Maybe they need to see what happens on Spring Break in the US!...that should change their minds.

It's a tough question, very tough. I would say no to the trip because of the number of kids and the location. Even the most "responsible boys" can get led astray, especially in an oversized group like 8 kids. Legally, 18 might be an adult, but we all know young people that age are often still very immature and not wise in the ways of the world either. Their judgement is still not fully developed.

No doubt this trip would be the first independent outing for some if not all, and that could lead to less-than-desirable behavior.

That said--if a person does have a responsible boy who has worked hard all through school and has never given the parents any measurable trouble, it's difficult to say no to a special trip. Then there is the kid who subconsciously wants the parents to say no.

How about Disneyland/Disneyworld (CA, FL) and for only 3-4 days? Or a carefully selected cruise? Alaska would be great, Mexico maybe not.

I wouldn't let my daughter go. Instead her and friends went on a cruise.

If 18 is old enough to join the military and old enough to go away to school how is going on a trip to Hawaii different? They can get into just as much trouble on the mainland. Either they are responsible or they are not.

DD and a few friends decided to go to Hawaii after high school graduation instead of doing the school's Disneyland trip. The following year she went to Europe.

DS went to a convention in Las Vegas on his own when he was 16.

I did a 10 day trip to Hawaii when I was 17.

I'd send them to the mountains for hiking. You have to wear clothes for that.

I personally didn't find Hawaii all that welcoming. Beautiful yes, but we rented a house and tried to do less touristy things. The locals don't really like mainlanders all that much. We were on Big Island. My son went to Maui with another family that same year. He said that was a totally different experience. They stayed in nice hotel near the beach and it was a more friendly atmosphere.

I think one boy is probably a lot more responsible than eight. :) How about an archaeological dig, sports clinic or service mission? Nothing like building a road or school to create bonding moments, great memories, and worthwhile self esteem.

I love Hawaii, we've gone pretty regularly over the years, including with the kids. But to send a high school graduate on a trip like that isn't (to me) a tough question or even a close call. I was asked by only one of my three kids about a high school graduation trip. Answer - No.

We offered and paid for college graduation trips, to me that's different by orders of magnitude. Each had done well as undergrads and had gained admission to competitive grad school programs. Giving them a trip at that time to celebrate was also a no-brainer decision.

My kids paid for their own trips. At what miracle age do they suddenly develop the street smarts to go out on their own if they are never given the chance to go out and learn them?

The difference with military service at 18 or going away to school is that there are authority figures to keep the kids in check

Not really. The first week DD was at a college she went to a local pub with her new friends. No curfews, no one doing room checks, you were free to come and go as you please. Sure there were dorm "rules". But nothing to prevent your freedom to come and go as you pleased. They are adults by law like it or not.

Dorm rules? Quite some time back, when I was in college, these were the dorm rules:

1. No open flames, hair dryers or cooking appliances in the rooms because they can start fires (each dorm had a highly underutilized kitchen that any resident could use, and hairdryers were okay in the bathrooms, where they had the right circuits).

2. No alcohol on campus--what you do in your own room is your own business (i.e., getting caught outside your room with empties wasn't a violation because those were empty bottles not alcohol).

3. No kegs on campus--what you do in your own room is your own business (i.e., getting caught outside with an empty is still a violation because an empty keg is still a keg--beer was passed out of dorm room windows in Solo cups so the keg was your-own-businessing in the room. RAs were very helpful when it came to alcohol).

• Exactly plllog. Once in college the student does their own thing. They are not being babysat. Same with the service. The individual takes personal responsibility for staying out of trouble. No one does it for them. In the service you are a man or a woman. In college you are a man or a woman with the responsibility to be one (or not).

I'm still trying to get my head around giving an 18-year old such an extravagant gift. It has absolutely no comparison in my small world.

And as far as "men" being babysat in the military, my son-in-law, an Army Officer still on active duty (28-years), calls it exactly THAT (LOL).

You really do live in your own special little bubble, don't you? Eight young adults should not celebrate what is, probably, the biggest milestones of their lives to date, because it offends your sensibilities? Really? You will not even be there for the spring / graduation / summer season. What do you care?

Teens and everyone else are all individuals. It should be the parent's decision for each of the individuals (if the parents are paying) as to whether the trip is appropriate for that particular individual. In my opinion many but not all 18 years olds are mature enough for such a trip.

If the individual is paying with their own money then it is their decision.

I've seen 18 year old men who are irresponsible (I've seen 50 year old men who are irresponsible). I have also seen 18 year old men who had pretty good judgment, who were responsible, careful, etc.

Who said anything about them NOT celebrating? I didn't! It's just inconceivable. In the real world, most of us had to actually DO something (called work), ACHIEVE a milestone in our lives, and SAVE the money to have this kind of celebration.

Society has degraded true celebrations and milestones to mean you "graduate" from pre-school, including sending out announcements and expecting gifts, and have a "prom" in 6th grade, with children dressed like prostitots. Because you just shouldn't have to wait for anything in life. And then there is the headline case about the "affluenze" teen and you wonder how the heck did THAT happen.....

And then there is the "second golden rule": Just because you CAN, doesn't mean you SHOULD!

Awwww.....Angel! That was a little rough! Let's be nicer. I'd feel bad if you posted that way to me.

I didn't see where anyone said they shouldn't enjoy themselves and 18 is the legal age....

All of the boys I know at that age like to do things like camping, kayaking, mountain-climbing, motorbike racing, etc. If they're the same way and can find equally interesting things to do on Maui, then it's a fine place for them to celebrate!

I know some will disagree with me, but looking back at the teenage boys I knew in my youth, I'm thinking a chance to have sex would easily trump hiking and kayaking.

The mother's "very responsible boys" statement reminds me of my teenage girlfriend's mother who would leave her daughter alone in the house with her boyfriend because "Nothing will happen . . . he's a good Catholic boy."

So my short answer to the OP's question is No. Good point about Natalie Holloway, Clearwaters.

I wouldn't do it. I would have them celebrate somewhere that adult supervision was available. No matter how great you think these boys are, they are still kids. There are all kinds of things they can get into. I was the mother of an 18 year old boy who I thought was the best kid, and sadly I learned that he was like almost every other 18 year old. Luckily for me, nobody got hurt so I didn't have any parents sue me. He is now a responsible 25 year old, and I still get angry when I think about how my trust was violated, even though I love the kid with all my heart.

I don't have a problem with them having a trip somewhere. If the parents want to pay for it then that is their business. Obviously, I think some places would be better places to go than others for a particular group.

I went to Mexico when I graduated from high school. My parents let me go because I had taken two years of Spanish and knew a little of the language. I had worked my senior year in high school and paid for it with my own money. It was also through the school so we had a school chaperone. School gives you a little background, but there is nothing like experiencing it yourself. I learned a lot on that trip. I had never heard of the Mayan temples and wish I had known more before I'd gone. I got to see poverty like I've never seen it. It's made me appreciate what I have more.

One aspect of that trip is there is no legal drinking age in Mexico. Anyone is legally allowed to drink. The school had permission slips that my parents would not sign. I ignored that because I was 18 and technically legal. I didn't abuse it, but I know others would. I never got drunk, but I tried some of those fancy fruity little drinks like a tequila sunrise, margarita and pina coladas because I wanted to know what they tasted like.

We were in some touristy places and went to a few clubs. They were fun, but when you are an American and, particularly, a blue eyed blond you will stand out. I had guys coming up and offering me drinks. I never accepted, but I did have someone bring me a margarita that was really strong. I took a sip or two and set it down because I was uncomfortable. I also always stayed with my group. One girl was drunk almost the entire week. The last night we were there, she brought some local back from the club. They went on the roof together. That could have ended badly, but apparently, she made it back home. Natalie Holiday probably made similar decisions, but left her group and that is where she got into trouble.

I did have one weird thing happen and that was a group from a European country kept taking pictures of me. Most of the kids were blond haired and blue eyed like I was. They didn't speak English and none of spoke really great Spanish so I never figured out what that was about.

That is completely foreign to my experience. We couldn't possibly have afforded such a trip.

Of course that was in the "olden" days. One daughter did have a trip to Europe, well chaperoned, with the Foreign Study League. Reason we could afford it was that she had graduated as valedictorian of her class and received a full scholarship to college. So--we used some of her college savings to pay for the trip .

I am in the "I can't believe it club" about the fact, there is such a trip going. My daughters graduated, one with honors.

Life went on, without a trip.

Moni

Very common here for high school graduates to celebrate with a trip. Often on a cruise or beach trip.

Trips for grads have been happening since before I was a high school grad (1968, when groups would rent a beach house and attend 'beach week'). My kids took trips (1989 and 1992).

edited to add: most high schoolers can drink and have sex before they graduate, if they want to.

One of our kids plus a group of friends, knowing that parents would say "No" to a kids-only cruise idea, surreptitiously investigated and produced a trip "package" concept to include kids plus parents. The completed "package" with many details worked out (parents had their own rooms, kids had theirs in a different part of the ship) was presented to parents. That was hard to say No to.

It wound up being 10 kids and 6 pairs of parents. The kids did their own thing and joined parents for dinner at a couple of large tables. They picked a lower cost cruise line so it was inexpensive (if not a bit tacky). We did a 7 day cruise from LA to Puerto Vallarta and back and all had a great time.

Parenting is an experience with thousands of situational decisions to make. There's often no one right answer to a problem. Most (but not all) parents try to do their best. Some are more capable than others.

Last I read, the person inquiring on the Hawaii forum was thinking they would send the boys to Waikiki. (Anyone want to go on about 'cultural experiences'? LOL)

I can't imagine for whom 'EIGHT 18-year-old BOYS' adds up to "Sure, they'll be FINE." Ever been on a field trip or a sports bus to an event with a bunch of HS Seniors?

My DS was very much a BOY long past age 18. He was also exponentially less able to make *independent* decisions when with with a bunch of other boys. I'm not sure when males can responsibly manage the 'dare you' gene, but I wouldn't bet on age eighteen.

*I* wouldn't rent to this pack of boys 'off the reservation'. I wouldn't want to be in the same hotel with them. We have often seen young athletes -- HS and College age --visiting Hawaii for competitions -- ALWAYS traveling with coaches and other 'minders'. They are a handful.

My grandmother would say, "One boy is half a man. Two boys is half a boy. Three boys is no boy at all."

Our granddaughter graduated 2-years ago. She finished her last two years of high school in a special program at a State University while also taking her freshman year of college (tuition free) and graduated with honors, and is now attending a private college with a full scholarship. She also worked a part-time job while going to school, plus a lot of volunteer work.

Here's what she got for high school graduation:

I gave her my grandmother's (her great-great grandmother's) engagement ring along with pictures and a history of her made into a book. When our granddaughter gets married, she'll get some my grandparents wedding gifts that have been passed down.

My husband had the slide-rule (pre-calculator days.....;-) he used while getting his degree in architecture - mounted and framed - and gave that to her, along with a large cash gift.

Her mother got her really nice luggage (such a useful and traditional gift, and well-used since) along with a substantial college fund both parents worked hard to save.

Her father took her sky diving and gave her the remainder of his Army G.I. Bill education funding since he's completed his degree while in the Army.

She's the only kid I know who will actually have money in the bank after an education at a $45,000 a year college.

BTW - She's been to Hawaii, Europe, South America, and is a seasoned traveler.

I would not send them on a trip. I would put money in their savings account and let them get an education and a good job. I don't think around here trips or cruises are done much for high school graduates. You get a party and gifts!

I know we just gave our kids money.

Sue

All I can say since I have never been to Hawaii it would not be my son going if I was going to have to pay for it.