WV Friends - Question about blasting for new home
Buehl
8 years ago
last modified: 8 years ago
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Politeness/ Different expectations question about a friend
Comments (20)Hi, Meredith!! This is my first post in ages. I know you're honored (LOL!!!). Here's my take: although everyone has their own unique idiosyncracies (ie: spontaneous vs. need to plan ahead) and every friendship has unique circumstances (best friend lives next door vs. across town), my personal rule of thumb is that friendships work best with less "requirements" instead of more. So, respecting the differences between you means tolerating different styles, otherwise it's just too much work. The key to a great friendship is immediate and automatic forgiveness and acceptance of the little stuff. She made a special dish for you as you asked (how nice!) but forgot about your special needs and didn't give you warning a day in advance to save your energy/back for dinner (oops!!). You are both miffed....NO PROBLEM!! Why? because there is nothing wrong with your feelings. You shouldn't even be debating whether yours or hers are any less or more valid. There's no right or wrong here. It's really all about how much you tolerate and ultimately forgive your friend. And vice versa. The way I'd handle it is: you call and tell her how sorry you are that you missed your favorite meal, especially since she went to so much trouble for you (any leftovers?). You love and appreciate everything she did. Your back sometimes interferes with your ability to be spontaneous (isn't it a bummer?) But if you get a day's notice, you can often rest your back enough to do what you want. Thank her profusely for going to all that trouble just for you (which she did, unquestionably). End of story. Don't tell her what to do in the future (save that for some other time when there's nothing in the air between you), or expect her to say anything like "I'm sorry". That would be imposing a requirement on her in order to soothe your feelings. If she does it, great!! But if you love this friend, and you are willing to tolerate the differences in your respective styles, it shouldn't matter that she occasionally forgets about your style. Yes, my suggestion sounds like a one way apology...and in some ways, it is. However, you are really acknowledging the special effort she made for you, her friend. That acknowledgement is important, because people need to feel appreciated. She did something for you, but blew it in the execution. Like any other gift, it's the thought that counts. My guess is that with acknowledgement, the whole thing will quickly defuse. And if I know you, you've already had that conversation anyway. So don't do anything more. Keep your feelings to yourself. Someone really wise once told me that in every relationship, including marriage, the parties decide every day, subconsciously, whether they still want to be there. This is part of it. Anyway, that's my take on friendship. It comes from knowing, in my heart of hearts, that I am very imperfect, yet my friends still love me and want to be my friend. I try to......See MoreHello friends, couple quick question about trees.
Comments (3)Hi Itssohot and welcome to the desert. Flowering pear (Pyrus kawakamii) is native to Taiwan and prefers rich garden soil. Unfortunately it tends to struggle here in the low desert because our soils and water are alkaline. Their flowering season is in early spring for about two weeks and the rest of the year the leaves show symptoms of chlorosis and salt burn. It is possible to create a landscape with a Mediterranean or tropical theme all by using desert-adapted plants. Dozens are showcased in the free booklet Landscape Plants for the Arizona Desert available from some nurseries or your city's water conservation office. Another great resource is the free interactive CD Water-Wise Landsaping in the Arizona Desert also available from your city water conservation office. Most cities also offer free landscaping/gardening classes for their residents. The on-line version of the booklet is available at the address below. Here is a link that might be useful: Landscape Plants for the Arizona Desert...See Morenew: open invitation to a new make new friends robin!
Comments (150)Ahh yes, the math skills are really horrible (I don't know if this is just an epidemic in WV or if the whole US is calculator spoiled). I'll never forget one time I was at McDonald's and my total came to something like $4.96 and I gave her a $5...she messed up the register and was completely lost as to how much to give me back. I said "it's just 4 cents, don't worry about it"...but she said "well, then my register will be off"...so I waited for her to go get her supervisor who proceeded to use a calculator to figure up my change. I was completely dumbfounded. I'm not sure those were the exact amounts..but it was very simple math...so sad. The bad thing is I've seen several examples similar to this. For a short while while I was in college, I worked at Shoney's. I ended up quitting after about a month or so because the supervisor kept forcing me to work over when I had exams yo study for and things I really needed to get home to...but when I went in to quit, the manager came into the office and tried to talk me out of it because they had been having trouble finding people who can count back change! Amazing to me....See MoreIgloochic--Question about your new house?
Comments (3)Hey there Lav :) The gardens...oye oya? Oyyyyyyyy (how do you spell that?) They're extensive. But with very few roses. But the one that is there is supposedly original to the house :) We'll baby that one. I'm a rose lover but know squat about them. I do plan on learning more. We expect to remove about half the gardens, but what we take out will become a dining area and an herb garden. Then I was thinking to work in roses where the lavendar will be removed (sorry, I hate your namesake LOL) Today I explored the dining room china cabinet. I have a lovely china collection I have no idea what it is LOL but I think I'll use it for my inspiration. It's deep blue and white (almost a flow blue) with hand painted roses on it. Trimmed in gold. I have a mix of different era's of the same pattern, about a service for 20 or so. Our big party is next weekend with the first guest arriving on Thursday and the last leaving on Monday. WE're wildly planning it out and figuring what we have. We have a total of 8 wine glasses, and mom gave me a few more, but 20 wine drinkers and they all probably will use a couple glasses...a quick trip to costco was shocking LOL But we're better stocked. I have searched the basement and first level and haven't found the right table for the parlor :) I have edited those rooms though and it's much better. I'll search the second and third floor tomorrow. Something must be out there LOL We did decide to move the work to another location so I don't need to do the room as much as I had thought I would. Funny...I did melt the firescreen day one. It was stained glass, looked old but I was fairly certain it was not. But it's a fire screen so I sat it (away a bit) by the propane stove in the parlor because it's frighteningly hot and we were worried about DS. LOL I smelled something....it was the lead whatever between the glass melting and the glass fell out when I picked it up. Ok that's one thing down... The tea room is now a play room. It has a very new and totally inappropriate thomas table in the middle :) And needs some art. The reject (non antique) furniture is gradually making it's way down to here. Until we do the kitchen I think we'll eat in there and keep this as a second play room (he does not eat so it's nice to have a place for him to play while we do). So tea rooms will wait...but it will happen LOL It's such a great room we're really enjoying it :) I'm afriad of the antique rose forum...perhaps I'll haunt it for a bit LOL...See MoreBuehl
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoBuehl
8 years agoBuehl
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoBuehl
8 years agoBuehl
8 years ago
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