And a teen who doesn't know the difference between being vegan and vegetarian. Just wait till she shows up with a guest! That has happened to me where I have to whisper "did she eat already?" Or scramble to find a place setting and table room. Or be totally embarrassed on the phone when a guest asked, on his way to our house, if he could bring his daughter to Christmas Eve...he has a daughter? (His live-in's daughter. The live-in was a surprise for years, he never said they were together, and to this day I don't know her last name) and as I hemmed and hawed and asked her age so I could scramble for a gift for Santa to give her, he hung up, called back, and said she wouldn't be coming after all. Or, as another did, show up after dinner is over, hungry. With a guest.

Most of my family is very civilized and commiserates with me over these.

Oh boy! Don't you love last minute surprises! Well at least this is an opportunity for you to demonstrate how pro-active and creative you can get when it comes to preparing a big meal. And remember, the most important part is being with family. I'm sure it will all go well.

There's still time to tell your sister to bring anything necessary for anyone on a special diet.

My sister once hosted, ON AN ISLAND, us and 18 other family members. Well in advance it was made known that anyone with any special food needs needed to bring what they needed. The first morning, my nephew's girlfriend requested soy milk for her cereal. Needless to say..........

Yep, you might just as well grin and bear it. At least your niece will eat your food "just this once." Good for her. I hope you all have a good time.

Things are more complicated here, in that you don't talk to your sister directly , but instead rely on your mom to remind you.

The niece said she would eat things with dairy, so be it! Going vegetarian or vegan is very common among teen age girls. Most don't stick with it.

I wouldn't stress over what to serve her. If you have time, there are vegan meatless options in the frozen section of most grocery store. Whole Foods has a very wide selection.

Her dinner can be: the meatless option (if you get one) salad and all the veggies. Then she can decide which sides with butter and diary to eat. My guess is that she'll eat both stuffing and the sides.

Side story: Both my daughters are vegetarians for years. One experienced hair loss due to not enough protein. Our dermatologist calls these patients her "salad girls."Luckily my daughter had unusually thick hair to begin with.

Wow...I really feel for you on this one and I can say with all certanty I'd be more than annoyed. You'd think she would have at least given you the courtesy of a call.

I'm not annoyed at all. I rarely get to see my sister and her family so I'm pleasantly surprised to hear they will be here. It was actually quite funny when my mother and I realized that it had not come up in conversation before! Had my niece not become vegan recently, they would have shown up with my parents on Thanksgiving and I would have been scrambling! Now I'm going to change up some of the recipes a bit knowing my sister and BIL are coming instead of the plain Jane recipes my kids prefer. And I'll see if I can find at least one other side dish that will appeal to my niece. The downside is that I planned to have all my shopping done first thing tomorrow morning but with changes to the menu, I'll probably need a little more time. Now just need to figure out what to,do about my dog. He's harmless but don't want my little niece to feel uncomfortable.

Giant sells Gardein products....fake chicken breasts, etc.. Look for them in/near the produce section.

Sorry your TG is going to be more hectic than you planned. Take a deep breath!

Our family enjoys a crowd, so if we get unexpected 'stragglers' we'll find a place. So far the head count is 19, and as far as I know, no 'stragglers'. But that could change on Thanksgiving day. ;)

Your communication issues are so typical of how things go with me and my mother. You handle it well. As far as the Vegan thing..well forgive me but to indulge a teen in a latest fad, at the last minute no less..well it seems wrong. You want to up the ante on your dinner--I get that but to think for 2 seconds about a single person and their very PERSONAL decisions..well I say let her know the full monty of her decision. She may only get to eat cream corn for Thanksgiving..and that only because she is being polite and eating dairy this once!! That is on HER!! She needs to get used to bringing her own with her or eating before she goes to people's homes. That is part of HER DECISION--let her live it!!

You're a really good sport, I get being happy about seeing your sister and her family of course, I have two that just came for a visit from out so of state and I was over the moon, but I prefer notice and still would have been annoyed.

I remember one year, a relative on my late DH's side informed us two days before T-day that they'd be coming .... a couple with three teens, plus two of the teens' friends. A lot of last minute scrambling for that (we had planned for our normal crowd of 15). But it was fun, I miss our big crowds. Everyone kind of scattered after he died. Only having four this year.

Hope your day is great! DH used to get me massage certificates for after the holiday. :)

It's almost easier to be gracious to very last minute changes because you don't have time to stew and, well, it is what it is. Advance notice, even for a big change in numbers, give you time to be frazzled for a few minutes, clear out the fridge a bit more, borrow some chairs, then just hit the store.

I'm not really surer you have to change up your menu too much. They have a daughter with a restricted diet, a 5-year-old who will probably be happy with "plain Jane", so you really just have a couple of adults to worry about. And they will just be glad to be together :)

We used to have the same communication mishaps with my Mom concerning my brother when he came to visit in the summer. Sometimes she'd remember to tell me but there were times I only found out the day before when my brother would call to tell me what time his flight arrived - so that I could pick him up at the airport. Usually it worked out but the last time he called we were away for a few days.

You're a good sport and it sounds like you'll have a good time with your family. And after all that's the best part of holidays.

Our Thanksgiving has just downsized radically - from 9 including a strict vegetarian and one who doesn't eat meat but does eat dairy to 4 and at least they don't have any restrictions. So the big turkey will stay in the freezer and I picked up a breast and 2 thighs. I'll debone the thighs and tie ithem before cooking so that it can be easily sliced into medallions for serving.

But it's the first Thanksgiving in 37 years without all 3 kids, we'll only have 1 and her boyfriend. That was bound to happen now that my eldest is married. My other son has too much work to take a few days off. I just hope that we can all get together over Christmas.

Wow, I can't believe your sister didn't communicate with you at all regarding their plans. And at least offer to bring something in the process.

My sister and I, while we get along fine, are not super close, never have been. I've never been one to be a phone talker, so most of the time we keep in touch via email or even Facebook. Our schedules are so different that when we do talk on the phone, it involves about a week of phone tag. When she does come visit, they stay with my parents. My mom usually is the intermediary for planning visits and normally, we all gather at my parents when they are in town (bigger house, halfway b/w my brother and me, no dog to worry about, etc). I'm sure my sister assumed my mom had talked with me about it. And since they are traveling from a distance, there is certainly no expectation that they would bring a dish. BIL loves to cook, so he typically offers any help desired when we all gather together. It was an honest oversight with my mom. We have only had one conversation prior to last night about Thanksgiving and for whatever reason, my sisters name never came up - we only discussed the fact that my brother's family wasn't coming. I know my sister is not expecting me to go to any trouble catering to her daughter's diet, but the hostess in me wants to make sure she has at least a couple of things to eat that are vegan. She can then decide whether to "cheat" with the side dishes that have dairy.

Now that I've had time to digest, I am excited they are coming. My kids have no cousins who live anywhere nearby so it will be nice for them to get to hang out together and to unexpectedly see my sister and her husband.

I love your attitude! You just have to go with these surprises.

BTW I've never been to any holiday meal where food ran out. I'd just grab a ham as an added entree (no need to prep a second turkey) and come up with a fun, fabulous vegetarian dish for the niece. I'm sure everything else you have planned will accommodate them just fine.

You can always grab an extra turkey breast if you have a turkey already.

One of my grad school friends was vegetarian, and she just ate what she could eat and never asked anyone for special accommodations.

When I met DH, he had been vegetarian for a few years and recently started eating meat again primarily because he missed TG turkey. We have been eating more vegetarian and vegan meals lately again.

As long as they are not sleeping at your house it's all good :-)

instead of getting another turkey or breast, maybe pickup a good ham and have it pre-sliced. It just needs warmed up and my guests love two meats.

love your attitude and hope you have a fun tg! The five yr old should spice things up.