Time goes so fast. It always seems like yesterday.
Cherish every day.

It's the worst part about one of the best things in our lives..... *sigh*

I understand you are dreading her loss. We all know our beloved pets have shorter life spans than our own, but somehow that doesn't make it any easier when they leave us, does it? If she's doing ok, you could have more years with her. (I hope she's an indoor cat because she'll be safer that way, but if her routine is to go out, it's tough to change that.) All you can do is what you've been doing for 13 years, giving her the best quality of life. Don't be sad, be at peace, and enjoy your dear pet.

when my sister had to put her golden down at only 8 yrs.old, i told her "they are only here for a short while and its our job to give them the best life we can." she was devastated as we all were. he was such a great dog and everybody loved him. but my words stuck with and help her over the next few months... they love us unconditionally and its our job to do the same...

we had to put our dog down in June and I'm still not ready for another one. we have a cat who we love so much, so he is filling the void. we found him on the rocks in Cape May when he was about 6mos. it was december and very cold and windy on the bay. took him home, thought to find him a home, but he wriggled into our hearts and we cannot imagine life w/o him. he's 10 now and still acts like kitten but we know he is on the downturn of his life. we love him everyday, he's very needy!!, and we love every minute of it. he is just the best and i keep saying we will never have another like him. sometimes i think he knows he was rescued from a terrible situation and just loves us for it!! when its cold and windy outside, as it is now, he burrows down deeper into our comforter and legs and i wonder if he remembers his days on the rocks?? BTW , his name is Jetty :)

Enjoy and love your kitty everyday, its the best think u can do for her !!!

it seems that i don't usually have a choice in the matter. when i have lost a dane, another needing some tlc, a warm bed, and good food, always finds me sooner or later (usually sooner)!

i have never questioned it. with every loss i have had, the new dog is sent to me to help me heal. i welcome them with open arms. it doesn't matter to me the time frame. i lost swee' pea and 3 days later, olivia found me. samson found me a short 5 months after i lost bentley. i like to think my departed dogs had a hand...errr, paw...in these situations. :)

I lost my beloved dog Lily the first week of December. She was 10.5, it was cancer and very quick and sudden. My remaining dog Rocky and I have been missing her greatly, and trying to figure out how we live with just the two of us. But he's incredibly lonely ... so I am adopting another female dog from a rescue, we get her on Sunday.

I always have 2 dogs, so it's usually the remaining dog mourning that gets me motivated to find another dog that needs a good home. The new dogs never "replace" the dogs that passed, but are needed. I am not over my own mourning for Lily, but can open my heart to the new girl Shiloh.

Over the years, I have had and lost numerous dogs and cats, and realize they will be part of my life for a shorter period of time than I would like. But each continues to live in my heart and my head. I prefer to open my home to dogs that need homes from rescues, and know that they will have a great life with me. So I just accept the time I have with them.

nannygoat, that quote is exactly the reminder I needed. Thank you.

Thank you to all of you. Misty is still with the vet Had 2 hour surgery on teeth. Had many pulled and had a nasty abscess also. my wonderful vet took her home with him tonight. And to answer your question socks, indoor only. All my cats are and I really believe there are so many risks for outdoor cats.

reinaequina- I can only imagine how much better kitty is going to feel after she heals. To answer your question- I am not dealing with my pets short lifespans very well. I lost my 16 year old sweet dog last year and took that very hard. I have a 6 year old dog and one that I believe may be as old as 14 right now. So I try to do what I can to make our time together special. I make sure I take them for a walk on the day my husband does not have time to do it and try to take care of them well. I fear losing the older dog very much. I feel time ticking and it actually hurts.

Wonderful words have been offered here, just the thought alone can bring me to tears. Our beloved pets certainly give us much more, then we give them. Seeing how many unloved pets there are, I try to take comfort in knowing that at the very least, ours were always loved, cared for and appreciated.

They only live in the now, have no sense of mortality. Same as with our own too short lives, you can't do anything about how long (or short) each is. You can make sure they are comfortable when they are with you, which is really all they know anyway.

I think cats live very long lives! When I was a kid, our pet cat lived to be 19 -- ate "junk" grocery store cat food and went outside whenever he wanted. Also had minimal vet care.

It seemed like a long time because he was around for most of my childhood.

Now I wish I had gotten the cat I have now sooner -- he will be around long past my kids going to college -- just when I want to foot loose and fancy free (not tied down).

My old kitty lived to 22 .... and trust me, that too seemed way too short. It was so painful to say goodbye - we knew each other so well and had been thru so much.

I have a cat not a dog, but when i was little our house cat lived until she was 21!! So be thankful that a cat can live sometimes twice as long as a dog! Besides that, the only way to really cope with our pet's short lives is by loving them as much as possible and giving them the best possible life while they're still alive, so when they do pass, you're left with all the happy memories and knowing that you gave them the best life they could possible have had

Animals mourn too. WHen I came to Ireland. I brought with me my last three Siamese, after breeding many years. They all had the same father and had been together over a decade. When I walked in the fields they would all follow me in a line ( along with my two pet lambs and a hen with no toes at one time) I had the awareness that when one died the others would follow and that is what happened. The last of the three simply pined to death. Day by day getting weaker by choice then dying with a smile on his face. IT is OK to grieve and loving always costs

I don't deal with it very well. We lost our 13 year old lab to cancer a
few days ago and it's really hard though we knew it was coming. 2 years ago, we lost our almost 21
year old cat and a few short months after, our 17 year old. The fact
that they lived fairly long lives didn't make it easier to part with them
at all.

You just love the daylights out of them while they are with you!! I have had pets - both dogs and cats (and bunnies) - all of my life. Some lived to a ripe old age (for them) in great health and a few developed some serious health problems and weren't with me all that long. It never gets easier losing one of them for whatever reason. So you shower them with the best possible care and attention and appreciate them for their unconditional love and devotion and enjoy them daily while they are a part of your life. And you grieve for them like you would for any family member when you lose them. It's hard but endurable and is made somewhat easier by having another pet in your household to love and care for or finding a new best friend. There are so many unwanted or abused pets out there needing a good home that I encourage anyone who has recently lost a pet to look to adopting one of these unfortunates and sharing your home and the love you lavished on your former pet. It's good for you and great for them - a win-win situation!!

And if you live in a multi pet household, understand that your remaining pet(s) is just as likely to grieve at the loss of their companion as you are.

Wise words gardengal. Today the sun has been shining so I sat outside with coffee and my semi feral decided to honour my lap, rolling on his back purring... Had I not been here when he was dumped; although I think the locals knew a soft touch,? Just realised my two siblings are about 12 years old... Ouch!

I have to emphasise in the strongest terms that I am not intending to preach, proselytise or convert. I'm just saying what I have learnt and practised for the past 20 years (plus some) and I have come to accept as undeniably true.

Everything, without exception, is completely impermanent.

Now, I know that sounds obvious to the point of "Well, D'UH!", but it's one thing to know it as obvious, and quite another to accept it with a calm heart and an appreciative understanding.

I am dying.

I am conscious, every single day, that every single day that goes by, is one day closer to my final demise.

Every breath, is one breath less.

We begin this life by taking a gulp of air, and we end it, by breathing out for a final time...

I am dying.

So are you.

As you read this post, your life is continuing to pass, and the minutes ticking by, you will never see again.

And life is utterly, totally, completely and absolutely unpredictable.

I worked with a lovely lady (Let's call her Jane) who was employed during the Christmas period to provide additional staff cover.

She was in fact a fully-qualified nurse, with many years' experience under her belt, but she had MS, and was on some pretty heavy meds to counteract the most noxious and debilitating effects. She had stopped nursing, but was able to function relatively well in a non-stressful (by comparison!) working environment.

As many will know, currently, there is no cure for MS. It can be managed, but it's a condition that will both never go away, or get better. People's health deteriorates until eventually, it all breaks down, and the person eventually dies of associated untreatable problems.

Jane was on her way home one evening after work, when a truck flew out of a side turning, smashed into her car and killed her outright.

We all envision ourselves dying calmly and gently at home, surrounded by our loved ones.

The people in the WTC Twin towers thought that too... That's how unpredictable death is.

There is a personage, a "God", a manifestation, in TIbetan Buddhism, called Yama, and he is the Guardian and Administrator of the Afterlife. He is basically, the terrific and imposing manifestation of Death, and he's pretty awesome and Intimidating.

Basically, that's how death is viewed by many...

I Meditate on Yama and his role, his task, every day. I like to call it, "Taking Tea with Yama. "

Sometimes, he is so tiny, I can tuck him into my Jeans change pocket and he's barely noticeable.

At other times he is so present and imposing, so grand and colossal, that his magnificence blocks the sun...

But he is always with me. he never leaves my side, his presence is constant and uninterrupted.

And one day, he will place his hand lightly on my shoulder, bid me 'come', and I will not be able to refuse him.

Time is relative.

A Mayfly lives for a day, while a bowhead whale can hit 200 years. But the one thing they have in common, is that they are born, and they die. The intervening period is what counts.

And that's what counts for us.

We never know, can never predict and can never estimate with any accuracy, how long we will walk this world.

Our beginning was beyond our control. Our end is unknowable.

The important, is to live for today, and go to bed each night, thinking, "Today I did good".

But just as we have no choice but to let go of yesterday, and let it pass us by on the calendar, so we must embrace all the things we love; the people, the creatures, the homes, furnishings, cars, plants, gardens, jewels and clothing - and know that it all has a beginning, a middle and an end.

Instead of being fearful and mournful (although that is natural) we must also learn to rejoice, be glad, and release.

Let go, and remember gladly.

We shall join them all too soon....

Buddhism has taught me so much in these past years. But this lesson has perhaps been the most beneficial, most salutary - and most difficult one - to embrace.

We are not dying ; we are living. As are our critters. Life is a positive strong gift which they give to us unstintingly ( I find your post the most negative and depressed and inapprotpiate I have read in a long while. and t is not the message Buddhism teaches. Giving is all; OK off to bed here. Praying for you.

I'm not going to get into an argument with you; I neither consider myself wrong, or right.

Buddhism indeed teaches that Life and everything about it, is impermanent and clinging to any semblance of permanence is what makes us suffer as the consequences are not what we desire. It's not pessimistic at all. It's an undeniable truth. If we see it as pessimistic, there is a misunderstanding....

I am joyous and very happy, and you're correct that living is a wholesome and positive thing. I have had pets - I still have them. But I know that I must release them when their time comes, because it's the only choice I have.

But in turning away from the reality of impermanence, and considering it pessimistic and negative, is falling into the trap of denial.

Could you clarify which part specifically you found 'negative and depressed'...?

I would gladly converse with you in regard to what you know of Buddhism (I was a long-term, practising Roman Catholic before I decided to switch boats) so I'm sure we could have a wonderful exchange of information and ideas.

Be well. I hope your sleep is restful.

Such a patronising and predicatable reply and you are indeed preaching and yes we knew well that you were RC! roflol! Faith is to be lived not dissected. Period.

As I said, your posts are inappropriate here. NB western Buddhism is a polluted and negating idea.

Over and OUT from me .. LIFE is to be lived and given Can I block posters please as I really need to here? THank you. I was enjoying the forum until now

Wow, something really has yanked your chain, hasn't it? I have yet to understand precisely what it is that you are so offended by, as you haven't really clarified...

I'm not preaching at all, I'm just putting forward what I have learnt, but you haven't actually answered my question, you've just gone on the offensive, and I can't for the life of me understand why you are so angered by it....

You make random comments about Buddhism being a 'polluted and negating idea' but do not substantiate your own view with anything logical or discursive. You merely attack and insult.

How did you know I used to be RC before I mentioned it? And who's 'we'? Are you spokesperson for others?

What do you mean by faith is not to be dissected? You mean you just accept everything you're told at face value without question?

Why not enter into a reasonable discussion, instead of jumping to the defensive and being so angry?

Instead of demonstrating such indignation, why do you not actually point to anything in my original post that is inaccurate or entirely wrong, as I asked you to do?

Why not discuss your views without getting so angry? How precisely, is my post inappropriate? it discusses the very thing the OP introduced; it actually gets to the very core of the subject.

I DO live my Faith, every single MOMENT of the day. I personify it and manifest it to the very best of my ability, because I am surrounded by it at all times... So I concur that Faith is to be lived; But it's important to be realistic too....it would be more constructive for everyone if you entered into dialogue.

Perhaps you would prefer to PM me and we can continue to engage in a constructive manner...?

However, if you continue to respond on this thread, I can only claim the equal right to do likewise....

We are all human and while some of us are able to avoid attachment and therefore suffering, the vast majority are not. And no matter how much we rationalize, we can't protect ourselves from the pain of losing a loved animal companion. So we deal with it the best we can, and that is all we can do.

Thank you petra_gw, that's absolutely right. I don't think anyone is very good at avoiding attachment at all; it is a natural response to the closeness and affection we feel for others. It's the same with pain... but the release of such emotions can also prove tricky. And it's that aspect that brings the most problems. Feeling grief, pain and suffering the consequences, is one thing. Holding on to those feelings and emotions is often what can prove detrimental to a person's healing.

I would suspect many of us have felt something along the lines of "It's time they moved on". or "They're still not over it" about people we know or have come across, who seem apparently incapable or utterly reluctant to release their hurt.

It's tragic, and I don't blame them one bit; but those observing find it incredible... Classic case is HM Queen Victoria; when Albert died, she spent the remainder of her life, in mourning, and became a recluse from the throne and Government, for an astonishing period of time....

Those who have been touched by personal tragedy need and deserve support.

But it's not an unhealthy thing to consider such matters in a different perspective...

Nice of you to respond.

IMO, no one owes others to recover from a bereavement. Of course, ideally, people go through the stages of grief and then, eventually, move on to embrace life again. But those who are unable to do so, and refuse help via therapy or pharmaceuticals, should have the right to grieve forever if that is what they want to do. We may see it as a waste, but it's their life.

And the same goes for people who lose an animal companion and, in an effort to protect themselves, never take in another animal. I personally know two people who've done just that and while I feel sorry they are missing out on the companionship and love of a furry family member, it is the right decision for them because they just don't want to cope with the eventual loss.

I never suggested people owe others recovery, at all.

I'm merely describing the process and lamenting the sadness people carry with them, but I'm not suggesting in any way that people should or must move on. I'm saying that holding on to grief can evoke the same level of sadness as the event itself.

In my first post I illustrated a way of coming to terms with the fact that at one point or another, death affects us all, whether directly or by association. It's a reality of life that happens, and cannot be avoided at any cost, with any effort.... When my father died, in 2010, I became my mother's constant support and companion, and stayed with her through her grief. Naturally, my father's death affected us in different ways; and because of what I had processed for myself, I was able to be a stronger person for her, than my brothers were. In fact, they all three looked to me for support and comfort.

That was a task I had not foreseen, but what I had learnt, practised and implemented, came to be of great help.

I wasn't implying you did, just responding to what you wrote here: I would suspect many of us have felt something along the lines of "It's
time they moved on". or "They're still not over it" about people we know
or have come across, who seem apparently incapable or utterly reluctant
to release their hurt.

I haven't felt that and if others feel it, I hope they don't express their feelings. Some people might take 2 months, some people 20 years. We all process to the best of our ability.