The bad and good re trip and why I'm in the Christmas spirit
10 years ago
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Re- Need to vent-I'm so sad
Comments (7)I sympathize, rosies. You have not failed in any aspect, at all. You have done everything in your power to maintain your mother's health in the face of many obstacles. You must be very tired. I'm in year 3 of caretaking, too. Mum is losing her mental faculties now. Short term memory is waning, though physically she is quite healthy and fit, despite a stroke in '04 (did the mental damage). She has gone from an independent old woman, to one that must be really "cared for"... I get her up in the morning, see that she dresses herself, washes her face, fixes her hair. I prepare her breakfast, helpmeet does lunch, we split dinner. I put her to bed, see that she takes her pills, schedule the "bath lady", all the things that you have to do for an elderly parent. It's really hard! and you lose your own freedom. I haven't been out for dinner with the helpmeet "on the spur of the moment" for over 2 months now. I can't visit a greenhouse/nursery after work... I have to go right home, make sure the urostomy pouch is emptied, she has a glass of water, and that the sign is on the toilet reminding her NOT to empty the pouch again until it's time for bed. From the time I wake up until I go to bed I think about Mum and the next "chore" on the list... You have done as much as you can be expected to do. You've done it well, with love and commitment. It's OK to feel sad about what is changing in your life. But don't spend too much time feeling guilty even though it's part of the deal. (Tell the facility you would rather not have them shove so much garbage food into your mother. You are paying them to take care of her and you have every right to expect them to follow your wishes with respect to diet!)...See MoreChristmas Spirit?
Comments (32)Christmas will be sooooooooooooooooooo different here this year as well.I always go overboard with decorating and gifts.But a few years ago all my friends and i agreed to not give each other gifts anymore as we all had what we needed and wanted and our families were growing with grands and great grand,and like we said we didn't need gifts to prove our friendshps.It was hard getting used to it but we did. My grands have all moved away and i still send pkgs to them,they will be smaller this year,but the kids are young still all under 4,and they like anything. Since i'm battleing this BC this year,i can't get out to do a lot of shopping either,and i'll have my 4th chemo the day before christmas,so i know i won't feel up to doing all that decorating,and my DH has never helped with the decorating either.He's one of the Bah Humbug guys when it comes to xmas. I'll still enjoy mu xmas movies and my tv shows though.It'll be different,i'll survive it though. Kathi...See MoreGood Books into good/bad movies?.
Comments (19)Vee, thanks for the link to the Gallup poll. Whew! It will take me a while to assimilate it. As for "the sad state of affairs": I understand now. I tied it to the wrong paragraph. :-) Woodnymph, yeah, I realize that I'm in the minority about the film of To Kill a Mockingbird. I figure my love of the whole book makes me too critical of the adaptation, which picks out and gives emphasis to a particular part. Which reminds me: June, if you watch the Olivier/Oberon Wuthering Heights, don't expect to see the whole story -- you will only get part of it. Otherwise, it's a quite fascinating interpretation: telling, I think, of what adaptors of the 1930s thought was important and what subsequent audiences have taken in. Woodnymph, I saw The English Patient film first, and then read the book. While the "essence" of the book might have been captured in the film, the two are so different! I like the film better. Another essence capturer, I think, is The French Lieutenant's Woman. Oh gosh, yes, the Polanski-directed Tess is superb, I think, and very faithful. Actually I like nearly all of the film versions of Hardy's books, particularly Tess and Far from the Madding Crowd -- Alan Bates will always be my Gabriel Oak. I also liked most of the Merchant-Ivory productions. I certainly like their adaptations of Forster, though I find Forster's writing insufferably Edwardian. I do like some Edwardian writing but Forster's was even more uptight than most. Knowing his bio and the times, I can understand why he wrote the way he did but the priggishness still exasperates me. Speaking of another Forster -- Margaret Forster, that is -- and Alan Bates: I adore the 1966 adaptation of Forster's Georgy Girl. I loved that book so much as a teenager that I determined I was to live in London. When this subject comes up, I always have to mention two of my favorite short story adaptations: John Huston's "The Dead" (from Joyce's Dubliners) and "Babette's Feast" (from Dinesen's Anecdotes of Destiny). June, you're right: there are so many good films that owe their genesis to a book....See MoreAm I the only one NOT into the Christmas spirit?
Comments (67)I love the Christmas season and all the decorations. Last year I made a big deal about Christmas because my sister had just been diagnosed with lung cancer and wanted to make it special for her so I went all out to make it extra special. We talked that day and she was going to call for a ride then she ended not showing up. I was a little upset to say the least and disappointed. She was not feeling ill at this time, she just decided she was going to stay home and not tell me or answer her phone. I had guests over and held off dinner for as long as I could until another family member contacted her and she said she was just going to stay home without letting me know. So this year, my sister is at my house, missed everything last year and this year now that she is here I can't do anything. No room to do any decorating so I can't make it special for her this year. I am so busy with her and her needs I won't have time to cook a special meal nor do I want to because I am just so exhausted haha and I certainly don't want to do a sink full of dishes and pots and pans from making a turkey dinner. She doesn't have the appetite anyway. And I am still a little peeved about last year. This may be her last Christmas, hopefully not but I just can't be bothered what with all that is going on right now. Here is a picture of how my living room is usually decorated and now which is full to the brim with hospital bed, oxygen tanks and all her medical equipment....See More- 10 years ago
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