Bunny leaves me! That is a FABULOUS picture Jim, and I can't believe someone took the time to mock it up! You'll have to share any new sightings of unikitty in your yard and of course unikitty never never leaves semi-dead vole "presents" on your front step, shoes, pillows, garden bags...

Bart-2015 I strongly suspect you have had some not-enough sightings of rare and elusive wild teenagers in your own house! Glad you liked the reference! My son is a video hermit these days, but eagerly agrees to mow the lawn for cold hard cash, and admittedly he does a nice job. Fortunately he exercises enough to get out of his teen-cave in other ways, and he suffers through his share of other chores just for the experience (I don't want to make gardening a chore for them either). My daughter has taken to roaming the garden while I'm out working (she of the extreme boredom), and she smiled last night at dinner when I told her I'd described her this way. I definitely welcome her help, but she has such a quiet step she surprised me Sunday while I was leaning down underneath a massive climber that had slipped its supports, and when I jerked up to see what she wanted most of the canes snagged me every which way on the back, hair, both legs, upper arm, and one down the inside of my gardening pants. It was hard at that exact moment to show her convincingly how pleased I was that she was offering to help ("no honey, these are tears of JOY"). My Pilates class that I teach this morning was convinced this massive scratch down my leg was still bleeding (it looks awful), and I warned them it'll just get worse for the next month or two.

Andrea, I'm all in favor of the garden turtle to carry our tools, but since it has a lot of free time between needing to hand over the next tool I think it ought to be trained to dig rose holes RIGHT where I want them while I'm waiting.

Keep up the stories folks! I haven't laughed this much in quite a while!

Cynthia
fragrancenutter
8 years ago
I would like thrips that only eat fungal spores on leaves.
towandaaz
8 years ago
last modified: 8 years ago
How about instead of brown/black thrips they're all the colors of the rainbow so when they're doing their damage at least they look like ice cream cone sprinkles? Also, rather than the disgusting brown damage they leave I find all kinds of textural patterns worked into the rose leaves: damask, hounds tooth, checkered, stripes, etc. It only makes the roses more beautiful and interesting. This thread made me wonder why all the critters in the garden, from the tiniest thrips to the largest mammals all have to "take something away" from my roses rather than add to the beauty. There are the few insects that help with the more damaging ones but it isn't enough! Where I live we have these things called javelina:

These guys are like gangs of drunken teenagers, running thru the neighborhood knocking over cages, shredding anything they like and flinging potted flowers all over the yard. Oh, and did I mention they stink to high heaven and leave their perfume just hanging in the air? I wish they had fairy wings and would just fly away.
rosecanadian
8 years ago
last modified: 8 years ago
Ooooh nasty little guy (although it looks cute).

How about an ant that eats blackspot right off the leaves, leaving shiny green foliage in its place! This ant would be colored a beautiful himalayan poppy blue so that we can recognize them as good guys.

Carol
nippstress - zone 5 Nebraska
Original Author
8 years ago
Now that's the kind of spirit, putting even our tiniest creatures to work in our mythical garden! Thrips that eat fungus, ants that eat blackspot, and both in iridescent or playfully beautiful colors! If we're going to have pests, let's have useful interesting ones, or at least ones that leave interesting patterns behind them.

Towandaaz, that is one lethal looking javelina. They're vaguely cute in the sense squirrels are cute until you see the damage they do. I hesitate to ask what javelinas eat, but they sound like terrors and nothing you'd want to encounter in a dark alley. Are those tusks I see by its snout? Regardless, I bet those critters could flip out a whole row of newly planted roses in a warm summer evening and drive you crazy. Looks like we'll have to invent javelinas that dig up the roses you always wanted to move but they were too thorny, and root around to plant them where you wanted them in the first place (totally quietly of course). They look impervious to rose scratches anyway, so this is a good role for them.

I remember Kim Rupert and I got into a silly discussion some years ago of the notion of cross-breeding roses with chickens, so that the roses would be self fertilizing. Kim brought up the obvious limitation of this approach, that not only would the roses wake you up crowing at the crack of dawn (and with nearly 1000 roses that would be deafening for me), but they'd be able to run off if improperly fenced in. Heck, I lose enough roses over the winter from freeze damage - just imagine the extra losses if they could leave in a huff if improperly cared for! "Wait, stop Cary Grant! Oh no, don't back out of your driveway, you just ran over Marilyn Monroe and Lucille Ball!!" National Enquirer here we come...

Cynthia
jim1961 / Central Pennsylvania / Zone 6
8 years ago
I've seen this guy snorting up insects in our garden... But mostly I see him loafing...lol
nanadollZ7 SWIdaho
8 years ago
Jim! Are you trying to scare us? I thought this guy was the javelina's funny uncle. Does this dude live in that tree I'd like to own? I don't if I'd like him creeping around my yard picking off voles and squirrels. Makes you feel sorry for the voles and squirrels. I wonder if he's attacked the Hand, too. Diane
jim1961 / Central Pennsylvania / Zone 6
8 years ago
LOL Nanadoll... This guy just snorts up bad insects like thrips, aphids, rose slugs, rose midge etc. etc. Chasing voles or squirrels isn't his thing... lol
rosecanadian
8 years ago
I love it, Jim!!!! He's got that certain "je ne sais quoi."

Carol
towandaaz
8 years ago
Cynthia, I really laughed out loud at the chicken and rose cross. That's really very funny. You probably don't want to meet a javey in a dark alley! Especially if any babies are around. They get pretty aggressive when the little ones are with them, but sort of ok when there's just adults around. These guys don't have tusks but they really are scary looking. The first time I ever saw one it was night and I had just moved to a small town in Arizona and was walking home from work. One had knocked a metal garbage over and was rootin' around in there - making a hell of a racket. I was trying to figure out what it was, but just got scared and high tailed it home. I don't know which is worse around here for roses - javeys or deer? It's going to be a whole new world when I have a fenced-in backyard. :-) And, YIKES Jim!
nippstress - zone 5 Nebraska
Original Author
8 years ago
Good heavens, Jim - that looks positively creepy! I had to look several times to see what he might have been originally supposed to be, before being transformed into a thrip magnet in your yard (some old guy with a huge nose in a mask maybe?)

And Towandaaz, you have indeed had your back alley experience with the javelinas! You know you have a truly wild back yard when you have to carry mace with you to protect you from the critters. Almost makes a burglar look tame in comparison.

Cynthia
jim1961 / Central Pennsylvania / Zone 6
8 years ago
Since my last creature scared everyone how about this bad insect eating flying dragon??? Had to teach him not to scorch the blooms & leaves though...lol
rosecanadian
8 years ago
Awwwww!! I love the wings!!

Carol
jjpeace (zone 5b Canada)
8 years ago
I've always fancy the phoenix or magical types of birds from folklore and mythology. It could be fire phoenix from the middle east, the feng huang from China or the firebird from Russian folktales. I think there is nothing more elegant in a beautiful rose garden with a beautiful feathered bird.
nanadollZ7 SWIdaho
8 years ago
Jim, that's adorable. I want a baby dragon. Is that your hand holding it? Diane
jim1961 / Central Pennsylvania / Zone 6
8 years ago
But of course that's me holding it Nanadoll... ;-)
nanadollZ7 SWIdaho
8 years ago
Jim, I hope the little guy doesn't breath fire on your fingers. It would be painful to plant roses with burnt fingers. What do you feed him? I wonder if he is the storied "Rose Dragon" that eats nothing but rose buds? Diane
User
8 years ago
These are all great ideas. I've been thinking seriously: what I need might be a small but fiesty band of hippogriffs (as well as that adorable dragon and the fungal disease-eating insects). The carno deer and meat-eating unicorn are good, but I think something a little more aggressive would be best for my situation. The hippogriffs could easily polish off the badgers and wild boar, but they'd also be effective during hunting season, keeping the highly un-welcome hunters from trespassing on my land! and-YES!- a couple of the mini-dragon's full-sized cousins would be an appropriate addition as well,since the hunters would be vicious enough to try to shoot at the hippogriffs. But the giant dragon's scales would render him or her absolutely bullet-proof...
jim1961 / Central Pennsylvania / Zone 6
8 years ago
Oh Nanadoll our little flying dragon likes JB's, and other bad insects. He likes them flame broiled...lol... No rose buds unless he accidently turns the rose stem into a burnt looking matchstick...
rosecanadian
8 years ago
How about a dung beetle that instead of rolling elephant dung, will produce little dung balls of its own that are packed with every good thing a rose needs to grow. And they love to live among rose plants.

Carol
nanadollZ7 SWIdaho
8 years ago
Haha, Jim,. I guess your only worry is the occasional small rose stem. I could use a little dragon for thrips. No JBs here, thank heaven.

Bart, we have carnoMULEdeer. Mule dear are big guys, the largest deer, so they can take on most rose enemies. But you and I have discussed badgers before, and they are good guys in this desert. They keep the gophers and other varmints under control. When I first moved out here in the hills, there were gopher holes with the pile of frass next to each hole all over the place. Now they are not to be found after Mr. Badger took care of them. Diane
hoovb zone 9 sunset 23
8 years ago
How about Unicorns that eat rose slugs, thrips, Japanese beetles, rose curculios, aphids, grasshoppers, katydids, and strangers who come and steal flowers in the night?
nippstress - zone 5 Nebraska
Original Author
8 years ago
Jim - what a fantastic photo of the most precious little dragon! The care that has gone into creating that photo boggles my mind, not to mention the bravery in allowing the dragon to steam heat on "your" fingers. He's definitely the size we'd need in the garden to eat all those bad insects. I'd worry about the hippogriffs that Bart suggests, useful though the critter scaring qualities might be. See since my yard is so intensely planted everywhere, there'd be nowhere for the poor hippogriff to set down. To keep one, I'd have to (gasp) reduce the sizes of my rose gardens and plant (oh, the horror!) grass!! Even for my own pet hippogriff I'm not sure I could do it.

Now Carol has the lazy gardener's best friend, with beetles that will quietly transport the needed nutrients to the roses in just the right dose. All of you with pet hippogriffs and dragons (not to mention unikitty) will need Carol's dung beetles to take care of the (um) output of your mythical creatures. I sure the heck am not shoveling dragon dung! Bad enough to dig all the rose holes I have coming this spring (my in-box is chock full of delivery messages from the dozen or so companies I ordered from - I am so toast this weekend!)

Just curious Diane, do the badgers dig in your garden? I can fully appreciate how useful it is to scare away the gophers in your desert garden, with these nonmythical useful critters. I'm wondering how well the badgers would get along with your carnomuledeers? Jeepers, the names for these critters keep getting longer. Next we'll have unikittyminidragoncarnomuledeer popping up (hah, Jim - try a picture of THAT one).

Oh Hoov, what a fantastic idea. Forgot that we need the unicorns to not only take care of the little bugs but the great big stink bugs who take flowers (much less full plants) away when we're not looking! I'm blessed with neighbor children who totally ask before they take bouquets home for their parents, even the 2 and 3 year olds, and with a yard full of blooming tulips right now that is tremendous temptation. Everyone but the squirrels and occasional passing adult just looks, until I cut bouquets for them in the Solo cups I keep handy for such opportunities.

What fun folks!

Cynthia
nanadollZ7 SWIdaho
8 years ago
First of all, Cynthia, your unikittyminidragoncarnomuledeer creature will give Jim ideas, and watch out, before you know it he will post a photo of this complicated animal. I can't wait to see it.

Do you really want the badger details? First of all the gophers lived in the undeveloped gulley right behind my back yard (some still do, I suppose). Our yard slopes down to the gulley, and cannot be landscaped on the slope.The holes with frass were all over the gully and slope. When I first moved here, gophers tunneled into my back flower beds, did their damage and left. This only happened a few times, and then no more. Meanwhile I sighted our badger--he even came up to the edge of our yard. All I had to do was look down the slope to see where he had systematically dug out gopher tunnels all along the slope. Badgers are incredible diggers, and can outdig a tunneling gopher or rabbit they are after. But the badgers have short little legs are not fast runners. So a rabbit has a fighting chance of making a run for it. But one of our resident coyotes may be standing by, working in tandem with the badger to get the rabbit or gopher. If the rodent gets away from the badger, the coyote goes after it. The result is the badgers get the rodents before they get to my garden. Diane
rosecanadian
8 years ago
Yes, I'm loving this!!

Carol
jim1961 / Central Pennsylvania / Zone 6
8 years ago
unikittyminidragoncarnomuledeer creature..... hummmm
jim1961 / Central Pennsylvania / Zone 6
8 years ago
One of Steves deer came to visit me today I almost did not reconize him...lol
rosecanadian
8 years ago
Hah!!!! That's hilarious!!!

You got to have a sense of humor about your deer problem ... or you'd go crazy!!

Carol
User
8 years ago
Ooh...these pests! they are just MASTERS OF DISGUISE...
nippstress - zone 5 Nebraska
Original Author
8 years ago
Ha, Jim! Looks like you captured a photo of the elusive Grouchodeer! Beneficial to the garden because they drop cigar ash around the beds but dangerous because they don't look where they're stepping while they wiggle their eyebrows milking the audience for laughs. Just wait till his brothers start showing up - hoo boy, that's A Day at the Races.

Diane, I was thinking your badgers did sound might useful at chasing away the mice (I'm fine if the coyotes finish the mice off), but the "super at digging" part sounds suspiciously fraught with danger. I can imagine a badger uprooting an established rose because some fool gopher snuck in there for protection. I imagine you don't let small dogs or cats out into the garden at night either, for fear the same fate awaits them. You have quite the Wild Life out there.

Cynthia
springrosemama
8 years ago
This thread is too funny! I've decided that instead of importing magical beasts, I'd like to turn myself into Snow White so I can just start singing and make all the little critters do what I want.
rosecanadian
8 years ago
Cynthia - very funny!! :)

Sspringrosemamma - love it!!

Carol
User
8 years ago
Yeah,the "super at digging" thing is what I hate about the badger/s that plague my garden.It seems like an "accident waiting to happen", if you know what I mean... Mine are also lazy,I think; there's still plenty of mice; I think that mine just go for earthworms and grubs mainly. I went ahead and bought a Havaheart trap,and am going to try re-location if I succeed in trapping. Also, no more composting allowed in my garden, since they eat the garbage. I'm going to get a composter and keep it here at the house and only utilize finished compost out at my land. Fie upon them!!!
rosecanadian
8 years ago
A pox on them!! :)

Carol
nanadollZ7 SWIdaho
8 years ago
Badgers do not dig in my garden, and they are not interested in mice, just larger prey like gophers and rabbits. They dig in the wild undeveloped areas and along the slope below my back yard. I have no problems with badgers, and I want them to stay. Diane
nippstress - zone 5 Nebraska
Original Author
8 years ago
Ah Springrosemama, now that's the ticket! We don't need to transform the critters, just transform us. Let's see - "tra la la la" means badger dig right here 2' deep, "hum de dum dum" means birds gently lift the rose I want into the hole, and "oh-oh-oh oooooh" means raccoons cover it back up and pat it down gently. I could use those kinds of critters this time of year! Teenagers pale in comparison, direct quote, "But I don't want to get dirty". Sigh, but they'll learn.

Bart, sounds like you need a tune to scare them away from the garbage and compost - some strategically placed AC/DC might do the trick? Glad they don't cause you grief Diane - that means that they're able to be enticed away from problem areas if the prey is easy enough. Lazy I do understand...

Cynthia