Not true. It's only better when your dead but not while you are alive. God put you here for a purpose and he will take you when he is ready and now when you think you are. Stop thinking like this, this too shall pass.
Hoping things look brighter today ???
If you cannot put yourself first please think of your parents and other loved ones...
Go to a good doctor... Talk to them bout your thoughts.
Scripture or a good pastorcan also be of great help. Google Joyce Meyer.org or Joel Holstein.org
Not Joel Holstein. Its Joel Olstein.org
Please.........NO Celebrity preachers. Find a good Christian Preacher/Pastor close to your home town.