Hi Leigh, I've bought two houses on my own now; the first time I also had teens at home. I understand the pressure of making these big decisions on your own.

I absolutely think you did the right thing walking away from that house. I know it's a cliché but the location/neighborhood/neighbors are going to make or break whether you are happy in your home. Especially with children I would not want growling dogs or busy streets. You've got one young child who will likely walk/bike places and one new driver I assume. They need to have proximity to their friends and activities.

I looked for nine months for the first house I bought. I had lived in the area for 15 years and needed to stay in the same school district so that limited where I would look. Yes I knew when I walked in the door that it was my house. So much so that I waited seven more months for the short sale to go through.

The house I live in now is in a different city as I had to relocate last year. It was also a very hot market with bidding wars and houses that went under contract in a day. It makes the whole process a lot more stressful. The best thing I did was work with an excellent agent who took the time to understand what I needed in a home and was clear about the risks of certain properties. It was hard to get down here to see houses but I did look at many houses and neighborhoods before I found the one. There was always something about the houses I saw that wasn't right. As time dragged on I did some second guessing - maybe I should have bought this or that house, as I was getting desperate (I'd already sold my other house and had a date I needed to move.

The house I eventually bought - the exterior had really ugly paint and the yard was not nice. So curb appeal was missing. When I first saw the pictures online I wasn't sure I even wanted to make the trip down to see it. And inside wasn't much better at first, as the furniture/decor of the sellers was not attractive either. But as I walked through I started being able to see beyond what was there to what it could be. And it's on one of the best blocks in the city. By the time I got to the kitchen I knew it was the one. Offer made! The only second guessing I did was on the price because it was not a bargain by any means. But now that I live here I feel it was worth it. And I'm so glad I didn't settle for any of the other houses.

I agree with Lana, that advance research will help you feel confident. It's good to know what's out there to set your expectations. Make sure you are confident about your budget and what you will need for any updates for the house. Drive around neighborhoods you are interested in during the week and on the weekend to see what the personality is. Talk to the people in the neighborhood about what it is like for children as well as a single mom. Look at houses that come on the market in those neighborhoods if they have your basic criteria even if you don't like the pictures online. If possible, be patient until you find the right house. And I think when you find it, you will know.

Good luck!

You did the right thing in passing on this house in this neighborhood. Your children are your priority. I would choose a good neighborhood over a house that I loved without a moments hesitation. Keep looking, do your research and a better option will come.

Houses are like buses-- there will be another one coming down the road soon enough.

Also, houses are simply and solely material objects. I love my husband, my friends, animals, etc., but I don't "love" a house. I *like* houses, architecture, design, etc., but it's not the same thing, KWIM? I think it's very important to remain objective and not let your emotions take over-- the real estate business can smell emotion a mile off, and people will take advantage of you.

And here's just a cautionary piece of advice. The Portland area in general (used to live there) is subject to the same boom and bust cycles you see in many other West Coast cities. You can get caught up in the "buy now or be priced out forever" fever, only to buy and then see everything crash around you. That's what it was like in the run up to the crash-- just a few years ago.

Have you considered looking at nearby markets that might not be so red hot, like further out in Washington County, or even (dare I say it) Columbia County? True, it's not a hipster paradise out there, but it can be nice. If I were to move back, I'd take a look at Forest Grove or Scappoose.

A final thought. Last year was not stellar for the stock market, and this year has begun very badly. If there is a crash, some of the money that is fueling real estate on the West Coast may evaporate, and the market may cool off. Always keep in mind that real estate goes down as well as up. No guarantees, obviously-- there is some risk either way. Good luck.

Number one rule should be to buy in the best location you can afford. Number two rule should be location and number three rule is the same as #1 and #2, Location.

You did the right thing in turning down the house. I don't know about others, but I look for the worst house (in terms of cosmetically, not falling down) in the best neighborhood I can afford.

As an example, almost 6 years ago DH and I went looking for a condo. We found one in the building we're in now. The building is in a prime area of our city, with water views. The condo was one of the few in the building that are a 3 bedroom and on a high enough floor to enjoy the views. However the condo hadn't been renovated since 1982, the year the building had been built. Because it hadn't been touched we were able to get it for an excellent price (plus the fact it was during the recession).

We renovated every single room, even though everything worked and was in good condition, just old and old looking. Now we're selling because we want to build a house. We will make a very nice profit because we bought the worst looking unit in a top building.

You need to do the same with a house. If the neighborhood is good that is number one. Next you want a house with good bones. If the roof, plumbing and electrical are fairly new, but the kitchen, baths and flooring are old and tired, that is the ideal home because that is the home that people pass over. Even if it's a warren of closed off rooms, it can be renovated. Those are the homes where over time you can slowly renovate and turn a sow's ear into a silk purse.

The best of luck to you.

You made right decision letting go of that house. We heard all the time that 3 most important things to look for a house are 'Location, Location and Location'. No one says they are 'House, House, and House'.

When we got our first house, the house was far from a dream house, but it was in the best school district and of a great location. A few years later, we sold it fairly easily because of its location and school district.

You get fantastic advices from folks on this thread.

One thing I want to point out is that making decision by yourself is not necessary all negative, as you do not have to face conflicts and tough communication over different perceptions, wishes and wants with your co-buyer(s). Getting the first house is always daunting, but once you have done good homework, you will be a lot more confident and more ensure of your decision.

Best luck!

Never let yourself be rushed into such a big purchase if you have any reservations. This house wasn't right for you.

As someone above said, shop neighborhoods now, then you'll be ready to pounce on any listings that come up there.

Find a friend who can be a sounding board for you in the absence of a spouse.

I'm another who thinks you did the right thing. I'm also a widow (DH passed away almost 3 years ago) with two kids; mine are now 17 and 19. I know that it's doubly scary to go through a major purchase on your own!

In my case, I'm in a tight (as in close friends) neighborhood where DH and I moved before our kids were born. My neighbors have become some of my best friends and when DH passed away, they were a blessing in so many ways. As a widow and an only parent, I think I would have really struggled if I didn't have close neighbors. Even though you mention that you're a bit isolated, there will likely be times when you need help with something, whether it's borrowing a ladder, moving something heavy, or just sharing adult time.

"But not safe for leisurely strolls or bike rides right of the property due to lack of a shoulder or sidewalk." That's an important observation. There will be a few years when your younger one is more independent but can't drive yet (or doesn't have access to a car); a bike will be the key to visiting friends, getting to practice, etc. And my mental health has been boosted by dog walks and runs... I would struggle if I didn't have sidewalks.

Your 7 year old will be in school for 10-11 more years, so I'd focus on school districts. Good school districts often mean nice neighborhoods with people similar to you in many ways. I know it's tough; good schools also mean higher home prices and taxes.

"Were you absolutely certain when you bought your first house? Did you buy with lingering doubts about anything....like you were taking a risk?" I bought my first home, a condo, when I was single and in my 20s. I was incredibly anxious about it. In fact, as I was taking the train to the title company office for the closing, I had to get off a stop early and hurl into a garbage can. Lovely.

I hope you continue to follow your gut and that you find a great place soon. Best of luck to you! I'm rooting for you. :)

I so appreciate the responses! I feel more confident that perhaps I was trusting my gut on this! I have always heard buying a house is stressful but I didn't believe it till now! But I'm going to focus on doing more research on neighborhoods and be more prepared. Luckily, my daughter is in a charter school in Portland till 8th grade..so my only concern really will be high schools and I'm not too worried about that at this juncture. Moving on with my search!

Thank you again everyone!:)

leigh m

I've always looked for homes in a good school area, even after my children were grown and gone. Some day you may want to sell and a future buyer may well be interested in good schools.

I also get it that as time passes local schools can wax and wane as far as quality, but it seems that good school areas attract buyers that value good schools and it is easier to keep good schools then to start with poor ones and make them better.

YMMV

Leigh,

I'm glad we, the GWer's, could be of some help for you.

Speaking from my experience, I would strongly advise you to consider the high school quality even if your daughter is only 7. It might just make a lot of things easier down the road.

Of course, your experience with your oldest child could be very different from our experience with our DS. Please consider the story below as an extra perspective.

DH and his ex moved from a smallish bungalow in a good school district to the big house we live in now. Zero considerations as to school quality. The ex wanted a big place, even if it meant taking on a mortgage. She also wanted more cash on hand to spend. DH owned the old house free and clear. Now the market value of his previous house is way more than of our current house. It's about half the size of our present home, but it would be still sufficient for a family of three.

The result was that our DS never went to a neighborhood school. We were fortunate to place him in a very good K-8 magnet school, which, incidentally, was close to my DH's previous house. We couldn't move because of numerous constraints (the ex's lawsuits for money plus the need to turn DH's business around after the previous marriage/divorce damage, etc.).

Then we had a big shock as DS reached 8th grade. Our neighborhood high school was bad. Most of the kids in DS's class were from the area where the school was located, e.g. one of the priciest areas in the city. One of the best high schools in the whole metro, as well. But we were shut out of that school since the district closed it to transfers completely. Too many people were wanting to transfer there. Although our financial situation had improved a lot, that neighborhood was still out of our reach.

We had a lot of drama with our teenage DS since he really, really wanted to go to the same school as his friends. He absolutely refused to consider any other school alternatives.

We applied to several schools in the suburbs. Thankfully, we got a transfer approved but we also ended up driving our kid to school a good distance every day and dealing with his unhappiness and angst for a good part of his freshman year.

In almost 15 years of real estate, I have NEVER had a client, who missed out on the "perfect" home, not end up finding a property that they deemed just as nice or nicer.

It will happen to you too, in good time.

Ive heard Portland is similar to my town - we have some very desireable older walkable neighborhoods, very strong neighb assns. - part of your research could be contacting those folks re any n'hood you may be interested in, see if there are neighb plans in existence which will guide city/future developments. Just getting a feel for a n'hood and what kind of future is expected and having some personal connections will help if/when the time comes to commit to something.

Because of my budget, I had to pretty much choose which evils I could live with (trains, nearby businesses) and which I couldn't (heavy traffic). My block was kinda dumpy 15 yrs ago, now becoming quite gentrified as the blocks around get developed.

Having a clearer sense of what exactly your options are, what are your non-negotiables and what are things that are not ideal but you could put up with - having that will make it easier next time..... although you should still expect some anxiety, to be expected with any major purchase!

I would absolutely consider school districts as priority because homes in better districts almost always increase in value more than homes with so-so or poor schools.

When my son was 4 we moved from a town with a so-so school district to one with a much better district. We moved into the new house in `1993 and sold it during the depths of the recession in 2010. When we sold, we almost tripled our money. At the time I also looked to see what my old house in the so-so district would sell for based on comps, etc. The old house didn't even double in price.

Another vote for putting school district as top priority regardless if you have school age kids or not. This will narrow down your search area.

Always buy with the idea of resale in mind....so good school system, even if you don't have kids, good neighborhood, not on a main street/next door to eyesores/factories/salvage yards/run down homes.

Most people don't live in one home all of their life, and if you ever need to sell, you want to be able to get out of it.

lana_roma..this is a question for you any other PDXers reading this! Lana....I so appreciate your feedback and for sharing your story. That's very helpful and great advice!

The house I passed up was actually in Milwaukie near Oatfield Rd and Hill Road...and the elementary school down the street, I heard, wasn't that great. So I was facing a commute to NE to our charter school, which I probably would have done had EVERYTHING else about the property been acceptable. I'm already doing the commute from SE and we are dealing with it..but it's not ideal.

What are your thoughts on this situation: I have friends at her charter encouraging me to search in St Johns, Cully, and Sumner (Sumner is out around NE 85th and Alberta area). These are supposedly up and coming areas that are slowly improving...and I hear there are bidding wars on those houses too just like anywhere else. I looked at two properties this week in two of those area. One was St Johns and the house looked great. Steps from Pier Park, which is lovely. I was hopeful. Then went down to a local coffee shop to talk to locals and quickly found out someone had been shot at Pier Park the previous summer. And, no kidding, just as I'm hearing this, two gang patrol officers walk in and end up joining the conversation. They tell us a body was found in Pier Park near the skateboard area...which was the area of the park very close to this house I was considering. Hmmm..maybe not!

Second house was out near NE Alberta and 87th. Great place! Adorable bungalow with a huge yard. So much potential. I hear from neighbors that it's a great neighborhood because the association is active and vibrant. Good people who watch out for each other, etc, etc. I then hear, from the same people, that gun shots are commonly heard at night but no one reports it because they are scared of retaliation from the local gangs. What?! They seem so nonchalant about it all like it's as normal as an annoying barking dog. Have I been too sheltered or is this just life nowadays? But everyone raves about those areas and that they are the best kept secret. And all I can think about is how my teen son likes to bike to local parks and shoot baskets...and he takes the bus everywhere....and I often leave my kids at home alone occasional Sat evenings when I meet friends for dinner. Not sure I'd be comfortable having that life in a neighborhood where gunshots at night are the norm. I walk my dog at night. But so many of my connections, I am finding, live this way and they are by no means poor or struggling. They have chosen it because the neighborhoods are "great".

Am I missing something? Maybe I'm just not urban enough! I might be more of an Oregon City or Sherwood kinda gal at this point. I love our little SE PDX neighborhood but I cannot afford to buy here now. Could have a few years ago though!

Trying to stay positive and keeping an open mind! I so appreciate everyone's input here. This process is truly a journey!

LOCATION is one of the things you cannot change about a property. It has many meanings, too.

We sold our 'starter home' (of 30 years) to a buyer who wanted two things: A property in our particular school district; A lot of at least .25 acre. Her young children were her priority, and she wanted to add a second story to our ranch. She looked at our house once, then brought her DH and...SOLD, no haggling.

We had 'looked' for two years in another town before buying a teardown on a large lot in a 'coveted' (RE-ese) neighborhood. We, too, knew exactly *where* we wanted to be. We built half the size home a spec builder could have put up; some would say we overpaid for location.

Our DS and DIL bought 'the house' despite 'the neighborhood' before they had children. They made improvements, and are pretty happy with their house, but the neighborhood has not improved. They send their two children to private school. Neither the adults nor the kids have any friends in their neighborhood. The kids must be driven to school and to the homes of friends. (When our DS was a child, he had six playmates within two blocks. My DH and I had the friendship and support of good neighbors.)

You did the right thing. I never ever rented even, if the surroundings seemed somewhat gloomy to me. Of course life dictates us choices sometimes, but as long as I'm able to make at least some of these choices-both the house(apartment/condo/whatever) and the neighborhood need to give a good vibe to me.

Also, a good school district? I'd say it's pretty much a must. Even if my kids go to private school for various reasons, even if they're too young or too old for attending school-I already understood there's rarely such thing as a "forever" house. We might eventually need to sell, and the buyers will want good schools. Isn't it exactly what I want myself when looking for houses?:)

Most people I know followed the exact advice already given in this thread several times-picked the "worst" place in the best neighborhood, remodeled it to their liking..yes, took time and money, but now their kids can attend the best schools in their home cities. They never ever questioned their choice.

As for lingerings..first house we bought when it existed only on paper. We waited for almost three years for it to be built. It was a very basic apartment-but it was my own first house, so I was happy.

The second one and the third one I found within one week, both. No lingerings.

Unfortunately, as I've mentioned before, we had to go and buy the fourth house..))

Now that was more difficult, because the family extended so much, and because we now needed walking distance to shopping etc.-and walking distance is a rare thing where we live. We spent several crazy months looking for the house. We did find it, and that's when I finally had lingerings. Still have:)

I wonder though how much the lingerings are about the house itself, or they reflect the family situation that drove us to look for the house in the first place.

Because I do love it. There is something immensely calming about it, with all its shortcomings(that are numerous))

I do believe the right house will "call" you..like mine did. But I also believe there's more than one right house for us.

Leigh,

Here are my thoughts. Of course, my opinions are subjective, and my life situation is different from yours.

Gunfire incidents are definitely a big NO for me. There are other more affordable areas that have low violence and no gang problems.

The house you passed on was in Oak Grove. It's an unincorporated area and often gets bundled together with Milwaukie, which is an incorporated city. DH knows that area better than me and his opinion is that it can be semi-rural in places. "Rednecky" as he says. The areas along SE McLoughlin Blvd have a reputation for higher crime rates.

I've been watching the real estate market too. DH and I are contemplating a move again since our DS is graduating from HS soon. This time it's to downsize and reduce the home upkeep burden.

Personally, I'd stay away from North/NE Portland. Yes, those areas seem to be on the cusp of gentrification and the real estate started appreciating in value. However, the fact that the city budgeted $96 million over the next 10 years to fight gentrification in those areas doesn't sound good to me at all.

Portland tabs $96M to combat gentrification

Apparently the money will go toward providing low-income housing in N and NE PDX. Looks like there's a lot of resistance from the inner-city activist groups toward more affluent newcomers which doesn't make for a good neighborhood climate. Poverty enclaves also tend to attract crime.

A friend of mine lives in the Alberta St. area. She has 2 kids, one in preschool and the other in elementary school. They both attend a private Montessori school. She and her husband-to-be moved there before they got married and had the kids. Now they're shopping for a place in West Linn because of good schools and safer neighborhoods. She said they might keep their house in NE PDX as a rental since the area is quite popular with the hip crowd.

DH and I are watching Milwaukie now. The city government seems to be investing in community improvement projects:

http://www.milwaukieoregon.gov/communitydevelopment

Apparently the goal is to make Milwaukie an urban "destination". They launched farmers' market downtown, have plans for higher density housing downtown and in nearby areas like high-rent townhomes and condos. They already built some rather upscale-looking townhouses next to the city library. So far, they don't appear to be concerned with fighting gentrification.

There are plans to make some streets bike and pedestrian friendly (sidewalks, bike lanes, etc.) like SE Monroe St. which appeals to us. The area around SE Monroe appears to be pretty much middle to upper middle class with low crime.

However, from what I know, Milwaukie schools aren't that great. There's a chance they'd improve if new people move in and the city manages to replace trailer parks and cheap apartment complexes with more upscale housing, but it's pretty much a gamble.

Still, in my church in NW PDX a few young people in their 20's-30's bought houses in Milwaukie in 2015 because of the new MAX line and more affordable prices. Realtors told us that houses under $300K and without major issues sold in a week or less last summer.

We had a few upper-middle class clients who lived in Milwaukie. They told us they sent kids to private high schools since Milwaukie HS was bad. Apparently the big source of problems was a high
share of families from trailer parks and cheap apartments near SE 82nd
St.

Someone told us she had no problem getting a transfer for her kid out of North Clackamas school district which includes Milwaukie. Her kid went to schools in Riverdale district, a top-notch school district in Dunthorpe. She said there were a few more Milwaukie families who transferred to that district too.

Lana_roma...wow thank you so much. Your info has been so helpful. Such interesting info about gentrification in pdx. That is really something to think about. Funny my daughter attends a montessori charter not far from Alberta Arts and I have been trying so hard to like it up there and just cannot get over the uncomfortable vibe. Her school is great but the area around it, not so much. I'm not surprised to hear of families leaving while the hip younger crowd moves in. I would have loved it in my 20s, so I get it!

I currently rent in Sellwood and frankly feel more comfortable staying close to what's familiar and Milwaukie offers that, which is why I have kept that area on top of my search list. Too bad that house I passed up had such a weird location and neighbors...but I don't really know the neighborhoods at all yet, even though I have done grocery shopping around there for years. Just never ventured around beyond the stores! I'm wondering if Milwaukie might be a place where you can still possibly find a tiny less expensive house in a nicer area maybe? Not sure yet. The commute to my daughter's school in NE from Sellwood really hasn't been too bad. It's really just when there are pta meetings at 6 pm that it gets tough..so I miss a lot of those! I'm also curious about these families going to Riverdale. Don't they charge "private school" fees to attend? That is something I would consider seriously if it isn't too pricey. I actually would probably find a way to pay for private high school if it came to that...so I probably won't rule out a house attached to a lousy school at this point.

Again, I so appreciate your input. I may throw another question your way possibly at some point, if you don't mind! So glad you connected. Thanks again...

Leigh,

Have you heard about the House Bill 3681 on Open Enrollment in Oregon? If not, here are links for your information:

Brief Bill Summary

House Bill 3681 - Full Text

So far as I know, West Linn-Wilsonville, Lake Oswego and Riverdale school districts participate in Open Enrollment. You might want to check the school district websites for more up-to-date information.

That lady's child apparently went to Riverdale via a regular transfer in the beginning. No private school tuition to pay but the transfer had to be renewed every year, I think. When HB 3681 went into effect, she re-applied under the new Open Enrollment law and her kid was allowed to stay in the district until the end of HS. No renewal applications every year anymore. No tuition to pay either.

Portland Public School does not participate in Open Enrollment but is required to release PPS students admitted into other districts under Open Enrollment.

Once your child is accepted by another district, she will stay in that district regardless of where you live. Then you could shop for any house within a convenient commute to the school and your work.

HB 3681 was our lifesaver. Our DS was accepted under the Open Enrollment law, which had just been adopted.

Milwaukie does have nicer areas. I'm looking at Ardenwald, Hector Campbell, Linwood, Central Milwaukie and Lake Road neighborhoods. Lleweling and areas along SE Johnson Creek Rd look rather dumpy to me. Waverly Heights is way, way too expensive - houses for $1M and up.

Lana_roma.....I was not familiar with open enrollment. That certainly offers a lot of freedom. Thanks so much for sharing that! I had no idea. And the Milwaukie neighborhood info is so helpful. You have more knowledge about that than my realtor....lol!

You are very welcome, Leigh. I'm glad to be of some help. DH and I did quite a bit of legwork in the past. Thanks to the nature of our business, we were able to talk to a lot of people from different parts of the city, which helped us too.

I'd also add that wherever you chose, drive through the area both during the day and at night.

While we were looking I found an area I thought would be ideal ... until I checked it out again at night. One house turned out to be the local hangout for kids whose parents never seemed to be at home. Happened the night I drove by there was a full scale, loud, noisy party going on.

Also, check with your local police department on crime statistics. They were very helpful when we were researching neighborhoods.

Leigh, did you end up finding a nice place to buy? I'm so interested in how your search turned out since I live in NE Portland myself. I hope congratulations are in order by now!

Nmarkey31...sorry I never saw this! I wasn't being notified of posts! Well..it's been awhile but I thought I'd respond. I was looking actively and then I decided to regroup and search for a new school for my daughter, due to issues she was having. I ended up enrolling her in a wonderful small private school in milwaukie...so now I am searching there actively. In fact, I found your post because I found a place I like but I don't know the area at all and hoping someone here does! Thanks for checking in although my response is really late!!