etiquette mavens
MtnRdRedux
8 years ago
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maddielee
8 years agoUser
8 years agoRelated Discussions
reform temple dress etiquette
Comments (17)Hey Lisa ~ It's good to "see" you ;o) We're going to a Bat Mitzvah in late September and I was just discussing our attire this past weekend with my cousin. She's the grandma of the Bat Mitzvah girl and is very "up" on what to do and what not to do (BTW, she's Conservative and keeps kosher). I was showing her the dress I had ordered for the event, which is sleeveless. I told her I would be getting a lightweight shrug to wear over the dress. She thought I was wearing a shrug because of the temple service, and she said that I didn't have to wear anything over the sleeveless dress because it was in a Reform temple. I told her that I was planning on wearing a shrug because I would feel more comfortable in a little cover-up because sleeveless might be pushing it because of my age and (ahem) arms LOL. We also discussed whether or not it would be a hose or no-hose day. She's even going to go bare-legged if it's hot, and believe me, if she can go bare-legged I know it's "correct". She knows her etiquette. You can certainly wear a casual skirt and no hose. Enjoy! Your son has really grown and he is absolutely adorable!...See MoreA Dollars & Cents Take on Weddings
Comments (21)It took your follow-up comment and reading back and forth a couple times to see what you were saying. At first it looked like you were saying spare me the friends that said they couldn't afford it and I was going WTH?? Can't be! And wasn't. Weddings. What more can I say about them. Opulence on par with the reality of a "reality show". The cost of a dress is silly. Tradition used to be that the groomsmen were expected to pick up the tab for the groom's tux. And instead of the bridesmaids buying the bride's dress, they buy dresses that'll never be worn in public again! Nowadays, it's rent 7 tuxes and the groom gets his for "free". Yeah, right, "free"! Give me a freakin break. And in exchange for this the groom gives each tux renter a keyring or some other useless, yet overpriced trinket that'll never be used. Maybe instead of spending $25 or $50 on each of the keyrings he could pay for his own tux! There was the other thread about how much to give. It occurred to me that maybe it should be based on how fiscally responsible the people are. If they have a wedding where the wedding party can wear attire that can be used again, kick in a bit more since they suggest they will be more responsible. If they go for the limos, ugly dresses & tuxes, can they handle my money? Maybe they should get less. LOL...See MoreBringing a guest to a wedding
Comments (7)Camlan is right as a matter of etiquette. An invitation that says "and guest" means any one person you want to bring. HOWEVER. A disturbingly large group of people seem to think it's an acceptable way to invite someone's significant other, rather than bother to find out his/her name. It's not; that's terrifically rude. (I've even seen someone put "and guest" to refer to a new HUSBAND he knew about rather than take a minute to find out his name.) Or maybe they think that the purpose of "and guest" is to make sure that everyone has a dance partner or something and that "everyone knows" that so it's understood that you only bring a date-y guest. So if you suspect that that is the case in your situation -- that they meant to invite you and your boyfriend as a couple, and don't want some random stranger, not that they are simply inviting all single people to bring escorts -- then you have a different problem. You still will be perfectly correct if you bring anyone at all, not just your boyfriend -- after all, they did word your invitation that way. But you can't force them to understand that and convince yourself that they have no right to be upset because "it's their own fault if they don't like it because it was their own mistake," true as that would be. In short, I don't think that the etiquette answer is the whole answer to your problem. I'd first try to find out if they have invited all single people "and guest." If so, then you have your answer: bring anyone you like. They don't mind having random strangers and don't care if it's a romantic partner or not. If you don't know anyone you can ask, then I'd send an email to your friend and say something like, "Thank you for the beautiful invitation! Unfortunately, my boyfriend will be out of town that weekend and can't attend. I'm not really in touch with most of the old gang anymore, so I feel a little shy about coming alone. Would it be all right if I brought Dudley Jones instead?" He will either answer, "Of course! Bring anyone you like!" or something like "You know, Katie also doesn't want to come alone; why don't the two of you ride together?" And then you'll have your answer. I would, though, advise against bringing as your guest anyone who knows the bride or groom more than very slightly. It makes it awkward for the couple if the person is someone who might conceivably been invited on his own, but wasn't. There might also have been a good reason, like bad feelings between him and some other guest. Consider whether you even want to bring a guest at all; it may make you feel more comfortable in the first ten minutes, but if you find yourself wanting to reminisce with your old school friends, you'll be glad you don't have to worry about neglecting your date. Like at a reunion. Finally, I don't understand how your friend's being gay is relevant to any of this....See MoreWedding invitation - need guidance please
Comments (8)Liltingbelle has it exactly right. The fact that they are both women is irrelevant for your purpose, so you do the same as if they were one man and one woman not officially married but living together as a permanent couple. "And guest" and even two separate invitations would seem like you are refusing to acknowledge them as a social unit or, worse, making a judgment. Follow your first instinct and send them one invitation, addressed to Ms. Jane Doe and Ms. Mary Smith....See MoreBunny
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